Jia: A Novel of North Korea (23 page)

Ignoring the visitors, I hugged Sangwon and pretended
to sleep. One of them spotted us, however, and drew near.
He nudged Sangwon in the ribs and said, "Hey, Sangwon.
You cane back. We wondered if you were okay. We haven't
seen you for a long time. Is your leg any better?"

He made Sangwon stand up. "Who is this woman?" he
asked. "We haven't seen her before, right?"

He looked around at the others, but they kept their heads
lowered. Moving his face close to mine, he called loudly to
his friends, "Hey, check out the new face!"

The other men approached and Sangwon glared at
them, shouting, "She's my mom. Nothing interesting to
you guys."

They pushed Sangwon away and dragged me to my feet.
"Sangwon, we know your mom is dead. Sorry about that,"
the man said. He snickered.

The strangers watched my face intently. "She looks too
young to be your mom, anyway," one of them said.

They surrounded me. One of them leered, "This place
isn't so comfortable for you. Is it, young lady?" He sat down
and grabbed my hand. "You haven't experienced the harsh
world yet. Your white hands and face show it."

Sangwon barked at them, "Don't touch her. I said she's
my mom."

They glared at Sangwon and he glowered back, then
looked around the cave, appealing to others. There was
Kangmin, who had a robust physique; he was the one who
had found me, he always helped old people and children.

Kangmin approached the man and said, "They're like mother and son, and we treat them that way, whether it's
true or not."

The man who had grabbed my hand stood up and threw
Kangmin a furious look. "Why didn't you report her to
us? That was our deal, wasn't it? We give you guys a nest,
provide jobs for some of you, and don't give you away to
the police."

Kangmin lowered his head and said, "Sorry, but she and
Sangwon really are like mother and son. She won't leave
without him."

The man came close to me again and sat down. "But she
has a right to listen to what a good world we can show her," he
said, with a dirty smile. "And what a nice job she can get."

The intermediaries' job was selling women. As illegals
on the Chinese side of the border, North Korean women
found that their options were limited. Men could work on
farms or at construction sites for a third or half the wages
of legal laborers; children and the elderly could beg on the
street. What could women do?

The man was watching me very carefully. "What did
you do over there? You must have had a nice job as a dancer
or artist. I can tell."

I couldn't stand him any longer and sprang to my feet.
"I'm not leaving this place, so don't waste your time."

He stood up too and smiled. "Why do you want to live in
a place that looks like a bomb hit it? It's cold, and you might be
captured and sent home at any moment. We are not bullying
you; we can provide security and a happy life. Think about it:
you're young and pretty, all kinds of opportunities await you
out there, but if you reject them, you get nothing."

I turned my back to them and took Sangwon's hand,
leading him to the other side of the cave.

The man didn't follow us, but he spoke loudly so everyone else could hear. "We won't force you, just think about
it. You want to take care of Sangwon. Right? You can make
money to cure his rotten leg, and help him get a regular
education. Think about how pathetic he is. He'll lose his leg
pretty soon. After a while, his whole body may rot."

Sangwon growled at them, like an animal.

The man put his hands in his pockets and whistled to
his friends to leave. "You can think about it until the next
time. Bye, Sangwon. Take care of that leg."

As the men departed, people exhaled sighs of relief. I
was frightened; they said they didn't force people, but it was
clearly a threat. I looked at Sangwon's leg, the man's suggestion ringing in my head.

Sangwon looked at me angrily and said, "Don't even
think about it. Don't trust them, they are scoundrels. Everything they say is pure trash. They work for their own
greedy stomachs, not for us. They sell women every day."

I rested my hand on his head and assured Sangwon I wasn't
taken in by their suggestion. But I was concerned as I looked
around the cave. It was a temporary shelter for all of us. None
of us knew where we could go or how we would make a living elsewhere, but we also knew the cave wasn't safe. Sangwon
and I had made plans to move on in a platter of weeks. We
needed more time to get over our physical problems. Sangwon suggested we go to a big city, where it would be easier
to hide our identities and to adjust. We decided to depend on
each other until it was best to separate. His leg was looking
better as the weather warmed up, but the man's warning that
Sangwon's body would fall apart stayed with me.

Several days later, the men returned early in the morning, before anyone had left for town. They didn't harass me, but I didn't like their smiles as they shuffled around, full of
entitlement.

One asked me, "How is it living here?"

I didn't respond.

"Tell me what you did over there." He came closer.

"You didn't run away just because of hunger-did you
commit a crime? Do you have some secret you can't tell
us?" He sat in front of me. I took a step back and averted
my face.

Sangwon, who had just awoken, tried to sit up. I patted
his shoulder and said to the man, "It's none of your business."

"I know that," the intruder said. "I'm just asking. I want
to help you."

"I can help myself."

Another of the men shouted to him, "Why do you
bother her? Come over here."

A woman who had arrived at the cave when we did
was speaking to the men privately. One of them touched
her shoulder and said, "That's a good decision. You won't
regret it." Then they took her to a corner of the cave and
spoke to her in a low voice; she nodded and went back to
her place. She quietly packed her belongings and sat down,
avoiding the eyes of the people watching her. She told her
story to the woman who slept next to her.

She had crossed the border carrying her two-year-old
daughter on her back. She said that as she was crossing the
river, something yanked on her hair, but she didn't turn
back. After she got across, she took her daughter down off
her back and found that she was dead. The thing pulling
on her hair was her drowning daughter. When she arrived
at the cave, her spirits were low. She was a gazelle-eyed woman who seemed unable to endure the hardship. She
spent her days in silence, watching the ceiling. Sometimes,
at night, we could hear her muffled crying. No one could
console her.

