Authors: Amelia Whitmore
He grins and stares off into space, reminiscing. “Well, mine
didn’t start off with an ex-girlfriend. I was a plain idiot. Evie was reading
this magazine and when she showed me a picture and asked me if I thought this
one model was pretty, I shrugged and nodded my head. It was like a bomb
exploded and suddenly I apparently didn’t think Evie was good enough for me and
I thought she was fat because she didn’t look like the supermodel in the
magazine. I didn’t even know what the hell to do. One second we’re cuddling in
bed and the next she’s kicking my ass for something I didn’t even say.
“Long story short, she ended up freezing me out completely.
She didn’t even bother breaking up with me. She’d avoid me like the plague any
time she saw me. Then, one day, I’d finally had it. I went to her house and
literally slept out on her front porch. Her father, who still hates me, as you
well know, threatened to call the cops on me if I didn’t leave. Evie ended up
coming down and saying all these Spanish words to him to get him back inside.
Then she finally sat with me and we talked it through. She finally realized
that if I was willing to go to jail to get her to talk to me, I must not find
her as disgusting as she assumed.” He shakes his head with a goofy smile. “God,
she’s crazy.”
“So I should go sleep out on her porch? It’s the middle of
February,” I say skeptically, frowning as I look outside.
Landon shrugs and gives me a sympathetic look. “How much
does she mean to you, bro?"
Sobs rack my body as I lean against my door crying. I can’t
believe I actually just did that. Am I crazy? Brayden is the best person in the
entire world and I just broke up with him. For no reason. The look on his face
when I did it nearly broke my heart, but I did it for him. So he wouldn’t have
to be on this roller-coaster anymore. I hate that he’s always needing to fix me
in some way. I definitely don’t make life easier for him.
I walk over to my bed and, like a whiny thirteen-year-old,
throw myself down and cry into my pillow. What will my life be like without him
in it? I feel like I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life and the only
thing stopping me from chasing after him to apologize is the fact that he’ll be
so much happier when he’s able to get a normal girlfriend. One that can make
him happy without being insane. Somebody he deserves. That person isn’t me.
He’s always working so hard to make me happy. Take yesterday for example; he
brought me those special gifts at work. I never do things like that for him.
A soft knock sounds at the door and I remain silent, freezing
a little as though any movement on my part will be detected through the closed
door. “Annie, can I come in?” Mom asks softly.
I sigh and wipe some of my tears before rolling onto my
side, facing the door. “Yeah,” I call out.
The door cracks open and Mom’s face appears before me. “Oh, Honey,”
she sighs, entering my room and moving to sit beside me. I’ve never been the
type of girl to need her mother while upset, but I can’t stop myself from
placing my head on her lap and crying harder. She softly strokes my hair away
from my face. “It’ll be okay,” she tells me.
“No, no it won’t! I l-love him so mu-much,” I exclaim,
stuttering slightly as my body takes in random gasps of breath.
“I know you love him, Sweetie,” she whispers, comforting me.
Just months ago, she probably wouldn’t have even bothered coming upstairs and
now she’s holding me as I cry. I can’t believe what a difference finally
standing up for myself has made. Tears fall harder when I realize that it’s
because of Brayden that we’re sitting like this. Because he gave me the courage
to bridge the gap that was in my relationship with my family members.
I don’t know who called Ro, but by the end of the hour,
she’s at my side in place of my mom. “Oh, Annie,” she coos, wrapping her arms
around me.
“I had to do it, Ro. I had to so he could be happy,” I cry.
She nods. “I know, Babe, I know.”
But she doesn’t. I feel like people tell me they know and
they don’t. They don’t know how easy it was for Candi to knock me back to where
I started. They don’t know how much I hate myself for being so jealous of her.
How I immediately started comparing my curves to her stick thin figure. She’s
the type of girl Brayden used to date. How did he go from the runway model to
the frumpy cow?
Once the tears are done falling and I’m only sniffling, I
turn pathetically to Ro. “How’d you know?” I ask.
“Brayden called ’Los and I was with him. I left right away,
only stopping for some ice cream. Speaking of which, it’s melting at the foot
of your bed right now.” With that, she lunges down and swoops up a pint of
Dreyer’s mint chocolate chip.
