Journeys Home (42 page)

Members of the WCG were discouraged from reading materials from
other religious organizations, for fear they might succumb to
the devil's clever arguments. The WCG also believed in divine
healing and preached that reliance on the medical profession was
a sure sign of a lack of faith.

When I graduated from high school, I was accepted into the WCG's
own Ambassador College. This beautiful campus in Pasadena, California,
was a combination of restored millionaire mansions and elegant
new structures. My four years at Ambassador College provided many
great memories.

Culturally, it was a very rich experience. Many world leaders
and other influential people were invited to speak before the
student body. Upon graduation, many students went into the WCG
ministry. My talents, however, were musical, and though the dean
of faculty encouraged me to remain as a part of the music faculty,
I chose to return home to Pennsylvania, where I continued my musical
studies. There I became involved in the local WCG congregation
and even did some preaching.

After Mr. Armstrong's death in 1986, his handpicked successor
began a series of changes that rocked the WCG, causing it to split
into different factions (though schisms had been regular during
my thirty-plus years in the WCG). These changes included a gradual
openness to more traditional Christian doctrines such as the Trinity,
as well as a relaxation of the WCG's strict Sabbath rules.

I was always one to support the leadership of the WCG, so when
the church changed its attitude toward medical doctors, I had
no difficulty following along. Hadn't St. Luke been referred to
as the "beloved physician" (see Col 4:14)? When WCG changed its
views on the nature of God, softening its literal interpretation
of the anthropomorphic descriptions of God and becoming more Trinitarian,
I again found no problem in this.

In the spring of 1995, the WCG split into two separate groups.
Those holding to the traditions of Mr. Armstrong called themselves
the United Church of God (UCG); those who agreed with the changes
instituted by Mr. Armstrong's successor stuck with the WCG. My
wife and I stayed with the WCG; my mother went with the UCG.

It was a difficult time. Everyone had longtime friends who were
now separated because of differing understandings. Every faction
claimed loyalty to Mr. Armstrong. Many members became bewildered
over what to believe; many quit religion altogether.

Those who stayed with the WCG, however, felt a tremendous excitement.
They felt they were relieved of the burdens of the Old Covenant.
The WCG took to a traditional Protestant view of justification
by faith, but they didn't go so far as to say faith
alone
, and
this is where a new round of debate began.

The range of belief available within Protestant denominations
concerning justification, or almost any issue, is quite large.
In the same way, various WCG church leaders leaned toward Calvinistic
theology, while others were more Arminian. Some took up the motto
"No creed but Christ."

Some believed that the Bible was totally without error; others
leaned toward the position that only the principles concerning
salvation were without error. I mention this for an important
reason: The liquid nature of the WCG at this time meant that I
could finally study theological issues on my own in good conscience.
Since the WCG had a range of beliefs on most issues, I felt free
to study and come to my own conclusions. So I began reading various
schools of thought.

Yet another big change in the WCG was the introduction of the
worship leader. This move was made to follow the pattern of successful
contemporary Protestant churches. Success was defined as those
with strong growth in membership numbers.

Being a worship leader was a large responsibility and one that
couldn't be taken lightly. The success of the service was determined
by the success of the worship leader. In time, I was placed in
charge of our congregation's worship activities and all our worship
leaders. Not being satisfied with contemporary Christian worship,
I began looking at alternatives. The WCG provided an Internet
discussion group, where all worship leaders in our worldwide congregations
could share and debate ideas. Liturgy soon became a major part
of our Internet discussions.

Since the Protestant world accepted the practice of Advent, I
began to develop an Advent program for our local WCG congregation.
Some WCG members still didn't feel comfortable with Christmas,
so we just called it Incarnation Day.

I became more and more interested in liturgy. Since I was classically
trained in music and not inclined toward contemporary Christian
music, I developed a strong interest in religious music of the
past.

At first, it was the hymnody of the church in its Protestant tradition.
This step led me next to the Masses of Bach, Beethoven, and Schubert.
Finally, I became exposed to the wonderful liturgical works of
the Renaissance and medieval styles of music. My wife and I loved
a CD of the chants of St. Hildegard von Bingen. As you can see,
my musical exploration brought me in closer and closer contact
with Catholic culture.

At this same time, we were talking on our Internet forums about
how often we should participate in the Lord's Supper (the service
we had in place of the Eucharist). Our old WCG tradition was to
take it only once a year. Most thought we shouldn't celebrate
it too often because we would begin to take it for granted.

My theological research at this time was making me aware that
even the Protestant Reformers Martin Luther and John Calvin believed
that the Lord's Supper should be taken weekly. My religious sentiments
naturally inclined me to awe and great reverence for God. Contemporary
Christian music and contemporary Christian churches were missing
something. The awe and reverence were replaced with a shallow
emotionalism that just didn't ring true. Something was missing,
but I didn't know what it was.

I thought if I would just go back far enough in time, I would
find out where and why things got off track. I was becoming increasingly
dissatisfied with the WCG. My studies were taking me farther back
in history, and the WCG was bringing me current Protestant thought
that I just couldn't accept. My local WCG pastor recommended that
I just keep my mind on Christ and not let these things bother
me.

That answer wasn't satisfactory. I hungered for more. I wanted
the truth.

One evening while driving home from work, pondering my quest for
the truth, knowing I would eventually leave the WCG, the thought
came to me, "Before you die, you're going to become Catholic again."
I didn't reject the thought, but I thought I would first become
some type of conservative Protestant.

