Jezebel (11 page)

Mary Ellen laughed. “What did Cynthia do now?”

Jessie Belle gave her friend a revised version of what was going on between her and Cynthia.

“I'm shocked. I knew that Cynthia messed around with married men, but I didn't think she'd go this far,” Mary Ellen stated. “She's really trying to mess you up, huh?”

Jessie Belle nodded. “I'm not the one, though.”

“I don't blame you. She's gone way too far with this. That's so wrong of her to go to Traynor with a bunch of lies like that.”

“I'ma trip her up in her own game,” Jessie Belle stated.

“I know you mad 'cause you done stopped talking all proper.”

She and Jessie Belle laughed.

“Cynthia's gonna wish she never met me, Mary Ellen, when I'm done with her.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I'ma make sure Traynor sees her for the strumpet that she is. Trust me on that.”

J
essie Belle looked upset when Traynor arrived home.

Normally she greeted him with a kiss and a smile, but today was different. He didn't know if it was due to morning sickness or if she was just in one of her moods. Since the pregnancy, she went through bouts of moodiness.

He knew something wasn't right when he found that dinner hadn't been prepared.

Traynor wasn't bothered by it. This was the first time since their marriage that his wife hadn't bothered to cook a meal.

He strolled into the living room, where she lay on the sofa. “Sweetheart, would you like for me to fix something for you?”

Jessie Belle shook her head no. “I'm not hungry, Traynor.”

He sat down beside her. “You okay?”

She nodded, then sat up slowly.

Putting her hands to her face, Jessie Belle wiped her eyes. “Actually, honey, I need to tell you something.”

Her eyes met his. “Traynor, I really hate to bother you with this, but I've been receiving phone calls from Cynthia all day. She wants you for herself and she told me that she'll do anything to break us up. Cynthia was even bragging about how she was able to convince you that Atkinson and I were having an affair.”

He was speechless. Traynor had trouble digesting what he was hearing. Cynthia had seemed like a nice enough girl. He couldn't believe that she was putting on an act the other day when she came to his office all upset.

Shaking her head, Jessie Belle added, “Traynor, we really need to pray for that woman. She's getting out of control.”

Traynor was furious. “I can't believe she's being so immature.”

“She wants you, honey. From the moment she laid eyes on you, Cynthia actually thought that she had a chance with you, but then you traveled to Mayville and met me. She told me all this. She said that I didn't figure in her plans.”

He shook his head in disgust. “It's a shame before the Lord to act like this. I never gave her any indication or cause to think I'd be interested in her.”

“Honey, it's not your fault. I told you, Traynor. She needs prayer.”

“Jessie Belle, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.”

“It'll be alright,” she assured him. “If Cynthia continues the harassment, though—we should really try to find a new church.”

Traynor had to consider that she might be right.

Jessie Belle was just a tiny bit surprised to see Cynthia at the church on Sunday. She'd hoped that she'd scared her away.

She found Cynthia in the choir room and confronted her.

“What are you doing here?” Jessie Belle demanded. “I can't believe you actually had the nerve to show your face around here after everything you've done.”

“Why not?” Cynthia asked. “I'm still a member here and I haven't done anything wrong.”

“I had hoped you'd have the good sense to find a new church home. We don't want people like you here at Ninth Street Baptist Church.”

Cynthia's expression soured. “This was my church long before you ever set foot in Atlanta,” she snapped. “I grew up in this church.”

Jessie Belle dismissed her words with a wave of her hand. “I really don't care about all that. Cynthia, I don't think you're hearing me. I'm not going to let you or anyone ruin what I have with my husband. You crossed the line when you went to Traynor with your lies.”

Folding her arms across her chest, Cynthia stated, “I'm not buying your innocent act, Jessie Belle. Besides, Atkinson and I had a nice long talk.”

“I don't care who you talked to—Atkinson Bradford is a fool.” Jessie Belle saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

It was Traynor.

She decided to take this a step further. If Cynthia wanted a war—she just got one. Speaking loud, Jessie Belle stated, “I know you're after my husband, but you're not going to get him, Cynthia.”

“He deserves better than you, that's for sure.”

“And you think it's you?”

“Yeah…I do,” Cynthia confessed. “I don't know where he found you, but he should've left you there. You're nothing but trash.”

