Jenny (2 page)

1'd like to thank Sarah Burnes, Judy Clain, Lucy Lockley
and Martha Radginski of the St. Charles Missouri CityCounty Library District for their help with research.

Jenny was standing in the vestibule of the church,
wearing her full-skirted, lace and satin, pearl-studded
bridal gown and veil, and waiting for the music to
start so she could walk down the aisle on her father's
arm and marry Cole.

The church was crowded.

It seemed to Jenny that everyone in Durango was
in attendance. The wedding of rich rancher Paul Sullivan's beautiful daughter and rancher Cole Randall,
one of the most eligible bachelors in the area, was
quite a social occasion. Those who had been invited
had shown up in force to witness the nuptials.

And now it was almost time.

Today was her wedding day.

Today she was to marry Cole.

A terrible sense of unease plagued her. She was realizing, far too late, the seriousness of her situation.
If the letter hadn't arrived four days before, she
wouldn't have been in this desperate state, but the
letter had arrived, and now she had a decision to
make. She could delay no longer.

She had to decide what to do with the rest of her
life.

She could go through with the wedding and marry
Cole, or she could follow her lifelong dream and go
back East to the exclusive girls' academy in Philadelphia that had finally notified her that she'd been
accepted.

Jenny had applied to the academy over a year before and had waited endlessly for word that she'd
been accepted. She had always wanted to further her
education. She wanted to travel and see more of the
world. After months of waiting with no response,
Jenny had interpreted the academy's silence as rejection. Nearly a year passed before she'd completely
given up hope of ever being able to live out her
dream.

When Cole proposed, Jenny had accepted.

It had seemed the right thing to do at the time.
She'd known him for what seemed like her whole
life ever since she was eight years old and he'd rescued her from being run down by an out-of-control
buckboard.

She cared about Cole.

She liked Cole.

She knew he was a good man.

And so, the wedding had been planned.

Then, just those few days ago, the notification of
her acceptance to the academy had come. The news
had thrilled Jenny. Her father, however, had dismissed the prospect of her going away to school without a second thought.

"I thought you'd put all that nonsense out of your
head," her father had said disparagingly. "You're
marrying Cole."

Jenny had tried to explain to him again that she
wanted to further her education, to become more than
just an ornament on some man's arm.

Her father, however, had refused to listen to her
arguments. He'd insisted that she would never find a
better man to marry than Cole.

Jenny knew he might be right, but she wanted to
be sure before she resigned herself to the role of wife
for the rest of her life. She had to be certain that her
true happiness was there in Durango with Cole.

The remaining few days had passed far too quickly
as Jenny agonized over her future. Now she was confronted with the reality of either marrying Cole or
finally accepting the truth that she couldn't go through
with the wedding. She realized to her horror that she
should have said something sooner, but there could
be no turning back the clock. She couldn't change
what was past. She could only take charge of her
future.

Jenny was glad that her father had already adjusted
her veil. It was a protective shield against the real world, hiding from her father the desperation she was
certain was showing in her eyes.

The realization of what she had to do was vivid in
her heart and soul. There could be no delaying or
avoiding it any longer. She drew a ragged breath as
a shudder wracked her. Now was the time.

"Are you nervous, sweetheart?" Paul Sullivan
asked.

He'd noticed that Jenny was trembling and wanted
to reassure her. He was delighted that her wedding
day had finally arrived. Cole was perfect for her. She
couldn't have picked a better husband, and once
they'd married, the joining of their two ranches the
Lazy S and Cole's Branding Iron-would make them
one of the biggest ranches in the state. He smiled at
the thought, proud of his daughter and the fine match
she was making.

Jenny only nodded.

"Don't be," Paul said in a calming voice. "The
wedding will be over in no time. You'll see."

Jenny knew true panic as she realized he was
right it would be over in no time if she didn't
speak up.

Thoughts of Cole haunted her. She didn't want to
hurt him. She cared about him. Cole was tall and
handsome, with dark good looks. He was smart, too,
having worked tirelessly to build the Branding Iron
into a very successful ranch, well known for its fine
horses and cattle. Determined and confident, Cole was
the kind of man men admired and women adored. He was the kind of man who always got what he wanted,
too. And her father was right she probably couldn't
find a better husband than Cole.

The trouble was she didn't want a husband not
now. She was too young and had too much living
to do!

The wedding music started.

Jenny swallowed tightly as her father offered her
his arm. She took it, wondering how to handle the
situation.

Did she really dare call the wedding off?

The church was full of people.

