Journey of Honor A love story (18 page)

It took him forever to unhitch and move the stock into the scant shelter of the hill, and the mule balked even when all he was trying to do was give it a bait of grain to augment the meager feed nearby. By the time Trace finally headed to the wagon, he decided they were going to have to make do with cold leftover bread and meat for dinner, because it would have taken all night just to get a fire started in this mess. He climbed into the back of the wagon and paused to take off his streaming slicker, wondering why Giselle hadn’t lit the lantern yet. He had his slicker off and was starting on his boots when he realized that she wasn’t even in the wagon at all. He leaned out of the flaps to look around and see where she had gone. He couldn’t see a thing in the dark and the storm, and hurried to pull his slicker back on so that he could help her get back in and dry as soon as possible.

Walking through the sleet and the rain, he called her name repeatedly and had just begun to truly worry, when he literally tripped over her in the dark. She was sitting on the ground just beside the wagon wheel that she usually used to climb into the wagon, and she had her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them and was fast asleep. When he touched her, he was horrified to realize that she actually had a layer of ice on her head. It shattered under his hand, and without even bothering to try to rouse her, he picked her up and laid her on the wagon seat and began to undress her so fast that he accidentally ripped some of her buttons off in his haste.

Giselle was cold, far too cold, and the fact that she didn’t even respond to being picked up and undressed scared him. She was still so weak from the loss of blood that it wouldn’t take much for her to freeze to death like this. When she was free of her dress and petticoats, he set her inside the wagon box, climbed in beside her, and removed her boots and stockings as well. He put her in the bed and hurried to take off his dripping slicker and boots and rooted around for a towel.

As he was rubbing her hair and skin with the towel to try to get her blood moving again, she finally roused enough to moan and try to move away from his brisk treatment. She opened her eyes and looked up at him sleepily and said, “I’m cold, Trace. Will you hold me?”

He pulled her head against his chest for just a moment and answered under his breath, “Yes, I’ll hold you, Elley. Stay with me, girl. And please forgive me in the morning, but we’ve got to get you warm.” She was well on her way to freezing to death, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it except warm her up with his own body heat on this frigid, wet night. At this point, he was grateful that he’d had to do so much physical labor. Dry under his slicker as he’d been, the struggle had kept him warm even in the bitter cold, and that warmth was the only thing that was going to save her life tonight.

He stripped off his own gear down to his long underwear and climbed beneath the quilts with her. Her cotton underclothes were soaking as well, and in frustration, he removed them, working as fast as he could, and then wrapped his whole body around her to try to share his warmth. She was so cold that she wasn’t even shivering, and swearing in his concern for her, he sat up and pulled off his long handles too and gathered her back into his arms.

He could finally feel how frighteningly cold she was, and he wondered if he was already too late. Her hands and feet were like ice and he hesitated to even rub them for fear of injuring them if they had already frozen. He pulled the blankets up over their heads and wrapped his body around hers as well as he could and tried to get her to wake up. He was afraid that she would simply go to sleep and die on him.

After what seemed like hours, Giselle finally began to shiver and her teeth began to chatter together painfully hard. Now he was thoroughly chilled through too, just from trying to warm her, and his teeth chattered as well. She woke up enough to talk to him, and she began to cry into his chest as she shivered. She kept trying to pull her hands away, and he knew that they were beginning to tingle and hurt miserably as the blood began to move through them again. He hugged her to him gently and tried to talk to her to explain that she needed to stop fighting him and help him warm her, but it was a long time before she finally understood and lay still, sobbing quietly against him.

It was deep into the night before he felt like she was actually more warm than cool against him. He still rubbed her gently and moved his legs around hers to warm her on all sides, while he slowly and carefully rubbed her hands and arms to try to get warmth to them.

He felt like he’d been at this for an eternity when she sighed against him and whispered, “Thank you, Trace. For saving me again. Isn’t it nice not to have to wrestle with all those clothes for once? Tonight is the first time I don’t feel like a
flanel bord geschiedenis
.” She turned onto her side and snuggled against him like a set of spoons, gently sighed one more time and went to sleep.

