Jupiter's Bones (11 page)

The girl asked, “How do you know he won’t tell?”

Yeah
, Decker thought,
how the fuck do you know I won’t tell?

Jacob said, “I just know.”

“What does
that
mean—”

“It means I just
know, all right
!” Jacob’s voice had turned harsh. “I’m not saying it’s going to be gravy. But I’ll handle it. Shayna, my stepdad grew up in a goyish family in southern Florida. He got in fistfights. He played football. He was in Vietnam. He’s a cop. I’m sure he had more than his fair share of backseat humping—”

“Don’t talk like that!”

Again, no one spoke.

Then Jacob said, “My dad goes postal on religious issues because he doesn’t understand them. But stuff like this…he understands.” Silence. “Just like…like climb out the window. I’ll…I’ll handle it.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go out there and keep my mouth shut. Let him do all the talking until he talks himself out.” A beat. “Something my brother hasn’t learned to do. Because Sammy’s the
honest
one.
Contentious
you’d better believe it, but deep down, he’s that way because he’s so
sensitive
. He just needs extra attention because he’s the
only
person in the world who ever suffered. Not like me. I’m the
easy
one in the family. So easy that it’s like I’m not even there…just a grinning, village idiot.”

More silence.

Then the girl said, “What are you talking about? You’re the smartest person I know. I’m sure they don’t think that way at all.”

“On some cosmic level, I’m sure you’re right.” His voice sounded bitter. “Look, Shayna, call your sister and tell her to pick you up. I’ll deal with my dad. No reason for both of us to get detention.”

Another stretched silence.

Then Decker heard the slide of a window being opened, and being slammed shut. At this point, he turned off the intercom, waiting for Jacob in the kitchen. When the teen did enter, he broke Decker’s heart. Toting an oversized backpack like a donkey with a load. Jake was clearly upset, but attempting to hide it with apathy. His smooth face was flushed—wet and red—his black hair askew and falling over his eyes. His white shirt was untucked, resting over blue slacks, the fringes of his
tallit katan
hanging from under his shirt like four, thin tails. He dropped his backpack in the corner, ran his fingers through his locks, then secured his yarmulke on the crown of his hair with a bobby pin. His blue eyes were focused on some imaginary spot on the floor.

Jake still had some room to grow, but he was on his way to manhood. Around five-ten with a lean body and the kind of matinee-idol looks that made girls swoon. Not hard to understand where his beauty came from; he looked just like Rina. Likening him and his wife to Joseph and Rachel. Another beautiful man whose astonishing face caused him problems.

But Decker had never perceived his son as a heartthrob because to him, Jacob was simply Jacob—a social,
frum
kid with lots of friends, an easygoing personality, a winning smile. Not a grinning idiot—Jacob was very bright—but someone whom Decker didn’t think about because he
was
so easy. Now with that myth destroyed, Decker regarded his stepson through newly opened eyes. Definitely,
Jake was a girl-magnet. If they didn’t talk soon, there’d be real trouble.

Wearily, Decker pointed to a kitchen chair and Jacob sat. Decker turned the other seat around so his stomach was resting against the chair’s back. “Next time you do this, you might want to turn off Hannah’s intercom.”

The boy reddened, eyes darting around the kitchen. When he spied the contraption, he let his eyes rest on it for just a moment, then looked down. “So you heard everything. Then I don’t have to repeat myself.”

Decker asked, “Anything you want to add?”

Jacob didn’t say anything.

“Nothing?” Decker asked.

The teen cleared his throat. “I guess I would really appreciate…if you didn’t…if you kept this between us. I’ll take whatever punishment you give me. But I’d like to keep it between us.”

“Noble of you.”

“Why should both of us go down?”

“She was there, same as you. One might even say I have a parental obligation to let her folks know.”

Jacob was silent.

“Is her father that bad?”

The boy glanced up, sensing a reprieve. “He’s a pompous jerk. Some real rich entertainment lawyer who has an opinion on everything. And it’s usually wrong. He’s a
ba’al tshuva
.”

“And that’s why he’s a jerk? Because he’s a born again?”

