Just a Taste (4 page)

“What's wrong?”

“I have a pounding headache.”

“Are you sick or hung over?”

Carmen didn't answer.

“Shit, girl, are you sitting in your sad house getting drunk by yourself?”

“No. I went out last night.”

“That's it. Now I
am
coming over. Get your ass out of bed. I need to hear who got you to go out drinking that was better than me.”

“No—” It was too late. Rosa had already hung up. Carmen flipped the covers back from her body and struggled to sit up. Knowing Rosa, she had at least thirty minutes. Enough time to take a shower and have some coffee.

In the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. The makeup she'd hastily applied last night had smeared. Her eyes were bleary. Part of her was embarrassed because of the way she'd acted with Liam last night. She'd flirted shamelessly and enjoyed it.

But as usual, Liam didn't react. She'd thought for a moment there at the door that he was going to kiss her. And God, she'd wanted that kiss.

Looking back now, she could recognize it wasn't a smart move. She didn't even know if she had acted that way because it was Liam or because it had been so long since she'd been on a date. She was lonely and Liam had given her some attention. It was like being a teenager again and she hated it.

She got in the shower, turning the water up hotter than usual to beat the tense muscles of her neck and try to ease the headache.

By the time Rosa showed, Carmen felt nearly human. A second cup of coffee should fix her up. Her cousin strode in the back door and helped herself to a cup too.

“So spill, bitch. I've asked you to go out with me a bunch of times and you keep turning me down. Who was it?”

Carmen started to roll her eyes, but stopped midroll because the motion brought back pain. “Liam O'Leary came by last night to return a pan from the wake. He asked me to go have a drink with him.” She sighed and sat in one of the kitchen chairs. Rosa stood, leaning against the counter.

“So you agreed to drink with a man, but not your cousin.”

“I was sorting through my dad's stuff, deciding what to keep and what to give away when he showed up. I realized I needed a break and took it with him. I didn't plan on getting drunk, but I was so relaxed. It was the first time since Dad died that I let go of everything.”

Rosa took a chair across from her. “That's what I've been trying to get you to see. I'm a little pissed that you chose a guy over me, but whatever.”

Carmen drank her coffee and let the caffeine hit her system. The buzz was nice, not as good as the margarita and lust buzz from last night, but it would do.

“What was that look?” Rosa asked with a smile.

“What look?”

“Did you sleep with Wonder Bread?”

“Don't call him that.”

“Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. It took me until I got home after the wake to realize who he was. And you're dodging the question.”

“No, I'm not. And no, I didn't.” But she would have. If he'd even hinted he was interested. She'd even gone so far as to throw out the line, but wasn't able to reel him in.

“But you wanted to. You slut.”

“Is it possible for you to have a conversation without calling people names?”

“You know I love you.”

Carmen did know. Rosa was crass and played tough, but Carmen knew she was trying to look out for her.

“So when are you going to see him again?”

“I doubt I will.”

Rosa shook her head. “It's time to move on. It's time to live your life. Your parents are gone. You can do whatever you want. If you want to bring a guy home and fuck him in every room of this house, you can.”

The thought had truly never crossed her mind. This was her parents' house. It still seemed disrespectful. Not to mention she had no one to fuck. She stood and carried her coffee into the living room to finish packing her father's things. Rosa followed, as Carmen knew she would.

“The truth is, I don't know what I want. It's been so long since I've given my life any thought. I'm so lost right now, Rosa. I'm stuck.”

“I'll help unstick you. Let's start with these boxes.”

Rosa was serious. The playful, irresponsible cousin who she thought would just toss everything wanted to help. Tears stung the backs of her eyes. “I think all of his clothes have to go. Except maybe the food truck shirts. I don't think I want any of his clothes.”

For hours, they worked together, breaking to have lunch, and then continuing into the afternoon. By the time Rosa hugged her good-bye, an entire wall of the living room was filled with boxes ready for Goodwill.

It was hard to look at the boxes, so little to represent her father's full life, but Carmen finally felt like she'd made some kind of forward motion.

Now she just needed to figure out what to do with her dad's business and how she wanted to proceed with her own life.

No big deal, right?

CHAPTER 3

L
iam sat in bed staring at the ceiling. He didn't have to be in to work until one and he was restless. He thought about calling Carmen to check on her, but wasn't sure it would be a good idea. Someone knocked on his front door, so he shuffled out of bed. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Lily standing there. They'd forged a friendship after meeting at his brother Ryan's wedding last year. He never quite understood how she'd scored an invite, but he was glad she had.

Her cheeks were pink from the cold air outside, but she smiled. She looked at his bare chest and pajama bottoms. “I guess you forgot about brunch.”

