Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (36 page)

About ten or fifteen minutes later, like clockwork, Joe is sitting down on the same couch as me. Two seconds later, Jimmy and Allen come out as well. The three of them start chit-chatting as I read. My attention gets drawn to Joe who is suddenly massaging my left foot. I don’t look up, but I’m not able to read any longer because of his touch.

“What are you reading?” Allen explores.

“Some romance novel,” I whine.

“If you don’t like it, then why are you reading it?” Jimmy questions.

“Maggie joined a book club at the beginning of the year and signed me up for it too,” I explain. “Now, I’m stuck reading stupid, erotic, romance novels each month.”

Joe chuckles under his breath.

“What’s wrong with romance novels?” Jimmy contends as if he’s slightly offended by my statement.

“The books that the group keeps picking are about a bunch of stupid virgins who end up having sex with brooding billionaires, who are dominant men in business and in sex,” I say with mild agitation. “There’s not much story and the only decent parts are the sex scenes, even though they’re far fetched in how a man can please a woman. The naivety of the women is nauseating. Plus, the depictions of BDSM are weak. Not everyone who is into BDSM has a dark past.”

“Wow! Either you’re a virgin or you just really need to get laid,” Allen announces.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I am not a virgin,” I clarify.

“Someone needs to get laid then. All that angst, she must be really horny,” Jimmy comments with a smile.

I don’t say anything, but mentally I do agree with him. I am horny. I’m always horny. So horny that I’m masturbating practically two times a day, every day, except during the few days of my period.

“Had a boyfriend into BDSM?” Allen searches.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend. Remember. I don’t date,” I disclose.

“So you’re the one into BDSM?” Jimmy presses.

“Everyone is curious and experiments in BDSM at some level. Those who deny it to themselves and their partners are either in the closest or are prudes,” I point out.

Joe’s hand immediately stops massaging my foot.

“Please, tell us how you really feel,” Allen teases.

I blush a little at my rant and book bashing, but I think it’s hidden behind the light of the fire.

“Sounds like she’s never had a man properly satisfy her,” Jimmy adds.

“When needed, I’ve always been able to satisfy myself,” I openly share to my surprise.

At least I didn’t slip about Maggie and me. No need for more people to know about how Maggie and I interact.

Joe’s hand clamps down on my foot after my statement. I completely forgot that he was sitting here. He’s been so quiet the whole time. Crap. I offered too much to all of them.

“So how often do you to take care of yourself?” Jimmy prods with a grin.

Did he just really go there?

“Jimmy!” Joe scolds.

This is the second time I’ve heard him be stern with his brother.

“How often do you?” I throw back at him.

“I don’t need to with my awesome man right here,” Jimmy kisses up to Allen. They exchange a few pecks and snuggle more into each other.

“Please . . . I may have never been in a relationship with a man, but I’ve seen and heard about enough relationships to know that everyone masturbates, at some point or another, and I’m not talking about phone sex with your partner.”

The three of them stare at me blankly in complete shock to my openness.

“You know it’s true. Your lack of comment right now is proof.” I I add, desperately trying not to gloat on the outside about my victory.

After a few minutes of silence, Jimmy inquires, “Why don’t you date?”

“Choice,” I coldly comment.

Making assumptions, Jimmy challenges, “Had a bad relationship at one point?”

“Nope. Never had the desire to be in one,” I report calmly.

“Why not?” he presses.

“Jimmy, leave her alone,” Joe defends again with less irritation this time.

“Why? I know you’re dying to know,” Jimmy professes.

Despite the low light of the fire, I can see Joe’s face drain from all color except pure rosiness in his cheeks. I feel my own face flush a little hearing Jimmy’s statement.

The four of us sit quietly again. I’m searching for a topic to change to and I’m guessing that Jimmy’s looking for the next question to put me or Joe on the spot.

Unable to stand the silence, Allen asks to see the book and I hand it to him. After turning a page or two, Allen comments, “She’s right about the sex scenes being hot. I’m turned and it’s about heterosexuals . . . .”

“Really?!” Jimmy inquires. “Let me see that.”

I can’t help but giggle.

Breaking the silence as he gives me the book back, Jimmy investigates, “So, Emma. When’s your birthday?”

“Why?” I say rather sharply.

“I know when everyone else’s birthdays are; Jared’s is at the end of the month, Maggie’s in in July and Nathan’s is in August. When I asked them about yours they wouldn’t tell me.”

“It’s not important,” I respond flatly.

“How is your birthday not important?” Joe interjects.

“It’s not,” I argue.