Now for the finale.

Jessie Belle suddenly doubled over, moaning.

“What's wrong with you?” Cynthia asked.

Traynor blew past her, reaching for Jessie Belle. “Cynthia, that's enough,” he said. “You're out of line speaking to my wife this way.”

“The baby…,” Jessie Belle said between gasps. She took pleasure in Cynthia's ashen pallor.

“Baby?
She's pregnant?
”

He ignored Cynthia, much to Jessie Belle's delight.

“Let's get you to the hospital,” Traynor stated.

“Honey, it hurts so b-bad.”

Church members were beginning to gather around them, trying to find out what was going on. Jessie Belle hid her face in Traynor's blazer to keep from laughing; the look on Cynthia's face was so comical.

“I didn't know,” she kept muttering over and over. “Oh Lord, I had no idea she was pregnant. I didn't know.”

“Would it have mattered?” he demanded. “Why are you trying to hurt my wife with your lies? What did Jessie Belle ever do to you?”

Tears swelled up in Cynthia's eyes and spilled. “Pastor Deveraux, I…”

“I really don't care to hear anything you have to say right now. Just leave us alone.”

Jessie Belle would've cheered if she weren't pretending to be in pain. The church members were gonna have a field day with this. Surely her husband would be ready to leave Atlanta now.

Traynor picked her up and carried her to the car.

She could see Cynthia watching them from one of the windows in the church hall.

The fool
.

Jessie Belle continued her ruse through the examination. The doctor assured her that the baby was healthy and he could find nothing wrong. He did, however, caution Traynor to keep the pregnancy as stress free as possible.

They left the hospital two hours later.

“I'm so glad the baby's okay,” Jessie Belle stated. “I was so scared. I guess the doctor was right—I'm under a lot of stress.”

“I can't believe that woman…,” Traynor uttered. “Because of her, we could've lost our child.”

“I don't know how I can show my face at church again. I'm so embarrassed. You know they're talking about what happened. I just know it. Honey, you don't need this type of scandal. This is just wrong.”

“I'll figure something out,” he assured her. “But, Jessie Belle, remember…we did nothing wrong. We shouldn't have to hang our heads in shame.”

This was not the response she was after. Atkinson and Cynthia were trouble—she could smell it.

Jessie Belle wanted to leave Atlanta.

She just had to find a way to convince Traynor.

Traynor walked out of the bathroom wearing a robe over a pair of silk pajamas. “I was thinking that maybe I should try and talk some sense into Cynthia.”

“Talk to her about what?” Jessie Belle questioned, irked by Traynor's calm manner. “She's going to deny it, Traynor. I don't want you talking to that woman—Cynthia's crazy.”

He sat down on the edge of the king-sized bed. “Ninth Street Baptist really doesn't need anything like this, Jessie Belle. Stuff like this can tear down a church.”

Jessie Belle's lips puckered in annoyance. “
We
don't need this, Traynor,” she interjected. “All this foolishness is wearing on my nerves.”

Placing a hand on her stomach, Jessie Belle said, “I'm pregnant—I don't need Cynthia running around town trying to ruin my life just because she can't keep a rein on Atkinson or these feelings she has for you.”

She doubled over in pain.

Only this time, it was for real. Sheer fright swept through Jessie Belle.

Traynor was instantly at her side, asking, “Honey, what's wrong?”

“I don't know,” she uttered between gasps of pain. “I guess it's all this stress I've been under. Traynor, something's wrong—I can feel it. Take me to the hospital right now…. Please hurry.”

He helped her down the stairs, out of the house and into the car.

Traynor broke the speed limit, rushing to get her to the hospital. He could hear Jessie Belle praying for the life of their child.

“Dear Lord, please let my baby be okay,” she kept saying over and over.

Traynor sent up prayers of his own during the drive to the hospital.

She was wheeled to an empty room in emergency, but by then it was too late.

Jessie Belle started to bleed and she knew then that her baby was gone.

The doctor confirmed their fears. She'd suffered a miscarriage.

“I'm so sorry, honey,” Traynor whispered, taking her hand in his.

Angry, Jessie Belle turned her face away from him. “If you'd listened to me and got us away from here…maybe our baby would still be alive.”

