Journey of Honor A love story (25 page)

Following the stream wasn’t an option here, and they snow shoed with their packs while the mules and cows bucked through the drifts as well as they could beside them. It was a grueling go, and they had to stop often to let the stock rest and by late that afternoon they had only come a few miles for all their struggle. Trace found a hollow at the base of a huge old cedar tree, built a tent of sorts, and spread out their bedding inside. He tied the stock nearby and all four of them lay right down in the snow when they were unloaded.

During the night, the wind whipped the tarp that made up their tent, and the next morning they found their bedding covered in inches of snow. Although they’d stayed dry in their sleep, the bedding had become partially sodden, and as they traveled that day, it froze into solid wads. That night they were in a snow cave again, but with damp bedding they were so cold that even snuggled together they shivered the whole night through again. Mid morning of the next day, when he spotted a sizable cave, Trace stopped for the day and built a roaring fire to dry out their bedding. They let the stock eat in the creek bottom, and once their bedding was warmed through, they went right to bed in the middle of the afternoon to try to make up for their sleepless night the night before.

They slept right through, and in the deepest dark before dawn, Dog began to growl. At first, Giselle just thought that it was Many Feathers again, but then they heard coyotes and knew they were after their snow-bound stock. Trace went out with the rifle and rescued the calf from them. The coyotes had been able to stay on top of the snow and to maneuver much more nimbly, and if it hadn’t been for Dog, the calf would have been lost. As it was, she had to be patched up, and they wondered if she would make it this time through the last rigors of this trip.

That was the morning they saw the first signs of travel over the road from the valley. Someone was ahead of them on the trail, and from time to time from high spots they could see either part of the trail or smoke coming from chimneys in the surrounding hills. Giselle was both thrilled and sad. These past days had pushed her beyond what she had thought she could handle and the thought of civilization at last was enough to make her think she would live through this. Then she would remember she had to tell him goodbye and she wished they were a thousand miles from the valley.

It was a good thing that there was light at the end of the tunnel because a storm hit that afternoon that was an arctic gale. Trace had seen it coming, but hadn’t found anywhere that looked suitable to get the stock some shelter, and they kept on into the face of the driven snow for hours. When it was too dark to see, they gave up and burrowed into a snow cave and left the poor animals right out in it. Giselle felt terrible about it and prayed for them over and over when she stirred in the night. The next morning she wanted to be up and gone so that they could find a way to help the animals as soon as possible.

The storm still raged and all of them, man and beast alike, were covered with a layer of crusted snow over their hair and clothes within minutes. Visibility was next to nil and it was a stroke of luck that they found the opening to a mine in the canyon beside the trail. Trace herded the animals in and then brushed off Giselle’s cloak and hair and went right back out into it to find firewood. He was gone so long that she was starting to go look for him when he showed up with parts of two trees to burn. They started a fire near the mine opening, cooked a hot meal, and spread out their bed, unbelievably grateful to be in out of that blinding, wind-driven snow and ice.

As they went to lie down, Giselle asked, “How much further, Trace? Do you have any idea?”

He pulled her into his arms and thought about it and said, “I’ve only been to your valley one time. The other times we went a different route, but as far as I can remember, we should get there tomorrow or the next day. Unless the weather stays like this. If it does I think we should stay right here.”

He met her eyes and she repeated, “Tomorrow or the next day.” This was it then. They had almost made it, but that revelation broke her heart into pieces. She turned her back to him and snuggled close and tried not to let him know she was crying. Tomorrow or the next day. It felt like the end of the world.

The wind died down in the middle of the night and it was so quiet it woke both of them up. She knew he was awake, but she didn’t say anything to him. She didn’t have any idea what to say. Those months ago, his asking her to agree to marry him and then have it annulled had seemed like the perfect answer. Tonight it felt like the most cruel thing in the world.