“Aww, you do love me,” I say, sending her a wobbly grin as I
hold my hands out. She gives me the ice cream while she goes digging in her
purse for spoons. Every time we go out to eat somewhere, she swipes the plastic
silverware and hoards it in her purse. Luckily, they’re usually kept in plastic
to stay clean.
While we eat, with
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
playing in the background, I tell her everything that happened. Her jaw drops
in shock when I tell her about Candi. “She was literally all up on him?”
I nod. “Yeah, and that’s where I kind of blanked out. I was
in a weird trance until Brayden pulled me out of the building. I spent all
night thinking about it and I just kept coming back to how much easier it would
be for him if we broke up, you know?”
She nods, but I can see that there’s something she wants to
say. “What is it?” I ask.
Ro sighs softly. “It’s just that . . . maybe
this wasn’t a good idea. I’m not saying that I don’t understand or that you
don’t have a right to be upset, because I see how you do. I just . . . It’s
not Brayden’s fault that his ex was up in his business. He clearly tried to
push her away and tried talking to you after. I know that it’s easier, but
maybe easier isn’t better.” She registers my clearly unhappy face and sends me
an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but you’ve been so much happier in the past
few months. I’d hate to see the new you go away.”
“I just don’t know what I want. And now I can’t go up to him
and be like ‘Oh, you remember when I broke up with you? Just kidding!’ It can’t
work like that. He deserves somebody who won’t be breaking his heart all the
time,” I explain.
“Yes, in this one instance, you’d be playing unfair by
asking him to take you back. It’s not nice to do that to a person, but he
understands you better than I think you realize. I mean, what nearly
twenty-one-year-old guy willingly takes on a virgin girlfriend who’s super
insecure? He clearly loves you past your flaws.”
“You’re just confusing me now,” I complain.
She shrugs. “I’m just trying to help you think things
through.”
I nod. “I know you are. I appreciate it.”
***
Days go by without Brayden and I feel like any energy I once
had has gone, never to be seen again. I miss him so much it physically hurts.
I’ve got aches and pains that I normally wouldn’t have. I pick up the phone all
the time to call or text him but then I remember that I ruined our relationship
and put my phone back down. Heartbroken all over again. He’s been calling every
day and texting even more. I can’t answer, though I wonder what he’s doing. I
wonder how he’s doing. It just feels so wrong not to know. I’ve never gone
through a breakup before, but if they’re all like this, I never intend to date
anybody ever again.
I walk through my front door after a long day of school and
work. “I’m home!” I call out, dropping my bag by the steps as I walk toward the
kitchen.
“Dinner smells goo—” I stop short, seeing a pair of eyes
that I definitely didn’t expect to find at my dinner table. “What are you doing
here?” I ask, shocked.
“Honey,” Mom begins, “Brayden’s going to be staying here for
a couple of days.”
“Why?” My heart rate is picking up speed as I digest the
information.
“To win you back,” Brayden tells me triumphantly.
“What?” I ask, breathless.
“Your parents are letting me stay here until you finally get
this breakup thing out of your mind. I explained them what happened and they
agree with me.,” he says, scooping a large helping of noodles into his mouth.
I shake my head. “It’s not something I can just get out of
my mind. It’s done.”
“No,” he says simply.
“Brayden!” I say, annoyed.
“What?” he asks, looking at me with a curious look. It’s the
same look I give to Zander when he’s telling me something I need to fake
interest in.
I slouch down in my chair like a two-year-old and stare at
my plate. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going upstairs to study,” I murmur
before walking away.
Half an hour later there’s a knock at my door. Standing, I
walk over to answer it. I’m not really surprised to find Brayden standing in
front of me, leaning on the half wall that lets you gaze over and see
downstairs. “What?” I ask, not sounding very friendly.
“Whatcha doing, Cutie?” he asks with innocent eyes.
I glare at him. “Nothing.”
“Really?” he asks, peering behind me to see my books. “Looks
like you’re doing homework. Need any help with that?”
