Jerk (8 page)

“
S
hit
, Seb, did you just sneak in?” Dwayne caught me in the hallway as I shut his bedroom door, probably wondering how I knew that Kelly was in there.

“How did you know that Kelly was in my room?” he asked as he caught my arm and led me to the guest room.

“I saw Brenda on the way in,” I whispered in a voice that even I didn’t recognize.  I couldn’t believe that she’d ignored me like that.  What did I expect? I got what I deserved.

“Oh,” he said as he closed the door.  We walked into the room, and I looked out of the window.  Their drive was practically the same size as my house.  For someone who was shit rich, he really was so down to earth.  Nothing like the rich pricks at our school.

“She needs time, Seb.  You can´t expect her to just forgive you like that.”

I nodded and then I shook my head.  “I even bought her a rose.  I´ve never bought flowers before.  Took me about twenty minutes to figure out what to buy.” 

He laughed as he patted me on the back.  “For a guy that´s had so many women, you have so much to learn.” 

I scoffed, “Unlike you?”

“Look, don´t compare us. You know you can´t.  I just don´t need Kelly getting more upset right now. You need to tell her the truth. I know she´ll come around.  For some crazy reason she loves you.”

What, she loves me?

She doesn´t even know me.  She doesn´t know the darkness inside of me.

“Yep, you really gone and done it this time.  This guy is in love and…”

“She´s having my baby.” I finished the sentence for him.  She didn´t know what she was getting into.  If she did, then she would have gone and had the abortion with no questions asked. I should have told her the real reason I had the leaflet.  The real reason I knew where the clinic was; fuck, I didn´t even have to ask how much it cost.  I was such a fucking jerk.

“Dwayne,” I blurted out as I made my way to the side table, trying to avoid the one thing that was going through his mind. “I need to tell Kelly the truth.” He nodded as he came up to me.  His normally bright eyes looked tired and lifeless. I wondered if he’d slept as little as I had night.  Everything and anything was going through my mind.  Fuck, I couldn´t look in the mirror.  I only did when I got to the florist and saw a reflection of myself.  That’s when I popped home and had a quick shower, hoping that Laura and Dad wouldn´t come out and question me. 

Why would they?

I was always leaving and going out all night. It was nothing new to Dad.  At first he used to call all the time, especially when I learnt about Mom´s death.  I went crazy.  Not straight after she died, but when I learnt the truth.  He had kept it a secret from everyone.  When I found out, I went wild.  That was six months ago, and I was still acting the same way.  Everyone assumed it was her death that had done it.  Only Dwayne knew the real reason why.  Sure, I was upset when she died, but what finally broke me was the truth.  The saying is it sets you free.  No, it just fucks you up even more.

“The past is the past, Seb.  You can´t change things or try and make them better. What you can do is try and do the decent thing.  I don´t think that Kelly is the only one in love.”

I shook my head. I wasn´t capable of love. I only took.  Like the selfish prick that grew inside of me.  He told me how to behave, always whispering bad things in my head.  Telling me that I was good for nothing, flashing before me every bad thing that I had ever done and making me see that beauty was in the eye of the beholder.  Girls think I´m hot. They have no idea that what is on the outside is nothing compared to the ugliness that courses through my veins.

I didn´t know how long we were in the guest room.  Our conversations switched from things that we had done in the past to my future with Kelly.  Dwayne was a real friend.  Always trying to tell me exactly the way it was, and I could see why girls loved him.  Nothing like me at all.  He was deep, he read poetry, he fucking knew everything there was to know under the sun.  His mind was full of knowledge.  I used to be like that. It´s why we clicked as friends.  I always used to try and figure out what was new.  How far would technology take us as humans? Or would it end up being our destruction.  Now, nothing interested me.

I fucked as if it was the last time I would get my dick hard.  I did it for relief. To let go of all the tension that built inside of me.  To set the demons free.  But, it never lasted forever.  Just like when I had a few bottles.  I drank to forget, but I always woke up remembering every fucking thing that was wrong in my life.  Even at eighteen, I’d caused too much pain and hurt in my life.

Going to college meant getting away from this fucking place.  Not living in the constant reminder of everything that was wrong in my life.  Shit, even when I went to school, the cemetery was close by.   It felt as if it was in front of my eyes as I went in the damn school.  I was so fucking happy when graduation was over for many reasons.  To get out of this part of Jersey and to get the fuck away from her. Everyone thought my mom was my savior; they don´t know, apart from Dwayne, that she was the fucking devil in disguise.

“
Y
ou´re still here
?” Kelly asked as she walked into the guest room.  Dwayne and I were sitting on the bed with Brenda.  She’d stopped hiding in the kitchen when the suspense of what was going on was killing her.

Typical woman!

