Journal of a Lifetime (Journals of Love) (20 page)

“Thanks for your help today,” Steve said without looking up.

“Sure.” Don didn’t know what else to say. “You, uh, did great.”

Steve smiled and stood up to rinse his plate off in the sink. It wasn’t much of an apology or conversation, but he’d take it as a start.

After he took a shower, Steve spent the rest of the evening in his room focusing on composing a letter to Lindsey. All he had so far was a list of questions.

He wondered why she would let him get that close if all she had wanted was a vacation fling. Why would she tell him her secrets and share many details of her life, only to leave him alone with them? None of what happened last week made any sense to him.

In frustration, Steve quickly turned off his light and climbed into bed. He tossed and turned for quite a while until he got up and opened a window. The cool breeze calmed him, as did the smell of the fresh air, and he finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Lindsey went to church late and left early. She didn’t want to explain the empty look in her eyes to her friends and family. She knew for certain she wouldn’t be able to hide the hurt from her mother.

Helen cornered her though, as she was exiting the ladies room near the side door where Lindsey was trying to sneak out.

“Honey. Where are you going?” Helen called out to her.

“I have a few things to do before work tomorrow, and I need to get an early start.”
Half true,
Lindsey convinced herself.

“I wanted to ask you how your trip was?” Helen walked closer, her rose perfume reaching Lindsey before Helen did.

“Everything went great,” Lindsey gave her the speech she had rehearsed. “The country is beautiful and I am so thankful to have been able to go.”

Helen’s eyes squinted to look beyond what Lindsey was saying. “Anything else?”

“Just that I got to feel closer to Nana.” Lindsey bit her lower lip. “Look. I’ve got to run. Can we catch up later?”

Lindsey didn’t wait for Helen’s response. She knew if she hesitated another thirty seconds, she would accuse Helen of not telling her the whole truth, and she wasn’t ready for that confrontation yet. For some reason, she didn’t feel brave today. Maybe everything from the past week had finally caught up with her.

When she returned home, she finished the Chunky Monkey ice cream. Since tomorrow would be Monday, she began to look through her briefcase to prepare for her first day back to work. When that distraction didn’t work, she checked her e-mails, and returned a few. When those ten minutes had passed, she sat at the kitchen table alone, wondering what to do next.

With her laptop open in front of her, she found herself looking up Don’s sister Julie. She didn’t know why, but she followed the whim.

Julie was easy to find. Lindsey wrote down her phone number and address for later. She didn’t know if “later” would present itself, but if her bravery returned, she would call and ask about Julie and Steve.

Not that her intent was to get Steve into trouble or to punish him, but she wanted to either confirm or deny what Don had told her. She stared at the phone number and shook her head.

In another attempt at distraction, she took her walk a little early and picked some wildflowers from the empty field down the street. The temperature was heating up and the high humidity was wrecking her hair. Her usual wavy curls were tightening up and frizzing against her head.

When she returned, she took a lukewarm shower to cool off. After eating all the ice cream earlier in the evening, she wasn’t hungry now so she brushed her teeth in preparation for sleep. As she replaced the cap on the tube of toothpaste, she wondered if Steve squeezed the tube from the middle and if he replaced the cap.

The thought surprised her. She hadn’t contemplated living with someone before.

Lindsey’s nightgown was thin, but she still opened the window in the bedroom. A cool summer night made for an easy sleep, but with tonight’s humidity, she also decided to turn on the box fan in the window. Thankfully, the whirring of the fan blades produced a rhythm that lulled her to sleep. It was early, but she’d need the extra sleep for her work tomorrow.

T
HE FOURTH DAY
after Lindsey, Steve awoke early from a fitful night of attempted sleep. It seemed his soul was crying out for Lindsey, and he knew he would have to make contact soon. He needed to hear the truth from her, if only to ease the doubts in his mind. That was the only way he’d be able to move forward.

He had been confident that if Lindsey had left in a hurry, such as for an emergency, she would have called him. Her silence only confirmed to Steve that she did not have feelings for him. Maybe Don was telling the truth.

The new tour group arrived from California. This group all worked together, so the energy on the bus was high. Steve could hardly conduct his tour over their conversations. He was thankful for the noise though, and work continued on.

He and Don played their characters to the max. They joked and teased and it felt as if nothing had changed, but Steve still felt the resentment in his heart and knew he hadn’t forgiven Don yet. That sin made Steve feel terrible. He was usually quick to forgive and forget, and didn’t allow things to hang around on his conscience. When he erred, he was quick to ask for forgiveness as well. But Don’s betrayal was too large for a quick fix.