She turned over and put her face against his chest. She should have been trying to talk him into staying married. Whether he was leaving or a member or not, she should have tried to make this wonderful friendship be strong enough to keep it a marriage, but now it was too late. She breathed against him and tried to memorize that smell. She wanted to be able to remember it for all the rest of her life.

Her mind kept repeating the word Goodbye over and over and it felt like a nightmare, but she knew she was wide awake. Thinking he had gone back to sleep, she pressed a tender kiss to his chest and got up out of the bed and stoked the fire. She went to look out the front of the mine opening at the beautiful, still, cold night. It was too painful to stay there in bed beside him.

Knowing her thoughts were going to make her an emotional wreck, she tried to organize a plan in her head for her life, both in the next few days and long term. She was basically alone in the world now, or would be when Trace headed out, and she needed to know what she was going to do with herself. She had some money of her own, so she should be able to support herself at least for a while.

Before, she had assumed she would come to Zion and find a husband and settle down, but that wasn’t an option anymore. At least not right off. Even if that’s what the brethren recommended, there was no way she could face something like that so soon after Trace. She was going to have to figure out how to get him out of her heart and head first. She’d have to find a house or have one built and eventually find a way to make a living until she could face marriage at some point.

She was standing there trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces when Trace came up to stand behind her quietly. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned his chin on her head and looked out at the snowy canyon with her. Neither one of them said anything. What could you say at a time like this?

They stood there until they were both shivering and then they turned and got back into bed, still without saying a word. Once there, Trace wrapped his arms around her like he never wanted to let go and she met him more than half way. It was like they had to fit the huge amount of emotion they were feeling into the short couple of hours before dawn.

Even staying in bed longer than usual didn’t satisfy the emotional maw they were in danger of falling into. She had never been so frustrated in her life when they strapped back on the snowshoes and started down the snowbound trail. The sun had come out in a glorious display of sparkling diamonds on the snow, and its blinding brightness felt like it was mocking them as they trekked along.

The visibility was boundless and they could see a person coming on the trail ahead of them for miles. It was a single person and a pair of pack mules, and it was like a clarion call that they were at the end of the trail.

They’d been watching the lone figure trudge along for hours, just like they were through the exhausting snow, when she heard Trace whisper, “Mose.” He turned to Giselle. “That’s Mose! I’d know that walk anywhere!” He put his fingers to his lips and let go a shrill whistle and within seconds the lone figure sent an answering whistle back. Dog took off bounding over the snow towards him and Trace turned and gave Giselle a huge, happy hug. “That’s Mose!”

When they finally made it to him, watching this reunion brought tears to her eyes. These two were closer than brothers, and their happiness at seeing each other again was overwhelming. Giselle stood to the side for a second and then Mose turned to her and picked her up in another huge bear hug. “Miss Giselle. I had plumb forgotten just how beautiful you were. It’s so good to see you made it!”

She laughed at him through her tears. “You never doubted that we’d make it, did you, Mose? You should know Trace can do anything he puts his mind to.”

“That I do, Miss Giselle. That I do. I never doubted for a minute, I just wondered if you needed a little help is all. The weather turned off and I thought I’d come and bring you all some warm clothes and gear. I didn’t know if you’d have your grandparents or a baby with you.” Sadly, Giselle shook her head.

There was a moment of strained silence, and Trace wrapped his arm around her and gave her a small hug. Then he slapped Mose on the back and tried to be upbeat as he said, “You old codger! We came through fine. Giselle is so tough that a little nasty weather is nothing. She just puts her face into the wind and heads out.”

They talked and joked for a few more minutes and then turned and headed back the way Mose had come. They got quieter as they got winded from the drifts in the trail and by dark they were still a mile or more up the canyon. They decided to keep on walking and make it into town even if they got there in the middle of the night. The moon on the snow made seeing the trail reasonable, and even though she was dead tired, Giselle continued to place one foot in front of the other. When she started to drag, Trace came up to her and put an arm over her shoulder and said, “Just think, Giselle. A real bed, just a couple more hours away.”

