Just a Little Series (Parts 1 - 4) (10 page)

When he didn’t speak, I took a step forward
and forced him to meet my gaze. “Luke,” I snapped my finger in his
face, “why didn’t you just tell me that that’s how you feel?” He
turned on his heel and stomped out of the house, taking long
strides down the steps. Then he took off for his run down the
sidewalk. “Luke!” I chased after him. “Luke, you didn’t
stretch—”

“It’s one thing to have a stupid crush,
Julie,” he called back, still hurrying away, “but it’s another
thing to try and manipulate me into believing that I actually care
about you.”

I finally caught up with him and we ran
side-by-side. “You’re calling me a liar?”

“What other explanation is there?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” I said, slightly
offended by his accusation. “Maybe that you really
do
have
feelings for me?”

He snorted, turned the corner, and picked up
his pace as he left me fighting to keep up.

“Luke,” I hoped to reason with him, “I would
never lie to you. I’m telling you the truth!”

“And another thing,” he interrupted, “you
shouldn’t be hanging out with that Derek guy. I told you I don’t
trust him.”

“
You never said that
,” I said. “You
told me to keep my eyes peeled.”

“Well, I’m telling you now,” he said,
raising his voice. “Stay away from him.”

“Why?” I asked, taking each stride in step
with him. “Because he’s nice to me? Because he talks to me like an
equal? Because you feel threatened that maybe he’ll steal my
attention away from
you
?”

“Threatened?” he laughed, “God, Julie. Get
over yourself.”

As we ran side-by-side for the next two
blocks, my side began to ache and my legs were pulsing with cramps.
I struggled to keep up with him, and after a second or two, he’d
taken a six-foot lead down the sidewalk.

“Luke,” I panted. “Please slow down. I can’t
keep up—”

“Not my problem, Little,” he said.
“
You
are
not
my problem.”

As if I couldn’t stand another jab from
Luke, I stopped in my tracks, picked up a palm-sized rock, and
launched it at him, hitting him square in the back.

He stopped running and turned to me with the
promise of an evil wrath burning in his eyes. “What the hell is
your problem?”

“
You
!” I yelled, taking a second to
catch my breath and gather my thoughts. “You know, I’m sorry if you
can’t accept the truth, Luke, but here it is. I care about you. And
I think
you
care about
me
, too. You told me you had
feelings for me, and despite the context, I can’t help but think
that that drunken confession the other night was the most honesty
I’ve ever gotten from you.”

“You need to stop,” he pointed a finger at
me. “You don’t love me, Julie, and you don’t want
me
to love
you
.”

With that, he turned away and took off
running once again.

“Luke!” I yelled as he turned the corner.
“Lucas—James—Reibeck!
Stop running from me
!”

But he was already gone.

CHAPTER FIVE

Friday, September 21

The next four days dragged on for what felt
like an eternity. I hadn’t heard from Luke, and that was a downer
considering he’d planned to meet me for a morning run twice that
week.

I’d dropped subtle hints to Uncle Charlie,
but he never seemed to pick up on my little cues. The most he’d
said was, “Trigger said he’ll have to reschedule your
training.”

I’d spent the week feeling like I hadn’t had
anyone to turn to. Matt was literally up to his lips with
dedication to Hannah, and they’d spent every possible moment
together. Between school, his part-time job, and his new
girlfriend, I’d definitely taken the backburner on Matt’s list of
priorities.

“Still feeling under the weather, I see,”
Derek said as he walked past the house with the dog leash in
hand.

I glanced up from the porch step and smiled,
but both of us knew that there was very little truth behind my
expression.

“Care to join me?” he nodded at the
sidewalk.

“I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

“You don’t have to say a word,” he shrugged.
“We can just walk a few blocks in silence, if that’s what you’d
prefer. I just know it’s nice to have some friendly company from
time to time.”

I smirked, nodded, and then slid off the
steps.

“Alright,” he let the dog take the lead as I
joined them on the walkway.

We walked down the sidewalk, both of us
bundled in our jackets, as the cool autumn breeze picked up and hit
us full force with a leaf-filled gust of wind.