Shit. He had. He opened his mouth to apologize.

“We could do it some other time if you want.”

“No. I'm sorry. Give me a few minutes to get dressed. It's just been a busy week.”

She unwrapped a scarf from around her neck and pulled a knit cap off her head, sending her blond hair floating with static. Running a hand over her head, she asked, “Yeah? What's going on?”

“I had a funeral to go to. An old friend died. I went out with his daughter last night.”

Lily's back stiffened a bit. “Anyone I know?”

He shook his head. “No, they're not from around here.” He pointed at his couch. “Make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in a minute.”

The offer didn't need to be made. Lily had been in his apartment many times over the last year. They'd hit it off at the wedding and stayed in touch. They had similar interests. She worked at her mom's diner and was considering going back to school to be a chef. They got together to try recipes and he gave her tips.

They had an easy friendship that he enjoyed away from his hectic job. He dressed quickly and brushed his teeth.

From the living room Lily called, “Are you ever going to do anything with this room?”

“What do you mean?” He rolled the sleeves on his shirt to his elbows.

“The room is pretty stark.”

“There's furniture and a TV. What else does it need?”

She swooped her arm out. “Some sign that it's your room and not mine or some random stranger's. There's no personality.”

He shrugged. “I spend most of my time in the kitchen. This room does its job.”

“But it's not inviting. It doesn't tell people to sit and relax and stay a while.”

“Maybe I don't want people to stay.”

She stood and shoved his shoulder. “You talk tough, but I know you don't mean it.” Then she reached up and rubbed his beard. “This is new.”

“Every now and then I let it grow.”

She wrinkled her nose. “It looks like you're trying to hide your face.” She wrapped her scarf around her neck. “Where to for food?”

“You pick. I'll drive.” He held the door open for her.

“So what did you do last night? You said you went out with your friend's daughter?”

With his keys jingling in his hand, he said, “Yeah, she was bummed about her dad and she was trying to pack up his stuff. I took her out for a drink.”

“Oh.” Lily's eyes widened. “When you said daughter, I thought you were being a good Samaritan and taking a little girl out for ice cream.”

Liam pressed the button to unlock the car, suddenly feeling like he was being interrogated. He got behind the wheel and started the engine. He didn't know how to respond to Lily's comment.

“So was this like a date?” Her face didn't reveal much. She continued to smile as she looked out the window, as if his answer didn't matter. But he had sisters and he knew there was a right and wrong way to respond.

It hadn't been a date. At least it hadn't started out feeling like one, but then Carmen had flirted and he'd wanted to kiss her, which was the definition of a date. “No. Carmen and I were kind of friends when I used to work at her dad's restaurant.”

She turned in her seat to face him. “That probably sounded bad. I didn't mean to pry.”

Liam had a sinking feeling about this whole conversation and all he wanted to do was escape it. “Have you talked to your mom about the new recipes you developed?”

She sighed. “No. I don't think she'll ever give up any control in the kitchen. She likes to keep me out front as a waitress.”

“Maybe it's time for you to move on. Find something different.” He'd been struggling with the same feeling at his own job. The difference was that Lily was still young and finding her way. He was thirty and should've figured out his way by now.

“I can't do that. She needs me.”

“Then your only other option is to make her listen. If you don't, you're just going to end up bitter and resentful.”

She nodded silently. He was glad she didn't want to continue talking about Carmen.

As they neared the restaurant, Lily suddenly said, “I need you to teach me mac and cheese.”

“Huh?”

“I keep trying to make some really good mac and cheese, but it comes out lumpy or worse, like glue. I need to know what kinds of cheese work best and how to make it so that it will work for the diner. If I can sell my mom on a new mac and cheese recipe, prove to her I can do it, that might work.”

Liam breathed a sigh of relief. Food talk was something he could handle. He wasn't ready to examine what had transpired between him and Carmen. He certainly wasn't ready to consider why Lily would care how he'd spent his night. He needed to focus on the food. He knew what to do with food.

A week and a half later, Liam sat in his car staring at the certified letter. The past week had been crazy with trying to spend time with his family around Thanksgiving, but he always had to work on holidays. He'd gotten the notification of the letter, but ignored it for days. It wasn't until he was on his way to work that he stopped by the post office to pick it up.

Now, he couldn't believe the contents. Calling the lawyer had only confirmed the information in the letter. Gus had left him half ownership in his food truck. Although Liam had known that Gus sold the restaurant when Inez had gotten sick, he didn't remember much about the food truck. Gus had mentioned it at some point, but on the occasions that they spoke, they rarely discussed Gus's business.

