Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (119 page)

I find my legs carrying me across the sand because my heart has told my body what to do before my brain gets a chance to counter. Not caring about their game and hearing them shout and look at me with confusion, I launch myself at Joe, wrapping my arms around him. Unable to form the words, my body squeezes him tight in hopes that he feels all of the raw emotions that are dancing inside of me.

“Hey, beautiful,” Joe greets as he sucks in some air.

“Get a room,” Jimmy heckles playfully as Joe and I make out.

“Hey,” I return, pressing my lips to his again.

“What happened?” someone asks.

Voices chatter around us as I continue to ignore them.

“I see you got the flowers,” he comments, brushing a tear away from my eye.

“Yep,” I sigh.

“I love you,” Joe says after kissing my temple.

“I know.” I smile and take his hand in mine, still unable to form the words I want — I need to say. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Joe replies, holding me close.

The rest of the long weekend with my friends and family is filled with love and laughter. I sleep a lot, I eat a lot and overall I feel great considering the worrying I did at first about how I thought Joe and our friends would react to finding out that I’m pregnant. Aside from Joe doting on me, Jared and Nathan have been doing it too. Nathan’s claiming that he now needs to higher staff to help with a baby and kids fashion line for Maggie and me — these babies are already spoiled by their uncles and they haven’t even met the world yet.

The day after we return home, Joe and I visit Kim at her office.

“You’re about two months pregnant,” Kim shares.

“Really?” Joe asks excitedly.

“Most likely a Valentine’s Day baby,” Kim adds with a widening smile.

“Not funny,” I return with a smirk.

“How is he or she a Valentine’s Day baby if Emma’s two months pregnant. That would make the baby due in . . . October or November,” Joe challenges.

“No, I mean, you’re right,” Kim clarifies. “The baby won’t be due around Valentine’s Day. What I meant was that the baby was probably conceived on or around Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh,” Joe replies. “Is there any way to tell exactly or as close to when?”

“There is. I can do an initial ultrasound to see how far along you are,” Kim explains. “It’s up to you, but I recommend not having too many. We’ve discussed my professional and personal reasons as to why.”

“When can we find out the sex?” Joe inquires.

“Anytime after the baby is at least sixteen to twenty weeks old,” Kim shares. “When Emma starts to show like Maggie, you’re in that general timeframe to determine the sex. I’ll be monitoring her regularly and will be able to gauge when that time comes even without an ultrasound.”

Joe looks to me and I can see the questions piling up in his eyes.

“What would you like to do, Emma?” Kim asks.

“I like the idea of waiting,” I say. “What do you think, Joe?”

“That’s fine with me,” he comments. “If Kim can get the general results of your health from just the blood test and whatever else that isn’t invasive, I’m in full support, beautiful.”

“I’ll give you the names of the midwives and doulas that I’ve used and recommend to my clients. See which one’s personality fits yours,” Kim says, looking to both Joe and me. “I’ll run the tests now and when I get back, we’ll go over some basics with regards to prenatal care. Have you purchased any books yet?”

“No,” Joe says quickly. “I wouldn’t allow her before we saw you and we promised that we would take the research calmly, right Emma?”

“Right,” I say with slight hesitation in my voice.

“Emma?” Joe asks speculatively.

“I’ll be right back,” Kim announces with a smile.

I don’t reply to Joe’s inquiry.

“Emma?” Joe presses sweetly.

“Okay,” I huff. “I did a little research.”

Joe lifts a quizzical brow. “A little?”

“Okay,” I confess. “Maybe a little more than a little.”

“When?” he searches. “We’ve been together ever since you told me.”

I don’t say anything.

“Emma?”

“I didn’t buy any books or anything,” I assure. “I just looked some stuff up online.”

“Like what?” Joe says more interested in hearing what I’ve read rather than scold me for breaking our agreement.

“Like the difference between a doula and a midwife and some other little things,” I confess.

“What is the difference between the two?” Joe asks.

“They have different roles during the process,” I share. “And, one is more experienced and certified for the actual assistance of the delivery.” I make myself stop, not wanting to expose just
how much
I’ve been researching.

“Okay,” Joe says, trying to keep up. “What else?”

“Nothing,” I lie.

“It’s okay,” Joe breathes. “I can take it.”

“Nothing. I swear,” I lie again.

Joe chuckles. “You and I both know you’ve read more than just that.”

“And, you and I know that you’re starting to freak out,” I present.