I shivered under my jacket and looked down
at the dog as he pranced along the sidewalk without a care in the
world.

“What’s his name?” I asked, meeting Derek’s
blue eyes.

“Elvis,” he smiled down at the German
shepherd. “He belonged to my mom. She passed away last year.”

“Oh,” I pressed my lips together. “I’m
sorry.”

We continued to walk for two more blocks
without another sound. True to his word, Derek didn’t speak unless
spoken to. In some very strange way, the silence brought about a
sense of peace, and his company kept my mind from wandering too
close to Luke.

“I’m sorry I’m not much of a
conversationalist today,” I said, looking down at my feet. “I’ve
just had a lot on my mind.”

“I imagine,” he acted as though he couldn’t
help but laugh. “I’ve noticed you’ve been a little down in the
dumps ever since your 4:00 a.m. fight in the middle of the street
on Monday.”

I sent him a questionable look, and he
shrugged. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” he said, and I believed
him. “I was out in the yard with Elvis, and I heard some screaming
a couple blocks down. When I realized it was you, I just wanted to
make sure you were okay.”

I nodded, “I’ve gotten pretty good at taking
care of myself.”

“Yeah,” he tried not to smile, “you’ve got
quite an arm on you there. He didn’t stand a chance with that
boulder you threw at him.”

I chuckled, “It was tiny rock.”

“Right,” he matched my smile. He shook his
head as if amazed by something. “You’re too cute, you know
that?”

I closed my eyes and let his compliment sink
in. And I couldn’t help but wonder how politeness and sincerity
came so easily for him, yet Luke couldn’t take one sober minute to
say something half as nice.

“Honestly, the guy’s an idiot,” he said as
if he’d read my mind. “It’s not hard to see the way you look at
him, Julie. And he sees it, too; don’t let yourself believe he
doesn’t.”

“It’s complicated,” I understood Luke’s side
more than I cared to admit. “There’s an age gap, and I think that
scares him, but not nearly as much as my Uncle Charlie does. I
think he’s afraid of how it would look.”

“And that’s the kind of guy you want to be
with?” he asked, but not the least bit hostile. It seemed as though
he was truly trying to figure out what I saw in Luke. Sometimes,
though I’d never admit it out loud, I wasn’t even sure what I saw
in him. “Do you really want to be with someone who’s so concerned
with upholding his reputation that he can’t appreciate what’s right
in front of him?” Derek dropped his head and sighed. “And does he
always talk to you like that, Julie? Like you’re a child? Like he’s
entitled?”

“He
is
entitled,” I gave him a little
credit. “In some respects, Luke’s my boss.”

“He’s your
coach
,” Derek corrected
me. “He’s just signing off on your job-shadowing hours, right? He’s
not your superior.”

I shrugged.

“You know the crazy thing?” I asked, though
I was fairly certain Derek didn’t really care much one way or the
other. Luke seemed to have become a touchy subject. “I know he has
feelings for me, but he refuses to confront those feelings, let
alone admit them.”

“Then, I’ll say it again. He’s an
idiot.”

Derek and I continued to walk, neither of us
knowing what else to say.

I appreciated how much he was trying to
help, but his opinion was slightly biased. He’d only seen one side
of Luke and only in small doses. He didn’t know the honest,
soft-spoken, kind-hearted Luke that I’d caught a glimpse of during
our hours together.

As we turned the corner of Linden and Main
coming full circle in our walk around the neighborhood, I caught
sight of Luke’s patrol car sitting in the driveway, and Luke still
resting behind the wheel. I tried to keep myself from sprinting
toward him, especially out of politeness to Derek, but I picked up
my pace as we got closer to the house.

“Go on,” Derek said, giving me permission.
“Obviously he has something he needs to say.”

I smiled, said a quick
thank you
, and
sprinted toward the cruiser. Luke was sitting back in the driver’s
seat with his eyes staring straight forward, and he didn’t seem to
notice for a second that I’d walked up to the window. I tapped on
the glass, and he jumped from inside. He closed his eyes for a
brief second and took a deep breath.