Gus was always asking about Liam and how he was doing. They talked about family, but Gus never even hinted at this. He had a huge family. Why would he leave the truck to Liam? What about Carmen? She would need the truck and its income. Wouldn't she? What was he supposed to do with it?

He'd tried calling Carmen a couple of times, but she hadn't answered. This wasn't something to discuss via voice mail. He looked at the time and debated whether talking to Carmen now would be a good idea. He'd worked the lunch shift and prepped for dinner, so for a change, he had the chance to be home early. She would probably be home. He needed to settle this with her. He couldn't let it sit. They would figure out how he could sign his half over to her so she could do whatever she wanted with it.

With that mission in mind, he drove to Gus's—Carmen's—house. Once again, when he pulled up, the house was dark except for the blue glow in the living room. He began to wonder if Carmen had some aversion to turning on the lights. He knocked on the front door and waited.

When she didn't answer, he peered through the window beside the porch. He saw her silhouetted against the light of the TV, so he knocked again. Then he yelled, “Carmen, it's Liam. I see you sitting there.”

A moment later, she pulled the door open and the sight sent a shock through him. She stood wearing her pajamas, looking like she hadn't showered or eaten in days. In fact, she looked like she might've lost weight. She didn't even offer a fake smile.

“What do you want, Liam? I'm busy.”

“You're sitting in your pajamas watching TV. That's not busy. What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” She put her hand on her hip as if that would make her look tough while wearing a Hello Kitty shirt.

The information from the will must've really done a number on her. “Can I come in?”

She tilted her head, a movement she'd always done when irritated. When he waited her out, she finally sighed and swept an arm out to invite him in.

The room was tidy, clear of the boxes and clothes she'd had scattered all over during his last visit. She followed him into the room, but didn't sit. She stood with her arms crossed.

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see how you're doing.” Although it was a little lie, looking at her now, he knew it mattered. He should've called or stopped by earlier.

“I'm fine.” She widened her eyes and lifted the corners of her mouth. Still not a smile.

He sat on the couch. “You don't look fine. Sit with me.”

She dropped her arms and plopped next to him like a sullen teen. Moira had perfected that look a decade ago.

“I want to talk about Gus's will.”

“I don't. There's nothing to say.”

“I had no idea he was leaving me anything.”

She lifted a shoulder. “I did.”

“But—”

“What part of ‘I don't want to talk about it' do you have a problem understanding?” Tears welled and she blinked them back.

Liam suddenly understood that it wasn't the contents of the will that had upset her. It was simply the loss of her father catching up to her. “Okay. When was the last time you ate?”

She continued to look at him, blinking like she didn't understand the question.

“Have you eaten dinner?”

She shook her head.

“Good. I'm starving. I'll cook for us.” He stood and went into the kitchen. In his peripheral vision, he saw her jump from the couch.

“You don't have to do that. I'm not even hungry.”

“I like to cook for friends. Come keep me company. Tell me what you've been up to since the last time I saw you.”
When you were drunk and flirtatious and happy
.

Pink spots appeared high on her cheeks. “About that. I'm sorry. I hadn't planned on getting drunk. Parts of the night are a little fuzzy. Did I do anything to embarrass myself?”

She didn't remember inviting him in? He'd known that she wasn't okay to drive, but she didn't seem ready to pass out either. “No. You were fine. I had a really good time.”

“So did I.” She leaned awkwardly against the counter while he rifled through her refrigerator.

The contents were pretty sparse. She had pre-portioned chicken breast and salmon pieces, a bag of broccoli, and iceberg lettuce. He didn't even see any salad dressing. He slid a glance over his shoulder. She bit her thumbnail.

“I told you I'm not much of a cook.”

“You did. But Gus was an excellent cook. I'm sure he had more that I could use.” He began to rummage through the freezer and the cabinets. It was fine if Carmen didn't want to discuss what was bothering her. He could even accept her not wanting to remember flirting with him. But he could offer her comfort through his food. She would accept at least that from him.

Carmen watched Liam move around her kitchen as if instinctively knowing where to find things. The lack of food in her refrigerator embarrassed her. It was fine for her, but Liam was a chef. He created things, fancy dishes with multiple ingredients. And she had nothing to offer him.

She continued to gnaw on the nub that remained of her thumbnail. Her stomach flopped. Liam shouldn't be here. She couldn't continue her wallowing in his presence. At least he bought her story about not remembering their night. And he was kind enough to lie right back instead of calling her out.

After starting another pot of coffee, the one item she'd been practically living on, she sat at the table and watched Liam. Incredible smells filled the kitchen and her stomach grumbled.