Joy and Pain (3 page)

Fuck, but he knows me. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” This time, he brushes his lips across mine, a hint of a kiss, before he pulls away. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night from the club. We’ll have dinner.”

I nod. My shift ends pretty early. It’d be a late dinner, but still dinner. I’m a little disappointed we don’t get skin to skin right now, but he’s doing it the right way.

I hate it.

But then he’s moving away from me, nudging me aside while he rolls from the bed, tromps toward the bedroom door.

“Wha-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, little one. Come let me out.”

Grumbling, I follow him, pouting the whole way.

At the door, he calls me on it. “Quit it, Tev. I’ll see you tomorrow night. I may even watch you dance. You can give me a private show, okay?”

Zeke leans down for another kiss and I rise up to meet him, anxious for a real taste. Our lips start out soft, learning, before he opens his mouth, tongue sneaking out for a taste and I return the favor. He’s earthy and dark and sweet at the same time. All musk and man as I slip my tongue into his mouth, explore and take whatever he’ll give me.

He wraps his arms around my waist, hoists me higher against him and deepens the kiss. I can’t not return the embrace, pull him closer and breathe him in.

My cock’s hard, wanting, needy...but I’m focused on him, on dragging a deep moan from his chest, giving and taking whatever he’s got until he pulls away and, damn it, I whimper at the loss like the puppy Luca calls me.

He rests his forehead against mine. We’re breathing each other’s air, panting. I can feel the rapid tattoo of his heartbeat against my chest and I smile knowing he’s as affected as I am.

Then again, his hard cock could’ve told me that, too.

“You are too much, little one.”

I whimper, this time in need instead of begging. God, I want. The kiss, his body, those names. All of it just gets to me.

Zeke eases me down his body, muscle after muscle meeting me. “Tomorrow, baby. Tomorrow.”

With that, he’s out the door, closing it behind him with a soft click and I flip the deadbolt.

Tomorrow.

Tonight’s song has a deep bass line, throbbing in time with my heart. I keep scanning the crowd, but Zeke’s nowhere to be seen and I tamp down my disappointment.

It wasn’t a promise, right? He didn’t say, “Tevin, I promise I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nope, he didn’t.

The bouncer is a bit more vigilant after what happened with Marcus. An eye on me and a bigger one on the crowd, making sure they don’t get out of hand.

Of course, last time, it was Marcus’ fault.

It’s not long until I’m down to the G, dancing and feeling my way across the stage, giving the kiddies something good to see.

It’s then that I spy Zeke sitting in one of the chairs in the back. He’s slumped down, legs extended and spread before him, hand resting on his hip and dangerously close to his fly.

God. Damn.

Tonight.

Music’s thumping harder and I know the end is coming. I almost snort. Coming.

Except, tonight my cock’s twitching at the idea that Zeke’s watching me. His entire focus is on me. That twitch turns half-hard and I’m actually enjoying pinching my nipples, fingers sliding over sweat-soaked skin easing beneath the fabric, surrounding my cock. Fuck, it feels so good. Not just good, but fucking phenomenal.

Because not only am I touching myself in front of strangers, but Zeke’s there, too. And I’m imagining it’s Zeke’s callused hand sliding along my shaft. Zeke growling the words to the song as he pleasures me, gives and takes with each thump of the speakers.

I increase my speed, the pressure, with each note. Struggling toward release. The pole is at my back, cool in the stifling heat, but it doesn’t ease the burn.

I pinch my nipple, tug hard and then rub away the pinch. Bite my lip to keep quiet. Not that the pervs would mind. I’m not sure if they can tell that it’s real this time or if they just enjoy a good show.

Doesn’t matter. Cause I search out Zeke, find him still sitting in the chair, but now his hand is on his fly and rubbing his length. Yeah. Yeah. I’m doing that to him. My performance is getting him hot and bothered and I wish it was his hand I was fucking.

I am fucking now, dick sliding through the circle of my fingers, sweat acting as lube. Faster and faster I move, eyes on Zeke, begging him to let me come. Somehow, his permission is suddenly the most important thing in the world.

I am so totally fucked.

I’m jacking myself fast now and I’m sure the idiots in the audience can see it all. My cock and balls on display as I practically rip myself out of the spandex.

Fuck it.