He opened the door and let himself out,
slamming it loudly behind him.

“Dammit, Little,” he said, grinding his
teeth. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Rule number one,” I winked. “Always be on
high alert, and I don’t use the term
always
loosely, Officer
Reibeck.”

A small grin twitched at the corner of his
lips.

“What brings you here?” I leaned against the
side of his car.

He watched as Derek and Elvis finally walked
by. He watched them just as closely as they watched him, and it was
like reliving the
Hannah and Matt staring match
all over
again. “Doesn’t it seem a little fishy that that guy’s always
around?”

“He lives next door.”

“Still,” he eyed Derek. He finally looked
back at me and nodded up to the porch, “Can we sit?”

“Sure,” I said, taking the lead. I walked up
the steps and took a seat on the ledge. Luke settled in next to me,
but was extremely careful not to brush my body or make any
unintentional contact. “What’s on your mind?”

“For one,” he said, and I couldn’t quite
tell if he was joking, “I’ve decided not to arrest you for
assaulting a police officer.”

“
Har-har-har
,” I reminded myself just
how hard I’d probably hit him with that rock, “you deserved
it.”

A smile appeared, so I assumed that that
must’ve been his attempt to break the ice, but it slowly faded as
he looked up at me again.

“You’re a good kid, Julie,” he said. “You’re
smart, and funny, and you’ve got a good head on your
shoulders.”

“Thank you,” I said, not liking his tone. I
wasn’t sure whether or not to take the compliment, or assume it was
the beginning of something terrible. Something about the way his
voice sounded made me wonder if there was something bad coming
next; I could literally feel the rejection building in his
speech.

“I understand the feelings that you’re
experiencing,” he continued, sounding a little more mature than
he’d sounded in the days before. “We’ve all been there, you know?
And especially at your age, it’s only natural—”

“Just stop,” I said. And there it was—the
rejection I’d been waiting for. “What you’re saying is that you
understand that I have feelings for you.”

“Yes.”

“And you can respect how I feel,”

“Yes.”

“But you also want me to understand that you
don’t reciprocate those feelings,” I took a deep breath.
“Right?”

He nodded.

“Julie, when it comes right down to it, I
honestly think you misread whatever was said the other night.”

“Right,” I rolled my eyes.

“I want us to be able to continue our hours
together,” he said, and it was the first thing he’d said that I
truly believed he meant. “You’ve done so well, and I don’t want
this argument to interfere with our work.”

I nodded, but only because I didn’t know
what else to do. How could he sit there and act like nothing had
changed between us? How could he expect me to just accept his
half-assed explanation?

“Luke,” I scratched the top of my head. At
that point, I was just confused. I didn’t know what to say, or what
he wanted me to say. “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

“It’s okay, kid,” he patted his legs and
stood up as if he’d sensed some finality in our conversation. “It’s
good that we’ve cleared the air.”

“Except we haven’t,” I said, still sitting
on the step. Maybe he was done, but I wasn’t. I still didn’t
understand; I wanted something more than whatever that was that
he’d just given me.

“Yeah?” he turned back.

“Do me a favor.”

“I can try—”

“You can stop calling me
kid
,” I bit
back tears. “And while you’re at it, you can stop treating me like
one.”

Before he had time to respond, I got up and
brushed past him, taking the steps down into the yard and over to
Derek’s house. I pounded on the door as Luke stood watching me from
my porch. When Derek answered, I threw myself in his arms and
sobbed against his shoulder, only validating once and for all that
I was just as childish as Luke had been treating me. But he’d
broken my heart, and I needed comfort. Derek pulled me over the
threshold, shut the door, and took me in his arms once again.

And then I cried some more.

CHAPTER SIX

Saturday, September 22

“Shut up!” I pushed Derek off the sidewalk
as we walked down Linden. “You—did—not!’

“Honest to God,” he raised his hand proudly.
“I pointed my finger in his face and said
Don’t mess with me
punk, I’m a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
”

I was bent over at the waist, laughing
hysterically for the hundredth time that day.