“I’m not freaking out,” Joe says with his voice going up in pitch.

“Yes, you are,” I challenge. “And, we both can’t be freaking out about this. One of us can freak out, but not both of us. We can take turns freaking out, but we both can’t be freaking out at the same time.”

“Why are you freaking out?” Joe asks, trying to remain composed.

“Because you’re freaking out,” I state.

“I’m not freaking out,” Joe lies.

“Yes, you are,” I counter. “I see it in your eyes.” Tears begin to well as my heart races. “You can’t freak out, baby. Not right now. Please.”

“Okay,” Joe says after a deep breath. “Okay. I’m good. Don’t cry. Please, beautiful. Don’t cry.”

“I’m trying not to,” I admit, fighting the tears.

“It’s okay,” Joe soothes. “We can do this. Just . . . next time you start looking stuff up, talk to me. Okay?”

“O . . . kay,” I reply, trying to gain control over my emotions. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, beautiful,” Joe consoles. “It’s a part of the process, right?”

“It is,” Kim confirms, walking into the room.

Joe and I don’t say anything as Kim closes the door.

“Relax you two,” she says lovingly after staring at us for a moment. “She’s not going to pop the baby out tomorrow. You’ve got time to figure all this out. Okay?”

Joe and I nod our understanding.

On our way back to Pasadena, Joe asks, “Did you want to go to Vroman’s?”

“I doubt that they’ll have any of the books Kim recommended, but we can look,” I reply.

We stop off at Urth Cafe for some lunch and then walk over to Vroman’s Bookstore. Anna happily meets us with Sadie, eager to help get what we need. The three of us search the shelves and I’m surprised that we find a number of them and a few of the videos Kim recommended,
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
;
The Business of Being Born,
Husband-Coached Childbirth, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, and Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn
. The rest of the books on our list we special order through Vroman’s website or another book website.

The rest of the afternoon and evening, Joe and I are at my apartment, reading the books in my bedroom as Anna prepares us dinner. My attention bounces back and forth between what I read and looking it up online — there’s so much information.

By ten at night, Joe takes the book I’m currently working on out of my hand.

“Hey,” I complain.

Joe doesn’t say anything as he slides across the bed closer to me. His lips softly press against my shoulder.

“I wanted to . . . .”

“Shh,” Joe hushes me as his mouth moves to mine.

“Don’t shush me,” I whine, reaching across him to get my book back.

Joe takes my hips and positions himself over me. “Shh,” he repeats. “It’s time for us to relax.”

“But . . . .”

“But, nothing.” His mouth takes mine in a demanding way. “We need a break from all of that information,” he insists, kissing me again. “Kim was right, we’ve got time . . . we can learn a little each day.”

“But . . .” I breathe out, suddenly distracted by the use of his tongue on my neck and his hands caressing my ass.

“Hmmm?” Joe searches with a soft chuckle.

“Nothing,” I reply, giving into the sensations that are flooding my body.

“Good,” Joe returns, guiding my tank top over my head.

Once we’re completely naked, Joe makes his way between my legs with his mouth, providing a delicious orgasm quicker than I anticipate. Is he getting better or is that the hormones — or both? He doesn’t let me return the oral favor, even though I put up a good fight — I’m hungry to taste him. Joe distracts my desire with the use of his penis penetrating my sex. Our session escalates and I’m able to orgasm again rather quickly a second time. As he continues to thrust inside me, I feel wetter than usual and a little frustrated at the inability to cum as easily a third time.

“Harder,” I beg, needing more solid penetration.

Joe’s pace doesn’t change.

“Harder,” I repeat, groaning frustration.

“I don’t want to hurt the baby,” Joe reveals.

“You won’t,” I remind.

“How do you know?” he asks with concern, maintaining his stride.

“I just do,” I answer.

Joe shifts us, repositioning my leg to offer to help.

“I need more,” I share. “Pound me.”

Joe refuses — I see the trepidation in his face.

“Bunny style?” I ask.

Joe gives me a peculiar look along with a hint of a plea for me to not ask again.

“Sex is good for not only us but the baby too,” I share.

“That way feels demeaning,” he confesses.

“How so?” I inspect.

“I don’t know,” Joe replies, slowing his thrusts. “It just does.”

“How else do you expect us to have sex when I’m huge and ready to pop?” I ask.

“Is it safe to have sex that late in a pregnancy?” he checks with a little disbelief.