I didn´t know what to do.  Everyone´s eyes in the room shifted as she came in.  We forgot she was in the house.  Brenda loved listening to stories about the football team.  What us guys got up to behind closed doors.  I felt relaxed, as if she was one of the guys as I spoke.  For a brief second I felt as if I was with Kelly.  She made me feel that way too. Unlike some of the girls that I had been with, who seemed to be only after one thing. I know that we guys are not much better. But some girls, especially the ones in the cheerleader’s squad, are far worse.

“Yes.” I nodded, assuming she was speaking to me.  Then, like a gust of wind, both Dwayne and Brenda attempted to get off the bed.  Their efforts were in vain, as Brenda fell of the bed, probably because the jeans she was wearing were way too tight, especially in this heat, and she could hardly move her legs.  It reminded me of the effort it took for her to get on the bed.  She’d practically just dropped on it.  Dwayne slapped her butt, and I could hear the vibrations through the room.  Okay, so that was probably a bit of an exaggeration. 

“No, guys, don´t leave!” Kelly demanded. They stood frozen in time from her words.  I needed their support.  But, she dismissed them which brought about regret.  Shit, just say she wants nothing more to do with me?   The kind soft words she had once spoken were now lost as she stood by my side.  I sat at the edge of the bed.

“Don´t think you bringing me a rose makes up for what you did.”

Her finger was pointing at me.  And for once, I was scared.  Scared of losing her and bad about everything that I had done.

“No,” I whispered, as I knew she had more to say.

“Don´t you ever treat me like that again,” she barked.  I got up from the bed slowly and faced her.  My eyes caught both Brenda and Dwayne slowly creeping out of the room.  Well, Brenda could hardly creep, because she could barely walk.

“No,” I repeated as if I was in the principal’s office.  This time the punishment was going to be far worse than detention.  Even expulsion.

“If I give you a chance, Sebastian Reel…” Her face was red and looked as sexy as hell. I heard the door firmly shut by Brenda.  “If I—” She stopped as I pressed my lips against hers.  She didn´t hesitate in reacting to my moans.  She was freshly showered, and I could still smell the vanilla shower gel that she used. She always managed to keep the smell on her every time she used it.  I could only think that Dwayne had the same thing in his room because of Brenda.  Her hair was still a bit damp as my hand grasped it gently.  I wanted to treat her as she deserved to be treated, as the delicate flower that was having my baby.

“I´m serious,” she whispered as I lowered her on the bed.  I should have controlled myself and had a serious conversation with her, but I wasn´t feeling like that.  I had emotions coming out of me that I never knew existed.  As I traced my finger around her breast, she purred. Her nipples were not hard and erect.  I could see them right through her top.   She was blossoming in her pregnancy.  It was subtle differences that I could see, such as her tan.  It made her glow; it made her look even more stunning than she did normally, if that was even possible.

I didn´t hesitate in removing her shirt.  My lips wanted to press on her breasts, my tongue wanted to suck on her nipple.  My dick was hard—it wanted to penetrate the one woman who was tying me in knots.

“Forgive me?” I whispered as she lay half naked beneath me.  I needed her permission to seduce her, and I intended to take my time.  I rocked on top of her, waiting to set my cock free.  She whispered, “Yes.”

Her hands were digging inside my pants, trying to rescue my dick.  I jumped off her for a brief moment as I took off her shorts and she lay naked, and I hurriedly took off my shirt and pants.

“This is where it all began.” She purred as she traced her finger around my dick. 

I groaned at her touch.  It felt like so long since I had been inside of her, and I ached for her so much.  I had been fooling myself to think that I felt anything but love for her.  As I rocked inside of her and remembered the first time we had sex in this room, I couldn´t help but scream out as I came, “I fucking love you, Kelly Foster.”

I rolled off her, scared by my words. I had never said them before, and what if Dwayne was wrong? What if she didn´t love me? She slowly crept on top of me.  Her leg traced up to my limp dick as she said, “You never waited for me to come.” She kissed me seductively, touching and teasing me.  My cum had shot up her so quickly.  I always satisfied women.  Not today, I had so much emotion running inside of me.

Her breasts dangled above my chest as she hovered above me.  She purred, “I know, I know, and I love you too.”

My dick shot up like a bolt of lightning. I wanted her to ride me.  This would be the first time we made love. I was gentle with Kelly.  She bowed down a few times and kissed me.  I returned them with a smile.  For the first time in a long time, I had something to smile about, and it felt so good.

T
here was
a knock on the door.  Kelly and I were in bed, gently touching each other and talking about our future.  We even forgot that we were in Dwayne´s house until the knock got louder and Brenda blurted out, “Come on, guys, enough already. You need to come out and eat.” Like lovesick teenagers, we kissed each other and raced around the room trying to find our clothes.  Our bedroom adventure had me taking Kelly from behind.  On the floor.  Shit, she even sucked my cock.  She was so damn horny.  She said it was common in the second trimester of pregnancy, and I’d better watch out.  The only thing that came to me was fear.  I had a heavy sexual appetite, but this woman had tired me out.  When she sat on the dresser, wanting me to take her again, I couldn´t perform. Imagine, I had to use both my tongue and fingers, hoping that she would come.  She did eventually, but it was hard work.

