Read Jolly Foul Play: A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery Online
Authors: Robin Stevens
The facts in the case are these. The new Head Girl – the horrid one I’ve told you about – was found after our Bonfire Night fireworks display near the bonfire, her head bashed in and a rake lying next to her. It looked like an accident – but all the same, we think that it wasn’t an accident at all. The grown-ups are sure that Jones the handyman simply left the rake lying about, and Elizabeth stepped on it by mistake, but we don’t believe that. We think someone hit her on purpose. You see, everyone hated Elizabeth – so anyone at Deepdean would have a motive to kill her.
But here is the interesting thing: almost none of us, or any of the mistresses, could possibly have done it. All the girls were lined up on the sports field in year order, facing the fireworks, and the mistresses and Jones were standing in front of us, where we could all see them. No one could have moved from their rows without being noticed. The only people – the only girls – who weren’t standing where they could be seen were the five prefects. They were all behind us, near Elizabeth. They were supposed to be stoking the bonfire, and watching us, but any of them could have slipped over to where Elizabeth was (it was quite dark, apart from the light from the bonfire), and killed her. It’s dreadful, because the Five were supposed to be her best friends – but now that Elizabeth is dead, none of them are acting as though they are sad about it at all. In fact, they are all behaving terribly suspiciously.
Do you see why I think we may have a new mystery to investigate? The other girls in our dorm – Kitty, Beanie and Lavinia – will help me and Daisy, but I wish it would be useful to have the Junior Pinkertons on the case as well. Will you and George help?
Ask any questions and I will try to answer.
Hazel
P.S. It’s Sophie, of course.
The words faded away as soon as I had put them down, so I could not see what I had written. But despite that, I felt better than I had all evening. Just like that, I had thought my way into the case. Telling it to Alexander had truly made it like one of our logic puzzles. I imagined him frowning as he read, tugging his too-short sleeves down over his wrists, and I could feel myself smiling.
I clicked off my torch and lay there, my cheek against the paper of Alexander’s message.
When the wake-up bell went the next morning, I blinked my eyes open and for a moment forgot what had happened the night before. The familiar sick feeling settled in my chest – and then I remembered, and it lifted again, to be replaced by something else. Elizabeth was
gone
. Elizabeth was
dead
. And it might be murder.
We went down to breakfast, and I saw Beanie blush. I could tell that she felt nervous about detecting. Daisy caught her eye, and Beanie went even redder and dropped her gaze.
At breakfast, of course, whispers about Elizabeth’s death were flying about the room. At first the murmurings were kept under cover as the Five glared about terribly from their places at the heads of each table, trying to regain the control they had lost the night before. I think we were all so used to being quiet and afraid that we could hardly believe that things had changed. But then someone laughed, quite brazenly. We all froze, waiting for the punishment to descend – but nothing happened. There was another laugh, a testing one, and again nothing happened.
I looked more closely at the Five, and I saw that however they might be trying to hide it, their fear and confusion from yesterday were still there, worse than ever. Florence, at the head of the third-form table, drummed her fingers on the table top. Una was buffing her nails so hard I thought they would wear down to nothing. I could see Margaret pinching her thigh so hard that it surely must leave a bruise, and Enid, although she was head-down over a textbook, never turned a page. Lettice, at the head of our own table, was pale and tense as a string pulled tight, shredding a tiny bit of toast on her plate into smaller and smaller pieces. I never saw her take a bite, and usually, she at least pretends. The Five were changed, and the other girls could feel it. They became bolder and bolder, and the talk rose until it was nearly a roar.
I looked over at Daisy and caught her eye. She winked, very carefully, and I smiled at her. Across the table, Rose and Jose Pritchett from the other dorm were whispering with Clementine. ‘She’ll never, now! You’re quite safe!’ hissed Clementine. I knew she meant Jose, who had been due to take her punishment from Una this lunch time, for not remembering to fetch Una’s coat for her last week. Una would be too distracted to care now – in a moment, last night’s events had changed the whole school.
