Just My Luck (A Shamrock Falls Novel) (Entangled: Bliss) (15 page)

Not good-bye… Just going back to the way things always were.
If it were really possible. Honestly, the thought of working with him scared her to death.

“You still deserve the rest of the money from our arrangement. You would have fulfilled your responsibility to me.”

Betsy closed her eyes. Took a couple deep breaths as though it could dull the pain of his words. Then she thought again about how it felt when he saw her and her mom today. The fact stood, she was angry with him. For the back and forth and for setting foot on the home’s property when he had to know she wouldn’t want him to. If it were something she would have been okay with, she wouldn’t have hidden it in the first place.
That’s not fair. It’s not his fault.

But the anger acted as a buffer to the pain that threatened to destroy her.

“I don’t want the money.” They hadn’t stayed together, so she didn’t deserve it. She’d figure something out. Pick up a second job. Whatever she had to do for her mom, especially now. The first half of the money he gave her already went to help, so it gave her more time to figure it out. And if she had to move her mom to another home, one the state helped with, she’d just have to do it.

“B…” Jace started, but didn’t finish. He sighed, and walked around so she was forced to look at him. “Take it. You deserve it.” He pressed an envelope into her hand and walked out.

Betsy paused, taking a couple deep breaths and giving Jace time to go where he planned to go. When she heard a door close, she set the money on the bed, grabbed her bags, and left.

Chapter Fourteen

Jace sat in his car outside Debbie’s house. Or he guessed her other house, since the only place he’d ever wanted to live was now officially hers. As much as he knew it should hurt, or as much as it probably did hurt, Jace couldn’t feel any of it. He was numb. Empty. Alone again.

Why had he never realized how lonely he felt before? Yes, he knew he’d hated it when Wallace left so often. Missed his parents, but he’d never had the emptiness filling up his chest like he had now.

It’ll go away. You’ll be fine.
He was always fine. There hadn’t been any point to keeping Betsy there if it wasn’t where she wanted to be. From the beginning he wanted her to be okay with the arrangement and if she’d only stayed because she felt she owed it to him, he wouldn’t keep her there.

He flashed back to the money that she’d left on the bed. He hadn’t been surprised. He expected something like that from her. Jace still wanted her to have it, so he did the only thing he could think of—used it to help with her mom’s care.

Jace got out of the car and went straight to the door. Betsy had left yesterday. He had the weekend before they would face each other again at work, so he might as well get this over with now. Because regardless, if it was today, tomorrow, or two weeks from now, the outcome would be the same. He’d failed in Wallace’s crazy last wish for him.

Raising his fist, Jace knocked on the door. Only a few second passed before Debbie answered.

She was so different than his grandfather. Wallace was always very put together: suit and ties. Business man. Nothing came before work. Whereas Debbie dressed in bright colors and flowing skirts. She’d always been such a free spirit, and he just always figured that was why they’d never become serious. They were too different.

“Hello, Jace,” she said. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

The urge rumbled inside him to tell her she was wrong. It wasn’t pleasant because he was losing the two things that meant the world to him—Betsy and his house.

“Deb.” Jace nodded at her and walked inside. Her house was small, cozy. In a way it reminded him of Betsy’s little apartment with the warm colors and comfort.

The door closed behind him and Jace leaned against the couch. “It’s over. I didn’t make it. Betsy’s left. I’ll be out of your house soon.” The words hurt. As he stood there, everything began to come crashing down on him. All that he really was losing. And it was almost difficult to breathe.

“Oh, Jace. I’m so sorry.” Debbie stepped toward him, but stopped at the look he gave her.

“Sorry you’re taking my home?”

Deb sighed before sitting down on the couch. “We really made a mess of things, didn’t we?”

Jace didn’t answer. Wasn’t sure how, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw sadness.

“Will you sit with me for a few minutes, please? I’d like to tell you a story.”

It was the sad tinge to her voice that made him do it when all he wanted was to walk out of the house and never look back.
And…what? Be alone?

Jace sat on the couch beside Deb. It took her a few minutes to get started, as though she needed to prepare herself. “Wallace had a hard time when your parents passed.”

Anger spiked inside him. “
He
had a hard time? That made two of us, only I was six. Six. I needed him and—”

“I know you did. Believe me, I’m not excusing him. I just want to make sure you know. He struggled with it too. He’d lost his daughter, but on top of that, he wrestled with guilt because he knew he wasn’t doing right by you.”