 “Ready?” she asked as she went to open the door. 

I nodded. “Damn, that was quick.”

She opened the door saying, “She´s right. I´m hungry.  You took all my energy.” I looked around the room, wondering if she was talking to someone else, because it felt like the other way around.  She had nearly sucked me dry I had cum so many times in only two hours.  I didn´t even think it was possible and she’d still wanted more after all that.  I hoped the baby came soon or that she’d get really big and couldn’t have any more sex. Because I certainly wouldn´t last four more months of this.

“I don´t suppose you guys have decided what you want to do by any chance?” Brenda hugged her friend as she entered the hallway. 

Kelly sighed and I said, “I want to do the right thing.  The one thing I should have done a long time ago.”

They both sighed, “Ahh,” and I felt that something had taken a hold of me, and the light was finally shining and the darkness no longer appeared.

We joined Brenda and Dwayne in the kitchen.  They were both proud of how we´d turned around and were coming together.  Brenda had been worried that Kelly would be stubborn and try and play hard to get.  She feared that we would only think about our needs and not our child´s.  She was already planning the baby shower.  Dwayne was quiet.  He knew there was more to the story and that we had to take it one step at a time.  We couldn´t really talk about what was going on in his mind.  I had a feeling, because he was quiet as he made sandwiches for Kelly like running water. 

The only thing I thought was, good, that means less sex for me.  She would be full and hopefully unable to move.  The way she was riding my dick earlier, I was scared it was going to drop off.

We left Dwayne´s in separate cars and headed back home.  Kelly had borrowed her mom´s car and I had mine.  We waved once in a while as we stopped at the lights.  The nerves that were in me at the idea of confessing that I was the father had gone away, as the only thing I had to look forward to being in Kelly´s life.  That was until I got home and saw Dad on the porch.  Laura looked frantic as Kelly pulled up, and she hugged her in her arms.  I got worried, wondering what was going on.

“You selfish prick,” Dad blurted out as I stopped the car.  He opened my door and then practically dragged me out of the car into the house.  Or maybe he wanted to punch me like he did that night, when I found out the truth.

“Not here,” Laura whispered as the nosey neighbors came out of their house, trying to figure out the commotion.  I hated living here. Everyone was so damn nosey.

He dragged me into the house, and I stood in the living room, confused. My eyes darted to Kelly to try and figure out what was going on.  I could tell she was as confused as I was, “What is it?” I barked, as it was clear that my dad was mad, and I could only assume he knew.

“You let Kelly tell us some cock and bull story about some Roger being the dad, and it was you all along.”

Laura was sitting with Kelly on the sofa, rocking her as if she was a baby. Calming her down. “You don´t need to worry, we´re not mad with you.”

Kelly shook her head.  “No, this is why we came today. To tell you both the truth.”

Dad lifted up his hand. “What does he know about the word truth? I bet he can´t even spell it.”

I stood in front of him, I was so fucking angry, and I just let it out. “And this is the reason your last wife killed herself.  Cause she couldn´t handle the truth!” A blow fell on my face as he punched me and then he stood facing Laura, who had her mouth wide open.  Kelly came to my side on the floor.  Words seemed to escape her, as she was concerned about my welfare.

“So, he didn´t tell you.  Mom killed herself. He told people that she was hit by some drunk driver so no one knew what really happened.”

Dad darted his eyes at me as if I was the scum of the earth. He hated me and wanted to kill me.  “You good for nothing….” He trailed off and then he faced Laura.

“Why did you not tell me this before?” she questioned as she looked at him.  “What kind of monster are you, hitting your son?”  Dad couldn´t answer, he just stared at her, waiting for something to happen.  Meanwhile Kelly was running to the kitchen to get some ice or something for my eye.  He had punched me pretty bad. 

Dad said nothing, and Laura just ran out of the house.  Everything got too much for her.  Now, she knew how I felt when I found out the facts.  Every year, I had been mourning my mom. Telling myself that some bastard got life for running her over, but it was never the reality.  She had jumped in front of the car.  The guy happened to be drunk and got sent away.  Dad never told the police the real reason, he hid it.  The truth behind mom´s death was his secret.  How did he know?  Because mom left a note.  I found it, and when I confronted him, he hit me the same way he just had.  He made me feel sick.  He still did, and I didn’t even know why we were still living in the same house.

He read that note every year on her birthday.  One day I happened to come home from practice and found it on his desk.  That was when I found out what he had done.  That was when I not only started hating him, I ended up feeling the same way about her.