Just Stay (29 page)

He kisses him again, and Evan relaxes against him, putting his hands on his waist to pull him closer.

“I love
you,
” Seb says, pulling away from Evan’s lips for a moment. “Thank you.”

Evan smiles against his mouth, a small chuckle emerging from his throat.

“You’re welcome,” he says, and Seb kisses him again. He closes his eyes, and for several, long seconds, they just stand there, in the hallway between the bedroom and the living room, in each other’s arms, kissing as though they don’t have a care in the world.

They kind of do, though―the mess the party has left isn’t going to clean up itself.

There isn’t much of a mess, sure, but there are bottles and pizza boxes all over the place, and Seb picks up a plastic bag and starts cleaning up, in lack of anything else. Evan objects, of course, pointing out that it's Seb's birthday, after all.

“I am
not
cleaning this up tomorrow,” Seb protests. “Not when I’m all tired and hungover.”

“Still, though,” Evan says, but Seb doesn’t listen. Instead, he keeps cleaning up, and eventually, Evan just helps him out, instead of wasting his breath trying to convince him not to.

There is still music playing, slow and mellow, and Seb feels happily tired and still slightly intoxicated. It's a nice feeling, one that makes him feel all warm and soft inside, and he honestly doesn’t mind cleaning up, at the moment. It's past two a.m., though, and he would probably like to go to bed, soon, the dimmed lights of the room making him drowsy.

It's after a little while, while gathering up the last of the trash in the living room, that Evan clears his throat, and Seb looks up. Evan is holding out his hand to him, a few feet away, garbage bag discarded on the floor nearby. Seb frowns, nodding toward the plastic bag in his hand, but Evan just cocks is head as though saying
leave it.
So Seb slowly puts the bag down and makes his way across to Evan, who is standing pretty much in the middle of the room.

When Seb reaches him, he unceremoniously takes his hand and pulls him to him, steering Seb's hands and placing them against his own waist. And then, slowly, he starts moving, rotating very slowly on the spot.

It takes Seb a moment to realize what's happening.

"Are we slow dancing?" he says, frowning the slightest bit.

"Yeah," Evan says simply, sliding his hands down Seb's waist and settling them somewhere by his lower back. "What about it?"

Seb cocks his head a bit.

"Nothing," he says. "It's just, we haven't really slow danced before."

"Well," Evan says. "There's a first time for everything."

"Yeah, but―"

"Seb," Evan interrupts softly, and Seb looks up at him. Their eyes meet. "It's your birthday. Just let me spoil you a bit, okay?"

Seb just looks at him, before a small smile shapes his lips.

"This is you spoiling me?" he says, a bit teasingly, and Evan glances away almost in an eye-roll, as though a bit self-conscious.

"Well, sorry it's not more impressive," he grumbles, and Seb chuckles quietly.

"No, I'm sorry," he says. The gift alone was more than enough, when it comes to spoiling him. "That's not what I meant."

Evan looks back at him slowly, almost suspiciously, and Seb grips his hands on his waist a bit tighter. Evan is taller than him, but not by more than two inches or so, and Seb barely has to look up to keep eye-contact.

"I'm just not used to it," he explains softly, vaguely aware of how they keep moving slowly with the music. So slowly, on the spot. "I'm still not used to
you
. Just the way you look at me..."

He trails off, glancing down. It's true; even after so many months, he still isn't
quite
used to how Evan looks at him like he's precious, valuable, wanted and loved. He has never been looked at like that before, not like this. And it still feels surreal, at times, to think that someone else actually sees him that way, that someone has
chosen
him, like Evan has. Like he has chosen Evan.

Seb looks up at Evan again, those green eyes soft.

"This is the best birthday ever," he says. "It's perfect."

He plants a soft kiss on Evan's lips.

"And you can spoil me all you want."

Evan smiles then, a smile that Seb returns, before he leans in and kisses Seb properly, a slow kiss that makes Seb close his eyes and exhale softly through his nose. Evan pulls away a bit then and leans their foreheads together. He makes a small, humming sound.

"I might twirl you," he says, and Seb groans, a sound that quickly turns into a soft chuckle.

