Just a Fan (22 page)

All of my mother's friends had sat in a semi-circle - centered around, Connor, of course - and their concentrated stares had not initially seemed to unsettle him. However, since I knew him well, I noticed the slight reddening of the tips of his ears that hinted he was getting a little embarrassed. Nevertheless, I had been powerless to protect him from their intense collective interest, and had not managed to detract attention from him for more than two seconds. Towards the end, the women's blushing had heated up the room, and Connor had been obliged to loosen his collar, and eventually undo the top buttons of his shirt. But despite the very discreet way in which he had done this, the whole room had gone silent as my mother's friends followed his hand with rapt attention, admiration in their eyes at every button he undid. Poor Connor...I assumed he was very much used to this sort of thing, but I hadn't really witnessed it in real life. He had seemed to handle it quite well, maintaining his polite manners even though he was a little disconcerted. My mother, of course, had been very smug indeed at the open, unabashed admiration of her friends. I knew very well that she was now probably the envy of the entire neighbourhood.

When Connor and I had finally left, they had all waved us goodbye from the drive. Each of the ladies had lined up full of anticipation to receive a goodbye and a handshake, and I had distinctly heard Sue murmuring to Letitia that he had "very firm, strong hands". It had been a great relief to finally be able to get into the car and drive off, finally alone together.

'No, really, I think it went fine,' Connor reassured me for the fifth time as we drove down the winding lanes. 'I quite like your mother.'

'What about her friends?' I asked him grimly.

There was a pause.

'They're...interesting.'

'I personally think they're appalling.'

We glanced at each other, and then burst out laughing, both of us relieved to have escaped.

'Where shall we go now?' I asked, smiling.

Connor grinned. 'My house? I think we need some time alone together...'

'Definitely,' I agreed with great conviction. For a short while I gazed out of the window at the trees and bushes sweeping past, then frowned thoughtfully.

'Connor?'

'Aye?'

'Did you
really
have to lick someone's armpit in a movie?'

* * *

That evening, after the remainder of the day was spent at Connor's house having some rather pleasurable "alone time" together, I began to put together some lists of things I would need to take along to the US. Lists avoided me forgetting to pack crucial things like pyjamas and toothbrushes, and helped me feel quite a bit more organised. I knew it would take me ages to pack, so it was best to start now...

A thought came to me as I ran through my list of clothes and essentials. Julie and Kate...I still hadn't told them about my new situation. I looked at the phone from where I sat at the table, biting my lip. Kate would surely think me infinitely fickle for having allowed him back. She'd never understand how sincere Connor had really been when he had made his apology to me. She'd scorn me if I told her he loved me; for a fiancéd girl, she really did have a distrust for some men, which I found unfair. She'd never sympathise with me even if I told her all of my deepest feelings about this. Once she had convinced herself Connor was bad for me, she would never let go of the idea. Julie also might find this reconciliation a little odd, even if she would probably understand when I told her about his confession of his feelings.

I knew very well that it would be worse to keep this to myself. They had been my friends for a long time, after all, despite the fact that I had sometimes been unknowingly neglected. The only problem was, I didn't quite like the thought of Kate yelling at me over the phone, or having to quickly fire out explanations to Julie. Besides, Kate was currently away somewhere with her David, and Julie was apparently securing some business deal. I probably wouldn't be able to get hold of them...but nevertheless, I was fully aware of the fact that I had to tell them
somehow
. And I also had to inform them that I would be absent for quite some while, too...

Suddenly having a brainwave, I abandoned my completed lists and went off to the computer. I supposed I could always email them - that way they would be sure to receive my message, and all the shouting would be delayed for a little while.

Once the temperamental old thing had booted up, I opened my hotmail account, took a deep breath, and began to type:

"To:
Kate Truman
;
Julie Sanders

Subject: Surprise... :S

Hey...I was going to call both of you but then I realised you might both be out. I just wanted to tell you that a
lot
has happened recently.

