Just for the Summer (Chasing Carolina #0.5) (17 page)

I take another long sip of my coffee before resting my head against his chest. “The second I saw you, I felt something I’d never felt with anyone else. It scared me, but at the same time, it excited me. I told myself to just have fun with you, and the second I started to feel as if we were getting too serious, I’d walk away, but I just couldn’t. I was selfish and wanted to have you any way I could, and look where it’s left me.” I choke out the last words and brush away the tears that are now falling again.

I breathe in a shaky breath and let out another sob as Chase hugs me tightly against his side, kissing my hair. I’m going to miss this, miss him so much it’s almost too painful to bear.

I hate that I’m crying. I hate that I love him, but at the same time, I don’t think I’d go back and change anything, even if I had the choice. Because love, even when it ends painfully, is still magical at one point in time, and that magic is what we have to hold onto, so we don’t lose hope in the idea that our happily ever after is still out there.

“Believe me, Ashlynn. I hate this. I hate seeing you cry. If I could fix this, I would, but I just don’t see how we could continue like we have, when we live thousands of miles apart. Could you really be happy with a guy you’d only see maybe once a month? I was stupid enough to think I could be with you casually and then let you leave. I knew continuing my relationship with you was wrong. We can call it friends just hooking up all we want, but we both know it’s grown into more than that. Somewhere along the way, we both fell in love with each other. No matter how crazy we knew it was, we both continued this. The truth is I never want to let you go. It feels like a knife in my chest when I think about you leaving, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and neither can you, because your life is in Georgia and mine’s in North Carolina.”

Standing, I set my coffee cup down and then sit in Chase’s lap. Is it crazy I need to feel his arms around me to help ease the pain that’s eating away at me? I keep telling myself to make him leave. It’ll be easier to get in the car and drive away if we put space between us now, but I can’t. I need to get as much of him can before I have to go.

I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my feet against the arm of the seat snuggle into his chest. I press kisses to his neck let my tears fall. “Even as my heart breaks at this very moment, I want you to know I don’t regret falling in love with you.”

Chase’s arms tighten around me feel a tear fall from his chin and land on my cheek, blending with my own. I feel my heart squeeze in my chest realize he’s crying too. I’ve never seen a guy cry before. Knowing Chase is hurting too helps ease my pain, but at the same time, intensifies it.

My emotions are all over the place.

“I don’t regret a single moment spent with you. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you drooling over my abs.” He laughs as he wipes his hand across his face. “I swear to you no matter what happens, I’ll always love you, Ashlynn Marie. Myrtle Beach will always be ours. Forever and always.”

Not long after that, everyone gets up and loads the car while drinking their coffees and eating their breakfast. I nibble on a few bites of my muffin, but my stomach is wound so tightly I can’t get more than that into me.

While we are loading up the last of our stuff, Chase runs inside his house, and then moments later, returns with his hoodie I’d worn on a few occasions over the last month. It’s black with checkered flags, and says Kenzington Motorsports across the front in red and white block letters.

“I want you to have this. I was going to give you a Tar Heels one to be a smart ass, but I want to give you one I know you’ll wear. I dowsed it in my cologne, because I know how much you love it, so I hope it’ll last a while.” He furrows his brow me as a sly grin dances across his lips. I smile back up at him, happy my tears have stopped for now. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you sniffing me…so don’t try to deny it.”

Laughing, I hug the hoodie to my chest and breathe it in. “I love it. Thank you.” My voice starts to shake, but I take a deep breath and push the sadness away.

We stand in the driveway holding each other for the longest time, trying to prolong the inevitable. Finally, after Tamara slams on the horn, we break apart. “I better go before they get out and drag me to the car.” I laugh nervously.

“I hate that you have to leave, but we can still talk every day.” Taking my hand, he walks me to my car, and pressing me against the driver’s side door, he cups my face in his hands and kisses me one last time. I savor the feeling of his lips on mine, eagerly taking everything from him that I can. When we break apart, my heart is racing and my breathing is fast. “Goodbye, Chase.”

“Goodbye, Ashlynn.” He kisses my forehead and whispers, “Thank you for the best summer of my life.”

The tears I’ve been fighting begin to fall freely. I smile weakly up at him run my hand over his scruffy cheek. “It was, wasn’t it?” I ask as I slide my eyes over his face and then turn to give the beach and our temporary home for the last month one more glance. “Thank you, Chase, for asking me to go out on your boat and not taking no for an answer, even though you tried to play it off like you didn’t care either way. That moment changed our lives forever.” I give him one more peck on the lips and slip into my car.

I watch him disappear towards his house before I start the car. I’m glad he didn’t stay outside to watch me leave.

“Are you okay? I can drive if you want?” Tamara asks, resting her hand over mine, which is gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles are turning white.

Shaking my head, I tell her, “I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.” What I’m telling her are just words, because the reality of it is I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.

I glance back at Becca, who’s looking somber as she texts on her phone. “How are you holding up?”

She sets her phone on her lap and looks up at me. “About as good as you. Why did we have to go and fall for them? Is it really that hard to just enjoy a good lay? We just had to let our hearts fuck it all up.” She gives me a big grin as she wipes a tear from her cheek. “At least he’s keeping his word and texting me. The second my ass hit this seat, he texted me saying he missed me already.”