"Please, don't," he says, smiling, eyes still closed, and Evan laughs.

"Wow, you take the fun out of everything."

"Well, it's
my
birthday, isn't it?" Seb moves his hands up along Evan's back, so that they end up, fingers slightly splayed, over his shoulder blades, elbows tucked against Evan's waist, underneath his arms. It presses the two of them closer together, chest to chest. "And there will be no twirling."

Evan emits a soft grunt and plants a kiss on Seb's forehead.

"Fair enough," he says, and Seb leans his head against his shoulder, nuzzling his neck. Evan kisses his hair then, pulling him closer against him, hands secure against the small of his back. And when he softly starts humming along with the song playing, Seb smiles against his neck, eyes still closed.

Best birthday ever.

Chapter 19

Distance

Evan is actually a pretty good cook. You never would have thought it, looking at him, and even Seb doubted it, at first. That is, until Evan actually cooked for him for the first time.

Given that they both lived in dorms before, with shared kitchens, they have never really had the opportunity to cook a nice, proper dinner. Not that Seb really minded; he's more the ramen and microwave-pizzas type of guy, anyway.

Evan minded, though, because apparently, he loves to cook, and is pretty good at it. He explained to Seb that this is most likely due to the fact that he had to do pretty much all of the cooking when he and Jake were kids, and he has taken quite a liking to it, over the years.

Seb still doubted Evan's claimed excellence in the kitchen, but was proven wrong during the first week or so they spent in their new apartment. Evan treated him to a nice, three-course dinner, and it left Seb both surprised and impressed. Not to mention very satisfied―although, he remembers some of that satisfaction taking place after dessert, in the bedroom.

So, seeing as how the two of them have been living together for months, now―and after being together for even longer, still―good food is something Seb has gotten quite used to. Evan has even tried to teach him a few tricks, along the way, almost always ending up with Seb backing away from the stove, swearing loudly, while Evan laughs and pulls him into a kiss, which Seb will pointlessly and grumpily try to fight off, before giving in and forgetting all about what Evan was just trying to teach him.

Tonight is just like any other night, and it's already dark outside the kitchen window, as they clean up after dinner. Seb doesn't like this part; it's all cleaning and dishes and wiping down surfaces, and he find it boring and monotonous. The only good part is doing it together with Evan, who always seems so calm and at peace after cooking and enjoying a nice meal. Sometimes, he'll still comment about how happy he is they have a proper kitchen, and Seb will smile, glad at the way Evan's face lights up as he talks about it.

Evan is busy doing the dishes, and Seb has just finished wiping down the table and the counter. He puts down the dishrag with a sigh and turns to look at Evan; his gaze is on his hands, cleaning and rinsing plates, his face relaxed and a bit tired, the freckles on his skin highlighted by the lamplight from above the counter. Seb just stares at him for a few seconds. He will never quite get over how
beautiful
Evan is.

Seb pauses for another moment, before moving closer to Evan and planting a soft kiss against his temple. He can feel Evan smiling, then, those crinkles around his eyes creasing.

"You're in a good mood," he says, sounding almost jokingly suspicious, and Seb frowns indignantly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he says, kissing Evan again, on his cheekbone, this time. "Can't really find anything to complain about, right now."

Evan chuckles, not looking up from the dishes, rinsing and placing plates on the dish rack. He visibly reacts, though, softening his posture, when Seb softly skims his fingers along the hem of his jeans. It's something Seb does automatically, just one of the ways the two of them will casually touch each other, whenever they get the chance. Almost as though they occasionally need to remind each other, and themselves, that the other is still there, still real.

"Sometimes, I almost forget how worth it this is," Evan murmurs, and Seb frowns.

"What do you mean?" he asks, and Evan quirks a cocky smile.

"You always get like this," he explains."I cook some nice food, and suddenly you're just the sweetest boyfriend in the world."

Seb snorts.

"I'm not
that
easy," he objects, but Evan just smiles.

"Sure you are," he said, jokingly patronizing. "You just need a treat. Like a puppy."

Seb raises his eyebrows.

"A puppy?"