“Everyone’s birthday is important,” Jimmy adds.

“Not mine,” I bitterly state.

“Even yours,” Jimmy pushes.

Cutting Jimmy off, I launch off the couch and repeat, “Not mine.” I turn and storm back to my room with Sadie following.

Aware that there’s a really good chance that Joe might follow, I immediately head to the bathroom, locking the door behind Sadie. I start the faucet for the extra large bathtub and add some of the bath salts that are in my bag. I swiftly open the door and rush to get my phone for music and mediation to calm my nerves. I release a large exhale of relief seeing my room empty. Back in the bathroom, I quickly undress and climb into the exquisite marble tub that can comfortably hold two large adults. A vision of sharing it with Joe tightens my nipples and tingles my sex — the things I would do him.

After some of the tension eases, I find some porn on my phone, and listening through my headphones as I use my waterproof vibrator, give myself three glorious orgasms. By the time my hands are pruney, I exit the bath and dry off. With just a robe on, I peek out to see who could be in my room — no one. I put my tank top and boy-shorts underwear back on and then accompany Sadie on the bed. With one light still on, I lay on my back staring at the ceiling petting Sadie. Feeling relaxed but still wide awake, I check the time. It’s barely midnight.

Sitting up to turn off the light, I spot Joe in the right sliding glass doorway. Sadie jumps down to greet him.

“Hey,” he says timidly.

“Hey,” I nervously reply.

“You okay?” He remains in the doorway.

“I’m fine.” I lie.

“Jimmy was just . . .” He stands back up as Sadie jumps back on the bed.

“It’s okay.” I offer.

“Good . . .” he humbly accepts. “If you need me, I’m right next door. Okay?” Joe doesn’t come inside my room.

Wow! Did he really listen to what I said earlier about him staying out of my room? I’m impressed.

“Yeah . . .” I agree.

He really is giving me some space.

“Emma . . . .”

“Yeah, Joe.”

“Goodnight, beautiful,” he states in a voice that instantly charms me.

“Goodnight, Joe,” I reply softly.

As I attempt to lift my heavy eyelids, I discover a hazy darkness surrounding me. Blinking slowly several times, my half-opened eyes won’t focus to give me any clear indication of what’s around me and where the blurry, flashing lights above are coming from. My body feels heavy. Still unable to open my eyes all the way, I perceive that I’m laying down somewhere. A cool dampness near my left cheek reveals itself as a slight gust of air brushes past my face. Sliding my right arm up the side of my body like a snake, my fingers creep to my lips. Drool — or, at least I hope so.

Two large and oddly shaped figures materialize in front of me. They are so close, only a foot or two away. Voices suddenly emanate from the now more defined silhouettes. Their speech sounds muffled and trails off into the distance even as I try to concentrate on their words. Who are they? What are they saying? Why can’t I understand them? One of the voices almost sounds feminine.

Another indistinguishable sound gradually becomes more apparent as it grows louder and the ringing in my ears subsides. It’s the engine of a car. My brain finally starts to put the fuzzy pieces of evidence together. I must have fallen asleep in the back seat. A familiar smell creeps into my nose that reassures me — my mother’s perfume.

“Mom?” my throat squeezes out in a raw, breathy, hoarse tone.

“Wake up, Emma.” Her voice replies in a low sluggish tone.

What is she talking about? I am awake.

A sudden rush of nervousness enters my belly. The car feels as if it’s flying down the road like a rocket ship as the speed of the flashing lights zooming above my head all blur into one.

“Mom,” I try to shout, but not a single sound escapes my mouth this time. Confused, I try again. “Mom!”

She doesn’t hear me. I don’t hear me.

A single, bright white light races towards us, growing larger by the second. My mother turns her head towards me smiling. Why doesn’t she hear me? How does she not see the light?

“Wake up, Emma,” she repeats, this time with a deeper tone.

Confused, I try again. “Mom!”

“Emma, wake up,” the voice commands, getting louder.

My body hurls up as my eyes adjust to a soft light in the room. “Joe?”

“You had another dream. Sadie came to get me. I know you wanted me to stay in my room, but . . .” his voice drops and I jump into his lap, throwing my arms around his neck gripping him tight. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He rocks us gently. “Do you need me to stay?”

“Can we go to your room?” I whimper into his neck.

“Of course,” he replies, not letting go and carries me to his bed.

He combs his fingers through my hair as I lay facing him with our legs laced together. Seeking more comfort and contact, I inch my lips to his, grazing them on first contact. Our mouths gradually waltz together like their dancing to the beginning of The Beautiful Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II. As our kissing becomes more passionate, my left arm drifts over his hip and up his back, desperately tugging him further into me.

