Journal of a Lifetime (Journals of Love) (9 page)

Steve directed Lindsey to the place with the best view, the upper deck, and the three of them found seats together. A young, female voice boomed out over the speaker system.

“Welcome to Lake Minnewanka, which translates as ‘Water of the Spirits.’ The lake has been through many changes, including glaciers taking on most of the water, to a complete ice over which stilled the water’s life, and then melted into a rebirth. On our left is a small marsh that’s home to ducks, geese and coyote, elk and deer. The meadow on the right is much more beautiful since it’s been cleaned in an effort to eliminate the garbage-seeking bears that used to gather there.”

Lindsey wished she could have Nana’s journal out in front of her, but knew that the words she heard were what were written down.

“We begin near Bankhead, which was an old coal mining town. The lake is 466 feet deep and contains many trout and white fish. As we travel along, look for the bears and big horned sheep that will be out in search of food.

“The glacier in the lake reflects green instead of the usual blue. I’m sure you noticed the different color. The beaches you see are actually what we call false beaches. The water level is low, but it rises when the mountain snow melts.”

Lindsey heard the guide reciting facts about possible avalanches and how far above sea level they were, but she couldn’t concentrate on what was said. Steve sat on one side of her and Don on the other, and she was beginning to feel like a third wheel. Don seemed so threatened by her presence.

Steve pointed out the incredible forest along the banks of the lake. “There was a controlled fire here in 1987. The seeds expelled at the high heat, which resulted in this beautiful growth.”

Don jumped right in, not wanting to be topped. “It’s almost eighty-six percent pollution free here, and the air is completely replenished every seven years. The mountains and the trees are able to maintain this high quality for us.”

The woman’s voice broke in over the loudspeaker. “Eagles mate for life. They have two eggs every two years. Unfortunately, they only feed one of the babies.”

“That’s terrible,” Lindsey said. “I never knew that about eagles. No wonder they’re in danger of extinction. They’re bringing it on themselves.” She shuddered at the thought of not taking care of one of the babies.

Steve leaned in toward her. “That’s not the worst part. What the guide failed to mention is that the father eats the other baby,” he finished with disgust.

Lindsey didn’t have a chance to respond, as Don took that moment to place his hand on her knee. She jerked her knee away in response and bumped shoulders with Steve, the surprise nearly knocking him out of his seat.

“Oh . . . I’m sorry, Steve.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you Lindsey,” Don said. “I only wanted to point out the climbers on Devil’s Gap.”

“I don’t see anything.” Lindsey tried to pretend she wasn’t shaken.

Steve took her hand into his and pointed towards the crag. “Do you see those small dots of color?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“Those are the climber’s helmets,” he told her.

“They look so small!” She was surprised.

The female voice broke in again. “Devil’s Gap is coming up. It is a path carved through the Rockies by a glacier. It is a known gathering for climbers in both the summer and the winter.”

At that moment, Lindsey heard a wolf howling. The sound carried over the water and she couldn’t tell from which direction it was coming.

“I think it’s up ahead at the dam,” Don said in response to her unasked question. “We’ll be turning around in a moment to head back.” He stood up to stretch. “I’m going below for a drink. Would you all like me to bring you something?”

“No. I’m fine for now. Thanks,” Lindsey responded.

“I’m good too, partner. Thanks.”

Steve was grateful to be getting time alone with Lindsey, and turned to her after Don walked away. “I’ve been thinking about you since last night,” he admitted.

Lindsey was still a little bristly at the thought that Steve had been out partying all night. She didn’t think he was that type of guy. “I didn’t think you’d have much time with all the partying you were doing.”

“What are you talking about?” He pulled back and looked at her.

“Don told me you were out all night at a party for a friend, and that’s why you were late this morning.”

Steve was shocked. He wondered why Don would lie. “Lindsey, I don’t know what he’s talking about. After I left you, I drove to my apartment in town, had a snack, and went straight to bed. I knew we had a long day today and wanted to be ready for it.”

Lindsey believed he was telling the truth.

“Why would Don tell me that then?” she asked.

Steve’s eyebrows lifted, which gave him a wild look. “I don’t know. He was the one who didn’t get home until after two in the morning. Maybe he forgot I wasn’t with him?” He tried to make a joke of it.

She turned toward him. “I know you’ve been friends for a long time, but he’s making me feel a little—”

Don’s voice interrupted them. “Here we go!” He set a tray of lemonade out in front of them. They both looked up, surprised he was back so soon. “What did I miss?”

Steve’s patience was wearing thin, but he didn’t want to discuss things in front of Lindsey. “Don? Can I talk to you for a minute?” He stood up and pulled Don away.

“Sure, partner. What’s going on?”

Lindsey couldn’t hear the rest of their conversation, but when Steve returned, Don wasn’t with him.

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah, I just explained to him that I wanted to spend time alone with you.” He shook his head. “I can’t understand what’s gotten into him lately. He’s never lied before and his behavior has been just plain rude.” He shook his head again.

He knew they didn’t have too much alone time, and he didn’t want to waste it discussing Don.

“Can I ask you the usual questions?” he asked and looked into her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You know. Like, when’s your birthday? What’s your favorite color? Do you like movies, music, books? Those types of things.”

Lindsey laughed. “My birthday is October twenty-first. My favorite color is blue. I like comedy movies, all kinds of music, and mystery books. What about you?”

“Ok. My birthday is June fifth. My favorite color is green. I too like comedies, but also a good western. My taste in music has been a little odd lately, I’ve been enjoying classic rock and reggae, and I rarely have a chance to read anything other than my Bible,” he told her.