“No, of course not. It’s…admirable to be a
ba’al tshuva
. But he’s like…forcing it on the family. Shayna…the girl I was with…she came to the school about a year ago. Her father made her change her name from Shane to Shayna because it sounded more Jewish. She’s trying hard, but it’s…you know, new to her. She can barely read Hebrew. She misses her old friends from public school.” A pause. “You should understand.”

Decker did understand, but damn if he was going to
give Yonkie any points. He asked, “Anything else?”

He tried to look at Decker, but his eyes didn’t quite make it to the face. He was trying to get a grip on himself, but his legs were shaking. “Well…if you wouldn’t tell Eema, I’d appreciate that also.”

“No go, Jacob. You’re her son. She has a right to know.”

The boy shrugged. “Okay.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why
my
bedroom?”

The teen’s eyes stared about an inch over Decker’s shoulder. “The bed’s bigger.”

Decker forced the boy to make eye contact. “You violated
my
privacy, you violated your
mother’s
privacy. That was a rotten thing to do.”

“I’m sorry.” Water welled up in Jacob’s eyes. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Decker stood and pulled the kid toward him. The kid melted in the embrace. “Jacob, I don’t know where you’ve come up with this grinning idiot thing. Your mother and I have untold love and respect for you. But obviously, after today, we need to do some talking.”

He broke away, almost pushing Decker aside. “We weren’t doing anything.”

“Well, you were doing
something—
”

“It’s nothing compared to other kids I know.” He sank into his seat. Staring at the ceiling, he was quiet. Decker had no choice but to wait him out.

Finally, Jacob whispered, “There’s something wrong with me. I’m…I’m just…like…wired
all
the time.”

“Wired?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Aroused?”

He nodded, his eyes still upward. “I think about it constantly. I’m obsessed with it.”

“Sex?”

Jacob didn’t answer.

“It’s called being fifteen and male.”

“I don’t know…” Jacob shook his head. “Sammy’s not like that.”

“You’re not Sammy.”

The teen spoke haltingly, his eyes staring off in space. “One of the guys in my class got hold of some porno films about six months ago. We’ve been watching them every
Motzi Shabbos
…after his parents go out.”

The room fell silent.

Jacob went on, “I feel real sleazy doing it—some of them are really…disgusting—but I can’t stop.”

“You can’t? Or you don’t want to?”

He shrugged. “The thing is…all of the guys at school who are into girls…are also into booze and dope. They’re
real
jerks.” A beat. “They’re…idiots.”

“Who? Like Dovid? Steve?”

“Dovid, Steve, Ronnie, Joey…all of ’em.”

Decker waited.

Jacob again spoke slowly. “But the guys who are good students are…are like
shomer negiyah
—that means they don’t touch girls. Not that that’s
bad
. Sammy’s
shomer negiyah
.” A sigh. “It’s just in my class the religious guys are dorky…and real self-righteous. I can’t talk to them without feeling…dirty. So I hang around the jerks. I know it’s dumb. Because how long can you hang around jerks without turning into one?”

“They drink and take drugs?”

The boy nodded.

“What about you, Yonkie? Do you drink and take drugs?”

The boy looked away. “A few times. No big deal.” But as soon as he said it, he cringed.

Decker kept his face flat. He wasn’t all that surprised. It was always the quiet ones…“What did you do?”

“Nothing much. They pass it around while we watch…you know…”

“No, I
don’t
know.”

“I’ve taken a couple of hits—” He stopped himself.
“Maybe more than a couple. But just pot. No big deal.”

Decker was quiet.

“I mean I’ve never even gotten like
really
buzzed. I mean maybe a little buzzed, but…just…you know—”

“No, I don’t know.”

Again, the boy looked up—anywhere but at Decker. “Funny thing is if I pass it up, nobody cares. I don’t have to use to be accepted. But I just feel like I should.”

“Why?”

“To belong. Except I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m too…too academic to be a head, and too…wired to be one of the little rabbis. I can pass through both groups without a problem. I’ve got lots of friends. I don’t know
why
I do stupid things. But I do them and…and later, I
hate
myself.”

He rubbed his face, made a swipe at his eyes.

