Jess Michaels (19 page)

When he finally reached her nipples, he cupped her breasts, lifting, gently pressing them together. She moaned a needy, incoherent sound as she flopped her head back. He licked lazily across the swell, moving toward her nipples, but never quite suckling them. With every teasing graze of his tongue, Cassandra’s moans intensified, her head thrashed back and
forth, and her fingers clenched against the table behind her.

“Please,” she finally moaned, lifting her head to look at him. “Please, please Nathan.”

He could hardly resist her begging. Keeping his gaze locked with hers, he smoothed his lips over her nipple and sucked. She bucked against him with a groan. Her body was shaking, rattling the dishes on the table behind her. She was so close to release. So close that he could scent her arousal.

He pushed her skirts up with one hand, utterly lacking in finesse but filled with undeniable passion. He cupped her smooth skin, sliding his hand up until he found the wet folds of her pussy. As he sucked at her turgid nipple, he spread her outer lips and ground his thumb down over the harsh ridge of her already aroused clit.

She exploded, wet heat flowing over his fingers, her body slamming against his as she rode out a powerful orgasm. He throbbed as he watched her find her pleasure, his cock hard enough to pound nails if he so desired.

But he wasn’t going to take her yet, no matter how much he wanted to. No, this joining was about her. Making her come. Making her remember that she needed him. First physically, then emotionally. He wanted to open her to him in every way that was important.

If he wanted a chance to be with her—to love her—for more than just this one day, that was the only way.

Her body quivered a few more times and then she went limp against him. He held her for a few moments, smoothing her auburn hair and rubbing his hands down her spine.

Finally, she lifted her chin and smiled at him. “The things you do to me, Nathan Manning…”

He grinned in return. “And I’m not finished yet.”

Her eyes went wide, but before she could reply, he dropped to his knees before her. Perched on the edge of the breakfast table with her skirts already piled up around her hips and her legs spread from his fingers, she was in perfect position.

“Nathan,” she said, her tone a question and a warning at once.

He ignored her plea and instead grabbed for the chocolate croissant that she had left, half eaten from her breakfast. The rocking of her hips had knocked the pastry to the edge of the table. He gave her a wicked smile.

“You are already sweet, Cass,” he said, swirling his finger through the melted chocolate and coating the digit. “But I want you sweeter.”

Cassandra gasped as Nathan shouldered his way between her legs. When he stroked his chocolaty finger across her already soaked slit, her quim quivered. God, he felt so good. Her clit was still swollen and achy, her sheath still clenching in tiny earthquakes from the prior release. Just the faintest touch, just the idea that he was coating her with sweet chocolate to make her a tasty treat, was enough to make her clench and sigh with pleasure.

He looked up and her sigh turned to a moan. What a wicked picture he made, kneeling between her spread thighs, smoothing his finger back and forth across her pussy like a painter
with his masterpiece. He lifted it to his mouth and touched his tongue to the tip.

“Delicious,” he murmured. “Want to try it?”

She nodded, mesmerized by his seductive voice. He lifted his hand and she let him trace her lips before she sucked his finger into her mouth. She laved her tongue around him, pretending it was his cock as she licked the earthly mixture of chocolate and her juices away.

Reluctantly, he pulled his finger away with a low moan. “Fight fair, sweet. I’m not finished with you yet; don’t make me think of things you can’t have.”

“I could have them if I wanted,” she said, arching back and letting him get a good look at her bare breasts, her spread legs. He shivered, and triumph filled her.

“You could, but you won’t,” he chuckled before he lowered his head and she felt him suck her clit into his mouth.

She bucked at the focused, hard pressure. He swirled his tongue around her, licking her clean, tormenting her beyond measure and reason. She let go of the edge of the table and glided her fingers into his hair. He laughed against her slit as she angled him closer, but he didn’t resist her silent orders and drove his tongue deeper inside her clenching body. Her hips ground against him, pushing him further inside, milking him as he teased and toyed with her pussy.

And then, the world went silent, all her focus going to the sweet spot between her legs. To his tongue, to the way his fingers dug into her thighs as he held her steady. Pleasure spi
raled up, hot and wicked, and she quivered out of control with an orgasm so powerful that she couldn’t focus on anything but the pleasure.