She looked up at him and into his eyes. With a smile that wasn’t very convincing, she said, “That will be wonderful, won’t it, Trace?”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Come on, Elle. You’ve wanted this for a long, long time. You’re finally almost toZion!”

She put a mitten up to pat his. “I know, Trace. And I am glad. I’m just tired.” They’d made it to where the trail was somewhat packed down and Trace reached over and set her up on the mule again.

“You ride for a while then. We’re almost there.”

What time it was was anyone’s guess when Mose led them to the boardinghouse rooms that he had arranged for on the eastern edge of the town. She was glad that she was too tired to dwell on how much her heart hurt when Trace walked her to the door of her room, told her goodnight and went back out to see to the stock before coming up to the room he would be sharing with Mose. It was the first time in more than four months that she hadn’t had him beside her at night. Even as tired as she was, it was awful to go to bed alone.

She slipped out of all her bulk y clothing and between the warm sheets and tried to bask in the feel of real walls, floor, and furniture. It really was nice. So then why did she keep having to wipe at her eyes? And why was her pillow so damp all of a sudden?

*****

Trace was up early in spite of being tired. For some reason he was having a hard time sleeping. He thought the reason had something to do with the look in Giselle’s eyes as he’d said goodnight at her door last night. She’d looked more sad than tired, even after finally reaching her Zion.

He knew she had to meet with their prophet today, and it had been a pretty rough trip. Maybe nice clothes and a bath would help. He arranged for her to have bath water in an hour or two and he went out to find the general store. When he’d bought her new clothing, he stopped and checked on her stock and paid a boy to milk her cow and went back. He wasn’t sure whether she’d be awake, but he knocked on her door anyway and was glad when she opened it right up.

She smiled a greeting, but her eyes were still sad. He walked in, laid the new clothes on the bed, and turned to take her into a hug. “Aren’t you happy to finally make it to your Zion at all?”

She pulled back and went to look at the dress and other things he’d bought. “I’m happy. Just tired. How did you know what size to buy?”

He laughed. “I didn’t. I just tried to describe you to the woman at the mercantile. I have no idea if they’ll fit, but I knew that you hadn’t brought much with us from the cave and that you have to meet with Brigham Young this morning. If these won’t work, I’ll hurry and exchange them for you.”

Still looking at them, she said, “I think they’ll fit. Will you come with me to meet with Brother Brigham, or are you in too much of a hurry to leave?”

“I’ll go with you. When do you want to go?” He pulled her toweling off of her head and began to play with her wet hair. “How long will it take you to tame this?”

She smiled up at him in the mirror of the dresser. “It might take a while. Give me forty-five minutes. It’s a wreck. Have you already eaten?”

“No, but I’m starving. Hurry and we’ll eat together.” He left her there and went back out to find out where Mose had gone. He’d been asleep when he left, but now he was gone. He never did find him and, in fact, didn’t see him until he and Giselle were having breakfast in the little dining room.

Mose walked up to their table with his big, white grin. “Well, well. You two don’t even look like the same two snow monsters that I found yesterday out on that trail.”

“Yes, well, a bath and shave and clean clothes will do wonders.” Trace remarked placidly. “Where have you been? Have you eaten?”

“I’ve eaten and have already been about the town working on professional neighborly relations with the folks hereabout.”

Trace smiled and asked, “What exactly does that mean, Mose? And what’s with this mysterious smile you’re wearing? You’re looking very pleased with yourself this morning.”

Mose glanced at Giselle quietly eating her breakfast and asked, “Do you remember that day last July when I told you you looked goofy?” Trace grinned and nodded. “Well, this morning that’s exactly how I feel.”

“Oh really?”

Mose chuckled. “Actually, I’ve been this way for three days now. This goofy smile is positively stuck. I feel ridiculous.” Giselle looked from one of them to the other, wondering what was going on.

Trace slapped Mose on the brawny shoulder. “Well, good for ya’all! Sit down and eat again and we’ll go out and see what you’ve found.”