As well as the excitement of seeing the Five lose their power, the prospect of a new case beginning made me tingle brightly all over. As we walked down to school together I felt the same focus I’d had the night before. I could see everything: all the whispering groups, all the glances they cast at the Five. The whole world seemed to be fizzing with nervous energy, and the whole school seemed dizzy, as though today was a secret holiday. Lavinia kicked up leaves into Kitty’s face, and Kitty squealed like a shrimp, wheeling about and dashing a bundle of them into Lavinia’s face (most of them missed, and showered Beanie). I posted my letter, as slyly as I could, and I think I got away with it, for Daisy was watching Kitty, Beanie and Lavinia.
We stepped through Old Wing entrance and found it ringing with shrieks and laughter. But the excitement came with an edge. Elizabeth was not there to quell us, because Elizabeth was
dead
. I could tell that everyone was wondering who was responsible this time, and whether danger might be lurking down the next corridor, or even in their own dorm. Miss Lappet came past, and a group of third formers shrank back, and when Miss Runcible came rushing into our form room to take the register, even I felt a moment’s fluttering heart. It was hard to remember that, this time, the mistresses were not our enemies. In this case, none of them could have done it, and none of them had a motive.
To the grown-ups, Elizabeth had been a good Head Girl. Only we knew the truth. No, this time the murderer was a Big Girl – it was the Five we had to watch.
In Prayers, Miss Barnard stood up to speak, even though it was not her day for it. ‘Girls,’ she said, and everyone went very still, as though the whole hall had sucked in a breath and was waiting to let it out again. ‘Girls, I am afraid to tell you that following last night’s unfortunate accident, efforts to revive Elizabeth Hurst were unsuccessful. She has passed away. Now, I know you are all very upset by this – please, quiet, girls, let me speak – but I want to reassure you that this
was
nothing more than a very unfortunate accident, unlike … well. You must not be alarmed. You are all quite safe. A memorial service will be held for Elizabeth in due course, and I must ask that you are sensitive to the feelings of those close to her.’
Of course, that was an invitation for everyone to look at the Five again. They all stared straight ahead, and Una and Lettice even dabbed their eyes with their handkerchiefs. They were working hard to pretend – to a grown-up they might seem every inch the good prefects they ought to be – but I could see that those eyes were dry, and I could feel quite other emotions bubbling up behind their solemnity, like laughter that they could not quite hold down. Daisy gave a small scornful snort, concealed as a sneeze behind her hand, at their deception, and I nudged her with my shoe.
‘Out of respect to Elizabeth, the sports field will be closed until further notice. Now, over the next few days, I expect you to conduct yourselves as good Deepdean girls should,’ Miss Barnard went on. ‘Carry on as you would normally, be obedient to your mistresses and prefects, and help us keep the spirit of Deepdean alive and well. I do not expect to hear idle rumours in the next few days; rest assured that the only person responsible for what happened to Elizabeth will be disciplined immediately, and that no other action will be taken. I hope I have made myself clear.’
My heart clenched. What did she mean,
the only person responsible
? That could mean only one man – Jones. I glanced over at Daisy, and saw the wrinkle at the top of her nose. Daisy had thought exactly what I had, and she did not like it either.
Then the organ, played by Reverend MacLean, rumbled into life, and we all gathered up our hymn books rather haphazardly and began to sing.
‘Stop wriggling,’ said Daisy to Beanie. ‘You’ll give us away!’
‘But what did Miss Barnard mean?’ whispered Beanie. ‘It wasn’t an accident, it was mur—’
‘Shh!’ gasped Daisy. ‘I know! But we’ve been over this –
she
doesn’t know that. She could never imagine that the Head Girl might be murdered by another pupil.’
Daisy, as usual, was quite right. It was all part of what I had noticed before – that grown-ups never see the truth of what goes on among us. They have forgotten quite how difficult it is to be young.
‘You think … she’s going to blame Jones?’ I asked, the blare of the organ drowning out my voice. ‘
Walk upon England’s mountains green
, I mean.’