“Yes,” I confirm. “It’s even encouraged to assist with getting the area ready for childbirth.”

“How do you know that?” Joe searches, not that he doesn’t completely believe me.

“In the book I was reading,” I share.

“You sure?” he investigates.

“If you don’t fuck me the way I need you to fuck me right now, Joseph,” I command. “Then, naming him Joe Jr. is out of the question.”

Joe tilts his head to the side speculatively.

“Yes,” I confirm. “If he’s a he, I agree to naming him after you . . . I just didn’t want to tell you right away. But, if you don’t fucking fuck me right this very instant the way . . . .”

Joe laces our fingers together and pumps his hips into my body, cutting me off.

My head falls back, my eyes flutter and a gasp brushes past my lips.

“Did I hurt . . . .”

“Shut up,” I command. “Don’t stop.”

Joe resumes his pace, quickening it gradually as I beg for more.

“Fuuuuuuuck . . . yesssssss,” I moan as my body tingles. My fingers dig into the backs of his hands.

Joe’s stride stays the course, never falter as my release builds inside.

“Yes,” I pant. “Just . . . like . . . .”

“Emma,” Joe groans into my neck.

The rush permeates throughout my body with such force that I’m left unable to breathe for several seconds as I ride the wave of euphoria. “Jooooooe,” I cry out in unadulterated ecstasy.

“Fuck, Emma,” Joe grunts. He continues to pulse into me well after I feel his release. As his pace slows, he says, “I love you.”

My body shivers as I bask in the glow of the sensations coursing in and on my body. “Thank you,” I breathe out.

Joe chuckles. “Thank you, beautiful.”

My body has fidgeted since our plane took flight to the East Coast, nervous about how we’re going to tell Joe’s parents about the baby and what their reaction will be. Joe tries to calm me, holding my hand, kissing me or keeping me close as we lounge on the couch. My leg bounces up and down, causing Sadie to switch sides and sit next to Joe or seeks out attention from Jimmy, Allen, Anna or any of our bodyguards. Redirecting my attention, Joe goes back and forth with me about any new baby information we’ve each learned as we read our books and look things up on our iPads — I purposefully share all the articles that mention the benefits of sex in all forms and positions, even sharing a few videos.

I’d pass some time with re-establishing our membership to the mile high club, especially after all the sex talk, but there are just a few too many people on the plane for me. Joe seems even a little apprehensive despite his arousal, so to keep my hormones in check, I turn my attention to other areas of concern for childbirth and rearing; like water birthing at home and the lotus method of leaving the umbilical cord attached instead of cutting it off right away. I remember Kim and Amy both leaving the cords attached for up to about an hour at least and need to remember to ask them more about it when we get back.

We land in New York just before noon and make our way over to Joe’s parents’ house for lunch. Jimmy and Allen separated from us at the airport, needing to stop by their home before heading off to their gallery to check in on things. Joe and I haven’t decided on when to tell his parents about the baby — not sure if we should tell them before everyone else or to wait and announce the news to his whole family on Easter.

By the time we pull into the garage, Joe and I decide to wait at least a day and go from there, feeling better at the idea of sharing the news to everyone at the same time. When we enter the sitting room, I’m glad we have chosen to wait when I see Mrs. Covelli doting over her grandchildren; Lily, John Jr., Alexis and Olivia. John Jr. is walking and talking more and Alexis and Olivia are almost two months old.

Lily gets distracted temporarily from her cousins when she sees Joe, Sadie and I enter. She rushes into Joe’s arms after wrapping her arms around Sadie and kissing her several times. John Jr. hobbles over to us, shouting Sadie’s name — which is missing the letter
S
. Joe holds onto Lily until she squirms to be let down to play.

“There you are,” Charlotte beams, getting up. She’s flanked by Emily and Isabella.

“Hi,” I greet, hugging and kissing each of them.

“We told you everyone starts off as friends,” Isabella reminds with a devious smirk.

“I know,” I sigh. “You told me last time.”

“It’s good to see it’s sticking,” Emily comments, hugging me. “It’s good for him . . . and clearly, it’s good for you. Look at you . . . you’re practically glowing.”

I swallow hard while I try to pretend to be unaffected by her words. She’s not the first person who didn’t know I was pregnant to claim that I’m
glowing
.

