Journey to the Highlands: Robbie and Caralyn (Clan Grant Series Book 4) (4 page)

Chapter Six

Caralyn had settled both girls in a soft bed together. Full from a nourishing supper, they’d fallen asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows. She had dozed for awhile, too, but now she was restless. The moonlight through the small window showed Gracie had her thumb in her mouth. How she loved her girls. Her eyes misted at the thought of what had almost befallen them. She had to do better. She had to make sure something like this would never happen again. How frightened the lasses must have been after hiding in the rocks for so long. They had been forced to sleep one night outside without her.

She closed her eyes against the onslaught of guilt, which tormented her even though she was fully aware the situation had been completely out of her control. After running her fingers through Gracie’s golden locks, she climbed out of bed, searching for something to wear on her feet. There was something she had to do. She just had to.

After one last check on her slumbering lassies, Caralyn stepped into the cool passageway and closed the door behind her. Her girls were used to her leaving in the middle of the night. If they awakened, and she doubted they would, they wouldn’t wander about. Thank goodness they had each other.

She tiptoed down the maze of corridors, rationalizing her actions as she searched for Robbie Grant’s chamber. He was her savior. If he hadn’t come upon her when he had, she would have been passed from man to man on a Norse ship, bound for who knows where. Had he not been willing to help her, how could she have found her girls with a sprained ankle? She limped down the passageway, intent on her mission. All she had been able to do was to give him her thanks. Words were not enough. Much as she loved her mother, she knew her mother would disagree with her choice, but her decision was made.

She knew what men wanted, and she intended to give it to him. She told herself it was only because she was grateful and not due to the blossoming in her heart, though she knew that to be a lie. Robbie had touched something inside her, something she didn’t quite understand, but couldn’t deny. The strength of this feeling left only one course of action: to act on it, even though she knew she risked severe punishment if she were caught.

When she found the right chamber, she opened the door, crept in, and closed it silently behind her. She waited until her eyes adjusted to the moonlight, watching the man slumbering in the small pallet, oblivious to the world around him. She was as certain as she had ever been about anything, that he would never hit her, that she would always be safe in Robbie Grant’s hands. How she wished circumstances could be different and they could truly be a couple. But she knew it could never be.

Once she could see properly, she removed her shift and lifted the cool sheet from the bed and climbed in next to him. His eyes flew open and he reached for his dagger, but she stilled his hand. “’Tis naught for concern, Robbie. ‘Tis only me.”

Confusion crossed his features. He licked his lips and stared at her. Without saying another word, she cupped his face and kissed him. She kissed him with every ounce of her being, something completely out of character for her, but she so wanted to do it. This was different; Robbie Grant was different. She teased him with her tongue and he suddenly sprang to life, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing and his heat enveloped her. Basking in his masculine warmth drove an arrow of heat right to her core. His penis grew and pressed hard against her belly. She touched him, lightly at first—just on the tip—and then wrapped her hand around him.

Robbie groaned and crushed her in his embrace, kissing her passionately, angling his mouth so he could tease her with his tongue. She wanted more and encouraged him by rocking her pelvis toward him, rubbing his cock against her slick entrance, and pressing her full breasts against the coarse hairs of his chest. His hand cupped her breast, teasing her nipple with his thumb until it peaked. She moaned into his mouth, and ran her hand on his hip around to his bottom so she could pull him flush against her.

He let go of her mouth and stroked her nipple with his tongue, then suckled her until she cried out. His hand stroked the underside of her breast, a soft, tantalizing caress as he laved her nipple until she wanted to scream with pleasure, finally scraping his teeth over the fine sensitive tip. She grabbed his biceps just because she needed something to hold on to. She knew she couldn’t keep him, but she didn’t want to lose him yet—her body was screaming for satisfaction from so many places, and he hadn’t tended them all. Her legs spread wide, parted by an unknown force, a pressure that had built up from the center of her being, fighting to get out and bring him to her, inside of her, everywhere. She wanted him everywhere.