I shake my head, irritated. “No, I don’t. Especially not
from you!” I sound like a petulant child and it only gets worse when Brayden
starts giving me the grin that made me fall in love with him in the first
place. The one that means he thinks I’m being adorable. “I know that I don’t
really have any experience with it, but this isn’t how a breakup works,
Brayden. We broke up.”
“Actually, you broke up with me. It’s a little different,” he
clarifies.
I send him a small glare before closing the door on his
face. I can’t believe my parents agreed to this madness.
It’s a restless night as I toss and turn, wondering what
Brayden’s doing right now. He ended up rooming with Matt, so I’m sure there was
a snoring contest going on all night. In the morning I wake up for a shower and
open my door to see Brayden walking out of the bathroom. He’s glistening and
only has a towel around his waist. “Oh god,” I groan, physically unable to take
my eyes off his body as he slowly walks over to me.
“What’s the matter, Baby?” he asks, his voice deep and as
smooth as butter. Jesus, he’s trying to seduce me! It’s working. I swallow and
lick my lips before shaking my head. “Nothing much. You?” My voice sounds tight
and slightly high pitched and I don’t even realize that my response doesn’t
make sense.
A sexy grin crosses his lips as he steps even closer,
standing between my legs and pressing me against the half wall. “Are you sure
nothing’s up?” he asks seductively, his lips a whisper against my neck.
I gulp and shudder when he starts nibbling on my collarbone,
his hands gripping my hips to keep me from moving. He moves to the other side
and I blink a couple of times, remembering that we were talking. “W-what?” I
ask, confused.
He chuckles and slowly starts moving his hands up my body
before trailing them back down again. “I asked if something was wrong,” he
repeats.
“No, nothing,” I gasp, squeezing my eyes closed.
“Are you sure? Because the last time I checked we weren’t
together anymore.” As he says “together,” his teeth nip at my earlobe. “And
that seems wrong to me . . .”
“Brayden,” I can’t help but whimper. It’s like my body
doesn’t belong to me.
“What, Baby girl?” he whispers, his breath fanning across my
cheek and giving me goosebumps.
“Don’t make me say it,” I beg. He knows what I mean and he
knows what I want.
“Say what?” he asks knowingly, one hand going higher and
pushing against my breast. Since I just woke up, I’m still in my pajamas and
without a bra. He must have known that.
I sigh reluctantly and push my breast toward his hungry
touches, wrapping my arms around his neck. “That I’m an idiot. I need you and
you know I do. Please, I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling embarrassed that I put us
through all of this only to cave under my raging hormones.
“Do you mean it?” he asks me more seriously, though my body
is still melting into his hands.
I squeeze my eyes shut to focus before pulling his hands
from my body and holding them in mine. When I open my eyes, I stare into his.
“I love you, and I’m so sorry. I’ve been miserable without you and I thought I
was doing it for you but lately I’ve been realizing that it’s not for you, it
was for me. But I don’t want to be without you. I’m dumb and I love you.”
He groans and yanks me against his body as he smashes his
lips down on mine. I press myself against him, needing to feel him. “I’m so
sorry,” I whisper against his lips.
“Shh,” he whispers back, slipping his hands under my shirt
and moving so I walk backward into my room. He pauses a moment to kick the door
closed and to lock it.
“I really am, though,” I say, lifting my arms as he peels
off my shirt.
“Anna, I forgive you. If I thought this breakup was real, I
wouldn’t be here.” He moans as I move my nails up and down the front of his
chest.
I pause. “If you didn’t think it was real, what took you so
long to burst in here?” I ask, looking up into his eyes.
He cups my cheek and places a soft kiss on my nose, “You
needed time to think. I did too. I can live without you, Annie, but I don’t
want to,” he whispers, resting his forehead against mine.
“Good,” I sigh, “because I need you in my life. I can’t say
I’ll be any different than before, but I promise I’ll never break up with you
again.”
After that, we abandon words and devour each other.
“Hi, sweet girl,” I coo at the little baby girl in my arms
as she wakes up from the too-short nap she’d just taken. She opens her blue eyes
and I smile as I look into them. She got them from me. Well, my side of the
family, anyway. Her hair is all her daddy’s, though. Dark brown and getting
thicker by the day.