Did she really dare to leave Cole standing at the
altar and walk away while there was still time?

Cole-

Was she marrying him because she truly loved him
or because it would please her father?

Again she agonized.

The few kisses they'd shared had been pleasant
enough, but there had always been someone nearby
to chaperone them. There had never been a time when
she'd been able to relax and truly enjoy his embrace.
They had never had more than a few moments alone
together once they'd become engaged. Cole had always been the perfect gentleman, respecting her and
protecting her.

Jenny knew that was the way of things. Her reputation had to be protected, but to what end? Was she
marrying a man who could truly stir her passion? She
didn't know. She'd read some of those dime novel romances, however, and knew how a woman was supposed to feel about the man she was to marry. Right
now, she didn't feel that way about Cole.

How Jenny wished her mother were still alive! Her
mother could have talked to her about all her confusing feelings for Cole and maybe helped her to understand herself a little better. But her mother had been
dead for over ten years. Jenny had tried to talk to
Frances, their housekeeper at the ranch, but the older
woman hadn't taken her seriously. Frances had said
that she was just having pre-wedding jitters and that
everything would be fine once she and Cole were
married. Frances thought the world of Cole. Jenny
had considered confiding in her widowed Aunt Evelyn, who had come from Philadelphia to attend the
wedding, but they didn't really know each other well
enough to talk of such deeply intimate things. So here
she was alone in her dilemma very alone.

Jenny had never wanted to hurt Cole, but for her,
marriage was a very serious commitment. It would be
for the rest of her life.

Her life

Jenny realized painfully that she hadn't really even
begun to live her life yet and she was about to
pledge herself to be Cole's wife to have and to hold
until death did them part. She cast a quick, sidelong,
nervous glance at her father. He was standing erect
beside her, his head held high, his expression one
of pride and immense satisfaction as he gazed down
at her.

"Ready, darling?" he asked with real affection, his
hand closing over hers where it rested on his forearm.

Jenny allowed him to draw her down the aisle,
though with each step a greater and greater sense of
desperation gripped her. She argued with herself,
frantically questioning her motives in balking at the
last minute.

And finally she could deny it no longer.

She knew without a doubt that she had to stop the
wedding before she said her vows and became Cole's
wife. Once they were married, it would be too late.
She would become Jenny Randall and never, ever
have the chance to be Jenny Sullivan, to find out what
kind of woman she really was.

Jenny swallowed tightly as she looked up to find
Cole watching her from where he stood before the
altar. Cole looked intense and very serious. She knew
he wanted this wedding. He had told her he loved her
and wanted to marry her. Pain at the knowledge that
she was going to hurt him ate at her, but she had made
her decision: she could not go through the rest of her
life living only to please others. She had to stand up
here and now and fight for herself and what she
wanted.

Her father stopped before the minister.

Paul very carefully lifted Jenny's veil. He smiled
down at her and kissed her cheek, then stepped back,
giving her into Cole's keeping.

This was the moment.

Jenny girded herself for what was to come.

She remembered Cole's vow of love when he'd
proposed to her. She wondered if he loved her enough
to forgive her for what she was going to do right now.

Reverend Ford smiled at them and asked in a quiet
voice, "Are we ready to begin?"

"No-" Jenny said in an agonized whisper.

"Jenny?" Cole said her name quickly, frowning as
he took a step toward her.

Jenny looked up at Cole and saw all his worry and
concern for her in his expression. It hurt her to do
this, but she knew she couldn't go through with the
wedding.

"I'm sorry, Cole."

"For what?"

"I can't marry you."

"What?" He was shocked.

"I'm so sorry," she said quickly, nervously, as she
backed away from the altar, "but I can't do this. I
can't get married. Not now. Not yet. I'm sorry."

Without another word, Jenny turned and fled back
down the aisle, leaving Cole speechless at the altar.

Those gathered for the celebration watched in disbelief as Jenny disappeared out the front doors of
the church. Then a rumble of talk swelled through
the crowd as the reality of what had just happened
sank in.

Jenny Sullivan had just walked out on Cole Randall!

She'd left him standing at the altar!

Cole started after Jenny. He was confused and an gry and worried about her. Something was wrong,
terribly wrong, and he needed to get to the bottom of
it. This was Jenny, the woman he'd loved for as long
as he could remember. He couldn't imagine what
could have happened to cause her to panic this way,
but he was determined to find out and put her fears
to rest. He loved her and he wanted to spend the rest
of his life with her.

A strong hand clamped down on Cole's arm, stopping him when he would have given chase.