Just the Way You Are (30 page)

Last but by no means least, Craig entered to
Scream and Shout
by Will.i.am and Britney Spears. He didn’t look at all comfortable being there; I could see sweat stains forming on the underarms of his hot pink tuxedo. He cast nervous glances at the guests as he greeted them, looking like he was about to face a firing squad. Then again, I reasoned, if Maddie was your fiancé you had every right to be scared!

A little while into the party, Maddie stepped up on stage to address her guests. The music provided by the band stopped abruptly, forcing everyone’s attention onto her.

‘Testing, testing…’ She made a huge show of checking the microphone was working and did a horribly fake laugh.

‘As you all know, my
gorgeous
boyfriend Craig proposed to me and I said yes! In fact, that’s why we’re all here to celebrate tonight. Come on up, honey…’

Her face hardened as she scanned the crowd for Craig, but couldn’t find him.

‘Does anyone know where my fiancé’s gone?!’ Suddenly, her angelic demeanour had slipped and she looked like the shrill, shrieking shrew that she really was.

Everyone looked pretty unconcerned by this latest development. A low hum of chatter spread throughout the room but nobody seemed too worried that Craig had gone walkabout. Maddie was getting angrier by the second, judging by the vein throbbing in her temple.

‘I never liked that boy,’ her mum said. ‘No backbone, that’s what I said to her.’

‘Shut up Mother!’ she screeched. Then, just like that, her angelic and sweet demeanour slotted neatly back into place. ‘A couple of minutes’ delay folks, but everything should be happening
as planned
when Craig gets back.’

She searched frantically around the room until her eyes fell upon me.

‘Ava, will you come with me to find Craig please?’ she asked in a syrupy-sweet voice.

‘Yeah if you like…’ With a great deal of apprehension, I followed Maddie out of the room. As soon as we left, I heard the hum of chatter grow louder. The guests were no doubt wondering whether Craig had done a runner from his own engagement party.

‘I’m sure he’s only popped to the toilet – like your mum, said he’ll be back any minute now. He might even be back at the party waiting for you!’

I had to break into a small jog to keep up with her. An angry Maddie could walk fast even in four-inch heels. Suddenly she turned and glared at me.

‘Do I
look
stupid to you?!’ she hissed.

‘No of course not, your dress is lovely by the way…’

‘Can it Clements! I know Craig and I know something’s up. He went into that engagement party happy and now he’s done a disappearing act. When I find out where he is, his life won’t be bloody worth living!’

She stormed off in the direction of the front door and out into the grounds, with me bringing up the rear. She stopped dead as soon as the huge glass conservatory on the left side of the house came into view.

‘Oh my shit,’ she eked out in a tiny little voice.

Craig emerged from the conservatory, looking flushed and guilty. His trousers were round his ankles and his shirt was unbuttoned. As he drew closer, I could smell alcohol.

‘Babe I-I’m so sorry…’ His words were slurred and he stumbled around on the grass.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Maddie’s voice was eerily calm, but I could see her whole frame tremble. Her hands were balled into fists by her sides; she looked like she was ready to swing for him.

Right on cue, a tiny Hispanic man came out to join us on the grass. His black hair looked like it had been immaculately coiffed once upon a time. It was now ruffled and sticking up at odd angles. He buttoned up his white satin shirt and pulled up his smart black trousers.

‘Ernesto, you little
shit
!’ Maddie moved to fly at him but I held her back. I had the feeling Ernesto was a dirty fighter.

‘You obviously weren’t giving him what he needed, honey bee!’ came his thick, high-pitched Spanish voice. ‘You with your curls and your big puffy lips and teeny tiny breasticles! How could you ever hope to compete with
this
?’

He ran a hand down his own stocky frame to indicate he was “
this
”. I desperately tried not to laugh. I knew it wasn’t funny for Maddie but it was like something out of a slapstick comedy to me.

‘You dirty, cheating little scrote; I’ll sue you for this! And as for
you
,’ She rounded on her now ex-fiancé and began punching every inch of him she could reach. ‘Did you ever plan on telling me you bat for the other team?!’