I’m practically fucking air, aching and wanting until the pleasure is coursing through my veins like a drug. It’s tingling along my spine, gathering and growing with each passing second. I’m so close it’s laughable, but I refuse to push over until he says I can.

Damn it, this is hard.

And I want something in my ass.

Preferably Zeke.

The crowd’s getting rowdier, pushing my arousal and need higher with each hoot and holler. Fuck ‘em.

It’s all centered around my dick now, balls drawn up tight, ready to explode as soon as I relax. I swear to fucking god he better do something soon.

As if on cue, he nods and I come, liquid spurting from the tip of my cock, coating my hand and G in cum as spasm after spasm of pure ecstasy course through me, out of me.

Dimly, I know that the crowd is freaking the fuck out, that I’m probably fired and that I’ll get paddled for the display.

I can’t seem to care. Not when Zeke looks at me like he’s a starving man and I’m a steak.

I slump against the pole, cum coating my hand, the tops of my thighs. Fuck it. I’m just going to catch my breath and then I’ll hustle off stage to grab my things. Tremors are still working their way through me, tiny shards of pleasure reminding me of what I’ve just done.

Good just can’t describe it.

Between one blink and the next, the bouncer is there, shoving me toward the side of the stage, growling and bitching the whole time while trying to yell at the customers. I don’t even get to grab my costume.

Then again, I doubt Zeke will let me keep working here even if I’m not fired.

I get shoved through the doorway and still. Wait. Do I want him to be able to let me do things? Let him let me do what I’d like.

Kinda.

Yeah.

The idea freaks me the fuck out cause I know I’m jumping ahead of myself. Way ahead.

Cum is coating my upper thighs and groin, sliding down my legs as I make my way to the dressing room. It’s there that I’m met by a grim-faced Luca.

I can practically feel the anger, disappointment and confusion warring within.

I don’t slip past him into the room, instead, make my stand in the hallway. Face him.

“You’re taking at least a week. Maybe more.” He sighs, shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do with you, Tevin. You’re a friend, an employee and something to the man in there. And he’s the closest to a brother I’ve got.” His jaw is clenched, vein ticking.

God, I’ve never felt shame before. Not ever. But I cross my hands over my groin, hide myself, and I feel about a foot tall. I don’t know what the hell to say. So I don’t.

Luca runs a hand through his hair, showing me how frustrated he is. “Get in there. I’ll get in touch.” He spins on his heal and stomps away, leaving me alone in the dimly-lit corridor.

Taking a deep breath, I head into the dressing room and come face to face with Zeke. A very angry, very disappointed, Zeke.

“Zeke-”

“Not a word.” He points at a chair. “Sit.”

I lick my lips, mouth suddenly dry, and sink onto the seat, hands still covering the front of my g-string protectively.

Zeke stomps closer, arms crossed over his chest, frown firmly in place as he glowers at me. “You shared something, with a bunch of strangers, that should have been mine, boy, and you nearly caused a riot in Luca’s club.”

The name boy didn’t illicit my normal reaction and serves to only make me feel smaller. I bow my head. I can’t look at him, see the truth of his words, his feelings. I’m attached already and hurting him, angering him, was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted...

“Have anything to say for yourself?”

I nibble my lower lip, “I, um, wasn’t thinking?” A sigh escapes my lips. “I wanted to give you a good show. I saw you, how excited you were and I thought you’d enjoy it.”

“So, you didn’t think of the consequences. You didn’t remember Luca’s rules or the fact that your pleasure should belong to me?”

Luca’s rules. Okay, I fucked that up, but it’s not like Zeke and I had a “real” commitment or agreement, or anything. I pop from the seat, crane my head and glare at him. “Does it? We haven’t exactly agreed on that, have we?”

Zeke growls, bends down until we’re eye-level. “Fine. We do now. You’re mine. Got it?”

I poke him in the chest and I know it’s like poking a bear, but he’s pissing me off now. “No, not fine. You don’t get to rule my life just ‘cause you’re hot and growly and make my dick hard. My dick does not rule my life!”

I’m glaring at him, pure stubbornness pouring through me. He’s glaring at me and he seems to be matching me for stubborn.

I’m starting as I’ll go on and I won’t be pushed around by a man just because I call him “Daddy”. Even if I really, really want to call him Daddy. Turning over power is a choice and I’ll be damned if it’s taken.