Suddenly alarmed by my body contradicting my brain, I jerk back. “I’m sorry… . . .” I blurt in an attempt to atone for my actions.

“It’s okay,” he soothes, coaxing my body closer.

“No, it’s not,” I verbally protest. “It’s not fair. I say one thing and then do . . . .”

“Emma, it’s okay,” he sweetly assures.

I shyly kiss him again with a lingering peck. He chases mine with one of his own.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“What?” I say confused.

Why would I want to talk about kissing him and leading him on?

“The dream,” he comments softly.

“No.”

“Maybe I can help if you tell me,” he encourages.

“Talking about it doesn’t help,” I remark. “Jared’s known for years and I still get them.” A tear pools in the corner of my eye.

“Okay,” he apologies. “I just don’t like seeing you like this.”

“I’ll be fine,” I assert with a feeling of routine that accompanies these nightmares and their aftermath. “I just need to sleep.”

Moving closer, he wraps himself around me. “Goodnight, beautiful,” his voice sings.

My heart bounces at his words and a smile develops on my face. “Goodnight, Joe.”

The steady, warmth of Joe’s breathing into my neck lures me from slumber. The combined heat from our bodies and the blankets surrounding us is causing me to sweat a little. I carefully kick the covers down, to cool my body, wanting to extend the enjoyment of being cocooned by his solid mass.

Strengthening his grip around me, he moans. “What are you doing?”

“I was hot.”

“Yes, you are,” he erotically states.

I poke him in his side in opposition to his meaning. Joe flinches and his lips meet my neck and my body goes instantly rigid.

“What’s wrong?” he notices.

“No kissing there,” I direct.

I don’t really want him to stop, but my neck is one of my Achilles’ heels when it comes to physical intimacy, especially if it’s done just the way I like it. One or two more kisses and we will be naked.

“Why?”

“Because I said so,” I inform.

He nibbles my neck this time, causing me to emphatically moan and salivate between my legs. “I will get out of the bed,” I weakly threaten.

Chuckling, Joe captures my face, seducing me into an amorous kiss and embrace. I uncontrollably give in, but I haven’t completely lost my wits enough to allow the breaking of my rules. As our lips stay locked, our desires heighten. His lust for me is obvious with each moan that escapes his throat. Joe breaks contact first, panting like he’s trying to maintain control. Looks like I’m not the only one severely affected by all of this.

Sadie sees an opportunity and moves in for attention. She plops her head on the dip of my waist, and using her nose, prompts Joe’s arm to pet her. Getting the response she wants, Sadie wedges her body between Joe’s and mine. The three of us snuggle until I can no longer wait to pee. I head to the patio door to make sure no one is outside before I head to my room to use the restroom. Joe quietly makes his disappointment known.

After feeding Sadie, Joe and I take her for a walk on the beach and then have some breakfast. Our appointment for the spa is at eight, which gives us an hour and a half to eat and shower. Knowing that I’ll be naked at the spa, I slip on a lace thong and go braless under my cute floral halter sundress.

The spa staff greet us warmly as we enter. Once I get undressed in a private room, a woman leads me into another room where my three companions are waiting. When I question them about why we’re all in the same room, Jimmy informs me that he arranged for the four of us to have the entire spa to ourselves and any of the items I chose, they planned on doing too. Overall, I wouldn’t care except for the fact that Joe is here and I’m completely naked under my robe.

Settling into the first treatment on four massage tables lined up in a row, we start off with a fifty-minute deep tissue massage. I’m delightfully pleased when I get the masseur. Hiwalani, meaning the attractive one, which fits him perfectly, effortlessly kneads the tension out of each region of my body including my rear. My boisterous moaning gets Jimmy, Allen and the other masseuses giggling. More laughter erupts from Jimmy and Allen when Joe’s masseuse comments on how stiff his body becomes, making her job impossible.

“You’ll have to excuse Joe,” Jimmy shares loud enough for everyone to hear. “I think it’s been a while since he’s heard a woman moan like that, if at all.”

Embarrassed, I nervously giggle, realizing that I may be the cause of Joe’s tension.

Hiwalani and the other masseuses leave the room when they are finished with the treatment, allowing us to clothe ourselves. Jimmy and Allen get up first. Joe remains lying on his stomach with his face in the table cutout offering for me to get up before him. Once my robe is tied, I keep my back to Joe and let him know that it’s safe to get up and put on his robe.