His hand slid down her hip as he kissed her again, invading her mouth, ravishing her. He reached down until his fingers found her slick folds and parted them easily, sliding inside of her wet sheath until she groaned. She moved her body so his fingers mimicked what his staff would do to her soon. A fierce need raged through her body that she was powerless to stop.

“Now, please, Robbie. I need you now.”

He pulled back and gazed at her. “Lass, we are in an abbey. Are you sure?”

“Aye, don’t stop. I need you inside me.” She reached for his shaft and teased her entrance with it, hoping it would send him over the edge. She guided him inside, moving on him in a slow tease as he slickened her juices even more.

And she knew he was lost. He groaned and thrust fast inside her. She sighed in sheer bliss as he filled her, caressed her insides with his hardness. She grabbed his hips and forced him to speed up, hitting her hard, stroking her passage until she wanted to scream. Her body thrummed in response, forcing a frenzy in her that was totally out of her control. She clung to him with a desire and a hunger even she didn’t understand, a need so deep that it possessed her soul, every nerve in her body ready to explode. Her nails dug into his biceps when he reached down to touch her nub. She almost screamed but he brought his lips down on hers again, swallowing her moans of pleasure as she shattered and convulsed under him, her muscles contracting on him until he spilled his seed inside her, moaning her name as if she were the only person on the earth.

He kissed her brow and then both cheeks before finally settling on her lips. “Cara, that was amazing.” He kissed her tenderly and she wallowed in his gentleness, his hand gliding over her skin, caressing her, almost treasuring her.

She gazed into his gray eyes, wondering what was different about this man. He had catered to her needs, as if she mattered, worrying about her pleasure before his own. When had that happened to her before? He’d caressed her nub at exactly the right time, shattering her into a thousand pieces, bringing her release the likes of which she’d never experienced before. Oh, she had gone over the edge before, but not like this. She’d never experienced such sensuality combined with safety and intimacy. This was lovemaking, not sex. It was an experience to treasure in her heart and relive again and again.

They held each other for a few moments until his soft touch set off another thrum in her body, a delicious blooming of sensitivity that she was incapable of shutting down. She closed her eyes to enjoy the decadent feeling, something only Robbie Grant could conjure up.

Her mother’s voice seemed to whisper in her ear.
My dear, this is wrong. You know I love you, but this is wrong. Remember what I have taught you. Please. He is a good man, but do not sully yourself.

There was no guilt, no reckoning, and no regret. Much as she loved her, she wouldn’t allow her mother to tarnish this experience.

Mother, stay away. You will not make me feel guilty about this.
She trusted Robbie Grant, believed in him, would let him control her body for the short time they would have together.

She pushed against his shoulders and he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. She sat up, running her hands over his body in a slow caress. His body tensed each time she touched him. Glancing into his eyes, she smiled. In them she saw something different, more than just lust. Massaging each muscle in his arm, she reveled in his strength and his response to each squeeze of his hardness. Her hands trembled as she probed and pushed every inch of his upper body, gliding her fingers across his chest.

She leaned down and flicked her tongue over his nipple, then nuzzled and licked her way over to his other nipple. His cock came back to life underneath her slit. She could slide him inside her with just a touch, but she wanted to tease him a bit more. Her lips found their way over his taut abdomen until she was a breath away from his thick erection. Robbie shuddered underneath her as she continued her lascivious assault on his senses. This was an experience she would prolong to the greatest possible extent—because she could
feel
this time. This time she could take glory in every touch, every movement, every tingling they shared together.

Mama, you will not make me feel guilty about this. He saved your granddaughters. There is naught bad about this man. Nay, this one is good.

Moving down his body, she fluttered her tongue against the turgid tip of his manhood, tasting the salty drop of fluid there, before she took him full in her mouth. Robbie groaned and fisted his hands in her hair. His arousal inflamed her, goaded her to want more. She sucked him until he bucked against her, then his hands grabbed her under her arms, pulling her upright until his hard flesh sat directly underneath her pulsating mound.