Backing the car out, I crank up Jason Aldean’s
My Kind Of Party,
and head towards I-95 South.

May 25
th
2011

WALKING THROUGH THE GARAGE
at Charlotte Motor Speedway, I head towards the garage, where my team’s working on my car. This Saturday will be my first official race in my hometown as a full-time NASCAR Nationwide Series driver. We’ve already had thirteen races, and I’ve finished in the top five every time. My dad’s confident I have a good chance of winning the championship at the end of the season if I can get a few wins under my belt.

If all goes well, I’ll hopefully be burning the tires off my car at the checkered flag Saturday. My crew is saying they’ve built an awesome car for the race. We’ll see once we do our qualifying tomorrow.

I’ve been flying all over racing since February, and spent all the months before that preparing for the season, so I haven’t had any time to go to Athens to see Ashlynn. I tried to get her to come to a race and spend the weekend with me, but with school and all her charity work, she said she didn’t have any free time to leave school.

Back at the beginning of March, she asked if I would be able to fly down and stay with her in Daytona for the week, while she and her friends vacationed there for spring break. I had to race in Las Vegas on the fifth, so flew down on the sixth to meet her. When we saw each other, it was as if it were just yesterday we were together. She felt amazing in my arms. I never wanted to let her go. I had the following weekend off from racing, so spent the entire week with her.

She was the same beautiful, carefree girl I’d met on the beach last summer, but if possible, even more gorgeous. She was so excited to show me her first tattoo when she came strutting out of the beach house in her teeny, tiny bikini. She told me our summer together inspired it and I had to agree; it was the perfect tattoo.

Along her left ribcage, in fancy script font, were the words A
lways be wild & free,
with a dandelion coming out of the last ‘e’, and blowing along her side, turning into seagulls flying away.

We agreed to just stay friends, because with my career taking off and her being busy with her junior year of college, there’s no time to focus on a relationship. We both decided it was best to not put false expectations on one another, so we openly date other people. Well, for her, she dates. Me? I just screw. I can’t give a woman more than that, because I lost my heart back in South Carolina and I never want to get it back. It belongs to Ashlynn, as hers belongs to me.

I try to text her as much as I can, and keep her updated on my career, along with all of my growing fans by keeping up with my Facebook and Twitter.

Hopefully one day, we’ll have better timing and finally get our chance, but for now, I’ll take what I can get from her. Right now, she wants us to stay this way, because it makes not seeing each other a little less painful.

“You ready to test out the car?” my crew chief, Elliot, asks as he adjusts his number 10 ballcap on his head. I picked the number when I got my official car for the Nationwide Series. It’s a way for me to show Ashlynn, even on the track, her and the summer of 2010 are always on my mind.

Zipping up my fire suit, I climb through the window into my car and slip on my helmet before getting to work buckling my harness. My pit crew pushes the car out of the garage so I can test it out and see what we’re getting for each lap’s top speed and time. My goal is to win the poll at qualifying tomorrow.

Flicking all the switches, my car revs to life. I drive through pit road, pull out onto the track, and begin driving around the circle. I never feel more alive than I do when I’m behind the wheel.

“She feels a little tight on the corners, but other than that, I think we got a good car for this weekend’s race,” I tell Elliot through my radio.

After running ten laps around the track, I pull back into pit road to see what Elliot has to say. As I’m climbing out of the car and slipping my helmet off, my mouth hangs open as I spot the most beautiful blonde to ever grace this planet standing behind my pit box wall, talking with a few of my crew members.

Everyone knows of her, but have never actually met her in person. I talk about Ashlynn all the time, driving my crew nuts, but when they work for me, it comes with the territory.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I unzip my suit and tie the arms around my waist. It’s hotter than a witch’s titty today in Charlotte, and the humidity is a killer.

She looks absolutely beautiful in her tight floral sundress and cowgirl boots.

“I came to watch your ass finally win a race,” she tells me nonchalantly as she holds her hands out to pull me in for a hug and a much needed kiss.

Giving her ass a squeeze, I kiss her hard and moan into her mouth as her lips part, allowing my tongue access to tangle with hers. She tastes like sunshine and sweet tea, warming my mouth and making my dick harden in my race suit.

No other girl can hold a candle to Ashlynn. I sound like an asshole, but every time I fuck a girl, it’s her face I picture as I cum. I’d never get it up if I didn’t, but I’m a guy and we need that release, so I make do with what I have.

“Just so you know, we’re not leaving my house until absolutely necessary, because I plan on fuckin’ that sweet pussy of yours while I can. The Beast has been very homesick.”

She lets out the cutest giggle as she wiggles out of my embrace. “Well, I’m only here until Saturday night, and then I have to fly back to Georgia first thing Sunday.”

I give her a questionable glance as I take her hand and lead her into the garage. “I thought you just finished classes this week. Why do you have to rush back home?”

Her eyes fill with sadness and she quickly diverts them to the floor. Whenever she’s unable to look me in the eye, it’s always a bad thing.

“I got a scholarship to study abroad for the summer in London, and an internship with a travel magazine based there. It’s a great opportunity for me. Plus, Nikki’s coming too, so I won’t be alone. I needed to see you before I left, because I’ll be gone all summer, and by the time I return, fall semester will be starting.”

Well, fuck. I got my hopes up, because she showed up here, and it’s just to tell me she’s leaving and going halfway across the fucking world.