He licked at her through every shiver, every moment of release, dragging the ecstasy out until she could hardly bear it. She was weak with it, spent as she sagged against the table and his shoulders.

Nathan stood slowly, remaining wedged between her thighs. She whimpered when he gently slid her arms away, but the sound faded when he began to divest himself of his clothing with silent determination. His shirt fell away, revealing his tanned chest, lightly peppered with a little hair across the broad muscles.

His trousers went next, sliding away from toned, narrow hips into a pile, which he kicked away. His cock was hard, swollen, and curved against his flat abdomen.

“You said I did things to you,” he panted, stepping back into position against her. She groaned as his cock rubbed her belly. “But feel what you do to me.”

She didn’t have to be asked twice. Still watching his face, she gripped his cock, stroking it from base to head in a smooth motion. His eyelids fluttered shut and she almost crowed in triumph. How she loved moving him, bringing him pleasure. It had always been her favorite pastime.

And even if this encounter between them was just fantasy, she had no intention of halting it. Not when he was so close. Not when she could have a final taste of passion and pleasure unlike any she’d ever known.

She cupped the back of his neck with her free hand and tugged until their foreheads touched. Their breath mingled and moved in time as she stroked him over and over.

“More,” he groaned, and suddenly he was edging closer, lifting her ever so slightly to position himself against her ready opening.

With a gasp that she wasn’t sure was her own or his, he slid home deep within her body. She clung to him, their heads still touching, their eyes locked. She readied for him to move, but he didn’t. He only held inside her, filling her and
feeling
her.

“You are mine, Cassandra Willows,” he whispered. “Say that you are mine.”

She shook her head. “It’s not fair.”

“Say it anyway,” he murmured and flexed inside of her.

She groaned and nodded. “I’m yours. You are mine.”

He smiled and thrust gently. They held each other close, keeping their eyes locked. She slipped her hands through his hair and watched his pupils dilate, hold hers with that startling intensity that had always unnerved her.

Now, watching him while he took her was a whole new experience. Far more intense. Far more meaningful. They rocked together at first lazy and slow, but as their pelvises ground against each other, as her clit rubbed against him perfectly, her excitement grew. Their hips met faster, their bodies thrust with more purpose. The pleasure mounted deep within her, with tingles starting just at her clit and slowly spreading with warm pleasure throughout her body.

Nathan felt her orgasm approaching when her spine stiff
ened. She arched up with a cry and shuddered through a third orgasm. He held her steady, his mouth still close to hers without kissing her, his fingers cupping her hips as he thrust and retreated, over and over. He wanted to make the moment last, to lengthen the sweet torment.

But her cries and jerky movements affected him. He swelled inside her, his driving hips moving more urgently and out of control. It was a war he couldn’t win, so with a guttural cry, he came within her, slamming her against the table’s edge with every final thrust and finally relaxing against her with a moan of completion.

For a long time they stayed that way. Although their bodies were still joined, Nathan felt Cassandra drifting away from him. Fading back to that place where she could say that this moment was just a fleeting weakness, not something that could last forever.

He had to get her back.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered, resting her forehead on his shoulder as she clung to him.

“No,” he agreed, nuzzling the side of her neck until she shivered delicately. “You see, I promised myself I wouldn’t make love to you again until you were my wife.”

She stiffened and for a long moment she didn’t move. But finally, almost reluctantly, she lifted her face and stared at him.

“Your wife?” she repeated on what could hardly be called a whisper.

He nodded, though his heart was throbbing so fast and strong that he feared he might lose consciousness. “I didn’t
come here to talk to you about the past, you see. We needed to do that, of course, but that wasn’t my motive. And it wasn’t to make love to you on your breakfast table, as spectacular an experience as that was. I came here to tell you that I want to marry you. Still. Always. If you will have me. Will you have me, Cassandra?”

I
f Cassandra hadn’t been so utterly aware of every minute thing around her, she might have thought this was a dream. After all, she had visited this very moment while sleeping a dozen times or more. It was all so familiar—Nathan returning to her, him still wanting to be her husband, even though so much had happened. In her dreams, she fell into his arms and they lived happily ever after.

