Just The Way You Are (22 page)

She saw the gleam in his eye and remembered their leaping libidos from the last time they'd gone oyster hunting.

"Stew," she said abruptly. "We'll make oyster stew at Grams's house in her big black pot. And what we don't eat, we'll give away to the neighbors like we used to do."

"Tessa," Sam called. "Alli says we're making oyster stew at Phoebe's house tonight."

Tessa looked up in surprise. "Why? Why can't you make it at your house?"

"Because we always did it at Grams's house," Alli explained, although she was irritated that Sam had felt the need to bring Tessa into it at all. She belonged at her grandmother's house as much as Tessa did, if not more.

"I still don't see—" Tessa began.

"You don't have to see," Alli cut in. "That's where we're doing it. Her kitchen is bigger. The table is longer. And besides, we almost always found the pearl sitting around Grams's kitchen table."

"Fine," Tessa said with a sigh. "Let's just get this over with." She wrinkled up her nose as she bent over and scooped several oysters into her bag. "I can't believe I'm doing this. I never thought coming home would include wading in the tide pools. I can feel the water seeping through my rubber boots."

"You'll live," Alli said crisply.

Tessa shot her a dark look. "Of course I will. Did I say I wouldn't?"

"Are you guys fighting?" Megan asked curiously.

"No," Alli said quickly. "We're just talking like sisters do."

"Sounded like fighting to me," Megan muttered.

"Me, too," Sam said, taking his daughter's hand. "Why don't we go look over there? I think I see a better spot."

Alli bit down on her lip as Sam and Megan wandered away. She hadn't meant to snap, to start anything. Why couldn't she just stop putting her foot in her mouth?

Two hours later, their bags full, they began the hike back to the car. Tessa handed Jimmy her bag to carry. "It's the least you can do," she told him.

"Anything for you, princess," he said, swinging the sack over one shoulder, the camera bag on the other.

"Thus speaks the man who wouldn't get his feet wet or his hands dirty."

"I got some great shots, though. This is a beautiful piece of coastline, and with you in it, it's quite spectacular." His voice turned husky and something inside of her melted. It was nice to be appreciated. Sam hadn't paid her much attention at all, catering to Megan, helping Alli, talking to Jimmy. In fact, it seemed like he'd gone out of his way to avoid her.

"Come on," she said. "I'm thirsty. I just want to go home, put my feet up, and have a really big glass of iced tea."

He sent her a strange look.

"What?"

"You just called your grandmother's house home."

"It was my home," she said slowly.

"Freudian slip?" He didn't wait for an answer, heading up the path with Alli, leaving Tessa once again to bring up the rear with Sam.

"Tired?" Sam asked her as she let out a sigh.

"A little. I'm not used to all this fresh air."

"I don't think I could breathe in a city," he said. "We went to L.A. for a weekend a few years back. The smog about killed me. I don't how you can stand to live there."

"It has other things to offer besides fresh air."

"Which you can't enjoy, because you're dead."

"Oh, hush," she said, knowing he was teasing her by the curve of his lips. "It's not that bad. Maybe if you spent some time there, or in New York—it's such a wonderful city, so much energy and action and things to do. I think you'd like it."

"Manhattan was always on the top of your list of places to see. I'm glad you got there, Tessa."

"Me, too."

He nodded and they set off up the hill. He didn't have much to say and for the moment she didn't either. They'd talked around their relationship in so many circles she wasn't sure if she was coming or going. Her feelings about Sam were just as mixed up, just as confused.

"Sam—"

"Later," he said, cutting her off.

"It is later."

"Alli and Megan are just up ahead."

And he was still concerned about them. Tessa could understand that, sort of. But it was irritating just the same. She couldn't get a handle on this new Sam, the one who didn't put her first, who didn't turn his back on Alli. Not that she selfishly expected him to be at her beck and call, but he'd always been so attentive before, so interested in what she was interested in. Could they ever find that common ground again?

A piercing scream came from up ahead.

"Megan." The word came out of Sam's mouth in a rush. They both burst into a run, turning the corner to see Megan in a swarm of bees.

"Oh, my God," Tessa said, as Alli and Jimmy tried to swat the bees away from her.

"Daddy, save me," Megan screamed, looking directly at her father.

Sam ran straight into the swarm of bees. He gathered Megan into his arms and took off up the path, daring the bees to follow them.

Alli ran after them, and Tessa and Jimmy followed. They didn't stop until they reached the parking lot, where Sam set Megan down on her feet and knelt in front of her, so he could see into her face, run his hands up and down her arms.

"You're okay, honey, you're okay." Sam said soothingly. "They're all gone."

Megan sniffed back a snob. "I don't like bees," she said, then burst into tears.

Sam pulled her against his chest. "I don't either. But they aren't going to hurt you anymore."

"How badly is she stung?" Alli asked, her face white, but her voice still strong and composed as she gently pulled Megan away from her father so she could check her for bee stings.

Tessa was shaking herself and couldn't quite believe Alli could stand there so calmly and deal with her daughter's pain. It suddenly occurred to her that Alli was a mother and apparently a pretty good one.