Then why didn’t he?
Jace wanted to ask.
Why didn’t he make it right?

“I know it’s not an excuse, but he’d just never been raised to be a real affectionate man. You know he grew up in foster care and he was always distant. Full of life, but distant.”

Jace wanted to smile at that. Wallace
had
been full of life: vacations, skydiving, hiking. He’d done it all. But he’d done it alone.

“He worked hard because he hadn’t had much growing up. For the first time he was living what he considered a life. His childhood had given him nothing he wanted and suddenly he could do
anything
he desired. Then he met Nancy and they had your mom. I think that was the first time he knew love. When he lost Nancy…well, I think he saw it as life was taking something away from him. He finally had what he wanted and he lost it.”

Jace closed his eyes, trying to ignore the familiarities he heard in her story. “He had my mom.”

Debbie nodded. “He did and he loved her with all his heart, but it hurt to be around her too because she reminded him of Nancy. And…well, I think after not having so much, he saw
stuff
as success. That if he gave your mom everything he could, worked hard enough, she would have things no one could take away from her.”

Which was what he’d done with Jace too. Jace had never lacked for “things.” Growing up, whatever all the kids wanted, Jace had. The only thing he’d been missing was love.

“When he’d been working a lot…or just came home from a work trip,” Jace said, “he’d always take me shopping. He’d bring me to the toy store and give me a cart, then wait by the front and let me fill it with whatever I wanted.” There had been times Jace loved that. Felt so lucky because he could have anything he wanted from that store, but other times he had been just going through the motions.

“I know it’s wrong, Jace, but that was how he tried to show you he loved you…that he was sorry, because he couldn’t do it with words.”

Jace thought about himself giving the delivery kid extra money because he knew the kid had lost someone close to him. And how he’d paid for Betsy’s mom’s care when she left the money. Even back to their date and how he’d wanted to make it perfect by showing her all the connections he had and what he could give her. Why couldn’t he have told the kid he was sorry for what he’d been through, rather than handing him a twenty?

He shook his head, hating the connections he began to form. Luckily Debbie spoke again, giving him a reprieve from his thoughts.

“He was scared to lose people he cared about. If he didn’t get too close, it wouldn’t hurt too much. I…”

Jace looked over to see tears in Debbie’s eyes. His hand fought to stay locked on his knee, but Jace made himself reach over and grab her hand.

“I know he never loved me the way he loved Nancy, but I don’t doubt for a second that he
did
love me. He showed it in the little ways.”

Jace’s voice cracked when he spoke. “And that was enough? You waited all those years. Stayed behind while he tried to conquer the world and he never married you until he was dying. Never moved you into our house. How did you do it?”

She gave him a sad smile. “I knew he loved me. When it was just us…he let me into his heart in a way I know he wouldn’t have done with anyone else. We talked about you a lot over the years. Your mother, even Nancy and his childhood. I will go to my grave knowing that Wallace loved me the best way he knew how, just like I know he loved you, Jace. He loved you so much and was so very proud of you.

“And…” She took a moment to wipe her eyes. “When it counted, he did marry me. He wanted to die as my husband and that gives me some kind of solace.”

Jace took a deep breath, trying to fight off the tears that threatened. “I’m…I’m just like him, aren’t I?”

She squeezed his hand tightly. “The difference is, you’re much younger than he was when you realized it. You have more time to make a change.”

Jace couldn’t help it—he pulled his hand away. His elbows rested on his knees and he buried his face in his hands. And who he saw didn’t surprise him…Betsy. He’d pushed her away when they were getting too close. When he hurt her because he couldn’t have everything his way. He was so scared of losing her, the way he had his parents and the way he’d never thought he had his grandfather, that he pulled away before that could happen.

And he hadn’t seen it. Had blamed her because she wasn’t ready to share a very painful part of her life with him.

“Betsy… Do you love her?”

Jace’s head snapped toward Deb at the question. Did he? He thought about how it felt to laugh with her. Easy things like watching sports with her and how he’d never felt the kind of joy he did when they were together. How watching her come out of her shell felt like something wonderful was happening to him.

How a gesture as small as her giving him doughnuts filled him up. The way even before their marriage, she calmed him. How he talked to her…maybe the same way Wallace did with Debbie.

How very beautiful she was to him.

“Yes. I do.” The revelation didn’t scare him. Didn’t hurt him. Hell, he felt happy because he did love that woman and he’d fight the world to keep her. Fight his past and his insecurities or whatever else it took to call her his.

