Just Stay (28 page)

Evan is pretty much a zombie at the moment, while Seb, on the other hand, has to leave in about half-an-hour, so he's already dressed. He still has time for breakfast, though, and he appreciates Evan getting up to keep him company, if nothing else.

"When are you getting home tonight?" Seb asks, as they both start digging into their food. Evan shrugs as he takes a sip of coffee, practically flinching at the hot temperature of the strong beverage.

"I get off at seven," he says. "So, there-ish."

Seb nods. Evan has gotten a part-time job at a pub on campus, one not too far from the bar where he performed once. Not too far from where he and Seb had their
first
date
, as Evan put it, as well as where they reconciled after their first big fight (and sort-of breakup).

The pub where he works is closer to the main school building, though, which means that there is a steady stream of students through there most of the time, and the pub needs a bigger staff, even during the day. Evan's shift doesn't start until two today, which sadly is about an hour before Seb's second lecture ends, so they won't see each other until tonight. This means that Evan has the morning off.

"What are you gonna do all day?" Seb asks. "You know, seeing as how the center of your universe won't be here."

Evan glares at him through sleepy, green eyes, as Seb takes a bite of toast.

"Probably just roll around on the floor," Evan retorts dryly. "Cry into a pillow. Maybe even vacuum."

Seb snorts.

"Now, that I'd like to see," he says, and Evan leans back in his chair.

"Oh, really?" he says, tilting his head. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Seb says innocently, taking another bite of toast. "You go ahead. Vacuum away."

Evan narrows his eyes at him.

"Maybe I will," he says, actually folding his arms, and Seb raises his eyebrows, as he swallows down his last bite of food.

"Alright," he says, smiling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Evan makes a grumbling noise that Seb finds oddly endearing, and he keeps smiling as he gets up from the table to put his plate and mug in the sink. Then he makes his way over to Evan, who is looking out through the kitchen window, arms still folded over his chest.

"You're adorable, you know that?" Seb says, leaning down and planting a kiss on Evan's temple. And Evan pulls away dramatically.

"I'm not adorable," he says defensively, in a way that Seb just knows not to take too seriously. "I'm a strong, angry man."

"Sure you are." Seb ruffles his hair. "And the best spooner ever."

Evan glares at him then, but Seb expertly backs away out of his reach, a mischievous smile on his face.

"Calm down, now," he says, backing out of the kitchen. "It's too early in the morning to get pissed off."

Evan keeps glaring at him.

"I hate you," he says, and Seb's smile widens as he leaves the kitchen.

"I know you do."

Seb goes into the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth, his dark, messy hair, as usual, being a lost cause, before snatching up his messenger bag and heading for the door. Then, he looks around for a sweater, before making his way back into the kitchen, where he finds one hanging over the back of a chair. Evan is still sitting at the table, and Seb tilts his head at him, picking up his dark teal hoodie from the chair.

"You still hate me?" he asks, and Evan looks up at him.

"Are you still a douche?" Evan responds, and Seb doesn't even flinch.

"Undoubtedly." He looks at Evan for a moment, before leaning down and kissing him on the mouth. It's a kiss that removes any doubt whatsoever about either of them ever actually hating the other, and Seb closes his eyes, savoring it. Then he pulls away again.

"Good luck with the vacuuming," he whispers, and Evan's expression becomes annoyed in the same way it was earlier. But Seb is quick, and jerks away, hoodie in his hand, before hurrying out of the kitchen.

"Okay, love you, bye!" he calls, as he rushes toward the apartment's front door. He catches a glimpse of a smile on Evan's face, one full of exasperated affection, before he leaves and closes the door behind him.

×

Chapter 18

Birthday

“What do you mean, you don’t want to celebrate?”

Seb sighs in slight exasperation, his back turned to Evan.

“It’s no big deal,” he says, digging a t-shirt out of the dresser. “Just drop it.”

“No big deal?” Evan sounds confused. “Seb, it’s your birthday.”

Seb rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says, pulling on the t-shirt he found. “And it’s no big deal.”

He closes the dresser drawer and turns around. Evan is sitting on the edge of their double bed, still in nothing but his boxers.