We’re lead into another peaceful room where our E Ola Hou, the Hawaiian healing wrap, will take place. We each have our own lounge chairs that are divided by sheer curtains. As our bodies are exfoliated with ground coconut polish and noni gel, we also receive the third treatment which is a facial that cleanses, exfoliates, extracts, relaxes and massages our pores. I find the sight of three grown men and their bodies wrapped through the sheer curtains is hysterical when I look to my left.

After our body wraps and facials, we’re offered some light refreshments before heading to our final treatment. I had only planned on the three services, but Joe added a fourth as a final treatment. Taken into my own private room, the specialist begins an interesting and interactive session called tapping. It focuses on meridian points throughout the body where you tap on certain locations to relieve stress. I found myself crying uncontrollably several times which at first increased my stress level. I never cry in front of people I don’t know, let alone the fact that I rarely cry. The woman explains that it is a natural response the body uses to release not only the stress, but the emotional blockages that build up. Apparently other responses like burping, yawning, laughter, scratching and even flatulence can also occur. She shows me a variety of techniques to use and recommends that I continue with other treatments either with another practitioner back home or by myself, repeating the techniques she shows me.

Once we finish our spa morning, Jimmy, Allen, Joe and I meet up with the rest of my friends for lunch in the hotel. We swap stories about what we had done the day before and this morning since we haven’t seen each other since the dinner the day of our hike. I note a distinct difference with myself being around Maggie and Henry. I’m more relaxed when everyone discusses planning their wedding. The day and a half away from them, plus my exquisitely calming morning most likely had something to do with it.

After an early lunch, Jimmy, Allen, Joe, Sadie and I head out on an excursion for fine, local Hawaiian art for a few hours. Thanks to the people at the hotel and others Jimmy and Allen have spoken to the past few days, we head directly to a couple of artists’ studios. Jimmy and Allen schedule a wide variety of artwork from two out of the four artists’ work whom we meet to be purchased and shipped back to the East Coast. They are planning to do a show in New York before the end of the year and purchase a few of the pieces to put on display ahead of time in the gallery as well as in their own home.

Back at the hotel by three, we all opt to hang around the hotel pool for the rest of the day. Feeling overwhelmed with sudden fatigue, I head back to the suite to take a nap instead of using the cabana. Too tired to change, I flop on the bed and pass out into a deep sleep.

I wake to Joe gingerly caressing his fingers along the side of my face.

“It’s time to get up, beautiful,” he instructs.

Rolling over, I groggily protest, “No.”

The bed shifts from his movement. “Time to get ready for dinner,” he whispers.

I drag my heavy body into a seated position. ‘What time is it?” My eyes flutter unable to fully open

“Almost five-thirty.”

“Wow. Really?” I check the clock, not that I don’t believe him, but I want to see it for myself. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Getting ready. I just fed Sadie, so you’re good to go.” Giving me a soft peck, Joe stands and heads for the door.

I’ll admit that I’m disgruntled with only one kiss.

Forcing my body up, I shower and masturbate before getting dressed. With just a little bit of makeup, I twist my hair up and put on a cute aquamarine blue cocktail dress along with a pair of open-toed, sparkling Valentino heels. For jewelry, I put on a vanilla moonstone triangle necklace with a fourteen karat gold, twenty-four inch chain and matching bracelet.

Everyone from the upstairs suite comes down to pick the rest of us up for dinner. We follow our exclusive server to our breathtaking, private, oceanfront table that overlooks the Wailea Beach. The sun slowly begins to set on the horizon, splashing beautiful blues and golds across the sky as we savor the multi-course feast that has been prepared for us and several bottles of wine.

With it being our second to last evening in Maui, we all head out to one of the popular local clubs for a night of dancing. I keep my alcohol intake to a very small minimum as does Joe and Henry. Maggie, Jared, Nathan, and Jimmy cut loose. I see Allen have a few sips of Jimmy’s drinks, but doesn’t order any for himself.

Taking a quick break from dancing for another drink, Maggie and Jared, in their light, intoxicated stupor, decide to single me out. “It’s Emma’s song!”

“This is not my song,” I flatly oppose, recognizing Rihanna’s
Where Have You Been
blaring over the speakers.

“Yes it is,” Maggie insists. “You have yet to find a man who can satisfy you.”

My eyes widen with horror. I don’t like too many people knowing that much about me and my friends’ openness around Henry and Joe, and now Jimmy and Allen, is starting to bug me. I get it. They’re becoming friends too, but I don’t need everyone we hang out with to know so much about me.

“Yep,” Jared supports and proceeds to sing loudly.

