Just Once More (10 page)

“Nah, don’t apologize,” Nate said. “I’m loving thinking that I’ve got you distracted. You just keep thinking about me.”

“A little rude, though,” Ally said. “Sorry. Hannah’s work. Ahem. No, I hardly know anything about that. Because Kiwis never talk about their work during social time, I found that out pretty fast, and you’ve obviously picked right up on that, Hannah.”

“Yeh, well,” Reka said, as aware of the undercurrents as Hannah was, Hannah could tell, and making it clear where her own loyalties lay, “the maternity and kids’ wear that 2
^nd
Hemisphere’s doing now, those were Hannah’s lines. The ones she started for them, her ideas. Of course they jumped at it, because she has the perfect platform for it. They’d have been fools not to. And being the marketing brain she is, didn’t take her a minute to think of getting all us WAGs to do some modeling. Which we’re not obligated to do,” she said pointedly for Hannah’s benefit, “but which, astonishingly, we all do anyway. Nothing serious, just a day in the studio with the kids, a video for the website. Everybody loves an All Black, and they even love an All Black’s kids. May not want to know that an All Black has a partner, of course, but I don’t mind reminding them, especially as it doesn’t hurt the team either. Glam up, get the full makeup on, look like an actual WAG for a day. Not to mention remind the female population that these fellas do have partners and kids, just in case that slips their minds. I don’t mind doing that, either. I don’t mind doing that at all.”

Hemi laughed. “Maybe you want to make your point a little clearer, sweetheart. Somebody down in Hawkes Bay may not have got it. I think you were a bit…what was that thing Hugh wasn’t? Oh, yeh. Subtle.”

“Just as long as you got it,” she said.

“Oh, I got it,” he assured her. “No worries. I got it a long time ago.”

“Why anybody’d want to see the softer side of sportsmen at all,” Finn put in, “still baffles me, but they seem to all the same. The mums seem to, at least, and the mums are the ones buying the clothes, and it helps Hannah and Emma, so…” He shrugged. “It’s all good, far as I’m concerned. Jenna always looks pretty. And Sophie likes it all right.
Harry, now…he’s not too keen. But he does it anyway, every time, when Jenna asks him. A man will do just about any mad thing for the woman he loves, eh.”

“So that’s it,” Hannah told Ally. “That’s my other baby, my product lines. They’re my ideas, and I love them. And I don’t want to just be a name on them. I mean, I want to be able to put
my
name on them,
my
stamp, not just…Drew’s name. I want to know that I’m still involved with them, still directing the strategic planning, at least, even though people like Emma are the ones doing the real work, designing the clothes, and others are doing the day-to-day marketing stuff I can’t manage anymore. But I need to know for myself, at least, that it’s real.”

Ally nodded. “Sounds completely reasonable to me.”

“It should,” Nate said. “Seeing as Ally’s got plans to open a gym of her own pretty soon, and I already know Mako and I are going to be putting in some pretty frequent appearances.”

“Nate,” Ally protested. “I can volunteer
you
. I can assume
you
. I may have to actually
ask
Liam. You don’t just get to tell him.”

“Nah,” Liam said with a grin. “When the skipper asks, it’s not a request. That’s how it works. Thinking you may be able to get a pretty good turnout for your grand opening, Ally. And not just from the Hurricanes.”

“We’ll all come,” Kate promised. “When is it?”

“Getting way ahead of myself,” Ally said, holding up a protesting hand and laughing, but looking so pleased. “I just got my diploma. I mean, just last
week.”

“And she’s got a whole plan already,” Nate said proudly. “Going to happen soon enough. Good investment, eh. I tried to invest in my brother’s feed business, got told off in no uncertain terms. Good thing I saved my money, because feed and grain, or girls in climbing harnesses?” He sighed with satisfaction. “One of my favorite things to look at, and Ally’s got all kinds of plans to attract women to the gym. I can see my presence is going to be required early and often. Observation, supervision, that’ll be me.”