“Then you go to her. Don’t be like Wallace. Don’t you live a life of regrets, Jace. Do it for you. For her, me, Wallace. For your mom. Maybe if I’d tried to push Wallace earlier, things would have been different. You know…he hoped you would pick her. He told me about how when you were busy she’d help out. He thought very fondly of Betsy.”

Wallace had seen her before Jace had.

Jace moved to his feet. He needed to find Betsy right now. To find a way to make it right. Debbie stood too and Jace pulled her into a hug. This was his grandfather’s wife. She’d been in his life since he was young, yet he couldn’t remember ever hugging her. “Don’t blame yourself,” he said. “He needed to see it in his own time.”

“You’re right. I know that. I just miss him. Miss the time we could have had.”

Jace gave her another squeeze. “I apologize for the way I treated you. I felt betrayed and I didn’t understand.”

“Don’t worry about it. Now go,” Debbie told him. Jace made it all the way to the front door before her voice stopped him. “And the house was always yours, Jace. No matter what happened, I was to give it to you at the end of the six months. Wallace just hoped… I think he wanted to try and make things right. Hoped you wouldn’t be like him forever.”

He should have known.

Now, it didn’t matter. The house was nothing if he couldn’t share it with someone he loved, the way his parents had. If he couldn’t share it with Betsy.

…

Betsy held the phone in her hand as she sat on her couch. There was no reason she should be surprised by the phone call she just got—that a large check for her mother’s care for the year had been paid—but she was.

Oh, Jace.

She hadn’t felt like she deserved it because she didn’t follow through, but it was a nice thing for him to do. Dear, sweet, big-hearted Jace. There was no one in the world like him.

Her chest ached. Betsy dropped the phone to the floor and finally let her tears come. Tears because she loved him. So very much and she wanted nothing more than to be lucky enough to call him hers.

Because for the first time, she wanted to prove to her mom that there
were
wonderful men out there. That she could really be loved and that she was good enough to meet the kind of man who wouldn’t hurt her.

But she couldn’t have any of it. He hadn’t wanted her to stay and she hadn’t been fair to him, either.

Her phone rang and despite her tears, she struggled to pick it up. Betsy hoped and prayed it was him. But the caller ID said Rowan. The urge to drop the phone again hit her. Her friend had better things to do than listen to Betsy mope over Jace. It wasn’t Rowan’s responsibility.

But…she was her friend, wasn’t she? For the first time in her life she had real friends. It was that thought that made her push the talk button.

Rowan didn’t give her time to speak before she started talking. “Shamrock Falls rumor mill says your car has been parked at your apartment since yesterday. You still have your apartment, Betsy?”

“I—”

“Don’t even think about it. Sidney and I will be there in two minutes. I’m grumpy and pregnant and you don’t want to get on my bad side today. We’re coming and we want the truth.”

The line went dead and all Betsy could do was stare at it. And then she smiled. She really did have friends. Good friends who would be there for her even if she tried to push them away.

It felt amazing.

A knock sounded on her door a minute later. She opened it and both her friends came inside. Sidney hugged her first. “Oh, sweetie. You’ve been crying. What did Jace do? We’ll kick his butt for hurting you.”

This made her start to cry again. Rowan hugged her next and over her shoulder, Betsy said, “It wasn’t his fault. I know Jace would never want to hurt me. Everything is just so messed up.”

The three women sat on her couch, Betsy in the middle. Before she lost her nerve, she began to speak. She told them about her mom. About her paranoia. About how it had been growing up.

And then she told them about Jace. About how in the beginning it had been an innocent crush, a side effect of being close to a good-looking man for the first time. But the longer she knew him, how it grew to more. How she trusted him and talked to him and she thought maybe he might trust her, too. About how sweet Jace was to people when he thought no one was looking.

And then she told them about the marriage, resulting in a gasp from Rowan and a few curse words from Sidney.

Guilt tried to nudge its way in there, but somehow she had to believe Jace would be okay with her honesty. She needed to get this out and she trusted Rowan and Sidney with everything she had in her.

She went on to the date, that she’d fallen in love with him, and finished the story with the end of their relationship.

“I’m going to kill him!” Sidney tried to stand, but Betsy pulled her down again.

“Don’t. It’s not his fault. I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted that money and I went into it with my eyes completely open. If you blame anyone, blame me, because I always had feelings for him, and I wanted to be his wife, even if I knew it wouldn’t last. If anything…I’m the one who used him.” Betsy’s eyes shot to the ground.