Connor came to my place
in person
during the night after your party, Julie, and apparently he waited for ages in the street for somebody to let him up, just because he knew I would be less open to what he had to say if he said it over the intercom. He told me he knew how stupid it had been for us to be apart like that, when all we needed to do was to sort out our problems rather than run from them. After all, we weren't officially officially broken up, just spending some time away from each other - even though I know we both must have taken it a bit to the extreme. I know what I said to you guys, and I know you will hate me for this, Kate, but we're together again. And I really think that this time it's really going to last. We made a deal, and we've managed to overcome most of the niggly little tensions that made us doubt ourselves before. Today we even went to see Mum, which ended in a bit of a fiasco when all of her friends arrived. :S But anyway, things are so much better now. You might say I'm being stupid, making up with him again, but to tell you the truth I feel far happier. Being apart from each other is stupid, but not
this
. And he even told me he actually
loved
me, too, and meant it!

He has to leave for the US again, to resume shooting for his film - but this time he's taking me with him! We'll be gone for some while, but I'll mail you as often as I can - if you still want me to, of course.

Lots of love,

Lilly.
"

I resolutely pressed the "send" button, then sat back, letting out a breath. It certainly was a relief to have gotten that out of the way.

I was about to shut the computer down and go back to my packing preparation, when I felt a slight surge of curiosity.
Why not?
I thought.
I'm online already
.

A few seconds later, I was back on that infamous gossip site. I set my jaw determinedly, then clicked on the "search" bar. My hands hesitated over the keyboard for a second, and then I quickly typed in: "
Lillian Harwick
".

My computer was agonizingly slow to load the page, but when it did, I saw that there were a couple of articles listed there with my name highlighted in bold. I looked at them in shocked interest. "
Connor MacGowan is Officially Taken!
" was the least recent, and was apparently about Connor's revelation on TV. It was very odd indeed seeing my name mentioned in the extract of the article, but it was really the most recent that caught my attention - the one titled "
INF Meet MacGowan's Girl
". I hurriedly clicked on it, impatiently jiggling my foot as the page loaded at ponderous pace. After a good while, the article was there in front of me, photos included. I bit my lip in embarrassment at the sight of my own face on a site like this. It was a close-up still from the little interview I had had, and I had been right to worry about the state of my hair. But although I grimaced at first, I found that in the still I looked quite determined and collected at the same time. Scrolling down a bit, I groaned at the sight of several thumbnails of photos showing Connor and I very close together in his car, my fingers twined passionately in his curls. With mounting trepidation, I read the article:

"
On Saturday,
Heyday
and
Esquire
star Connor MacGowan and his elusive new girlfriend were finally sighted again in downtown Fenbridge (UK). The couple were quite intensely lip-locked in MacGowan's car just before Miss Harwick left. An INF representative managed to catch up with her later, and gave us an exclusive look at the Scottish heart-throb's mysterious lass. The INF video can be found
here
. (Click on link to open.)
"

I quickly clicked on it, and slowly but surely the video loaded up, showing me my memorable, very first paparazzi "interview".

My hair was messy, the sound quality was bad with the rush of traffic and my mascara was very slightly smudged, but all in all I felt that I had really done a good job, considering my previous terror. Satisfied and grimly ready to see the comments, I scrolled down to the bottom of the article, and began to read:

"
Cass12 - 16th January, 18:34:

he's just a playa.

mAuRiCiA - 16th January, 18:34:

Aw I'm so happy for him shes so prettyyyy

Commodore - 16th January, 18:35:

That's one helluva snog they're having!

ConnorForeva - 16th January, 18:35:

so jelusssssssss!!!

lolleez - 16th January, 18:35:

She looks scarily like Anna Derwent. I think connor should of gone out with Sandra Vicks from La ferasie, they were so cuter together

thorn - 16th January, 18:37:

i LOVE her English accent! omg its so cool! i hope we get to see more of her. she and Connor are perfect, and she wasnt full of herself at all when the camera guy talked to her. Connor looked really into that kiss. Go get it, girl! :D

xXxXxDarkXRosesxXxXx - 16th January, 18:41:

The accent rox but i dont think shes that pretty. wats with the hair

msKte - 16th January, 18:41:

Apparently he's off to shoot TMB soon. Cant wait for it to come out!!!!

FridayNites - 16th January, 18:42:

Comment #5: wtf??? she doesnt look anything like anne effing derwent

VPC - 16th January, 18:44:

She looks really natural and modest. connors taste has improved :)

ladyK - 16th January, 18:47:

GO CONNOR!!!! Haha this is the scot we all know and love. just proves he really can have any girl he wants!

fish567 - 16th December, 18:52:

he has a personal life after all and we shudnt be mad at him for going out with nice girl, we cant say he should be singel all his life. he is a very good man :)
"