For the first time that night he was comfortable with letting her rest. The storm outside raged against the canvas wagon cover, and now that they were safely inside and warm and dry, it was almost a comforting sound. It made the wagon and their nest of thick quilts feel like a cocoon again, insulated from the rest of the world around them. He sighed as well, pulled her tight into his arms, and let his own completely exhausted body drift off, wondering what in the world a
flanel bord geschiedenis
was.

When he woke up the next morning, the storm had blown itself out and it was full light outside. He had been awake for hours in the night trying to warm her, and the hellacious day and late night had combined to make him sleep much later than usual. As he slowly came awake, it took him a minute or two to understand why he felt so incredibly happy and comfortable this morning. When Giselle moved in the circle of his arms, he understood his peaceful, happy mood.

Now this was the way to start out the day! He put a hand flat across her belly and pulled her tighter against him and breathed in the sweet smell of her. She wrapped a leg around his and mumbled something dreamily in Dutch.

She went straight back to sleep again, and in fact, he wondered if she had even really been awake when she had said it. He hoped she still felt that mellow when she realized he had undressed her and spent the night trying to warm her with his own body heat. He yawned and stretched and decided he’d done what had to be done; he’d done his best to help her and he was so incredibly comfortable right then that he wasn’t even going to waste this morning worrying.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d lain there enjoying her before she woke up, but finally he knew that she was awake. Her back was to him, so it was impossible to tell what she was thinking and he’d almost begun to worry about her reaction when she stretched lazily and turned in his arms towards him. Her pretty blue eyes looked up at him and she smiled shyly. “Good morning, Trace.” She snuggled over tight to him, and though he could no longer see her eyes, he knew that he didn’t need to be worrying anymore when she asked, “Do we have to get up today? Or can we just stay like this forever?”

He chuckled as he put a hand up to finger her hair. “I don’t know about forever, but I think we’ll be fine for a while. How are you feeling this morning?”

She stretched again and sighed. “Very tired and a little achy and stiff.” She rested a hand on the muscle of his chest. “And happy.” She paused and then said, “You saved me again, didn’t you? What happened?”

He shook his head. “I don’t even know for sure. I found you sitting next to the wagon with ice on your head, sound asleep. I thought you had come in to change, but when I got in here, I couldn’t find you.” He hesitated again. “Please forgive me for undressing you, but I had to. I was afraid that you were going to freeze to death.”

She leaned her head into him and said, “I don’t remember what happened either except that I thought you were trying to kill me for a while last night. My hands hurt so badly. I’m sorry I got so upset at you.”

“It’s all okay. I’m sorry I was hurting you and kept waking you up. I had to, but I’m still sorry. How are your hands this morning?”

She slid them out from under the quilts and turned them back and forth for him. “They’re dry. And stiff, but they’re okay thanks to you.” She put them back under the covers again and turned onto her side against him. “I’m not usually in need of so much rescuing as I have been on this trip. I used to pride myself on doing at least my share, but this is about the fortieth time that you’ve saved me. Thank you. I’ll never be able to get out of your debt I’m afraid.”

He let out a deep breath and pulled her closer again. “We’ve both done our fair share, Giselle. You’ve more than pulled your weight. In fact, I wish you hadn’t been so concerned with that. It may have cost you your sweet little babies.” He put a hand on her belly again. “That’s too high a price for doing your portion. I’ve saved you, but all the way across you’ve made this trip easier and more organized by what you’ve done. We’d have never gotten so far, so quickly, without you.”

She looked up at him. “Are we going to make it, Trace? Before the deep snow?”

“We’re going to make it, Elle. Before the snow remains to be seen, but we’re only days from your valley. We’ll make it even if we have to walk in on snowshoes.”

“But what about you making it over the California mountains?”