“Oh, yeah, buddy,” Ally told him. “You try it. You just try it. More than one thing climbing rope’s good for. And two can play this game. I seem to remember a man or two I’ve enjoyed seeing in a harness myself.”

Everyone was laughing now. “She’s got your number, mate,” Koti grinned. “Got one of those fierce ones myself. You’re toast.”

“I know it,” Nate sighed. “Succumbed to the inevitable quite a while ago. No escape once that thunderbolt hits you, try as you might. And I tried. Tried so hard I almost succeeded, and wasn’t that a bloody nightmare. Not making that mistake again.”

Everyone got quiet for a bit at that, because they all remembered. It hadn’t been possible to miss.

“We all stuff up,” Liam said, his voice quiet in the dusk that had fallen softly over the garden as they’d sat and talked.

Hannah reached for the matches, but Drew put a restraining hand on hers, got up and walked around lighting citronella candles to keep the mozzies at bay.

The soft glow lit the faces around the tables as Liam continued. “We all make mistakes,” he said. “The difference is what happens next.”

“When the people you love suffer for your mistakes, though,” Nate said, and there was no humor at all in his voice now, “that’s the killer, eh.”

“You’re not the only one who knows about that either,” Liam said.

“Not the only one at all.” The rasp of Finn’s voice now, through the gloom. “Just about every man at this table could tell a tale. Mako’s right. Luckily, women have forgiving natures.”

“But long memories,” Reka said, breaking the somber mood and making everyone laugh. “She’ll forgive you, but she’ll remind you. That’s the price.”

“Too true,” Hemi sighed. “But ah, well. It’s worth it.”

“Pretty clear that Toro’s well and truly taken over that captaincy now,” Drew said with a grin down the table at his replacement, seeing the familiar intensity changed to something else now, something looser. Calmer. Nate was beginning to relax a bit in the job, it was clear, at the end of his second season. Finding out that it was possible to have a laugh with his teammates, past and present, and still be the skipper.

Only Drew, of all the men here, fully understood the burden Toro was finally able to lay down. That niggling worry that the selectors had made a mistake, that he wouldn’t be up to the job. The dark fear that came at two in the morning, that you couldn’t share with anyone.

Although he suspected Toro might be able to share it with Ally. Koti was right, she clearly did have his number. And that support, even if it were unspoken…that mattered. Knowing you had somebody in your corner, win or lose.

It was obvious to Drew, at least, that the selectors hadn’t made a mistake. In fact, his opinion had been asked, and he’d given it. Never the biggest player, Toro, but nobody was speedier, or had faster reflexes. He had the quality of every world-class halfback, and had it in spades: the ability to read the game, to change on the fly, to communicate what you saw to the backs, to spur the attack.

A ferocious tackler, too, with heart and courage to burn. Most nines had to be taken off partway through the match, couldn’t sustain the pace for the full eighty minutes. Not Toro. He played smart as well as hard, and then there was that x factor. The driving will to win, to excel, to push his performance higher that inspired everyone around him. Which was why he was the skipper.

No matter that the sting was still there when Drew looked at the captain—no longer even the
new
captain—and knew that that was what he was. The captain. The skipper. No matter that Drew might still wish it were him. Wishes weren’t horses, and nothing stayed the same. Life rolled on, and a man had to roll with it, and his own life was good. It had been good before, and now it was better.

“You’ve moved me straight off my course, mate,” he told the other man now. “Getting Hannah more help, remember?”

“All right,” Reka said promptly. “Tell us what to say, and we’ll say it.”

“Little kids,” Drew reminded her. “New baby. Job. That it’s important to keep up with it, and that she needs more help to do it. Not to mention that I need her too. Can’t have her being too tired even to talk to me when I come home. Selfish, eh.”

“Right,” Reka said. “All that. You need more help to do it, Hannah.”

“I could’ve done that,” Drew complained. “Come on. Bring something new to the table here. I’m counting on you girls.”

