Johnny Gruesome (8 page)

Light splits the darkness
.

I see again, but not with my eyes. The light intensifies, showering me. It’s no tunnel of light, though; more like warm sunshine on closed eyelids
.

Silhouettes appear, moving toward me like dancers … or stampeding animals
.

Angels—?

Maybe.

Guess I wasn’t such a bad dude after all
.

“Yeah, I killed him,” Gary said. “But only because he was going to kill all of us.”

Eric’s mind raced, his thoughts in disarray. “No! He wasn’t serious … He wouldn’t have … It was you …”

“Bullshit. He steered straight for this railing. He was going to kill himself and take us with him. He was out of his freaking mind.”

“No.” Eric shoved Gary back. “He was just trying to scare us. You’re so wired you don’t know what’s real and what isn’t.” Gary turned to Karen. “You tell him.”

She wiped tears from her eyes. “He’s right, Eric. Look at the car.” Eric’s eyes darted to the Death Mobile. The front bumper filled the gap between the barriers, the front wheels less than two feet from the edge.

“If I hadn’t pulled the emergency brake, we’d all be dead now.”

The silhouettes embrace me, shadows of golden warmth.

Is this what it feels like to get high on heroin or trip on acid?

I hear thousands of voices at the same time, all of them urging me to join them.

One rises above the others and I feel—

Love?

A mother’s love.

My mother!

Touching my soul, she guides me into the light.

For the first time in seven years, I feel safe.

At peace.

“Karen saved our asses,” Gary said. “So did I.” He gestured at the railing. “If I hadn’t stopped Johnny, we’d be down there right now.”

Karen stood, her jeans wet from the knees down. “Johnny lost control, Eric. You heard him. He was pissed off at the whole world.”

Eric jabbed the air before Gary. “You didn’t have to kill him!”

“I didn’t mean to. But what do you think would have happened if I’d let him go? I had to protect myself, had to protect us.”

“Oh, Jesus …”

Gary stepped forward. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

Eric froze. “I tried—”

“Really?”

“Everything happened so fast …”

“You mean you were too scared to do anything.”

Eric faced Karen. The accusation in her eyes told him she agreed with Gary. With his thoughts tumbling like laundry in a dryer, he turned back. “Maybe you’re right. Everything got crazy. If it was self-defense, the cops will understand.”

“Are you nuts? They’ll hang me out to dry, and you two with me. How much beer did you drink? Karen had a few and smoked some weed. My system’s totally polluted. Think of the publicity. The newspapers will call us drug addicts and murderers and devil worshipers, like those poor kids in Memphis. You still hoping to go to college? Our lives will be ruined. Our
parents’
lives will be ruined.”

NO—!

Eric ran one hand through his hair, his head throbbing. His parents. College. His whole future. “I need to think.”

Gary lowered his hands. “Take your time, okay? It’s not like we’re in an uncompromising position or anything. Anyone drives by and sees us, we’ll just act cool and hope they don’t notice Johnny lying tits up in the snow.”

Eric took in the tableau. His breathing slowed. Karen and Gary grew smaller, staring at him. He no longer felt cold.
Shock?

“Where do you think you’re going?” Gary said.

Stopping in his tracks, Eric realized he had backed away from them.

Silence.

He moved forward. “We can’t do this. We have to go to the police.”

Gary closed the distance between them. “Johnny’s dead and nothing can bring him back. What’s done is done. We can still have our lives, though.”

“There’s no way we’ll get away with it. We’re just high school students, not criminal masterminds.”

“Who do you think’s going to investigate this, the cast of
CSI?
This isn’t TV, it’s Red Hill. Chief Crane’s just a small town cop who hands out speeding tickets. This situation doesn’t require Lex Luthor.”

“Either you’re crazy or you’re still high, or both. No matter what we do, there will still be some evidence, something we miss.”

“It’s snowing. Look at our tracks—they’re already filling in. There’s no blood, no sign of a struggle. Nobody will know what happened here but us.”

Eric looked at Karen, sniffling and rubbing tears from her eyes.

She locked her hands together to keep them from shaking. “Do what he says.”

Swallowing, Eric looked at Johnny, then faced Gary. He shivered. “What do we do first?”

The red light parts like curtains before a movie screen.

I see them on the bridge, staring at my corpse. I see every star and snowflake in the sky; I see a snail frozen on a tree limb; pinecones littering the woods; a doe and her fawn crossing a frozen brook.

Is this what it feels like to be God?

KILL!

Diving straight at Gary, I penetrate flesh and blood and bone and find myself staring at Karen.

NO! I passed right through him!

So I pounce on her instead—with identical results
.

GODDAMN IT!

Jingling the car keys, Gary stepped over Johnny’s body and opened the car door. The dome light cast harsh shadows over Johnny’s face. Gary sat behind the wheel, closed the door, and ignited the engine. He rolled down the window to see Johnny. Eric and Karen watched him back the Death Mobile off the bridge, twenty feet from the railing. Killing the engine, he got out and rejoined them.

“Help me get him into the car.”

Eric glanced from Johnny’s corpse to the Death Mobile and back again. Stepping forward, he stopped at Johnny’s feet while Gary moved to Johnny’s head. Crouching, they looked each other in the eye. Eric’s right hand hovered above Johnny’s left knee, then touched it with tentative fingers. He looked at Johnny’s face again, half-expecting his friend to flinch or awaken.