“Your birthday is tomorrow?” she exclaimed.

“I know. I almost forgot the date until just now.”

“Won’t your family be celebrating with you?”

“Not when we’re in the middle of a tour. We’ll get together next weekend for cake and ice cream. You know, the older we get the less we need to celebrate.”

Lindsey pursed her lips. “Maybe we could do something special tomorrow. We always make a big deal of birthdays in my family, and I’d enjoy making you happy.”

She was shocked at her forwardness, but Steve didn’t answer, so Lindsey put the thought away for later. She knew she’d find something she could do just for him.

“I used to come fishing here with my dad when I was younger,” Steve told her. “In the future, I hope to bring my son out here with me too.”

Lindsey suddenly looked at him in a different light. She could certainly see him as a father and knew he’d be a good one. He was patient and kind and had been very respectful with her. He would make a good husband too.

They sat in a comfortable silence for the remaining ten minutes as the boat traveled through Ghost Lake and returned them to the dock.

“Let me help you.” Steve reached for Lindsey’s arm to help her off the boat. She took his hand, but had to let go when she got down, as the other passengers expected him to do the same for them.

Don was waiting for her near the end of the dock. “Did you enjoy the trip?” he asked, and began walking beside her.

“I did, it was lovely. Thank you,” she responded curtly.

“I wanted to tell you that Steve just got out of a long term relationship. He’s a little jaded and probably isn’t ready for anything serious.”

Lindsey stopped walking.
Serious?
She thought.
I’ve just met him.
“Why are you doing this?” She couldn’t help feeling angry now. “Have I offended you in some way?”

“Whoa. Calm down, girly. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“What did you call me?” She couldn’t believe how offensive this man was being. “I am a passenger on your bus. I have paid for your time, your knowledge, and your consideration. If you continue to mistreat me, I will call your boss and complain.”

Don laughed. “I don’t think so. Because when he calls me, I will have to explain to him that Steve has crossed the line with a passenger. That is most definitely grounds for being fired.”

Lindsey was shocked. She hadn’t thought of that before. She didn’t know how to respond, so she just walked away.

Martha and Joyce were making their way across the parking lot and saw that Lindsey was upset. Martha pulled Lindsey to the side.

“What’s the matter honey?”

“Don is being rude and insensitive. I don’t know what his problem is with me.”

“We noticed he’s not leaving you and Steve alone. Honey, he’s just jealous that you’re taking his best friend away.”

“But it really seems to be more than that. I can understand being threatened and jealous, but he’s being downright nasty.” She paused and then growled in frustration. “Grrrr, I just don’t need this right now! This trip was my chance to find something I’d lost, and I’m being distracted on all sides.”

Martha and Joyce told her they would be on the lookout for anything inappropriate and would try and protect her as best they could, but Lindsey told them she could handle things. She didn’t want to ruin their vacation with worries about her.

When they returned to the bus, Lindsey remained quiet and didn’t dare look in Don’s direction.

“We hope you enjoyed the lake today. We are now on our way to the Hoo Doos,” Steve began. “The Hoo Doos are rock formations that were formed by thousands of years of erosion. The Blackfoot Indians believed the Hoo Doos were sacred, and home to spirits.” He finished and took his seat next to Lindsey.

The mood on the bus was quiet as if the passengers could feel the tension between the three of them. Usually the passengers chatted and asked Steve questions, but after the lake, they all seemed lost in their own thoughts. Maybe it was the calm from the lake, or the tension they felt, but it was unsettling and disrupted the rhythm they had all fallen into.

Steve and Lindsey usually sat with their knees touching, but after the challenging emotional events of the morning, that small intimacy had disappeared. The two faced away from each other. Lindsey looked out the window to the left of her, and Steve looked out the front window, as if in preparation for the next events to come.

T
HE PASSENGERS ARRIVED
at the Hoo Doos with their instructions that they were allowed thirty minutes to walk around and take photographs before Don and Steve served lunch.

Lindsey was thankful the men were busy, and she could have some time for herself. She had been warned not to touch the formations, so she took a lot of pictures instead. The feeling near the rocks was one of strength and adaptation at the same time. She knew the land shifts here happened so gradually that one would hardly be able to see them over the years, but there were definitely changes, mostly on the surface that didn’t affect the foundation. She wondered if that was life, or if life was in the reverse. Did most changes happen internally without affecting the outward appearance? Or did the aging process of wrinkles and gray hair not change the youthful person within?

In her Nana’s case, she believed it was the latter. She knew Nana felt young and vibrant until near the end. Lindsey prayed that she would be as fortunate to live a full life as her Nana had done.

She looked toward Steve where he was setting up the food. He noticed her and waved. She waved back and continued on to find a quieter place for her current reflective mood.

This was what she had wanted from this trip: to gain perspective on life and death. She hadn’t counted on learning about love, though, and couldn’t help but wonder if Steve was the one to discover things with.

She hesitated out of fear of losing another person who was important to her. She was reluctant to allow herself to feel more than friendship toward Steve, because then she was vulnerable to the pain and heartbreak that could result.

Control was difficult for her to give up, and her emotions felt out of control where Steve was concerned.

Lindsey found a large, flat, gray rock to sit on and set her bag down behind her to use as a pillow. She laid back and, as she always did when she felt overwhelmed, began to pray. The sun felt warm against her cheeks as if God were surrounding her with his love. She was comfortable and didn’t want to move too much, so she reached under her head and retrieved her Bible from her bag.

The verse she opened to was one of her favorites, Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”