Splaying her hands across his chest, she rocked and teased him a bit before impaling herself on him. His hands reached for her breasts, caressing them until she wanted to scream in delight. When he fondled her nipples, she rode him hard, taking him in as far as she could, her panting unwavering, relentless, forcing her to increase the pressure, the prodding, then ramming herself over his shaft until she convulsed, wave after wave of ecstasy shattering her core in delicious surrender. She could feel the moment he shot his seed into her, trying to stifle the roar in his throat as his hands grabbed her hips in a vise that didn’t let go until he finished.

Her senses reeled until she settled back and the truth interrupted their serendipity.

Child, this is not how we raised you. Be a good girl. Stop.

Much as she tried, her mother wouldn’t go away this time. Guilt crept back into the corners of her mind and she stilled, pushing against his chest. “Stop,” she whispered. “Stop now. I am sorry, Robbie. I must go.”

She hopped out of the bed, ignoring the expression on his shocked face. She closed her eyes in the hopes of willing away what she had just done. Turning her back, she tugged on her shift and made her way out of the chamber.

It needed to be the last time she ever saw him.

Chapter Seven

Robbie stood waiting at the gate the next morning. He had requested a meeting with the prioress before he and his warriors departed. He had tried to locate Caralyn all morning, but she was nowhere to be found. After awakening, he had spent several moments reliving the special night they’d spent together, but he couldn’t come up with any explanation for her brusque departure. He had to find out what had caused her sudden change in attitude. Much as Tomas had tried to convince him otherwise, he would not leave without seeing her first. Hopefully, the prioress would help.

The prioress strode toward him, her hands clasped in front of her and a small smile on her face. “Yes, Captain Grant? You wished to see me?”

Robbie flashed his best smile before he cleared his throat, trying to win control over the desperation clawing at his belly. “Good morn to you, Your Grace. I have a donation for you before I leave.” He handed her the coins and she nodded her thanks.
Go ahead and ask her. You can’t leave without seeing Caralyn again.
“I would like to speak to the young woman and her family before I go. I am concerned about them. Would you please allow me a last visit? I won’t take more than a few minutes.”

The abbess stared at her hands before returning her gaze to his. “Unfortunately, Captain Grant, the lady does not wish to see you again.”

Robbie forced his practiced smile. “Your Grace, I am sure the lady would be happy to see me for a moment. Are you sure? I rescued her from the hands of a vile brute. I just wish to set my mind at ease and see they are whole and well.” This could not be happening to him. First she made wild love to him, then ran out of his chamber without explanation, and now she wouldn’t even speak to him? What had he done?

“Captain, I am sure your winsome smile works on many lassies, but not me. The lady is traumatized and will be for quite some time. She needs to rest. I suspect there is more in her past than what you witnessed.”

“Excuse me?” His winsome smile? He didn’t know how to respond. He forced himself to focus on Caralyn. Aye, she did need to rest in order to heal from the Norseman’s attack, but what did the prioress mean by traumatized? Caralyn had been capable of functioning yesterday. “I don’t understand.”

“I would guess this isn’t the first time she has been battered, whether physically or emotionally. We have yet to determine all her damages, but we’ll help her heal. The Lord will watch over her here.”

Robbie stared at the prioress. He had guessed as much about Caralyn’s past. But what did that have to do with him? Yesterday, she had appeared happy to be in his presence. Last night, she had come to him. Was it because of her past that she had fled after their lovemaking?

The way she had left had totally unnerved him. At one point, she had grabbed onto him as if she hoped never to let go. Then, suddenly, she hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. Why had she gone from one extreme to the other? He didn’t understand the workings of the female mind.

Well, if Caralyn didn’t want his touch, she had a different way of showing it. Totally lost, all he could think about was seeing her again, talking to her. He wouldn’t just walk away. He couldn’t.

The abbess cleared her throat. “Mayhap you can return at a later date. She may be ready to see you then. Good day and may the Lord be with you and your men during this trying time.” She nodded and headed back down the well-worn path.

Robbie’s gut clenched in response to his cold rejection. A hand grasped his shoulder from behind, and he jerked his head around to see Tomas standing there.

“Och, the lass was living alone for some time. ‘Tis very unusual, especially at the outskirts of her clan. There weren’t many in the village since the Crauford House is a distance away. Who knows what lies in her background? We have orders from Dundonald to return to camp because the Norse could be at our doorstep at any moment. Consider your priorities, Grant. We must go.”