‘I-I’m not gay babe, please believe me! I-I’m hammered right now, can’t you tell? Ernesto invited me out here so he could fix my tux or something and the next thing I know, he’s all over me.’

Ernesto shouted a rebuttal in Spanish that none of us understood, and then began telling us his own version of events. Craig had apparently asked to see him to “discuss some wedding details” and had made a move on him. According to him, this was the culmination of weeks of flirting between them, not just a drunken mistake.

‘Tell me he’s lying, Craig.’ An ominous crack ran through Maddie’s voice.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. ‘I’m so sorry…’

In that moment, I felt for him a little. He was obviously a man who hadn’t quite come to terms with his sexuality yet. In a way, I empathised with him; the feeling of trapping yourself in a life you never wanted was all too familiar to me.

She stared at them in horror then turned and ran back towards the house.

‘Maddie wait!’ I yelled. I went to run after her but noticed Craig was just standing still, staring around himself like a moron.

‘Aren’t you going to go after her and try to make things right?!’ I asked.

‘What would I say? Where would I start?’

‘You could start by telling her you love her and that this is just one massive mistake?’

‘That’s the thing; I don’t think I do love her. I’m not sure I ever did really; I just got carried away with myself. I’ve never been honest with myself about who I truly am, but since I met Ernesto things have been different.’

I saw Ernesto inspect his immaculate manicure and fix his raven-black bouffant. He looked very pleased with himself.

‘Fair enough, you’re happy; I get it. But don’t you think you still owe Maddie an explanation?! You proposed to her, for God’s sake! Doesn’t she mean anything to you?’

Craig put his arm around Ernesto. ‘Not as much as this man does.’

I shook my head and left them before I gave into the urge to punch him in the face. He might be struggling with his sexual orientation, but he also wasn’t willing to take responsibility for Maddie’s hurt feelings, broken dreams and ruined wedding plans. He was a pathetic, weak-willed man who only thought of himself.

I found Maddie in a crumpled heap on the stairs. Her tutu fanned out impressively as she buried her face in the crimson velvet runner.

‘What do you want? Come to gloat have you?’ she asked when she sat up and saw me.

‘No, I came to see if you were OK. Maddie, I know we haven’t seen eye-to-eye over the years but you didn’t deserve what happened to you today. Craig’s a coward and he probably always will be. He wouldn’t even come inside to talk to you about what happened with him and Ernesto; what does that say about him?’

I took a seat next to her and handed her a tissue from my bag to wipe her inky black eyes.

‘I just feel such an
idiot
for not spotting it before. It had to come down to this, our
bloody engagement party
, for me to find out. Now there’s a room full of people in there who’ll want to know what’s happened and I just can’t face them.’

In all the years Maddie and I had been enemies, I’d only felt sorry for her twice: the night she’d told me about the eating disorder, and now. She’d had her heart crushed by someone she really cared about: nobody deserved that did they?

‘You know what I think you should do? I reckon you should go in there, tell them all he’s a cheating rat then carry on with the party.’

Maddie screwed her nose up. ‘You what?’

‘Just because you’re not engaged any more doesn’t mean you can’t still have an amazing party. Why let the fact that Craig’s a cheating bastard ruin a perfectly good night? Look at all those women who have divorce parties; you can be like them, without having the hassle of getting divorced first.’

A slow smile crept onto her face and she let out a sad little chuckle before wiping her eyes again.

‘Thanks Ava. Listen, I should’ve said this a whole lot earlier but I’m really sorry about that whole Mr Writer thing. What I did was cruel and spiteful and I actually felt really bad about it afterwards. D-did you ever find out who was writing to you, by the way?’

I nodded and gave a little chuckle. ‘Yeah, it was my best mate Max actually.’

Saying his name made a knife twist in my gut. I really had treated him horribly.

‘Max… I liked Max when we were at uni. Didn’t he drop his Economics degree after first year?’

I nodded again. ‘He wanted to become a chef instead and that’s exactly what he did. He’s really talented; he runs his own kitchen team at Brown’s.’

I pictured him doing what he loved, tending to boiling hot pans and woks. His face always looked so alive and passion radiated from him. The image made me want to cry.