She knew that her words cut into him like a knife.

He faltered into a silence that engulfed them.

“It's no one's fault,” the doctor interjected. “It just wasn't a viable pregnancy.”

“I really wanted this baby,” Jessie Belle confessed.

The doctor nodded in understanding. “I'll leave you two alone.”

“I wanted our baby, too,” Traynor stated. “Jessie Belle, I wanted that baby more than anything. You have to know that.”

Jessie Belle wouldn't look at him when she responded, “Not enough to leave this city.”

She turned over, wincing from the pain. “I shouldn't have said that, Traynor. I know you're grieving, too. I'm just so angry right now.” Tears filled her eyes. “I'm not going to ever get to hold my baby.”

He sat down on the bed beside her, holding Jessie Belle in his arms. “God, give us strength,” Traynor prayed. “We need You in our time of grief, Lord. Help us….” His voice broke and he couldn't continue.

Traynor held Jessie Belle in his arms until she fell asleep, then eased her down gently.

T
raynor left the room to call his in-laws and his father to break the news to them. There were no words to describe the acute sense of loss he was feeling. The sympathetic words uttered by his father and Jessie Belle's father did nothing to soothe his grief.

He made his way back to the hospital room to check on his wife.

Jessie Belle was still sleeping.

Traynor sat down in the visitor chair. Closing his eyes, he prayed.

Father God, I come before You brokenhearted and disappointed. Lord, I need You to bring Your healing touch to us. We've suffered the loss of our unborn child through a miscarriage. Father, we believe that life begins at conception and that this baby is now with You. Still, the pain of our loss is a heavy burden. We loved this child from the moment we knew of the baby's existence.

Tears formed in his eyes.
Father God, we know that our unborn child will never experience the joys of life on this earth, but our hope in eternal life remains firm. Please help us to remember our baby in prayer often. Instill in us the joy that we will one day meet in heaven with You. Father, if we're blessed with more children, we will not forget this unborn child. This baby will always be special to us. Thank You, Father, for strengthening our faith and remind us that our joy comes from You, who are the source of all goodness and love. Amen.

Traynor heard the
McCloud
theme music and his eyes traveled to the television. This was one of his favorite TV shows, but today his mind was elsewhere.

He played with the zipper on the jacket of his navy blue jogging suit.

Jessie Belle stirred but didn't wake up.

Maybe she's right,
Traynor thought.
If I'd listened to Jessie Belle and taken the job in North Carolina—perhaps this situation would've turned out differently
.

A somber Jessie Belle was released the next morning.

They drove home in silence.

Mary Ellen came over shortly after their arrival with a casserole. “If you need me to stay with Jessie Belle while you go down to the church, I don't mind,” she told him.

“I do have a meeting, but I was considering canceling it.”

She shook her head. “You don't have to cancel. Traynor, I really don't mind staying here with her. Go on to your meeting.”

“I won't be gone long,” Traynor promised.

“Take as much time as you need, Traynor. I'm off today.”

“I really appreciate it, Mary Ellen.”

She smiled. “Not a problem.”

Things were tense between him and Jessie Belle. Traynor wasn't sure if they'd be able to get past the grief. It was painfully clear that she blamed Traynor.

He'd made two attempts to get Jessie Belle to discuss the miscarriage, but she refused. She just wanted to be alone.

She's angry and she blames me
. Traynor understood his wife was grieving and she needed to lay blame on someone.

“When I checked on her earlier, she was sleeping,” he told Mary Ellen. “I think she'll be waking up soon.”

Traynor gave her a quick rundown of the antibiotics Jessie Belle had to take.

He walked out of the house and got into the car.

Traynor was relieved to get away, despite the guilt he was feeling over it. He just couldn't face Jessie Belle right now. She was ready to leave Atlanta behind, but he'd refused, and now their child was dead.

Lord, I have to find a way to make this up to my wife. She kept trying to tell me that it was time to move on, but I wouldn't listen.
Jessie Belle had great instincts when it came to people and even their marriage. He should have trusted her gut instincts.

He vowed not to make the same mistake twice.

Jessie Belle tried to sit up until a wave of pain swept through her. “Where's Traynor?” she asked when she spied Mary Ellen sitting in the chair across from her.