As nervous as I am about the whole pregnancy and children, especially other people’s children, people who I don’t know as well, I’m actually surprised by the feelings I have surfacing inside me — needing to hold Alexis and Olivia.

“Here,” Charlotte offers right as I get seated. “Alexis has been dying to see her Aunt Emma.”

“Yeah?” My hands dart out to cradle Alexis since Charlotte moves quicker than I expect.

“You’re a natural,” Isabella says with hints laced in her tone.

“Thanks,” I return nervously. “I have had some practice, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Charlotte replies. “Jade, her brother and cousin . . . they’re adorable.”

“How is your family, Emma?” Emily asks, changing the subject graciously.

“Great,” I answer. “Maggie’s five months pregnant now. Jared and Nathan are still trying to figure out a wedding date. Pop-Pop and Johanna are moving in together and all of Henry’s and Maggie’s family are doing well.”

“Wonderful,” Mrs. Covelli comments. “We must all come to visit soon.”

“That would be lovely,” I say. “I know they’d love to see everyone again.”

While we eat lunch, Alexis falls asleep in my arms; Charlotte insists on me spending time with my
hopefully soon-to-be niece
as she puts it. Emily comes to my defense, stating that Joe and I have just started dating and that they’ll scare me away with the talk of marriage already — if they only new exactly
how long
Joe and I have been together as well as some of our other conversations.

“Please,” Isabella returns. “We all know that they were dating before Nathan’s fashion show.”

“What?” I say, almost choking on my tea.

“Seriously, Emma?” Emily laughs. “We knew there was something up before Christmas . . . and Jimmy and Allen caught us up on the details when you two wouldn’t.”

“Jimmy has a big mouth,” Joe states under his breath.

“Come on, Joe,” David says. “You can’t blame him, can you? He’s proud of his little brother finding love just like him.”

My eyes widen at David’s nonchalant use of the word
love
.

“Emma’s the first woman you’ve ever introduced to the family,” he reminds.

Joe doesn’t reply.

“Plus,” Isabella begins, “a little birdie told us that you’ve been telling Emma that you love her since Valentine’s Day.” She pauses for a second, either for a dramatic effect or to see our reactions. “We’re all happy that you two are in love. We all kind of knew it was bound to happen when we first met her.”

I remain silent as I shift Alexis in my arms. No one else speaks for what feels like several minutes.

Conversations strike back up, on topics that aren’t about Joe’s and my relationship thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Covelli. As our meal continues, I make plans with the girls to get together for a few activities before Easter. At some point, our discussions head back toward business and David and Daniel become interested when Joe and I openly mention some of the possibilities we’re looking into for our next business investment, especially when Joe and I mention the need for faster and more fuel efficient jets.

The next day, Joe, Sadie and I make a visit over to New Jersey to see the Nelson’s and the girls. All of us meeting up at Martin’s and Celia’s restaurant. The girls are off from school and don’t stop talking about everything that is going on. Brittany came out to Martin and Celia about liking girls right after the New Year and she’s been lighter and happier since they reminded her how much they love her — they knew like I thought they did. Brittany and Leslie squeal or sigh loudly each time Joe kisses me; even the small little ones on the side of my head.

Each day that we don’t say anything to anyone about the baby, I become more excited and eager to tell them, confident that they’ll be happy for Joe and me. We decide to tell everyone; Joe’s family, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, Martin, Celia and the girls on Easter since we’ll all be together.

When it comes time for dessert on Easter Sunday to be served, butterflies swirl in my belly. Anna and the staff bring out the confections Anna, Joe and I made yesterday for everyone. A small, white box with a light, yellow ribbon wrapped around it is placed on everyone’s plate.

“What’s this?” Mrs. Covelli inquires.

“Dessert,” Anna confirms with a grin.

“Where are the pies and cakes?” Mr. Covelli checks. “I always have my banana cream pie.”

“Those will be out later. These are special,” Anna informs. “Mr. Joseph and Ms. Emma made them for everyone.”

“Joe . . . bake?” laughs John Jr.. “Right.”

“Oh, he did,” Allen confirms. “Jimmy and I watched them make these yesterday.”

“Emma is definitely a keeper if she’s able to get him to cook,” David playfully roasts.

“I knew how to cook before Emma,” Joe defends. “Baking is new, but I knew how to cook.”

His brothers laugh.

“They’re cute!” squeals Brittany as she is the first to open the box. “And, they look so yummy.” She takes out each cupcake and begins eating one of them, not realizing that she’s being watched.