“Fine.” He’s mumbling around clenched teeth. “Please sit and we can discuss this.”

“While you’re angry and I’m covered in cum?”

His eyes narrow even further. “And whose fault is that?”

“I won’t be held responsible for your emotions. I’m sticky because of something I did. Period. Your anger is your shit to deal with.”

Zeke relaxes a fraction, shoulders not quite so stiff. “Okay. If I give you my address, will you come by after you’re cleaned up? When you’re ready?”

See? He can be polite when he’s not being a bear.

I nod and slump into the chair. “I can do that. Give me an hour and I’ll be there.”

The ride to Zeke’s doesn’t take long once I’m cleaned up, my little beater puttering along in his hoity-toity neighborhood. Guy said it was “quaint”. He should have said it was filled with half-million dollar homes.

My knuckles are white from gripping the wheel so hard and I force myself to relax and glance at the slip of paper Zeke had given me.

Turning my car into his driveway, I take a deep, soothing breath as I cut the engine. Now or never. Right.

The house is huge. Okay, huge to me.

Wiping my hands on my jeans, I push the doorbell and the door’s opened almost immediately, Zeke looking just as gorgeous as I remember.

Then again, it’d only been an hour since we’d seen each other, but still. Hot.

“Come in. I’ve got drinks and I ordered take out. Luca said you enjoy Italian, so I ordered from Gianni’s for us.”

Okay, score one for Zeke. Even if he did ask Luca.

I nod and follow him into the house, kicking my shoes off near the front door, Zeke frowns and I smile. “Old habit. I don’t wear shoes inside.”

He shrugs and moves on and I’m at his heels, taking in the sparsely furnished home as we traverse the hallways. Before long, we’re in the living room, him on the couch, me on a nearby chair, both leather.

Zeke pops the top on a soda for me and sets it on a coaster while I poke around in the Styrofoam packages, claiming the Penne ala Vodka for myself. Yeah, I’m a bit selfish when it comes to Gianni’s.

We’re quiet for a little while, sating our hunger and I’m silent from nerves more than anything else. We’ve gone about this a bit backwards, stumbling around instead of having a sit-down like we are now.

Before long, Zeke leans back, not looking half as relaxed as he probably wants to. I mimic his position in my chair, keeping the soda in my hands. Something to hold on to.

He’s not looking at me when he starts speaking, staring into space. “I like you a lot, Tevin. More than I should considering how much time we’ve spent together.”

“I like you, too.” My voice is quiet. God, we’re like a bunch of high school kids. Or elementary age and I feel like I should be passing him a piece of paper. ‘Do you want to be my boyfriend? Check yes or no.’

A smile, small and soft, forms on his lips. “We’re like kids.”

I can’t stop the laugh bubbling in my chest. “I was thinking the same thing!”

Zeke pats the seat next to him. “Come here? Let me hold you while we talk?”

I’m not hesitating now and place the soda on the coffee table before snuggling next to him, feel him lay his head on top of mine.

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Me, too. I didn’t mean to disappoint you and Luca.” I didn’t. “It was just...”

“Too much temptation. I nearly creamed my jeans watching you. Then I realized everyone else was watching you, too. That pissed me off.”

I bury my face against his chest, inhale his scent before responding. “I know. I didn’t think of it at the time. Was just so turned on.”

“I know, baby, I know. It’s forgotten. Once I calmed down, I realized I was out of line.”

I hear, rather than feel, his kiss against my hair. “I’m still sorry.”

“Forgotten.” He took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling beneath my ear and I can hear his heart rate increase. “I want a relationship with you, Tevin. I want to see you whenever we can. Touch you. Be sweet, and mean, to you. All of it.”

I raise my head, stare into his eyes. “I’d like that, too. But I won’t be ordered around like a mindless kid. Yeah, you’re older, probably wiser, but I have to make mistakes. I can’t have you bulldozing me at every turn. Yeah, I fucked up, but I need to fuck up. Do I want some power exchange? Age-play? Fuck, yeah. Just, not all the time. I can’t feel like you’re ruling everything.”

“I don’t want to rule everything, Tev. It’s just...” He rests his forehead against mine. “I want your pleasure to be mine. I get your job. I don’t like it, but it’s what you do and I can’t stop you. But coming on stage? I’d prefer that you don’t do that.”