Jia: A Novel of North Korea (21 page)

I shook Sangwon. "Did you see that?" I asked, pointing
outside. He was drowsy and said nothing.

A middle-aged woman in front of me spoke. "It's a dead
person. Someone must have fallen asleep on top of the train
and rolled off, or he died of electric shock up there and
others pushed him off" I was stunned. Sangwon closed his
eyes again, indifferent to her explanation. She continued,
"That's not so bad compared to other things that happen on
this train. If you see these scenes as often as we have, you
won't care anymore either."

I fell asleep hugging Sangwon. Sleeping on the train was brutal; the seat was so hard it hurt, and fleas and bedbugs
bit me all over. Though vendors sold food at each station,
I was afraid I would have to go to the restroom, so I ate
only a little. Even the restroom was filled with people, and
passengers gave up using the toilet in the restroom, doing
their business between compartments instead. Shyness and
shame no longer existed. Nobody cared. Nobody blamed
others. People joked whenever someone relieved himself,
saying, "That looks like it was a great meal!"

The train often stopped due to engine trouble; we were
stuck at one station for a day and a half. The ticket inspectors came to check tickets at some stations, and passengers who didn't have tickets or travel permits sneaked out
between the compartments and climbed to the top of the
train. When the inspectors got to me, I stroked Sangwon's
hair as he lay on my lap and told them he was my ill cousin
and I was taking him to his mother in Hoeryong. Sangwon
showed his spindly leg to the inspectors. They grimaced and
turned their heads, then went on to check other people.

As the days passed, it seemed as if walking would have
been faster than taking the train. I thought the journey
would never end. Patience was a struggle. But, looking
back, the train trip turned out to be the easiest leg of my
journey.

A s we approached the border in Hoeryong, the sun lit up
-the landscape, but the wind was so cold I huddled in my
coat for warmth. Sangwon and I had left the train in the early
morning and squatted down in the bushes near the border.
There was no fence dividing the countries, and in the distance to the right, I could see a bridge connecting low mountains in each country. From a small hut on each side, two or
three soldiers with guns on their shoulders came and went; if
not for them, the border would have been invisible. I caught
sight of a wide plain across the river, quiet and peaceful; I
could even see houses and dogs. The mountains on the other
side looked more luxuriant, more springlike. Sun might have
gazed across the border from just the place where I stood.

Several soldiers in dark-green uniforms and broadbrimmed hats paced along the river, looking nervous.

"Today is a good time," Sangwon said, with a satisfied
smile.

Four big military vans were crossing the bridge, coming
from China.

"Those cars are coming from the Baekdu Mountains,"
Sangwon said, pointing casually.

The vans stopped in front of a white, four-story building,
where several soldiers were waiting. A man wearing a lightergreen uniform got out of one of the vans, and a soldier approached him. They saluted each other and began talking.
Other soldiers opened the back door of each van, and prisoners bound together by a thick rope emerged. The rope
was tied around the first captive's hands, behind his back,
and looped around the next captive's waist and hands. About
ten people were chained together in that way. Some lowered their heads, others looked around. The soldiers kicked
them; when one fell down, others in the same line staggered. The soldiers made each group of prisoners stand in
one line. Then they pushed them into the white building.

"They'll be very busy, today," Sangwon said without
taking his eyes from the scene.

"Who are they?"

"Those people were held in a detention center in China.
The Chinese policemen are sending them under guard to
this side. When I was caught, I was one of them too. There
are so many today, more than a hundred..." Several children appeared to be Sangwon's age, and he tensed at the
sight of them.

After everyone disappeared inside the building, the soldiers gathered together. Drivers got out of the cars and exchanged cigarettes.

"First, they must divide up the prisoners according to where they will be sent," Sangwon said. "They'll start interrogating them tonight. Sooner or later, we'll hear screams
from in there." He pointed with his chin toward the ugly
old building.

I swallowed hard. Sensing my nerves, Sangwon patted
my shoulder and said, "It's good luck for us, it means the
lookout will be distracted tonight. Most of the soldiers will
be in the building keeping watch over the prisoners."

Sangwon grabbed my coat lightly. "You are lucky. Tonight is a good night." He lowered himself further into
the bushes, and his hat covered his eyes and nose so that I
could only see his lips moving. "We have to be really careful, though, or we'll end up with them. Let's wait until
sunset."

We lay down under the bushes for a while, and I heard
the vans drive away. Pressing my whole body into the grass,
I felt a sudden ache in my back and hips, and clenched my
teeth, so as not to groan. After a while, the pain subsided.
Several days of travel had taken a toll on me.

I tried to ignore the tremors shaking my body, but they
wouldn't stop. When I looked up, I only saw Sangwon's glittering eyes looking down at me; the rest was dark. I tried to
stand up, but Sangwon pushed my shoulders down, hard.

"Sh!" He covered his lips with his index finger. "Come
here." He dropped to his knees and motioned for me to follow him. We were heading toward the river.

"You should swim as quietly and quickly as possible.
Even if the soldiers discover us, don't stop, okay? Sometimes
when they shout, "Stop," people feel they really ought to
stop. Some old people actually stop in the middle of crossing the river. I'm not lying. So I'm warning you in advance: Never, never stop. Don't even hesitate."