Steve was alone on the bus, reading his Bible, when Joann stepped onto it later that afternoon.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure. What’s up?” He smiled at her, trying not to appear surprised. He had been searching everywhere for reminders of God’s control. Proverbs 16:1,9 stuck out to him: “To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue . . . In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines the steps.”

Joann sat down on the seat across from him. She looked . . . perturbed. “I really don’t know how to begin, but I have something important to tell you.”

He closed his Bible. “Go ahead, Joann.” He furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

She took a deep breath and swallowed. “I should have told you this sooner,” she admitted. “But I got caught up in it too. Plus, you know I’m still a little upset you rejected me.”

Steve nodded. “I know. You are a lovely woman, just not the one that I saw myself spending the rest of my life with. If we were younger, I would have gone out with you in a heartbeat.” He lamely tried to patch things over.

“I understand. That’s why what I did is all the more awful.” She hesitated.

“It can’t be that bad. What is it?” Steve encouraged.

“I helped Don get rid of Lindsey,” she blurted out. “I packed up her room, and took her bags to him. He held her against her will, told her all kinds of lies about you and sent her on her way,” she paused. “He even told her you and Julie were engaged.”

There was a pause. Steve blinked.

Joann swallowed. “I’m really sorry, Steve. I should never have—”

She didn’t expect Steve’s reaction.

“I knew it!” he exclaimed as he jumped up. “I knew she wouldn’t find him attractive, or throw herself at him and then just leave!”

Joann should have known better than to expect anger or bitterness from Steve. He continually surprised her in the way that he lived his life. He was a good man.

“Can you forgive me?” she asked quietly.

“Forgive you?” he asked. “God bless you for telling me what happened.” He kissed her on the cheek before running down the steps. “I’m going to go get her!” he shouted.

Joann watched him dance away. “You’re a lucky woman, Lindsey,” she whispered.

Steve didn’t want to waste a minute dealing with Don. He had no idea how his best friend could have been so resentful and jealous that he’d have to make up stories just to tear his relationship with Lindsey apart. At this point, none of that mattered. What mattered to Steve was that it had been real between Lindsey and himself.

He could trust his heart to guide him and prayed that would be enough.

He ran down the hill to his apartment without looking back. Let Don deal with an afternoon of touring by himself. That should fix him for a little while. At least he would be too busy to interfere.

He quickly packed a small duffle bag full of clothes. He didn’t even know if any of the clothes matched, he just wanted to get out of there and get to Lindsey, before he lost her for good.

The taxi arrived to take him to the airport. He called his grandfather on the way.

“Hello?”

“Hey Grandpa. I’m on my way to bring Lindsey home!” he yelled.

“Go get her, boy. We’ll be rooting for you.”

“Are you doing any better?”

“A little. The doctor’s think I’ll be able to go home tomorrow. I should be up and moving by the time the Calgary Stampede comes through. They think I might have a touch of blood sugar problems, but they want to rule out anything more serious, so more tests were taken last night.”

“Well, I’ll call you when I can. Will you tell Dad where I’m off to?” Steve didn’t want to get into a huge discussion with his father. He still wasn’t sure of all his dad knew about his father’s past, and he wouldn’t understand Steve’s desire to travel all the way to Michigan for a woman.

“Yeah. He’s going to be here within the hour, so I’ll let him know. Be careful, and no regrets.”

Lindsey left early for work and tried to have a positive attitude. She usually enjoyed her job and her route, but her emotions were so buried right now her joy wasn’t able to break through.

Fortunately today would be spent in the office. She could catch up on paperwork and plan her routes for the week without having much face-to-face contact with others.

“Hey, Lindsey. How was your trip?” her boss asked when she walked in the door.

Lindsey smiled. “It was good, Stan. How did everything go here?” Lindsey surprised herself during her trip. She hadn’t thought about work more than once, and that was only to explain to Steve what she did for a living.

“Fine. Michelle took your route and things went smooth. I didn’t have any complaints, so that made me happy.”

”I knew they’d like her,” Lindsey said as she placed her briefcase on her desk. “Anything else I should know, before . . . ?” She waved her hand across her desk.

“No. It’s good to have you back, though. I can relax more knowing that you’ll handle things.”

Lindsey appreciated the compliments. She started to relax too knowing that someone felt she was right where she needed to be, even though she was having doubts.

The day progressed quickly. It was lunch time before she knew it and Marie was calling.

“Hey, Marie. What’s going on?”

“Just checking on you today. Are you doing OK?”

“The morning flew by. I’m thankful to have work to focus on today. I hope the rest of this week goes by just as fast.”

“Pete and I are meeting for dinner at Luke’s around seven. We’d like you to join us. If you’re feeling up to it.”

Lindsey’s initial reaction was to decline, but she heard the excitement in Marie’s voice, so she agreed. It also gave her something to look forward to tonight, other than another pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream.