Jodi Thomas (41 page)

Selma danced across the room like a tiny snow fairy. She was one of those women who would never stop being a little girl. “We had to come, even in the snow, to tell you.” She smiled with delight at the oven cakes. “Those look just like what we had in Germany.”

Anna handed her a hot potato. “I had to cook them on a skillet, but they should taste the same. Now let it cool and tell us your news.”

Selma looked up as if she’d suddenly remembered. “Oh, yes.” She held Carl’s hand with both her own. “We’re going to have a baby,” she said in her most grown-up voice.

Everyone started talking at once. There was laughter and dancing and shouting.

Anna hugged Selma hard. “When?”

“I thought I might be with child when I was in town. Mrs. Basse told me not to tell anyone until I felt it move, and then I’d only have four months to go. I felt it move last night. We’ll have a child before spring.”

Maggie was pulling at Selma’s skirt. “What are you going to name it?”

Carl answered. “Herschel if it’s a boy, and Texas if it’s a girl?”

Everyone laughed, but only Maggie was brave enough to say, “
Herschel,
who’d ever call a baby that? And what kind of name is Texas for a girl?”

Selma patted her on the head. “Don’t worry, I’ve got four months to work on him. Maybe you can help me think of another name.”

Suggestions flooded the room for several minutes, with each name getting wilder and more outrageous. Finally, Carl ended the discussion by saying he’d give the names some more thought. He pulled on his coat. “I’m going out to the barn to look at something with Chance,” he said, winking at the other man. “We have to leave the women alone to talk about those things that no man in his right mind wants to hear.”

Nodding, Chance followed him and left the women to make pies and talk.

The shadows outside had grown long by the time Carl and Selma left. They’d had a great visit, but Chance had remained silent during most of the discussions about the future. He smiled at Carl’s kidding about catching up with him on children and laughed when they talked of their children someday marrying one another. But Chance seemed relieved when they finally left. For him there was no future with Anna, and listening to the others only made him more aware of how little time they had left.

He carried Maggie up to bed while Anna tucked Cherish into her cradle. When he returned, Anna was staring out at the moon reflecting off the snow. He stood behind her, encircling her with his warmth. “What are you thinking, my love?”

Anna leaned her head against his neck. “I was thinking what if I were pregnant.”

Chance chuckled. “You’ve been loving me for months now and the thought just crossed your mind?”

“No, I’ve thought of it before, but it always seemed far away.”

He slid his hands over her abdomen. “I can think of nothing more beautiful than your body swelling with my seed.”

Anna pulled away. “I’m not the earth—something to be planted.”

Chance realized he hadn’t said it right. “No, you’re not. I just remember how lovely you were when you were pregnant and I would be proud if we had another child. I think sometimes of what a son of ours would be like. Does the thought of another pregnancy frighten you?”

“No.” Anna turned away from him. “With Maggie here to help I could handle another baby.” She loved the idea that a part of him would always remain with her.

Turning her to face him, he asked, “Do you honestly think I could leave you if you were pregnant?”

Anna didn’t want to think about it at all. She didn’t want to tie him down or try to cage him, but her plan for having her own farm without a man around was as ragged and warped as a novice’s quilt. What had seemed like such a good pattern had somehow gone off center, and now that it was about to be complete, Anna felt a growing hatred for the end she’d made for herself.

She looked up at this man who’d become so much a part of her life. “I’m not pregnant, but if I were I’d be proud to bear your child.”

Chance pulled her to him. God, how he wished she’d begged him to stay. He wanted nothing more than to live with Anna and have a dozen kids, but his pride kept him silent. For he was a man of his word, and he’d keep his part of the bargain even if it ripped his heart out to do it. If she wanted him gone, he’d leave on the third day of January, just as promised.

But tonight, and every night for the weeks he had left, he’d love her. He’d build up a lifetime of memories in that time.

C
hristmas came wrapped with joy and tied with silent sadness. Chance had almost forgotten how families celebrated the holiday. For the past several years he hadn’t even noticed the day’s passing. But not this year. Anna made a feast and invited Tobin, Carl, and Selma, then insisted on decorating a tree and having presents for everyone. The strain that was growing daily between him and Anna seemed to ease for this one day. Yet an ocean of unspoken words that neither knew how to cross floated between them.

Carl and Selma arrived early in the afternoon with their arms loaded with gifts. Pregnancy weighed heavily on Selma’s tiny frame, making her look like a buoy floating in her long skirts. Even though she was only in her sixth month, she was already waddling.

Tobin soon followed, his wagon loaded with gifts. He’d always practiced the philosophy of never carrying more than he could pack in his saddlebags, so he’d spent the money he had left after restocking his supplies on gifts for everyone.

Laughter filled the house to capacity as everyone opened their gifts. Chance touched the shirt Anna had made him as though he were holding something priceless. She’d used all her saved strands of loose hair to braid him a chain for his watch. He looked at it questioningly until Selma explained that many German women made things like watch chains and combs out of their hair. Some even made wreaths with finely embroidered flowers made all of hair, she told him.

Maggie squealed, drawing everyone’s attention. Selma had made her a doll and Carl had carved tiny furniture to match. Chance gave her a miniature dresser set like Anna’s, and Tobin had bought the matching mirror. Anna had made her two new dresses and a long knitted shawl. The child moved from one gift to the other thinking she was surely the richest little girl alive.

Chance watched as Anna opened all her gifts of hair ribbons and things for Cherish. When her lap was empty, he stood and pulled her silently with him across the open space to their bedroom. All the others followed with excitement.

Opening the door, he smiled as Anna gasped. There, where only a bed and crib had been, was a roomful of furniture. Chance beamed. “Carl helped me.” He moved beside the dresser. “I thought you needed a real dresser for that fine dresser set of yours and Carl suggested the desk and wardrobe. We had one heck of a time getting it through the door this morning while you were cooking without you noticing.”

Running her hands over the soft cedar, she whispered, “It’s beautiful.”

“That’s not all,” Carl yelled form the porch. “Selma and I thought you’d need this for all those babies coming in the future.” He uncovered a finely crafted rocker with a cushion made from the same material Selma had used for her curtains.

Anna couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying. She felt very much like Maggie with too many presents all at once. She’d worked for weeks to give everyone gifts without thinking about what they might give her, and now she was overwhelmed.

She hugged everyone. When she moved into Chance’s arms, he held her a little too tightly, as though with each touch he realized they were one step closer to the end. She pulled away, trying to laugh at Tobin’s teasing, but she could see the pain that seemed to grow daily in Chance’s eyes.

Anna hurried everyone into the kitchen, not wanting to think about Chance’s leaving in only a few days. They all crowded around the table, which was loaded down with food.

The laughter and hubbub of food being passed blocked out the sound of gunfire for a moment. Then, all at once, everyone heard it. Anna grabbed Maggie and Cherish and ran to the dugout with Selma at her side. The men raced for their guns as another round of fire sounded from the direction of the road.

Chance was on the porch with Tobin and Carl at his side when a rider rounded the bend from town and headed toward the house. Silently, Tobin raised his rifle, ready to fire.

“Wait!” the rider shouted. “Don’t shoot!”

Chance swore under his breath as he recognized the rider. “Walter,” he whispered as Tobin lowered his gun only an inch, still debating whether or not to fire.

Walter rode close, almost falling from his horse as he reined to a stop. “I was beginning to think there was no one around. I was over at Carl and Selma’s place and—”

Chance cut him off. “What do you want, Walter?”

The fat man dusted himself off, offended by Chance’s directness. Walter could see by the Texan’s wide stance that any hopes of being invited in were only dreams. “I came to tell you that the society officials will be around tomorrow or the next day to check on how all the homesteads are coming. If there’s no one home, the land will be reassigned.”

“It’s pretty obvious we’re living here.” Chance didn’t like Walter and made no attempt to be anything but blunt.

“Yes, but some of the farms have been abandoned this winter. Not all farmers planted crops like you folks did. Some thought it was too late in the season, and some just didn’t know how. Anyway, I was just sent to tell all you folks that there best be someone around the place when the society comes.”