"Yeah," Evan says, smiling teasingly toward the dishes. "It's cute."

Seb cocks his head.

"Sure," he admits. "But it kind of stops being cute, as soon as you remember that you also fuck me, once in a while."

He plants a slow kiss against Evan's throat, feeling him shiver under his lips.

"Then it's just creepy."

Evan groans.

"Just let me have this one," he says. "Like, just one metaphor. Even a shitty one."

Seb chuckles against his skin, hands sliding around Evan's waist and locking together on the other side. Seb is standing next to him, his body angled so that his chest presses against Evan's shoulder.

"Fine," he murmurs, nuzzling the skin below Evan's ear slightly with his nose. "Your cooking really is amazing, though."

He exhales.

"We should invite our families over for a big dinner party, sometime."

He means it as a joke; just the idea of dinner parties is something that makes him laugh and cringe, at the same time, and Evan knows that. But Evan still tenses up a bit, and Seb frowns, while Evan replies.

"Sometime, maybe," he says unenthusiastically, eyes on the dishes. "When hell freezes over, or something."

Seb gets that Evan is joking, and that he has pretty much the same attitude towards dinner parties as Seb does, anyway. But for some reason, he stiffens, automatically thinking about something else, as he hears it.

Seb just looks at Evan, watches his profile in the light of the lamp above the counter.

"This shouldn't have to be such a big deal, you know," he finally says, to his own surprise. He really isn't in a confrontational mood right now, but he can't help it.

Evan glances at him. Seb immediately knows that Evan knows what he's referring to―this is far from the first time they have talked about that particular subject. Evan's father still does come up every now and then.

"Well, it is," Evan replies, the sudden tension in his voice saying that he wants to drop the subject. But Seb isn't giving in.

"Not if you do something about it," he says, and Evan lets out a short, slightly irritated breath, and Seb slowly loosens his arms around his body, pulling them away entirely.

"And what am I supposed to do, Seb?" Evan asks, a tense question that sounds mostly rhetorical, and Seb cocks his head.

"Oh, I don't know," he says dryly. "Maybe tell him."

Evan looks at him then, frowning, his expression almost angry for a moment.

"You know I can't do that," he says tensely, and Seb resists the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes, you can," he says. "You just won't. You just haven't."

"In my own time," Evan retorts, that almost-anger in his eyes seeping into his voice, as he actually points at Seb. "
You
said that."

Seb sighs, trying not to sound too frustrated.

"I know what I said," he says. "And I meant it. But Evan..."

He pauses, shaking his head, a look of hurt mingling with the frustration.

"It's been almost a year."

Evan doesn't say anything. Instead, he just looks at him, gritting his teeth, jaw working. His gaze falls, as he places his hands against the edge of the counter, leaning against it. He knows Seb has a point, Seb is sure of it. They have talked about this before, after all. Not like this, sure, not with Seb practically forcing Evan to talk about it properly, actually demanding some action.

But it's enough, now. It has been almost a year since the two of them first met, and Evan
still
hasn't told his father about their relationship, and that's becoming increasingly difficult for Seb to accept.

Evan hasn't exactly been lying to his dad; there's no lying, if you barely even talk, in the first place. But Evan has spoken to his father a few times since Seb first met him, and none of the times has he so much as mentioned even being in a relationship. So fine, he hasn't been flat-out lying, and perhaps Seb shouldn't care so much about it.

But seeing as how Evan has actually met Seb's family by now and even gone with him to a wedding, and seeing as how Seb has become so close to Jake and Sophie that they're practically family, not to mention the fact that him and Evan are
living together
, hiding their relationship from his father just feels so stupid. And it's really starting to piss Seb off. He has been patient, he has been understanding. But Evan hiding him like this is really,
really
starting to hurt.

Neither of them says anything for a few moments, Evan still staring at the smooth surface of the kitchen counter. Seb sighs quietly.

"Evan―" he says, but Evan cuts him off.

"I know, Seb," he says, sounding subdued. "I know. And I'm sorry."

He looks up at him, managing to look so small and kind of scared, despite being both bigger and taller than Seb.