With a serious expression on his small face, he continued, "When we reach the other side, don't be relieved yet.
Don't stop moving. Don't make too much noise there, either; there are also Chinese security guards trying to catch
us. As soon as we find the bushes, we'll run for them and
hide for a while."

When we reached the river, I froze and stared at what
seemed like a dark floor spread out before me. The land on
the other side looked much farther than I had estimated in
the daylight.

Sangwon took off his clothes and rolled them up, putting them in his hat, which he held on the top of his head.
His bones protruded from every angle of his body.

"Let's go."

Sangwon threw his body into the river while I took off
my coat and shoes, stripping down to my underwear. Even
surrounded by darkness, I couldn't help looking around for
eyes spying on my half-naked body. I folded my clothes
and shoes into my backpack, and tied the strings of the bag
around my neck, to prevent the contents from getting wet.

With a throbbing heart, I stepped into the river. My
teeth clenched hard and my body tingled with cold. The
water only reached my navel. I looked at Sangwon. The
water was almost at his shoulder.

He looked like a ghost, his body lost below the shoulders, creeping on a black floor. I thought I might be dying-the cold was cutting my flesh like a knife. Despite
Sangwon's warning not to turn my head, I looked back at
the white building and the water we had already crossed.
The lump of the white building in the swallowing darkness
looked even more run down; I swam for my life.

When we reached the far riverbank, I toppled out of the
water and onto the ground. The cold wracking my body
held me in place. My teeth were chattering, and Sangwon
gestured for me to bite down on the string of my backpack.
There was no time to rest, so we stumbled to some nearby
bushes and I sprawled out flat on the ground. I couldn't
think; I couldn't even hold up my head. I closed my eyes
tight. Straining my ears, I tried to catch some sound, but it
was deathly quiet. The cold wind made my water-soaked
clothes even colder, and I held Sangwon's hand tightly. I
was relying on the strength of a boy with such small shoulders. He nudged my hand and gestured to me to put on all
of my dry clothes, just as he was doing; there was no shame
or shyness left. I slipped off my undergarments and changed
into dry clothes, but the chill had settled into my body for
good. Again, we waited in the bushes without stirring.

I don't know how much time passed. Sometime later, in
the darkness, Sangwon pulled me by the hand and we stole
deeper into the strange, new land.

-- -e moved at night and hid under bushes in the daytime, walking through the mountains on sequestered roads. We were afraid of running into wild animals,
but there was no choice. Before the sun rose, we would find
some tall grass and try to sleep; my mind could never completely rest, despite my body's utter exhaustion. Sangwon
complained that walking through the mountains took two
or three times longer than using the regular road. I prayed
not to be detected no matter how long it took.

I wondered what was happening back in Pyongyang;
had Director Park and Seunggyu discovered my disappearance? I hoped I hadn't caused trouble for Director Park.

It didn't feel as if the ground I was stepping on was that
of a different country. The grass, rocks, trees, and sky were
the same as those I knew in North Korea. Sometimes, from the bushes, we saw farmers or houses in the distance; the
houses had exactly the same shape as ours, and the farmers' faces and clothes didn't seem so different from mine. I
kept reminding myself, I'm in a different place now. All of
this is new.

Sangwon and I were so afraid, we barely talked as we
walked. Sometimes we gestured to each other or whispered,
"Don't worry." That was all we could do. The food we had
brought was already gone, and we needed to preserve our
energy. Sangwon would pull the bark from a certain kind
of tree and strip off the white insides for us to chew. Chewing made the wood softer; eventually I could taste some
flavor, and the bark kept us from starving.

The deeper we got into the mountains, the safer we
felt. Sangwon explained that we were going to the cave he
stayed in whenever he crossed the river. He said he heard
people had made the cave decades ago as a dugout to hide
from a Japanese attack. There were several such dugouts
deep in the mountains where people like us stayed.

After an arduous climb, we finally reached the cave. From
the outside, you couldn't tell it was a cave. There was a small
mound covered with tall weeds-passersby would guess it
was just an unattended grave-but behind the weeds was
a round hole in the rock, just large enough for an adult to
crawl through. The deeper in we crept, the wider the cavity became. Sangwon said it was safe, but in the dim light I
could feel my pupils growing, along with my fearfulness.

Dimly, I could see that a few people were already seated
inside the cave. They didn't even look at us-they were unsurprised by strangers. We found a vacant place, and an old
woman lying next to it propped herself up on her elbows.
"Aren't you Sangwon?" she asked.

Sangwon beamed. "Grandmother! I didn't expect to
find you here."

Weakly, she tried to grasp Sangwon's hand. "I was in
another town, but I got back a week ago," she said.

Sangwon scrutinized her. "What happened to you? Are
you okay?"

She shook her head. "I got hit by a car, crossing the
street, and ran away with all my might. I was afraid the
police would catch me. There was no place to rest safely in
the town, so I came back here."

Sangwon stooped over her tenderly. "How did you
climb the mountain in your condition?" He rubbed her
shoulder with concern.