“I’ll try,” Jenna said. “I’m pregnant too, but not as pregnant as Hannah. And I’ve got a little one too, but not as little as Hannah’s. And I’m
not
trying to stay involved professionally right now. So I’m pretty well qualified to talk. I need help. I can’t do it by myself. Or I could, but I’d be exhausted. I’m fairly domestic, too—”

“Yeh,” Finn said. “Fairly.”

She smiled and continued. “But even I know that kids aren’t little forever. And whatever Finn thinks, I don’t actually want six. Eventually, you run out of babies. And at some point, when the…the hormones settle down, I guess, it’s good to have something of your own, but that something’s got to be there for you to do. I’m a teacher, and so is Reka. We can go back to that later if we want to, once our kids are older. It’s not a hard thing to jump into again. But other careers are harder to do that with. Better to have continuity, I’m sure.”

“Money of your own doesn’t come amiss either,” Kate said bluntly. “Let’s be honest. A little power outside the relationship. And let’s face it, inside the relationship too.”

“Wow. Yep,” Ally said. “That’s it. I
knew
we needed to come to this party.”

“We
are
getting down to it tonight, eh,” Nate said. He truly had got comfortable. Talking at Drew’s table, and that was good, because there were some divided loyalties here still, and that needed to be put right. This was the perfect opportunity.

“I don’t think it’s as important for us,” Nate went on, “as it is for you girls. That power thing, I mean. We know you have power, job or no, money or no.” He got some nods of assent over that. “We’re all clear on that one.”

“Not easy being the parent when you’re doing it alone half the time,” Finn said. “Or just being on your own half the time. Pretty sure all of us appreciate that.”

“But still,” Kate insisted. “Still. I need something that’s…mine. Mine to do.”

“Which brings us back to the point, doesn’t it,” Drew said. “Which is that if you’re going to do that, do a job of work outside of home, or even
at
home, and you’ve got kids, you can’t do it without help.”

“I’ve got help,” Hannah said.

“More
help. You don’t have a mum to live with you, or next to you, or whatever it is that some of them have. Which means you need something else. Nobody’s going to think less of you for it, at least nobody who counts. No extra bonus points for scrubbing your own toilets, and who cares if somebody else cooks dinner, long as it gets cooked? I always had somebody to cook my own dinner, do my washing-up
and
my washing, for that matter, before I met you. And scrub my toilets as well. Nobody ever asked me if I was a good enough man because I did. Let alone a good enough dad. Never had to justify it at all. If it helps you work better, and you can afford it, why the hell not? Giving somebody who needs it a job, so you can do your own job. What’s wrong with that?”

“Good one, mate,” Hemi said quietly.

“Yeh, thanks,” he said. “Been thinking about that one.”

“Yeah,” Kate said, sounding a little belligerent. “Why is that? How come nobody ever asks you guys how you’re juggling parenting and rugby? And yet Hannah got asked, you bet she did, in that last totally softball interview. Suddenly, there it is, every time.” Her hand hit the table. “Bang. ‘How do you manage it all? I’m sure our viewers would love to know.’ I never,
ever
saw a post-match interview with you, Drew, where they said, ‘So how are you managing to fit in your travel schedule with your family responsibilities, Drew?’ Why is that?”

“No idea,” he said, a bit taken aback, but that was Kate. “That’s what I’m saying. Not fair, and not the way I see it.”

“Look what you’ve stumbled into, Nate,” Reka told him. “You may want to take Ally and run right now.”

“Nah,” he said. “She’s already there, no worries. In fact, probably a relief to her.”

“It is,” she confessed. “I thought I’d have to be some…rugby wife, or something. Whatever that is. I didn’t have a clue, other than knowing Kristen. And seeing Hannah some, but Hannah’s pretty intimidating.”

“I am not,” she said.

“You are,” Kristen said. “You totally are.”

“But I’m…” She struggled with it, and Drew smiled a little, because he knew what they meant, even though he saw the real woman beneath. “I’m nice.”

Everyone laughed at that. “And that’s worse,” Kristen said. “How you’ve got it all down. That’s what Ally’s saying. How hard you are to live up to. Just like that show said. How you do all that, and make it look so easy.”