“So I get a year older,” Seb says, shrugging. “Who cares?”

Evan cocks his head.

“Well, I kind of do,” he says. “I mean, not that you get a year older. But I wanna celebrate your birthday. How is that weird?”

Seb just looks at him.

“I don’t generally celebrate my birthday,” he says. “At most, it’s a family thing, and mostly just involves a phone call and maybe a late cake with my parents.”

“Why?”

Seb glances away, before quirking a slightly bitter smile.

“Don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he says, “but I don’t exactly have many friends. And I never did.”

Evan looks oddly sad when Seb looks back at him, and he regrets saying anything at all.

“Look,” he says, moving closer to the bed. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’m just used to not making a big deal out of it. That’s all.”

Evan sighs.

“Well, maybe I wanna make a big deal out of it,” he says, looking up at Seb, as he comes to a halt in front of him. He takes his hand. “Can’t just let your birthday slide.”

“Yes, you can.” Seb squeezes his hand. “And what would we do, anyway?”

Evan shrugs.

“I don't know,” he says. “Party?”

Seb makes a face, and Evan chuckles.

“Not that kind of party,” he says, knowing that Seb is a bit apprehensive about the whole getting-shitfaced-and-puking-in-the-bushes-thing. And if nothing else, Evan has dialed back on that quite a bit, himself. He doesn’t drink nearly as much as he used to, and doesn’t find such parties, or getting drunk, nearly as entertaining as before.

Seb knows that a lot of that―the drinking, the sleeping around, the screwing up―was a coping mechanism for Evan, and that during the eight months or so now, since the two of them first met, he has become much more comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t really need all of that anymore.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t still get drunk or party once in a while; he has just taken it down about ten notches, which Seb is glad for. He still worries about Evan, sometimes, knowing how easy it is to just fall off the wagon again.

“Then what kind, exactly?” Seb says, and Evan makes a thinking noise.

“A small one,” he says. “Nothing too big.”

He smiles and tugs at Seb's hand, pulling him down so that he ends up straddling him, and he moves his hands to Seb's hips. He tilts his head slightly, looking at his face.

“I just want to do something,” he says, moving one hand up to Seb's face, pulling his fingers back through his dark, mussed hair. “You mean a lot to me. I want to celebrate that.”

Seb narrows his eyes.

“Will you stop bitching about it if I say yes?” he asks, tilting his head, mirroring Evan.

“I might,” Evan says, smiling. “But only if you want it.”

Seb sighs heavily, thinking, as he places his arms around Evan’s neck.

“Fine,” he says, giving in. “Alright.”

He leans in and kisses Evan softly on the mouth.

“But nothing big,” he clarifies, and Evan nods.

“Promise.”

♦

Evan keeps his promise.

By the time Seb's twenty-second birthday rolls around, a few days later, they do indeed have a party. It's at their place, in their apartment (Seb still loves the sound of that), and only fifteen people or so have been invited. Among them are Jake and Sophie, and Clara, as well as Matt, a guy Evan knows from one of his courses. Matt brought his girlfriend, Em, along too, but that's about as far they go with drawing the line between friends and people they don’t know well enough to invite―most people there are friends of Evan’s, or Jake's. Persuading Seb to have a party at all seems to have been a big enough victory for Evan, for him not to push it.

Seb finds himself liking this, though. Since he met Evan, he has slowly started becoming a bit more social, having a slightly easier time with meeting new people, and he's actually enjoying himself.

It isn’t much; there's mostly just hanging out, drinking, having fun, and there is even gift-opening. Seb dreaded that. He actually asked people
not
to bring gifts, because it makes him feel so awkward, but Jake and Sophie did, anyway.

“You really didn’t have to do that,” Seb says, a bit awkwardly, as he unwraps the headphones they got him. It isn’t that he minds. The headphones are great, and the exact ones he planned on getting, himself, actually―he suspects that Evan had something to do with that. But he has always been a bit awkward about accepting gifts, and especially in such a social setting, so he kind of avoids anyone’s gaze.

“Yes, we did,” Sophie insists, smiling rather smugly. “You were whining about your old ones glitching, just last week.”