‘Humph!’ said Daisy. ‘Just let her! Why – that’s injustice! And the Detective Society does not stand by and allow injustice …
laaaaaaamb of God, on England’s—
Oh, Elizabeth still manages to poison everything, even from beyond the grave. I – we – simply must work out what happened to her, so we can save Jones.’
‘But what if we can’t?’ said Kitty. ‘Miss Barnard’s a grown-up. She can do what she likes –
pleasant pastures seeeeeeen
.’
‘Detectives,’ said Daisy, and her eyes were very blue as she stared at us. ‘This is not an acceptable attitude.
Bring me my spear!
Hazel and I have solved
three
murder cases, which is exactly three more than most grown-ups ever manage. We can do anything we put our minds to.’
‘
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I’m only being practical,’ Kitty said.
‘So am I,’ said Daisy darkly. ‘
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand!
We have to go and speak to Jones immediately. This is crucial!’
‘All right,’ I said. ‘We’re with you!
England’s green and pleasant laaaaaaand.
’
‘Hm,’ said Daisy, and I felt her gaze on me, as though I was a wriggling little animal under a microscope in Science. ‘Are you sure, Hazel?’
‘Of course I’m sure!’ I said. ‘Straight after Prayers! All of us!’
‘All of us!’ said Beanie.
‘All of us,’ sighed Kitty.
‘I suppose,’ grumbled Lavinia, and the hymn ended.
As soon as Prayers was over, and the lines of us were streaming out of the Hall, we ducked and dodged from form to form, Daisy in the lead, on our way to find Jones. We were heading towards the North Lawn, but we did not have to go so far – we came upon him in Library corridor. He had on his usual stained old overalls, but the scowl on his wrinkled face was unusually heavy, and his lazy right eye was more off-true than I had ever seen it. There was a bag on his back, and a rolled-up bit of canvas in his arms, and he was wearing his hat indoors.
Daisy blinked at him. ‘Jones!’ she cried. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m leaving, Miss Daisy,’ said Jones, his shoulders hunched, and his lazy eye shifted uncomfortably. ‘Headmistress’s orders.’
‘But … you can’t!’ said Daisy shrilly, not worried about being overheard, although we were in the middle of a stream of girls, and speaking to the handyman so familiarly is a terrible breach of Deepdean etiquette. ‘It wasn’t your fault that the rake was there!’
‘I’m afraid it was,’ said Jones.
Beanie gasped, and I felt upset, as though a rug had been pulled from under me. Was Jones admitting it had been his mistake after all?
Had
Elizabeth’s death been an accident, and had we merely been imagining the murder?
‘I don’t remember leaving that rake there,’ Jones went on sorrowfully. ‘I used it to sweep up some leaves on the field yesterday afternoon, before I built the bonfire, and I could have sworn I left it leaning against the pavilion before you all arrived. But then, there it was, next to Miss Elizabeth. I must be going cracked, and there’s no use for a cracked handyman at Deepdean, is there? Like Miss B says, perhaps I oughtn’t to be around you all. So I’ve agreed to go quietly. No hard feelings.’
‘No hard feelings!’ Daisy cried. ‘But … Jones—’
‘Now, Miss Daisy, don’t fret,’ said Jones. ‘You won’t even notice I’m gone. It’s kind of you to pretend, but I must be getting on. Miss Daisy. Girls. Er.’ He tipped his hat at Daisy, nodded at Kitty, Beanie and Lavinia, and stared awkwardly at my ear, and then he carried on down the corridor, towards Old Wing and the way out of Deepdean.
Daisy was left gasping in shock. For once she was not even pretending. Jones matters to her, both as part of Deepdean and (I know, although she has never said it) in his own right.
‘This is dreadful!’ she burst out. ‘This – it isn’t right! It wasn’t his fault – how can he be punished for it?’
‘Daisy,
do
you have a heart after all?’ asked Kitty.
‘I have a conscience, and so should you,’ said Daisy.