Then, Leslie opens her’s and has the same reaction, digging into her first bite and exclaiming how tasty they are. All eyes bounce between Joe and me speculatively before everyone else opens their boxes.

I try to watch our friend’s and family’s faces closely as best as I can for their reaction. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Joe, Jimmy and Allen grinning. Joe and I had made two cupcakes for everyone. Each cupcake is exactly the same with vanilla cake and icing topped with two chocolatey Easter eggs — one pink with white dots and one blue with white dots.

Mrs. Covelli’s expression reveals that she is the first one to figure out our message as her eyes dart back and forth between the cupcakes in front of her to Joe and me. With the sweetest smile, she says, “I really hope that this is not a joke.”

Everyone pauses; all of the men seem confused while Mrs. Nelson, Celia, Emily, Isabella and Charlotte seem to pay closer attention.

“It’s not a joke, mother,” Joe confirms.

“What’s not a joke?” Tony asks with a mouthful of sweets.

Jimmy smacks Tony on the arm.

“What?” Tony asks, swallowing his bite.

“Is this what I think it is, Joseph?” Mrs. Covelli searches.

“What are you talking about, my love?” Mr. Covelli inquires.

“What do you think it is, mother?” Joe asks and then kisses the side of my head.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Mrs. Covelli says playfully.

“My love, what is going on?” Mr. Covelli investigates.

Joe’s hand caresses over my belly and his mother’s smile widens as her eyes fill with tears.

“Why are you crying?” Mr. Covelli says with concern.

“Oh my God,” Emily blurts.

“What?” Charlotte replies.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Mr. Covelli demands with a calm tone.

“Emma’s pregnant,” Jimmy blurts, slapping his hand over his mouth as soon as the words are said.

The room is completely silent for a few, brief seconds as everyone looks to Joe and me to confirm Jimmy’s announcement.

Mrs. Covelli bolts from her chair and rushes over to Joe and me, wrapping her arms around our necks before we even get the chance to shift in our seats. “This better not be a joke,” she declares kissing both of us.

“It’s not a joke, mom,” Joe verifies.

“Holy shit,” Tony exclaims.

“Language, Tony,” Emily scolds.

John Jr. smacks Tony on the arm as he and Emily move around the table toward Joe and me. Everyone takes turns hugging and kissing us, asking questions and talking over each other. Once they all sit back down, Joe and I explain that I found out a few weeks ago.

“And, you knew?” Isabella says to Jimmy. “How could you not tell us?”

“Joe made us swear,” Allen shares.

“So?” Charlotte comments. “You tell us everything.”

“We’re so happy for you,” Mrs. Nelson states, dabbing her eyes with a napkin.

I smile in reply.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Tony inquires.

“Why?” Jimmy chuckles. “Are you wanting to marry her if Joe doesn’t?”

“No,” Tony counters quickly. “But, I would if she would.”

Everyone, including myself laughs, but not Joe.

“Seriously, though,” Isabella presses. “Are you two going to get married now?”

“Not yet,” Joe answers. “We’re taking this one day at a time.”

“Why not?” Charlotte says.

“That’s between me and Emma,” Joe states sternly.

“Married or not, their child is a member of this family,” Mr. Covelli announces.

“Thank you, dad,” Joe replies.

I smile and nod while trying to prevent myself from crying.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Brittany asks innocently.

“We don’t know yet,” I answer. “It’s too soon to tell.”

Isabella, Charlotte and Emily beam with excitement in their eyes. Mrs. Covelli can’t stop crying which is causing me to cry a little too on occasion. Joe and his brother’s have a toast of scotch with their dad, Mr. Nelson and Martin while the girls and I toast with either wine or sparkling cider.

As the night continues on, my heart is filled with contentment and love for the people around me and how they’ve accepted me, Joe and our unborn child. It doesn’t matter who it is, but when we make eye contact, I see nothing but their sincerest happiness for Joe and me. Okay, maybe Tony is a little heartbroken, but he’ll get over it. Right? He teases Joe right in front of me about knocking me up but not marrying me. It’s cute and funny even though I see how it bother’s Joe a little.

When Tony walks away, I lean into Joe’s ear, “Other than the little Covelli growing in my belly, my heart belongs to you.”

The look on Joe’s face is priceless, laced with several emotions hidden in his eyes though he’s smiling. He pulls me closer and tenderly kisses me.