#Jerk (17 page)

“Me too. Must be the heat in the room.”

“Maybe. Thank God it wasn’t real.”

It’s the last thing I mumble before we exit the room and head back to reality.

I
was quiet the entire flight home, trying my damn hardest to ignore a dream that felt entirely real. Luckily, we weren’t sitting together; the overweight man next to me and his body odor were more pleasing than the Jerk himself.

At the airport, it was an obligatory goodbye before we parted our ways.

I made it my priority upon our return to attend the paternity test. It was the only communication we had, and even then, it was short and to the point. Soon he would have the answer he so desperately craved, and maybe luck would be on both our sides and it would be Jason’s. Yes, I was that fucked up that I prayed for the easier way out of this whole mess.

Days passed without us talking at work or even via text, and after a week, I let it all go. Whatever bond, friendship, or connection we had over that weekend had passed. It was strictly business, and even then he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I wasn’t sure what I did wrong; after all, he was the one who invaded my dreams and gave me the best sex of my life.

Distracting myself came easy when I focused my energy on moving into Kate’s. Boxes were all packed and ready to go, neatly organized into categories, color-coded, and alphabetically in order. I placed the remaining boxes into storage along with some furniture till I could figure out my next move. The apartments were overpriced in the city, and while we got top dollar for ours, I had a child to think about. A whole new life I had to worry about for at least eighteen years.

It begged the question of whether or not I would settle down in the city. I did have a job to think about, but was certain I could pick one up on the west coast. I also took the liberty of researching my rights as the primary parent, and whether or not I could make a decision like that.

Still in my second trimester, what I thought would be a walk in the park was turning out to be more like a trip down Agony Lane. My ankles (or should I say cankles) disappeared, along with my waistline. The only thing that kept me sane was Kate. She was a hell of a lot of fun, told ridiculous stories about herself and her wild friends, plus she was a great listener.

“So did the Jerk speak to you today?” she asks, biting into a stick of celery.

“Yes. But it was only to ask me where we kept the scissors in the stationary room. Trust me, it was as formal as any stationary room exchange could be.”

“Then you didn’t tell him about the scan next week? Presley, I can come if you need me,” she offers.

I have learned a very important thing about Kate; she is a great friend. Not only does she listen to me complain about the Jerk for countless hours, she is willing to rearrange her schedule to attend my appointment with me. In all fairness, I spent countless hours listening to the drama unfold with her secret lover. The thing I didn’t get about the whole situation was why Kate allowed herself to be manipulated by this pathetic excuse of a man. She is gorgeous and tall with an athletic build. Her shimmering blonde hair is cut just below her chin, perfectly straightened like she just stepped out of a salon. She has these cute freckles that spread across her cheeks and nose, covering her pale British skin. Plus she has this cheeky smile, with a dimple on the left side of her face.

Yet something about this man, the power he held, or the fact that he was some secret underground boss, drew her in to the point that she was under his bewitching spell and couldn’t break free.

“I promise I’ll tell him, and thanks for the offer.”

“We have sucky love lives,” she complains, sinking into the couch with the remote.

“Yep, we sure do. What’s the latest on your secret mystery man?”

She lets out a huge sigh. “Nothing. I texted him and asked him if he wanted to have dinner tonight and he never responded.”

“So then why didn’t you call him?”

“Because he made it clear that he doesn’t date. He doesn’t do relationships. I was just hoping he might change for me.”

“Are you sure he isn’t gay, Kate?”

“Maybe. Who knows? He only wants to screw me from behind so what the hell does that mean? He is gay or he doesn’t like my face.”

I give her a sympathetic smile. “Why are you still hung up on him? You can have any guy, Kate. He sounds so—”

“Uninterested?”

I simply nod.

“Because, Presley, the way he makes me feel. Even though he acts that way, when we’re alone I feel so empowered. He teaches my body to do things I’ve never experienced, and sexually, he takes me to a level that is beyond words.”

I can hear it in her voice; it’s not love as such, but an uncanny connection to someone who’s unattainable.

The next day at work, I decide I need to ask the Jerk about the ultrasound. Somehow I chicken out again. So I text him from my desk to his, and throw in the invitation to a last-minute farewell lunch for Clive.
Because that’s mature.

I have an ultrasound on Monday at 9am. You’re welcome to come.

Oh, and there is a farewell lunch for Clive today at the diner round the corner. You’re welcome to come to that too if you wanna bang.

I hear him chatting away to another colleague and don’t expect it when my cell beeps instantly.

Sure why not. And about the bang part…gladly, if you’re offering.

Huh? I scroll back up to my text. Oh fucking hell! Stupid fat pregnancy fingers. Great, now his idiotic man brain is probably playing porn music in the background already.

Hang! I meant hang!! #duck

I meant #FUCK

The bubble appears and I throw my head down in shame. Serves me right.

Wait, are you still offering?

I respond at a very slow pace, checking all my words before I hit send.

Round two. I’m not offering. HANG out with us if you want. #damnautocorrect #jerk

I hit send and jump when I see him standing beside me with a grin on his bearded face. I hadn’t paid close enough attention to see that he had grown it out until now.

“What’s with the beehive, Jerk?”