Nathan and Maggie quickly chime in as I silently disagree.

“B.O.B. satisfies me just fine,” I contend.

“B.O.B. does not count,” Maggie opposes.

“Who’s Bob?” Jimmy searches. “I thought Emma doesn’t date.”

Nathan fails to see my pressing look not to share. “Battery operated boyfriend,” he delivers without hesitation and a huge smile on his face.

I get smug looks from Jimmy and Allen as they whisper to each other. Joe’s expression I can’t quite figure out. Crap. I just opened up that door.

For most of the night, Maggie and I are the ones dancing from our group. Jared and Nathan pop in from time to time, but are primarily chatting with the guys at the bar. Maggie ends up drinking a little more than usual, causing her to get more playful in public.

“Not here,” I direct, gently pushing her away from me.

We dance for another song or two until she announces, “I need to pee.”

In the restroom, we both enter the same stall. It’s become a regular habit over the years when there’s a long line or one of us has had too much to drink. We take turns with Maggie going first. As I finish fixing my dress, Maggie kisses me. We embrace each other and kiss more passionately. When Maggie dips her hand under my dress, I push her against the stall wall, pinning her.

“Not here,” I command.

I’m tempted to continue, but I know that this is not the place nor the time.

“But I want it,” she whines, leaning forward to catch my lips.

“Henry’s right out there,” I suggest.

“I want you,” she begs.

“This trip is for you and Henry,” I rationalize.

“I know you need it,” she pokes. “I need it too.”

“That’s beside the point,” I challenge. “You know how I am about doing things in public and having too many people know. I like my privacy.”

“Back at the hotel,” she entices.

I want her too. We’ve only interacted three times the past two month since she started having sex with Henry. The physical interactions with Joe are escalating faster than I have anticipated. If I don’t sleep with Maggie, I just might end up sleeping with Joe.

“No.” I object. “When we get home.”

She pouts, but then has the look in her eye of a lightbulb moment. “Remember our first time?”

“Of course I do,” I agree. There’s no way I could ever forget it.

Maggie and I were eighteen and still virgins. Sophie, one of Jared’s lesbian friends, worked at an adult shop in WeHo and helped us pick out our first sex toys. We weren’t uncomfortable with Sophie, just the subject matter. I still remember the giddy, nervous feeling I had when we were in the store just looking at all of our options. The feeling heightened when Sophie was handling them and instructing us on which ones she preferred and why, as well as some great position. Sophie inquired to our sudden interest since we had always seemed embarrassed when the topic of sex came up when hanging out prior to our visit. We hesitated at first to give her our reason, but I’m pretty sure she was able to deduce our intentions from some of the questions we asked. Sophie was very thorough and informative, she even offered some insight on what to expect, but ultimately, she said, it’s different for each person with regards to the level of pain in the beginning.

When Jared caught wind of what Maggie and I were planning, he bought us a few bottles of wine to help take the edge off for when we were ready. Even with someone you trust, it is nerve racking to know you are about to deflower yourself with your best friend. That night, sitting on the bed in the discrete plastic bag, hidden inside my large canvas tote bag I carried around, were three different toys along with some porn sites written on the receipt. Maggie and I sat staring at the bag in my room probably for at least an hour before either one of us said anything. Our pact and New Year’s resolution needed to come to fruition, but that Friday night we just couldn’t do anything but stare, laugh and even play with the toys in ways that were not how they were intended to be played with as we watched a variety of porn. We had never seen porn before, let alone what a penis really looked like. Maggie was staying the whole weekend, so it made it easier for us to get used to holding and touching the toys and the sights and sounds of sex on the laptop.

The next day, Jared went out with one of his new friends at the time, so we had the apartment to ourselves. After lunch, we resolved to meet our agreement, so we started watching more porn to help coax us into action. Hours went by and we became more comfortable with the overall concept and idea as we played at least two videos per category. Soon, we became comfortable enough to comment on what looked fun and what we might be willing to try with each other and in the future with guys. I admitted to her that I’ve masturbated and did regularly and was relieved when she shared that she did the same. We were at least familiar with the feeling of being aroused, touched and having an orgasm.

By early evening, we were halfway through a bottle of wine when we were starting to feel a little more adventurous. Putting on a video of three lesbians, we consented to begin touching ourselves while still clothed, and then perhaps go from there. My eyes bounced between the video and Maggie and they eventually settled on watching just Maggie. Our eyes stayed locked on each other until we both orgasmed. As I recovered, Maggie moved closer to me and brought her lips to mine. Her lips were soft, wet and gentle.