But that was a fantasy! Something that she could wish for, but never have. There were too many obstacles for it to work. Too much history.

She shook her head, though it was difficult to do so. “You know I cannot,” she whispered, shifting so their bodies separated and lowering her feet to the floor. She pressed her hands against his warm chest gently. “
You
cannot.”

“I just did,” he reminded her, seemingly not put off at all by her refusal. In fact, he was smiling at her, indulgent, as though he knew convincing her would only be a matter of time.

She feared he might be right.

“This is a daydream, Nathan,” she sighed, smoothing her wrinkled skirt back down over her hips and trying to untwist the bodice so she could slip her arms into the sleeves. “Nothing more than fancy after the heat of making love. There are too many things between us.”

“The past?” he asked, his tanned face losing some of its color as he watched her dress.

She fastened her buttons with clumsy fingers. “Yes, but not in the way you believe. As I said, I made peace with everything that happened to me. I refused to let what happened to me rule my life. That was why I took your father’s money, that was why I came to London and began my business. It’s why I became the mistress of those men. All those things gave me control over my life. And they helped me to remember that a man’s touch could be good.”

Nathan shook his head. “In some strange way, I thank those men for giving you that gift, but damn it, Cass, it should have been me.”

She took his hand briefly. “Regrets are dangerous things, Nathan. We shouldn’t live with them, they will destroy us. Here is what we shall do. First, you will forgive yourself for the actions that
other people
took without your knowledge or your blessing.”

He sighed, but she could see her words had an effect. And
perhaps that was all she could give him. It had to be enough.

“Next,” she continued, “we will celebrate the fact that regardless of the circumstances, we were brought back together in London. And I do not regret anything about the passion we shared.”

Even falling in love, though she couldn’t say that out loud, for it would only encourage his reckless folly in asking her to marry him again. If he did that too many times, she might succumb to her weakness and agree.

“Nothing?” he asked, grabbing his trousers from the floor and stepping into them.

He didn’t fasten them, so they hung low on his hips. Her mouth went dry as she looked at him, his dark hair tousled from her fingers. His lips were red and swollen from kissing her all over. There was a thin sheen of sweat on his muscles. He looked good enough to eat. Good enough to love for the rest of her life.

She forced herself to look away as she fixed her hair in the mirror across the room.

“I regret nothing, it costs too much,” she repeated with difficulty. “But that changes nothing. So the last thing we shall do is…”

She turned back. He deserved to be faced when she said this, no matter how hard it was to do it.

“We shall realize that this is not something we can continue.”

He opened his mouth, but she held up her hand and he shut it.

“Nathan, you must see all the obstacles that separate us. Your parents’ continued disapproval will always be an issue, and then there is the detail of our insurmountable variance in social and financial status. The fact that I am in
trade
alone will cause problems that you may not have considered.”

“I have thought about this far more than you give me credit for,” he said quietly.

She shook her head with a little shiver. “If you have, then you must know it could never work. When I agreed to marry you all those years ago, I was young and naïve. I believed we could overcome any resistance to our love. That somehow we could convince the world that it was good and right. But I have been on the edge of your Society for many years now. I have seen them eat their
own
alive for some minor transgression. They will never accept me. It would be a nightmare for us, as well as any children we might bring into the world.”

To her surprise, Nathan’s face broke into a wide, faraway smile. She frowned.

“The idea of the torment makes you happy?”

He shook his head, coming back to her. “No, of course not. But I was just picturing the beautiful children you and I would create. Picturing you as a mother.”

Tears stung at Cassandra’s eyes. Once she had glorious dreams about bearing this man’s sons and daughters. She had been able to picture those children so clearly that they were almost real to her. Over time, she had tried to forget that, but now her own words had forced her to remember.

“You could be the mother of my child right now,” he whis
pered in that coaxing tone before he came forward and pressed a hand to the low curve of her belly. “We have not been careful every time. Including today.”

She shivered and tried to tamp down the joy that accompanied that observation. “Was that by design? To force my hand?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. When I started my blackmail, I had every intention of being very careful when I made love to you. I was so angry, so misguided and stupid, that I wanted to pretend that I could have you without forging a bond. That in the end, I could discard you as I believed you had discarded me all those years ago.”