This was the light bulb moment for me. This was the moment when
I needed finally to consider what the Catholic Church had to say
in defense of her theological positions. The doctrine of justification
by faith alone wasn't a return to the theology of the early Church
as I had always assumed. It was a theological idea formed to assuage
the guilty conscience of a talented but troubled Augustinian monk.
Upon further study I found that what Luther taught wasn't a return
to the ancient belief of the Church but actually a new doctrine.

Shortly before this time I had finally found a book that might
answer my questions on the worship of the early Church. It was
The Lamb's Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth
by Dr. Scott Hahn
(Doubleday, 1999). I remember having listened a couple of months
before on our local Christian radio station to an interview with
Dr. Hahn and his conversion to the Catholic Church.

The specific details of the conversation escape me, but I remember
his enthusiasm. At the time, I was not aware of any Protestants
converting to the Catholic faith. I assumed it was always Catholics
becoming Protestant.

This was a "hmmm" moment.
The Lamb's Supper
was a captivating
read. I read it in one day. Dr. Hahn's book convinced me of the
importance of the Eucharist in the early Church and therefore
of its necessity today.

His enthusiasm expressed in his writing is infectious, and it
gave me a strong shove in the direction of the Catholic faith.
But then I thought of the complexities that so drastic a change
would bring to my personal life, so I backtracked a bit. Even
so, I held onto the central importance of the Eucharist.

Since I was in charge of leading our worship, I thought of ways
of bringing the Lord's Supper weekly to our local WCG. Our pastor
told me that the people were not ready for such a drastic change.
It wasn't the direction of the WCG, and I should just forget about
it.

Learning to
think
like a Catholic takes time. On this, God allowed
me to struggle. One day while studying, I concluded that the Catholic
Church was the most biblical of all churches.

Unfortunately, this made me try for a while to become a Bible-alone
Catholic. This position works well for the Real Presence in the
Eucharist, baptismal regeneration, or the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
In my mind, the Catholic scriptural position on these doctrines
was far more persuasive than any Protestant position.

To understand the Marian doctrines, however, one must think like
a Catholic. One must accept the scriptural approach of St. Augustine
that the New Testament is concealed in the Old and the Old Testament
is revealed in the New. To do this, one must accept Tradition,
and to do this, one must give up being a Bible-alone Catholic.
This move requires a real paradigm shift and takes a while to
accomplish.

I was finally ready to seek out a priest. I thought we should
call the local priest and talk to him in the privacy of our home.
My wife called the Catholic church.

She told the priest we wanted to return to the Catholic Church.
He said, "Mass is tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. See me after Mass."

Whoa! I didn't feel that ready. But the next morning we arrived
at St. Matthias parish in the little town of Evans City, Pennsylvania.
We entered the church, made the sign of the cross (for the first
time in about thirty-five years) and sat way in the back.

I was very nervous and mentally uncomfortable. At the first sight
of the huge cross in this little rural church, I was repelled.
It was too personal, too vivid, and too real.

As the Mass progressed, I became more and more uncomfortable.
I didn't know what to make of these feelings. I was confused.

After the Mass, the priest invited us to his rectory to talk.
My wife and I were so nervous we could barely make an intelligent
conversation. After leaving, we shared our experiences and discovered
that we felt the same way.

After meditating on the experience, I knew I wasn't ready immediately.
But I also knew that according to all my study, the Catholic Church
was the Church established by Jesus. I had to follow my head in
spite of my conflicted feelings. My wife and I decided not to
tell anyone in our WCG church about visiting the Catholic priest
and attending Mass. One of the unusual things about being in the
WCG at this time was that a good percentage of the people would
visit other Protestant churches and tell of their positive experiences.
However, no one talked of going to a Catholic church.

Membership in our local WCG congregation, which was about eighty-five
after the major split in 1995, fell to about forty a year later.
It was only in the mid-twenties in the summer of 2000. Since WCG
members believed that Christians could be found in any Christian
church, there was no compelling reason for many to stay.

Loyalty to the WCG wasn't high. Some resented the WCG for the
whiplash caused first by believing they were the only true church
and then by being told there were Christians everywhere where
people believed in Christ as their personal Savior.

I finally came to the conclusion that perhaps God wanted me to
really want to come back to the Catholic Church. It was as if
God were saying to me, "You left me for thirty years, and you
want to just hop in a pew like nothing happened! Not so easy,
Dan."

In my studies, I became more convinced of the truth of Catholic
doctrine. But the fear of repeating the experience of our first
Mass was haunting. What if it would happen again? I didn't know
much about limbo -- but I felt as if I were living in it.

One evening during this time, we were having a Bible study at
our home. I was absent due to my work, but my wife was there.
The minister made it a point to talk about the imputation of righteousness
and not infusion. My wife just sat there and let the minister
talk.

After this, we knew we were reaching critical mass. A decision
needed to be made. We did the only thing we knew to do. We prayed.

We decided we had to face our fear and go to a Mass. After this
Mass, I was much more comfortable and so was my wife. My wife
and I made our plan to let the people know we were going to return
to our Catholic roots.

We met with our local priest, who then made all the arrangements
to have our marriage sacramentalized. On Saturday, August 26,
2000, we were married in the Church and then together received
the sacraments after an almost thirty-five-year absence. We drove
to our honeymoon destination, and the first question we asked
the motel owner was "Where's the nearest Catholic Church where
we can attend Mass?"

We've been living happily ever after.

Daniel Severino lives with his wife, Pauline, in Valencia, Pennsylvania.
They have two children and two grandchildren. Daniel is in charge
of a music studio and is involved in a music publishing company.