“He went down to the church for a little while. He'll be back shortly. How you feeling, hon?”

“I feel like a part of me is missing.” Although she didn't confide in Mary Ellen, she blamed herself for the miscarriage. God had punished her for using her unborn baby as a pawn in her scheme to get Traynor to leave Atlanta. “I wanted that baby more than anything.”

Mary Ellen moved to sit beside her. “You're young, Jessie Belle. You'll have plenty of chances to have another baby.”

She wasn't so sure God would entrust another child to her after her selfish behavior. Jessie Belle began to cry.

Embracing her, Mary Ellen said, “It's gonna be okay, hon….”

I'm so sorry, Lord. Please forgive me for using my baby like that. If You bless me with another child, I promise I won't ever do it again. I won't, Lord. I promise
.

Mary Ellen forced Jessie Belle to eat a little of the chicken casserole she brought over.

She fell asleep shortly after lunch.

When Jessie Belle opened her eyes, she found Traynor with her instead of Mary Ellen.

“You're back,” she murmured.

“I didn't want to stay away too long. I was worried about you.”

“I'm fine,” she told him.

“During the drive back here, I had a little talk with God and I'm going to see if the job in Raleigh is still available. If it is, I'm going to take the job. I think you're right. Our season here is over.”

“I really hope it's still available,” she responded. Jessie Belle winced when she tried to shift her position.

“Are you still in pain?” he asked.

“Yeah, but it's not as bad as the others have been.” She lay back on the sofa. “I'll lay here for a while and see how I feel. If the pain persists, we'll have to go back to the hospital.”

“You let me know,” he told her. “I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“I feel so safe with you, Traynor.”

He smiled. “You get some rest, sweetheart.”

When he left the room, Jessie Belle tried to stretch and was rewarded with an attack of cramping.

She moaned.

Jessie Belle turned to her left side, staring out the window. “We're leaving this godforsaken place finally…,” she whispered. “I just hate that it was at the expense of my child's life.”

Jessie Belle strolled out of the nail salon, smiling, a couple of weeks later. She and Traynor would be moving at the end of the month. Four days after the miscarriage, Traynor went to Raleigh to interview for the job with New Salem Baptist Church.

After his trial sermon, he was offered the job. She traveled with him back to Raleigh a week later to find a home. Jessie Belle found one the first day and convinced Traynor to write a contract on it.

Yesterday, someone made an offer on their Atlanta home and would be closing the day before they left. Things were going well for Jessie Belle.

“You think you can just leave me like this?”

At the sound of Atkinson's voice, she stopped walking and turned around. “What are you doing here?” Jessie Belle demanded. “Are you stalking me now?”

“You don't have to be so mean. I just want to talk to you. Jessie Belle, let's be honest. We want to be together.”

“Atkinson, get over yourself,” she snapped in frustration. “I've told you that I have no intentions of cheating on my husband. You and that psycho girlfriend are the very reasons we're leaving Atlanta.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “You don't mean that. Your husband took that job to keep you from leaving him for me.”

Jessie Belle bristled. “Actually, I do mean it, Atkinson. Because of y'all, I lost my baby. And I want you to know, I'll never forgive either one of you.”

“I had no idea you were pregnant. I'm so sorry, sweetheart.”

“You mean Cynthia didn't tell you? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
That woman is a trip
.”

“She knew?”

Jessie Belle nodded. “I started having pains at the church during an argument with her.”

“She didn't tell me nothing about that. I heard that you two were arguing, but that was all. Sweetheart…”

“I'm not your sweetheart,” Jessie Belle quickly interjected. “Just leave me alone, Atkinson. Why can't you take a hint? I don't want nothing to do with you—never did. All I wanted was my car.”

Atkinson's face turned ugly. “One day…”

“Don't you dare threaten me,” Jessie Belle hissed. “You don't know me or what I can do….”

“Cynthia's right about you,” he uttered after a moment. “You are evil.”

Jessie Belle shrugged in nonchalance. “Say what you want—just stay the hell out of my life.”

Atkinson walked briskly to the door but not before leaving her with a prediction. “Jessie Belle, you can't keep going around here playing games with people like that. You're gonna pay for your sins one day.
Mark my words
.”

She gave him a big smile. “You have a wonderful day, Atkinson.”