Seb looks up at her with a glare, but she just smiles wider. She's right, of course. His trusted headphones have been glitching for a while, and he just hasn’t gotten around to buying new ones. He has bitched to Evan about it, though, so much so that he now knows exactly which ones he wanted. Seb shoots a glare at Evan, who just raises his eyebrows in mock innocence.

“Thanks,” Seb says with a smile then, turning back to Sophie, who is sitting right next to him. He hugs her tightly. “Really.”

Jake is sitting right next to Sophie, but Seb doesn’t hug him. Instead, he just gives him a nod and a smile, which Jake returns. They don’t really hug much, anyway.

The whole thing is rather mellow and chilled out, and everyone has a really good time. They order pizza, and end up just sitting in the living room, hanging out on the floor, in the couch or in the armchairs. Seb and Evan bought another armchair when they first moved in, one that doesn’t even match the one they brought from Seb's old dorm room, but it still works.

They talk, they laugh, get a little bit drunk, and mostly share stories and play a few rounds of
Never have I ever,
music playing in the background
.
It's all really relaxed, and by the time the night ends, Seb feels that this whole party idea was actually worth it.

Jake and Sophie are the last to leave, and as soon as they do, Seb closes the door behind them, letting out a heavy breath. He locks the door and leans his forehead against it for a few moments, closing his eyes. But then he feels Evan’s hands on his hips, and he smiles tiredly, automatically leaning into Evan’s chest, as he comes up behind him.

“So,” Evan murmurs, kissing him right below his ear, both of them still a bit drunk, by now bordering on just tipsy. “Happy?”

“I’d say so,” Seb says, opening his eyes and turning around in Evan’s arms, so that he can face him and slide his hands down along his waist. “I had fun.”

Evan smiles.

“Good,” he says, planting a kiss on Seb's forehead. Then he just looks at him for a moment, before perking up a bit. “Come on. I wanna show you something.”

Seb frowns as Evan moves away from him, tugging on his hand slightly. Evan turns around and makes his way into the bedroom, and Seb slowly follows. He doesn’t even make it in there, though, before Evan emerges again, something hidden behind his back. He then stops dead in front of Seb, and holds the hidden object out to him.

“Happy birthday,” he says, and Seb looks down at what he's holding. It's a small package wrapped in plain, black paper, with string that looks more like twine, wrapped around it. Seb glances up at Evan, before accepting the gift, and he feels the light weight of it in his hand. He frowns, but all he gets from Evan, when he looks up at him again, is an encouraging, albeit slightly nervous, eyebrow-raise. Seb looks back at the present, and starts unwrapping it.

The string is first to go, and he can practically feel Evan’s gaze on him the whole time, as the matte paper eventually falls to the floor. And then he turns the object over in his hand, smiling.

It's a book. Not just any book, though; it's one of Seb's all-time favorites. He looks up at Evan.

“Thank you,” he says, and Evan gives him a small, slightly nervous smile. Seb will never quite get used to seeing Evan
nervous
.

“Look inside,” he says, and Seb does, reading the title page. And he feels the surprise show on his face.

“First edition,” he murmurs, before looking up at Evan, eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

Evan cocks his head, and Seb feels the sheer surprise show on his face, even more, as he turns back to the book. He lets his fingers smooth over the cover and the pages, which he now notices are slightly worn and yellowed. He knows the reverence that's probably showing on his face, as he does; he has been told just how he can look at books as though they are sacred, or made of gold.

“Yeah,” Evan says, a bit awkwardly. “Don’t worry, though, I didn’t spend a fortune on it. Just got lucky.”

Seb smiles a bit at that, eyes still on the book. He knows that a first edition of anything can reach pretty steep prices, so he's glad that Evan didn’t spend a fortune, as he put it. He wouldn’t have wanted that.

Seb inhales deeply, looking back up at Evan.

“Thank you,” he says again, sounding kind of breathless, and Evan just gives him another uncharacteristically nervous smile.

“Glad you like it,” he says. “I was a bit worried.”

Seb uses his free hand to cradle Evan’s face, and he kisses him, hard.

“I love it,” he says, with complete honesty. “I love it.”