“I keep thinking, like what if Eema saw me. It would hurt her so much.” He looked at Decker with plaintive eyes. “I know you have to tell her about this. But I really wish you wouldn’t.” His eyes widened as anxiety gripped his heart. “You’re not going to tell her about the pot. I told you that in
confidence
.”

Decker asked, “What do you think I should do?”

“Oh, God!” He tilted his chair back and regarded the ceiling, a defeated look stamped across his face. “What if I promise that I won’t do it again? Smoke dope, I mean.”

“Should I believe you?”

No one spoke. The kid seemed to be thinking about it, or at least, faking it out.

“I think you can,” Jacob answered. “I
hope
you can. Anyway, feel free to check up on me—go through my things…listen to my phone conversations. I know I’ll have to earn back my privacy.”

He was on the right track. Decker asked, “What about drinking, Yonkie? Do you drink, too?”

The boy became more animated. “Seriously, I don’t
drink. I got drunk once when I slept over Steve’s house. I got so sick, I swore never again. I
don’t
drink. I mean I’ll drink wine on Shabbos. But I never drink just to drink.”

“That’s good.”

“So are you going to tell her? About the dope?”

Again, Decker forced the boy to make eye contact. “Well, Jacob, that’s up to you. If you prove yourself to be trustworthy, why should I distress your mother? But if I see an
inkling
of erratic behavior…son, I’m a cop. If you mess up, you’ll see just
what
a cop I can be.”

The boy nodded gravely. “Fair enough. That’s one of the good things about Shayna. If I’m around her, I’m not around them.”

“Are you two an item?”

“We’re…good for each other. Something to hold on to—literally.”

“Have you two had sex?”

Jacob shook his head no.

Decker peered into his eyes. “Are you lying to me, Yonkie?”

“No.” He sighed. “She made me promise to keep our underpants on. Actually, that’s okay with me. I couldn’t handle it…not yet. Not that I haven’t had opportunities. It’s a really…
different
world outside of the yeshiva. I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”

“Go on.”

“Just that there’re
tons
of girls out there who are really
aggressive
. You wouldn’t believe what they’ve said to me. Well, I guess
you
know. But Eema would be shocked out of her mind. In the last two months alone, I’ve had like five or six invitations to go over to houses when the parents aren’t home.”

“Girls from your high school?”

“No. Secular private or public school girls.”

“Shayna’s old friends?”

“Yeah, some of them are.”

“Are they Jewish?”

“Some yes, some no. Some are older than me. They’re
real messed up. Divorces and affairs and all sorts of stuff. It’s sad. All I’m saying is compared to them, I’m a monk.”

“So you haven’t had sex, Yonkie? What about oral sex?”

“No…just…” He fidgeted. “How much detail are you going to ask me?”

“Enough to make sure you’re not going to contract something that could kill you.”

Jacob looked away. “You can’t get AIDS if you’re a virgin.”

“That’s not true. If you don’t believe me, I’ll let you talk to a thirteen-year-old girl that Juvey pulled in last night. She’s wasting away from consumption and AIDS, and she swore up and down that she only did it to guys orally.”

Jacob was stunned. “Thirteen?”

“Yep.”

“Is she like…from a poor family or something?”

“Middle class. To quote from her mother, ‘She fell in with the wrong crowd.’”

Jacob was silent. “Is the girl HIV positive or does she have AIDS?”

“She has AIDS. But that really doesn’t matter. Her lungs are going to crash before her immune system.” Decker leaned over and put his hand on Jacob’s shoulder. The boy bristled, but didn’t pull away. “
Don’t
have sex. You’re
way
too young emotionally and physically. First times are often disasters. But if you’re older, you can handle it better.”

Jacob was quiet.

“Do you hear me, Yonkie?”

“Yes, I hear you.”

“But if you mess up, don’t be
stupid. Wear
a condom.”

“It’s against Jewish law.”

“Yonkie, I don’t know that law, but I do know it’s against Jewish law to endanger your health, let alone kill yourself. Don’t have sex. But if you do something im
pulsive, I don’t want you to die, or knock up some girl. You understand?”

Jacob nodded.

Decker said, “If you’re too embarrassed to buy condoms, I’ll do it for you. This does not mean I approve of the behavior. I don’t approve. All it means is I don’t want you to die.”