The cave dwellers were used to such tragedies; many of
them had similar stories themselves. They tried to ignore
her and sleep, as they were loath to be reminded of their
own sadness.

In the days that followed, people went back to their own
business, working on the outside and trying to save for
their futures. Nobody knew how much money others kept
and what kind of food they had in their backpacks. We all
had our secret hiding places. It was the strictest rule not to
touch other people's belongings.

The morning after the unwelcome visitors left, as people were getting ready to leave for the day, Kangmin called
to Sangwon, "Did you know there is a party in town today?"

As soon as Sangwon heard, he sprang to his feet eagerly.
"Really? Are you sure? I haven't heard that."

"Today is that grandfather's birthdayin the Zhang
family. I'm sure you can get a lot of food; the old guy especially likes you, doesn't he?" Kangmin smiled.

Sangwon looked doubtful. "He didn't mention it when
I stopped by his house last week-that's unlike him."

Bangmu, who was always with Kangmin, spoke up,
"He's an old guy. At his age it is easy to forget things. Why
don't you go? I'm sure they've started the party by now."

Sangwon was already putting his clothes on as he
spoke. "Let's go. We can get a lot of food." He drew me
by the arm.

Bangmu put his hand on Sangwon's shoulder and said,
"Why don't you go with me? She can't carry a lot of food,
but I can help you. We'll bring back a load of food and have
a party here. In the meantime, Kangmin and Jia can find
bush clover so we can cook rice and scorched rice water."

Sangwon grabbed his coat, "Let's go then. Sister, I will
be back soon. Try to find as much clover as possible. I'm
going to bring a lot of food so all of us can eat to our hearts'
content." He proudly tapped his chest.

They left at a trot. Sangwon looked like a little squirrel;
his limping was a piteous sight.

Watching him leave, Kangmin said from behind me,
"Let's go pick some branches. I know where to find bush
clover."

Kangmin walked really fast. I liked him; he never said
much, but everyone trusted him. People in the cave didn't
talk about their past lives. Sangwon said people used to
speak freely about their work back home, and why they had
decided to cross the river. But then some were arrested by
the North Korean police, and they divulged other people's
secrets to lessen their punishment. After that, people exchanged warm greetings in the cave, but no one shared
their past.

As we climbed down the mountain, however, Kangmin told me about himself. He said he had to support his
seven brothers and sisters in North Korea. He was a soldier
who had firmly trusted in communism and still believed
the ideology. He had a nine-year-old brother who was born
blind but was full of energy and ambition. One day, his
brother disappeared-he went outside by himself and was
so hungry he ate some poisonous grass without realizing
it. After that, he couldn't speak or hear at all; he lost every connection to the world. That's when Kangmin had decided to cross the border, in the hope of saving some money
and eventually bringing his brothers and sisters back with
him to China.

Suddenly, he stopped and looked around.

"Is this the place where we can find bush clover?" I
asked.

"Yeah. I think so...hold on."

He whistled. A moment later, someone whistled back.

The three men who had visited the cave earlier suddenly
appeared through the bushes. They approached us. One smiled
and said, "Oh, what a coincidence! Sangwon'syoungmother! "

With them was a woman I hadn't seen before. She wore
thick makeup. Her long hair, parted in the middle, hung
down to her waist, and her tiny, button-shaped eyes contrasted sharply with her long eyebrows, which swept back
to her hairline.

She walked up to me, ahead of the men. "Is this the
girl?" she asked.

The man who had threatened me walked up behind her.
"Right. What do you think?"

"It could be big money," she answered.

"See? I told you. It was worth the trip, right?"

He laughed, satisfied. She gazed into my face and then
eyed me from top to bottom as she walked around me.

"You guys did a good job this time."

My head was reeling. I turned to Kangmin, who was
standing apart from us. His eyes were evasive. He murmured, "It won't be so bad for you-it will be better than
this place. I'm doing this for you... and for my brothers and
sisters. Please remember that you are saving several lives. I
promise I'll take care of Sangwon." His voice wobbled.

Sometimes, in life, people cross unexpectedly into a different world. For me, such a crossing happened in that moment. I had often imagined how I would react to difficult
situations, how I would handle myself, whether I would be
brave or meek. But a scenario such as this had not figured
into my wildest speculations.

I was frozen, and there was no sound in my throat. I tried
to reach for something familiar; I turned to Kangmin's face
one more time, but he would not meet my eyes.

Someone tossed a lump wrapped in newspaper to him.
"That's for you and Bangmu."

Kangmin didn't pick it up right away. Like me, he was
frozen. I wanted to ask him what was going on-perhaps
he could explain it all and everything would be resolved.
Surely there had been a mistake. I took a step toward him,
but one of the men grabbed my arm and the strange woman covered my mouth and nose with a white cloth. I saw
Kangmin's face lose focus, and again I tried to reach out
my hand. The last thing I saw was his cold, hollow eyes. I
struggled to keep them in sight, fighting to keep my eyelids
open, but his eyes swirled and grew bigger until they were
consuming my whole body. I passed out.

` ore than 20 women lived in the large room where I
_ -was dumped. Huge men patrolled the halls to keep
us inside. Occasionally, one of the women looked pitifully
at me and said, "Time will solve everything." There were
no bruises on my skin, but my muscles and bones ached.
One of the thugs brought me food twice a day.

I lay facedown in a corner of the room that first night,
wishing I could close my eyes forever, wishing myself back
to the cave.