‘So why aren’t you with him now?’ Maddie asked.

I shrugged. ‘We’re just friends. I-I… I love him but the way I reacted when I found out he’d been the one writing to me… It was unforgivable. I basically told him he was a disappointment and that I didn’t want anything more to do with him.’

My heart fluttered; I’d never said I loved Max out loud before, not even to Gwen.

‘I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean it. You should call him and make up.’ Maddie put a hand on my shoulder and smiled sincerely for the first time ever.

I was strangely touched by her interest in my friends’ lives and mine. Then when I remembered her statuesque, model-like friends back in the drawing room who looked like they existed on fresh air and lettuce leaves, it occurred to me that maybe she didn’t have proper friends like mine.

‘We’ve made up and we’re friends now, it’s just… I have all these feelings for him and I have no idea what they mean and it’s scary and… I just don’t think he’d want me now.’

My last sentence caught in my throat and I had to look away for a moment to keep myself in check.

‘I remember you two together at uni while he was there. Anyone could see how much he liked you. Even after he dropped out, he was always coming round to see you and cook dinner for you! He even took you out when you were stressing about your exams.’

I remembered long summer days walking through Heaton Park with Max, laughing at a joke he’d told or sharing an inside story. In those days, it had seemed like life would go on forever. When did it get so shit, I wondered.

‘That’s true, I remember that…’ I trailed off as more memories consumed my brain.

‘Can I ask you something, from one enemy to another?’

‘Sure,’ I said, sneaking a quick glance at her face to make sure she was joking.

‘If he was the one writing to
me
all those years ago and now, I’d be doing everything I could to show him how much I loved him. I’d try anything and I certainly wouldn’t give up without a fight. Ava, it sounds like Max is The One. You have to fight for him.’

I stared hard at Maddie, wondering what on earth she was on. Usually she was giving me evils, not love advice.

‘Do you love him?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ I replied without a second’s hesitation.

‘Then go and bloody tell him, will you! My night might be ruined but yours doesn’t have to be. You two are meant for each other Ava, everyone can bloody see it!’

A strange feeling took over me and I leapt up from the step.

‘There’s somewhere I have to be right now.’ I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and we walked down the stairs together.

As Maddie made her way to the drawing room to tell everyone her engagement was off, I ran down the gravel driveway, hoping to get my Mr Writer once and for all.

Chapter 28

I caught the first cab I could find back to Manchester and told him I didn’t mind the price. Who gave a chuff about money when the love of my life was at stake?

When I got to Max’s flat, I shoved some money into the elderly taxi driver’s hand then ran through the open door into his building. I threw my shoes off and took the stairs two at a time like a woman possessed. I didn’t care about the blisters on my feet or the fact that my discarded shoes had cost nearly £80. All that mattered was Max. I was realising everything I should’ve realised ages ago all at once. It was like my eyes had finally been opened.

I got to the top, a wheezing, panting mess. My elegant bun had now fallen out and my flower clip was lopsided. It didn’t matter though as I dragged myself to his door. I knocked on it and willed him to answer quickly.

After what seemed like hours, he came to the door. His hair, as usual, was sticking up at odd angles and his eyes looked a little tired. Still, I couldn’t ignore how good he looked in his teal long-sleeved top.

‘What are you doing here, Munchkin? I thought you were supposed to be at Maddie’s engagement party.’

‘Long story.’ I could barely get my words out as I struggled to get my breath back. ‘Max, I need to speak to you…’

I trailed off as I saw something strange in his hall: his suitcase, sitting fully packed judging by the shirt sleeve sticking out of it. Not only that, there was a Louis Vuitton holdall beside it. Very strange.

‘What is it?’ he asked.

‘Going somewhere?’ I gestured to his suitcase.

Max looked behind him for a moment then turned back to me. A look of guilt was plastered across his face.

‘Ava, there’s something I haven’t told you…’

Before he could finish, the owner of the Louis Vuitton holdall sashayed into the hall, looking very pleased with herself.

‘Amira… I didn’t know you were going to be here.’ I knew it was important to maintain a cool façade in front of her. Any signs of weakness and she’d pounce like a tigress.