He slid his hand up the apex of her body. She shivered when his palm glided between the valley of her breasts before he settled it against her cheek.

“But I think in my heart, I knew what would really happen.”

“What?” she whispered.

He smiled. That knowing, certain smile that thrilled and terrified her all at once. “That I would fall in love with you.”

Her eyes fluttered shut. Those were the most beautiful words in the world coming from the lips of the man she wanted to say them most. But for the good of them both, she was still driven to deny their power.

“But is it love, Nathan?”

He nodded. “You have every reason to doubt that. What you said, what my father said…you were both right. All those years ago, I turned away from you so quickly, so easily, it wasn’t love that moved me. Not lasting love. But I’m not
the same man that I was before, Cass. When you told me you wanted Undercliffe, I didn’t believe you. I knew in my heart that you wouldn’t betray me. I found the faith I lacked as a stupid, spoiled boy.”

“Oh, Nathan,” she breathed. Her walls were crumbling swiftly now and she fought to keep them up.

He made it more difficult by grasping her hands. “I lost you before. And it wasn’t because you didn’t show up the night of our rendezvous. It wasn’t because of my father’s machinations.
I
lost you through my actions.
My
failures. But you must know that the moment I saw you again in my aunt’s house in London, I knew somewhere deep inside that I couldn’t go a day without touching you. And I still can’t. And not just touching you, but being with you. Near you. Seeing you smile. Making you laugh.”

“But—”

Now it was he who interrupted her with a raised hand. “I know all the things you said to me, all those obstacles you listed…they are true. Society is fickle. They could easily see our love as some kind of fairytale, but it is more likely they will see it as a scandal. We won’t be invited places. And, yes, our children may very well struggle because of our choices. But you told me not a moment ago that you wouldn’t let the past rule your life. Are you willing to throw away the love I know you feel for me because of a
future
that may or may not come to pass?”

Cassandra drew back, looking up at him with wide eyes. He was making sense, too much sense. When he threw her own
vows back at her, when he admitted his wrongdoings and responsibility, it made her believe in whatever he said.

It made her believe in him.

He looked at her. “You love me. And I love you. I see how you have overcome the past and I am so proud to love a woman who is so strong. But don’t push your regrets into the future. I think we both know that anything can happen, for good or for bad. And I’m not willing to lose you again…not because of things that
might
happen. Are you? Are you truly?”

Her tears were becoming too strong to just blink away so Cassandra let them fall, sliding down her cheeks in hot trails as she stared at this man who held her so gently, so lovingly.

“No,” she whispered.

He laughed, though the sound was slightly strained. “Is that a no, you don’t want to throw away love. Or no, you still won’t marry me.”

“I—I don’t want to throw away love,” she whispered and as she said it, a great joy filled her. A relief. Her fears faded away and all that was left was happiness and light.

His hands tightened on her and his smile widened. In that moment, she saw the boy she had once loved. But she also saw the man she loved now. The one who had changed and grown in the time that had separated them. And though she couldn’t be happy for those circumstances, perhaps that was the gift they had given her.

They were different people now. Wiser. Better suited. More willing to compromise and grow together.

“So, you will marry me?” he whispered.

She nodded. “I will marry you.”

He let out a shout of joy before his mouth came down on hers. She clung to him, reveling in his love and in the love she returned to him. When he pulled away, she leaned in, wanting more.

“Will you run away with me right now to Gretna Green?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. “And then come with me to India?”

Her eyes widened. “Gretna Green? India!”

“I want to be with you
now
. Forget what my family thinks, forget what anyone else says. I don’t give a fuck. I want to be with you. And I want to show you India, Cass. I want you to see all the things I wished I could show you when I was there. Please.”

She nodded. How could she refuse?

“Gretna Green and India it is,” she laughed, moving to go to the door. “I shall have my things packed straight away.”

But before she could go, he pulled her back, wrapping her in his arms. “Wait, there is one more thing I want.”

She smiled. “And what is that, my lord?”

“I’m still hungry. What say we make good work of those strawberries there?” he whispered, his voice low and seductive against her ear.

She tilted her face and kissed him as her answer. And as he guided her back to the table, she couldn’t help but surrender everything she had and everything she was to the love of her life.