He rubs his beard which makes a scratching sound. “Just something new I’m trying out.”

“If it makes you feel better, you look like Bigfoot.” I turn back around abruptly.

“Actually, that does make me feel better.”

He continues to linger, making me feel very uncomfortable.

“So, are you over your little drama now?” he chastises.

“What drama?”

“The drama that made you ignore me from the moment you woke up at the hotel.”

What excuse could I come up with that was plausible? Think, Kitty! This is all your fault anyway!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you must be talking about yourself,” I say, in a clear and nonchalant tone.

He lets out a loose chuckle, scratching his scruff again.
“Women.”

It’s the last thing he says before walking back to his desk.

Clive’s last-minute lunch got canceled, and thankfully, it gave me an excuse to avoid the Jerk until Monday. Friday has officially become my favorite day for two reasons. One, I can wear my unattractive muumuu at night and stay indoors, and two, I don’t have to see the Jerk, which means I can stop thinking about how that beard would feel brushing against my thighs.

As soon as I walk through the door on Friday night, I’m surprised to see Kate already home. She tells me to quickly get dressed because we are going out to dinner with her boss. I only agree because she said the restaurant makes the best enchiladas in the city.

“Lex!” Kate yells amid the small crowd sitting in the restaurant.

Her boss, Lex, is no doubt one of
the
most gorgeous men I have ever seen. Dressed in a crisp navy suit and white linen shirt, he stands up and opens his arms to hug Kate. His eyes are like...
emeralds
. And wow, he is all types of beautiful.

“Lex, this is my roommate, Presley Malone,” Kate introduces, taking a seat at the small, round table.

He reaches out his hand and shakes mine, and when I pull back, I notice the white gold band on his wedding finger. I remember now how Kate told me he was married with kids. Go figure; the good ones are always taken.

“Nice to meet you, Presley. Kate’s told me a lot about you.” He pulls out the chair beside him and I take a seat, giving him a nod in thanks.

“And vice versa. So Kate has raved on about these enchiladas and I’d like to point out that I’m eating for two, so no judgment from either of you.”

Lex laughs as he scours the menu. “My wife used to always say that. It’s how she justified ordering the whole menu.”

“Oh that’s right, Kate mentioned you had three daughters.” I smile.

Kate’s face lights up immediately. “Yes, three of the most beautiful girls to ever exist!”

He is quick to scowl, but follows it with a warm smile. “That’s what she says, but Kate hasn’t experienced Addison during her teething stage.”

“Don’t scare her, Lex,” Kate scolds.

“No, scare me. I think I’m too naïve and I want to expect the worse, that way I’m not in for too much of a shock.”

It’s nice to finally chat to another parent because no matter how many textbooks I read, experience can only be told from those that are wise because they’ve gone through it. Lex enjoys talking about his family, and I enjoy hearing his stories.

“My oldest daughter Amelia is the tomboy. She’s always getting into mischief. Broken limbs, jumping off things…but she’s settling down a bit now that she’s almost five.” He raises a Corona to his lips and takes a long drink before continuing. “Ava is my quiet princess. She’s happy to just sit quietly and observe others. Never causes trouble. Sometimes she’ll just sit in a room and you’ll have no idea she’s there.”

“I need a baby like that.” I sigh.

“And Addison is…” He trails off wistfully

Kate finishes his sentence. “Lex and Charlie’s surprise baby.”

“Technically, they were all surprise babies,” he adds.

“I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again. It’s because you don’t keep your hands off your missus. And the two of you combined are like some baby-making factory.” Kate laughs.

Lex doesn’t appear offended, and instead laughs along with Kate as if it’s a longstanding joke between the two of them. They appear to be relaxed in each other’s company. Kate told me about how things used to be different. That Lex was one of those horrible bosses up until he ran into the love of his life. It was such a romantic story; they were high school/college sweethearts that broke up years ago, then fate stepped in when they coincidentally ran into each other at a restaurant one day. She told me about how everything about him changed the moment his love walked backed into his life, but not without drama, of course. Kate now considered them family, and I could see just by sitting here how true that was.

“Three girls is a lot. How did your wife cope with being pregnant three times? It’s hard enough this once.”

“She enjoys it, but towards the end she’s a bit of a hormonal demon,” he adds.

With a mouthful of food, Kate is quick to admonish him. “How dare you say that about my best friend!”

“You were the one that called her that,” Lex points out.

“
Oh right
. Yes I did.”

Hearing these stories brings to the surface my unresolved feelings about the whole situation. I force myself to be strong, independent, and rely on no one but myself. I am going to be a single mom, whether I like it or not. I will have to raise this child for the rest of my life, and make decisions that will either be wrong or right. Haden will eventually start his own family with Eloise and this child will become less important to him. I will be both the mom and the dad when that time comes. I’ll be doing it all alone.             

Lost in these thoughts, I blurt out, “I don’t know how I’m going to be a single mom.”

With a sympathetic smile, Kate moves her hand and places it on top of mine.

Lex puts his fork down and clears his throat. “If I’m getting too personal, tell me to back off. The dad’s not around?”

“He’s around. It’s just...this was a one night stand with a work colleague. He’s now engaged. It’s just not your normal relationship,” I admit wholeheartedly.