“Anna or I will be here.” Chance wished he could say that he would be on the land, but he knew in a week he would be leaving.

Walter nodded as if Chance’s news were bad. As he turned to remount, he raised an eyebrow at Chance. “I heard tell you were looking for an Indian who goes by the name Storm’s Edge.”

Chance stepped from the porch, interested in Walter for the first time. “What have you heard?”

“Not much, only that he’s camped up by the north river. An Indian from another tribe spotted him and told John. He said they looked like they were resting and would be moving on in a few days. May already be gone.”

Chance studied the fat man. He had made no secret of looking for Storm’s Edge, but did Walter really know something or was he just hoping Chance would leave and he could somehow frighten Anna off long enough to claim that the farm was abandoned? “What makes you think it’s Storm’s Edge?”

“Just hearsay. Don’t know for sure. The Indian said he’s got a white streak in his hair.”

Chance’s blood turned cold. If Walter was right, this might be as close as he’d ever get to the Indian who’d killed his family. This might be his only chance.

As Walter rode off, Carl went to tell the women it was safe while Tobin followed Chance into the barn. He watched as Chance drew a bridle and saddlebag from their hooks.

“I don’t see that this can’t wait until tomorrow, son. We haven’t even finished Christmas dinner yet.”

Throwing supplies into his saddlebag, Chance answered, “I’m not asking you to go. In fact, I want you to stay here until I get back and make sure Walter doesn’t try anything. This place is all that matters to Anna, and I want you to keep a watch until I get back. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be careful. If I can’t get a clean shot at Storm’s Edge without starting an Indian war, I’ll come back in a day or two.”

Tobin nodded. “I guess sometimes a man’s got to do what he thinks is right no matter what folks think. But if you ask me, son, you may be buying yourself a ticket to eternity.”

“I swore on my parents’ graves I’d avenge their murders,” Chance answered.

Tobin sighed. “I’ll stay, if you want it. But be careful, son. You may not know it but you matter a hell of a lot to those little ladies in there.”

Watching him leave, Chance for once thanked the old-timer for his brevity. They’d both learned a long time ago that in this country it was best to keep good-byes short.

Tobin bumped into Anna as she stormed through the barn door. He hurried away, wanting no part of the scene that was about to take place.

When Anna turned to face Chance, fire as hot as an August sun shot from her eyes. She stormed toward him with her hands balled into fists.

Chance smiled, suddenly realizing there was no escaping her wrath.

“Carl said you’re leaving.” Her words were full of anger.

“That’s right. Storm’s Edge is camped up the river to the north, and I aim to catch up with him this time.”

“You can’t leave; it’s Christmas.”

“I’ve got to go.” He concentrated on his work so he wouldn’t have to look at her.

“But we haven’t finished our dinner.”

“Anna, I have to go.” He strapped the saddle on Cyoty.

“No!” Anna was fighting back the anger that threatened to well over into tears. “You said you’d stay a year. I need you here. I’m not ready to say good-bye. I thought we’d have another week.”

Chance tried to touch her, but she pulled away. “I’m not leaving for good. I’ll be back tomorrow or the next day at the latest. Tobin will stay around and make sure there’s no trouble.”

Shaking her head as if she knew his words were a lie, Anna shouted, “The man you want is no lost Indian. He’s a killer.” She bit her lip until she tasted blood. “If you leave me now, don’t come back.”

Chance pulled her to him abruptly, his words brushing the soft curls by her ear. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do. You’ll be leaving in a week anyway. This way I’ll never know if you got killed or just rode away. If you go, go forever.” All the pain she knew would hit her when he finally left slammed into her heart now. She could not say good-bye to him more than once or her heart would surely explode from the effort.

Chance felt her body grow rigid in his arms as her words chilled his heart. He kissed her roughly, but she was stone-cold and he pushed her away. “Dear God, you had me thinking you cared for me, but if I stayed around here another hundred years I’d never be gentleman enough for you. You’d break us both trying to make me into something I’ll never be.”