Joker's Wild (17 page)

The sun room had been equipped with stainless steel massage tables, complicated pulleys, bars, and machines. One half of the room held a Jacuzzi and a heated water bed.

When the phone rang, Joker answered it. When the postman came, Joker took the mail. When lunchtime came, he ate with her, enticing her to take just another bite, foisting vitamins and terribletasting concoctions on her, and gradually, Allison’s body began to respond.

Joker was constantly in and out of the room, watching Allison as she went through the torture of the routines that had been prescribed, encouraging her with only a glance or a look that promised her reward after the day’s schedule was complete. And every night Joker took her to the mineral springs, touching her knee, infusing her painful joint with the special glow of his hands.

Her progress seemed to accelerate at a frantic pace. But his plan to make sure they were never alone fell apart the first week. He couldn’t stay away from her. It was as though everybody conspired to throw them together. In desperation he arranged for Sandi to stay at the house, and he manufactured excuses to be away at night, knowing that he was hurting Allison with his distance.

Allison, comfortable on her crutches now, was ready
to walk again, and it was Joker who forced her to accomplish it. His presence aggravated her, aggravated and stimulated her. He seemed consumed by the desire to make it possible for her to skate again, long after she’d decided that she’d be satisfied just to walk. And little by little she realized that he seemed more obsessed about her progress than she was. The only future he alluded to was one in which she was able to return to the ice.

By the next week Allison was so uptight that she wished Joker would spend his daytime hours in China. By the following week Allison wished
she
was in China. Was it anger, determination to show Joker that compelled her? She didn’t know. She only knew that slowly and surely she began to walk without pain. Her bruised and battered knee was beginning to heal.

It was the rest of her body that seemed to be coming unglued. She couldn’t sleep. Her appetite dwindled to nothing, and she had to force herself to go through the accelerated pace being demanded of her. Eventually her condition began to regress.

“What’s wrong, Allison?” Sandi Arnold was standing behind her in the doorway to the gazebo.

“Wrong? Why, what could be wrong? Just look at the gardens. Joker has them almost totally restored. I can walk without my crutches. I actually bent my knee without pain last night in the springs. Everything is just peachy!”

“I’m not talking about your knee. I’m talking about you. You’re wound as tight as a propeller on a toy airplane. One wrong move, and you’re going to fly off into orbit.”

“I’m fine, honest I am, Sandi. It’s just that I’m
worried about what I’m going to do next. I mean, I didn’t believe it when we started, but before long I’ll be able to do the cancan.” She managed a weak little laugh. “Do you know where an ex-ice skater can get a job as a cancan dancer?”

“It’s Joker, isn’t it? What’s happened between you two? I saw the sparks fly between King and Kaylyn the moment they met, and the day that Joker fell out of that tree I saw it happening again. I thought you two were serious. What’s wrong?”

Allison straightened her shoulders and jutted out her chin. “Oh, Sandi. I thought so too. But Joker seems to have changed his mind. I don’t think he wants me anymore.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I just ran into Joker in the courtyard, and when I asked him if there was something he wanted, he growled at me as if he were a grizzly bear. I could understand about ‘fool women who torture a man to death and ask dumb questions,’ but the part about ‘independence and mirrors of the soul’ just sailed over my head.”

“Independence?” And then it hit her full force. The idiot, the big, beautiful idiot. She was falling in love with him, but he refused to allow her to do that
because
he loved her. He was giving her the most important gift he could offer, her independence. Loving had been easy. Not loving was hard.

“I don’t know what’s happening between you two,” Sandi observed dryly, “but I think the rest of us will be glad when you make up so that we can focus on your program.”

“Oh? Well, this program has just had a change of focus. He thinks he can be noble and give me back my future without giving me any choice in the matter.
Well, we’ll see about that.” Allison pushed herself to her feet and strode down the hall. Inside the study she switched on the light and began ripping her pictures from the wall, throwing them into the fireplace one after the other.

“What are you doing?” Sandi stood watching, her face furrowed into a frown.

“I’m giving my Beast a future—me.”

“Well, cleaning house might be one way for you to get rid of your tension. But what about Joker?”

“Joker.” Allison laughed bitterly. “I hope he gets so brittle that he breaks into a thousand little pieces. I hope he finds himself a forest to chop down. Because I’m going to torture him to death—as soon as I figure out how to do it.”

Sandi leaned against the door frame and pursed her lips as if she were calculating the dimensions of the rug. “Oh, I don’t know, Allison. If there was something I really wanted, I think I could figure out a way to get it. Women are pretty devious when they want to be.”

“But if you have to be devious to get what you want, how can you be sure that you can keep it?”

“Allison, honey, if Joker’s your problem, I’m dead sure that you’re his. He’s moved heaven and earth to help you recover. Maybe it’s time for you to give something back to him. Even if he doesn’t think he ought to have it.”

“But, Sandi,” Allison admitted listlessly, “I’ve tried everything I know. I don’t know how to …”

“Horsefeathers! All women know how to, we just don’t let the men know that we do. We’re finished here for the day. I think you’ll find that everybody is going to be busy tonight when you get to the springs. Do you think you and Joker can manage alone?”

“Yes,” she said softly. “I’ll manage. I’ll do it, one way or another.”

The Sports Medicine Rehabilitation Center was deserted. There was no other vehicle in the parking area, and the lights inside the lobby were off.

“Wonder where everybody is?” Joker asked uneasily. Allison had been behaving strangely ever since he’d picked her up at the house. There’d been a kind of contained excitement about her that he hadn’t seen before.