He shrugged. “We’ll do our best. That’s all we can do. Mose and I may have to wait out the winter somewhere. We’ll just have to see.” He didn’t tell her that he hoped they got stranded in her valley for the winter. Actually admitting out loud that they were only days from leaving each other made his heart shrivel up. Especially holding her like he was this morning. Walking away from her was going to kill him. He didn’t even want to think about it and tried to change back to happier thoughts. It was crazy to waste this only time that he’d get to have her by him this way.

She must have been thinking too, because she was quiet as well and they just lay together, snuggled up in the peace and warmth of the quiet morning. Holding her like this was the ultimate in sweet, but it was also the ultimate in taking all of his self control. Lately, when they’d lain by each other in the night, when he struggled with wanting more from her, he’d begun to pray for strength when it got difficult. Even as nice as her body was, he automatically began to ask for that extra help to take his mind off the fact that she was so pretty and soft and desirable. He tried to just enjoy her without being frustrated, but it took him a while.

Finally, he relaxed and could bask in her again and was doing just that when he heard Dog begin to growl. He groaned right out loud and wanted to swear. He did
not
want to move right now because of some stupid, love-sick Indian brave. “That cussed Indian.” He groaned again and leaned up on an elbow. “Sometimes I almost wish that you weren’t the world’s most exquisite woman, Elle. Is he ever going to give up on you?”

She looked up at him with big eyes when he said that and he laughed at her. “I’m just kidding, Giselle. I’d never want you to be plain, but Jehoshaphat, he’s persistent!” He touched her face gently and leaned down and kissed her once, long and slow. “It was awful wondering if you were freezing to death, but this has been about the nicest morning of my life. Thanks.”

With that, he pulled back the covers and slipped out and reluctantly began to pull his long underwear back on, grumbling as he did so. “Stupid Indian. I’ve told him seven thousand times that I’m never going to let you go. You’d think he’d get the message, thick-headed imbecile. It’s not like I’ve ever been hesitant when I’ve turned him down. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll still be dogging us when you’re old and gray.”

He looked over at her where she was watching him dress, still with those wide, blue eyes. He had the long handles up to his waist and reached for his stockings and boots. Pulling the boots on without lacing them up, he reached over and cupped her cheek. “Sorry, Elle. I guess I can’t really blame him. You are pretty desirable. I’m sure he’s never seen anyone like you before. I know I haven’t.”

*****

He stood up and put both hands on the edge of the wagon box and vaulted out. She sat up to watch him through the end of the wagon cover as he strode away towards where Many Feathers sat on his horse. He immediately tore into the Indian in a disgusted tone of voice doing up his buttons. Trace was going on and gesturing both back at the wagon and at his clothes. As he did this Giselle was surprised to see Many Feathers actually blush under his dusky skin.

At that, she blushed herself. She lay back down, wondering what exactly Trace had just told the man in his tirade. She didn’t understand the language, but she was pretty sure Trace had just sworn at the brave in his own tongue. At least that was the distinct impression she got from his tone of voice. She smiled at Trace as she thought back on the last little while since she had awakened next to him. She blushed again as she thought about how good it had felt to have him so close. He was right. This was about the nicest morning of her life, too. It would be heaven to be able to wake up next to him like that forever.

Sighing, she mentally shook herself. She shouldn’t let her thoughts go there. He had just reminded her that they had only days left until she would probably never see him again. Pausing before she got up to dress, she wondered how in the world she was ever going to face being the second wife of an older man when she got to the valley after being with Trace like this. She sat up and tucked the blankets under her arms. It was going to be awful. Remembering the muscles of his chest under her hands this morning, she shook her head. She didn’t think she could even do it.

The brethren were probably going to be completely disgusted with her, but she honestly didn’t think that marrying another man was an option after the way she had grown to love Trace. And after some of the things he’d said just now, she was a little mixed up. He almost acted like he really loved her, and even said things from time to time that sounded like forever. But she knew he still had every intention of trying to reach California after dropping her in the valley,—which was probably for the best anyway, because he wasn’t a member of the church.