Robbie nodded, knowing that everything Tomas said was true, but his gut argued with him. True, in the Lowlands, the clans were often referred to as houses, but he expected Scottish honor still directed them to protect their members. Someone had failed Caralyn.

He pivoted and followed Tomas to their horses, lost in his thought, but the feeling of being watched crept up his neck. Glancing back at the abbey, he saw a wee lass with yellow curls and a very serious face standing at a distant wrought iron gate, her hands grasping the cold metal. As soon as he looked at her, a tiny hand came up by her face and waved. No smile, but Gracie had at least said goodbye in her own way. He smiled and blew her a kiss.

***

Caralyn stood by the window, peeking through the fur and watching as Gracie tried to chase Robbie down the walkway. One of the sisters latched onto the wee lass and pulled her back. Why was Gracie trying to follow him? She hated Malcolm and any man he brought along.

Captain Robbie Grant was special, even for her daughter. Slow moving tears slid down her cheeks as she stared out at the lush grounds of the priory. The sister carried Gracie down a separate path before setting her onto the soft grass next to her sister, Ashlyn. As soon as the nun’s hands released her, Gracie darted toward a small side gate, peeking out at the group of warriors and their horses.

Caralyn could hear the woman talking to her daughter not far from the window. “Cluck, cluck, my wee one. Those horsies are too big for you. Why, they would trample you in an instant.” The sister raced after Gracie, but stopped to let her stare at the horses. “Can’t hurt to let you watch them, now, can it?” The nun stood with her arms crossed as Gracie clung to the wrought iron bars of the gate, staring at the group of Grant warriors and their prancing destriers.

Caralyn had started crying as she watched Robbie Grant speak with the prioress. He had done his best to convince the good lady to let him in, but she had done as Caralyn had requested and denied him. She swiped at the tears running down her face, blurring her vision. She would never forget him—his kind eyes, his touch, his way with her daughters. He had done more for her in two days time than anyone had ever done for her. In return, she had done something she would live to regret. She had gone and lost her heart to him in a day. How did one fall in love so fast? Was it even possible?

Her body struggling with sobs that wrenched her very core, she couldn’t pull herself away from the window. Robbie’s shoulders visibly slumped as he moved toward his horse. An unknown force seemed to tug at him and he stopped, glancing over his shoulder in time to see Gracie lift her hand and wave at him from behind the gate. He smiled and blew her a kiss. Watching them, Caralyn placed her hands on either side of her head and bawled like she had never done before. Gracie trusted the Highlander and accepted him. Sobs erupted from Caralyn’s gut because she knew her daughter had been able to do something she could not.

When Robbie disappeared into the distance, Caralyn sat down at the table in her room, rested her head on her arms and continued to cry, wailing so hard her body trembled.

She had let him walk out of her life.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Caralyn started and lifted her gaze to see the prioress standing behind her.

“Child, if you wanted him to stay, I could have allowed it. He could have at least come inside to say goodbye to you and your children.” She tipped her head toward the window. “Even your wean has developed a fondness for the lad.”

“Nay, Your Grace, I couldn’t,” Caralyn sniffled.

“Lass, he seems like an honorable man. Why not? I know you are in pain from your injuries, but perhaps he could have helped you pass the time.”

Caralyn stood, her breath hitching while she struggled to calm herself. When her breathing slowed, she lifted herself up and stepped to the side of the prioress. Turning to face the woman, she clasped her hands together and knelt on the floor. Looking up into the prioress’s eyes, she grabbed the older woman’s skirts and sobbed uncontrollably, burying her face in the folds of the black robe. “Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned. Please bless my soul and those of my daughters.”

The prioress rested the palms of her hands on top of Caralyn’s head and sighed before beginning a litany of prayer. After a few moments, she said, “Child, what could one so young have done to cause such guilt, such regret?”

Caralyn lifted her gaze and began her confession.

The abbess tipped Caralyn’s head back down so she could bow in prayer, but not before Caralyn caught the look of shock on the woman’s face when she began her list of transgressions.