“All Sandi said was that they’d meet us here,” Allison answered vaguely, and walked through the lobby toward the rock-walled room where the springs bubbled to the surface.

“Well, you go on and get undressed. I’ll wait for Sandi.”

“Fine,” Allison answered, casually disappearing into the darkness. “But you ought to find a suit, in case something happens and she doesn’t show up.”

Allison bit back a smile. Sandi had been right. She could be devious if she wanted to be. And she’d decided beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted Joker. It had taken her a long time to figure out his plan to give her her independence, and she loved him for it. She loved the big adorable lug. Her decision to make love to him was a measure of her new independence.

In the recessed light from the edge of the pool, Allison slipped her terry cloth robe from her body and stood by the water, completely still, completely nude. She felt the mist shower her skin with droplets of heated water.

“Joker?”

“Yes?” His voice sounded a long way off as it echoed around the room.

“Joker, would you come in here, please? I … I need you.”

Joker groaned. The last thing he wanted to do was to go into that room alone with Allison. For weeks he’d paced the edge of the rocks and watched her go through a series of exercises under the careful supervision of one person or another. He’d massaged her knee, held it in his big hands with as much control as he could muster, never giving in to the need to slide those hands up her body, to touch her breasts, to kiss her. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out. And now they were alone, the one thing he’d avoided.

“Joker, please. I’m waiting.”

“Hell! Allison, what do you need?” He pushed aside his fears, strode into the spring room, and swallowed his last rational breath of air.

“You, Jamie. I need you.”

She was standing across the room beside the springs. She was totally nude. The muted light bathed her in blue and lavender, creating a kind of halo around her. No longer thin, no longer awkward, she stood with her arms outstretched like some Grecian siren calling to her lover god.

“Ah, Beauty,” his voice dropped to a husky pitch, “why are you doing this to me?”

“I love you, you sweet man. And I need you to love me.” Boldly she put her hands on her breasts and caressed them, bringing them to tight hard peaks of desire. “I’m going crazy wanting you, Jamie.” She started toward him.

She was in his arms, and he hadn’t known that he’d moved. His kiss was savage and hard, and she returned it, giving as much as she got. And then his clothes were gone, and they were wound together, bare skin to bare skin. His tongue delved into her mouth as though he were dying and she were his only chance to live.

He pulled his lips away. “Lord, I’ve missed touching you.” With one hand he lifted her so that he could take her nipple inside his mouth. He heard her soft cry of desire as she arched herself against him.

Joker’s other hand slid down between them, touching the throbbing softness between her legs. “I’ve missed touching you here. Is this what you want from me, Beauty?”

Allison couldn’t speak. She could only give in to the delicious waves of sensations his fingers evoked. “Oh, Jamie, why? Why did you go away from me?”

“I had to. You said that you didn’t want to depend on another man. I knew you still cared about Mark. I didn’t want you to feel that way about me. You had to walk without crutches—by yourself.”

“Watch this, Jamie. Here, let me show you. Stand back.” She pulled herself out of his arms, took several steps away, whirled around triumphantly, and danced back again. “See?”

“Yes, that’s great, Beauty. I’m happy for you.”

“What’s wrong, Jamie, did I do something wrong?” She pushed herself against him, placing her hand on either side of his face and pulling him down so that she could plant slow, erotic kisses across his mouth and down his chest.

“No. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Don’t you want me anymore, Jamie?” Her heart tightened until she heard his anguished groan.

“Want you? Ah, Beauty, you’re all I want. I can’t turn away from you again.” He glanced around at the short benches and hard rock floor, then lifted her until she straddled his body as he walked down into the bubbling water.

Hungrily he kissed her, ravishing her mouth, plunging his tongue in and out with such intensity that she felt as if she were about to explode. And then he lifted her and brought her down on his rigid sex, thrusting into her until she clasped her legs around his body and held him tightly inside her.

Joker went suddenly still. He looked down at Allison, into her passion-filled eyes, at the sudden undeniable knowledge that she wanted him, truly wanted him enough to trick him into taking her. His kiss softened, and he knew in that moment, without any doubt, that he truly loved her—and would for all time.

When he began to move her up and down against him again, he felt the warmth of his touch flood over both of them. They clung to each other as the heat began to build. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He didn’t have to. As he emptied himself into her, he felt the unmistakable contractions of her body, and they both were consumed by the passion of their release.

“I hope you can walk, Jamie. I don’t think I can,” Allison said quite a while later.

“Ah, Beauty, why did you do this?” He continued to stand, still holding her, unwilling to separate himself from her.

“Why did you go away from me, Jamie?”

“I didn’t want to leave you, Beauty. I just knew that you needed to heal. It was wrong of me to play
on your physical needs. I had to stay away, or you’d become dependent on me.”

“Jamie Daniel, you fool, I’m in love with you. I never knew what that meant before. I want you in my bed. I want you inside me tonight and tomorrow night and every night after that. I’m going to become very dependent on at least one part of you. Let’s go home, darling—and hurry.”

He did. The next morning he visited the local drug store. Allison might think that she couldn’t conceive, but Joker had the feeling that she was wrong. They were courting disaster, and if by some stretch of heaven’s good wishes he was able to keep her, he didn’t want her decision to be for any other reason than love. That afternoon they had the bed in the carriage house moved into the master bedroom, and the water bed in the sun room became obsolete.

The garden bloomed. The sun shone in colors more vivid than ever before. Joker closed his eyes to the future. He’d given all he had to give—himself. He didn’t want to know what would happen when Allison was well enough to leave him. He could only love her, silently and completely. And wait for their time to end.