"I see at least four," Alli said to Sam. "Oh, my God." She stared at Sam in horror.

"What's wrong?" Tessa asked. But she knew, of course, she knew as well as Alli did.

"You're allergic." Both Alli and Tessa breathed the words at exactly the same time.

"Sam, you have to go to the hospital," Alli said. "You've been stung on your face."

"As soon as I make sure is Megan is okay," Sam replied.

"She's fine. Get in the car."

He got to his feet and Tessa saw that his cheeks were beginning to swell. She had a vivid flashback to the last time, when Sam had stepped on a bee at the beach. Within minutes he hadn't been able to breathe. If they hadn't called the paramedics…

"Help me get him in the car," Alli said to Jimmy. "He got stung by a bee once before and almost died."

Between them, they got a staggering Sam into the front seat of Alli's minivan, while Megan climbed into the back, crying even louder now that she sensed something was wrong with her daddy.

"It will be okay, Megan," Tessa told her helplessly. "We'll meet you at the hospital," she added as Jimmy slammed the car door and Alli tore off down the road.

"Well," Jimmy said, letting out a breath. "I think I know why you and Alli are so hung up on the guy."

"What do you mean?"

"He almost died from a bee sting once before, yet he still ran into that swarm of bees without a second thought."

"For his daughter," Tessa said slowly.

"He's a hero," Jimmy muttered. "A goddamned hero."

Chapter 20

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W
ithin ten minutes, Alli was turning into the parking lot by the emergency room. Sam's face was swollen, one of his eyes was shut, and he was already extremely short of breath. But she managed to get him out of the car and through the double doors of the hospital. The receptionist took one look at Sam and had an orderly grab a nearby wheelchair.

"Be okay," Alli said breathlessly, kissing the top of his head. "I'll take care of everything out here." She hesitated. "I love you," she said after him, but he was already gone.

"Is Daddy going to be all right?" Megan asked, tugging on her hand.

"He will be fine. They just have to give him some medicine, and then he'll be good as new."

"I'm sorry, Mommy." Megan burst into tears once again as she buried her face in Alli's stomach.

"It's not your fault," Alli said, stroking Megan's head. "You didn't see the bees."

"I should have looked where I was going," she choked out in between sobs.

Alli pulled Megan's head up and smiled down at her watery blue eyes. "It's not your fault," she repeated. "I was talking to you, distracting you, remember? If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. You don't worry about it for one second longer, okay? Now, how's your face, sweet pea?"

"It hurts," Megan whimpered.

Alli pulled Megan's hair away from her face and counted at least four bee stings, but unlike Sam, Megan had only slight tender puffs at the sting sites.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but could you fill out these forms on your husband, please?" the receptionist asked. "And I'll need your insurance card."

"Okay." Alli turned her head as Tessa and Jimmy burst through the emergency room doors. Tessa looked frantic, her eyes holding a fear that Alli remembered seeing once before when their parents had died. "He's going to be okay," she said automatically. "They'll give him a shot. It will be all right."

"Are you sure?"

Alli nodded. "I'm sure."

Tessa sent her a searching look, then let out a breath and glanced toward Megan. "How are you, honey?"

Megan's lip quivered once again. "Hurts," she said, drawing a hand across her teary eyes.

The receptionist came back with a clipboard and an ice bag. "I thought you might need this for your little girl."

"Thank you," Alli said. She juggled both items for a minute, then turned to Tessa. "I need to fill out the paperwork. Could you help Megan with the ice pack?"

Tessa looked taken aback by the request. "I—I guess. Let's sit over there." Tessa took Megan's hand and led her over to a row of chairs against the wall.

"You okay?" Jimmy asked Alli.

"I'm fine."

He slowly smiled. "Yeah, you are, aren't you?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I think I figured out not only what you see in Sam, but what he sees in you."

Alli wanted to ask him what he meant, but he simply winked at her and went over to join Tessa. First things first, she decided. She had to take care of the insurance, then deal with Megan. She hoped Sam would truly be all right, as she'd predicted so confidently just a moment before.

* * *

Megan had chosen to sit in Tessa's lap rather than on the chair next to her. It felt strange to have a child on her lap, to feel a curly head under her chin, to smell baby shampoo and to hear tiny little sobs. Tessa patted Megan, feeling awkward and incompetent. She would have preferred dealing with the insurance forms and letting Alli handle the mothering part. She feared she'd do the wrong thing, make Megan feel worse instead of better.

Tessa sent Jimmy a desperate look, but he gave her a sublime smile that told her he was enjoying her predicament. Well, screw him, she decided. So much for helping her, for being a friend…

"Daddy's going to be mad at me," Megan said.

The line caught at Tessa's heart. "Oh, no, he's not, Megan. He loves you. He would never be mad at you for this. It was an accident."

Megan turned to look up at her. "Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not."

"Do you like me?"

"Yes, I do. Very much," Tessa said, wondering where the questions were coming from.

"How come you never came to see me before?"

Tessa licked her lips. "Well, I've been traveling around the world. I just never got back to Tucker's Landing, but that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"I heard Mrs. Conroy tell Mommy that you stayed away because Mommy had me. And you didn't like me."

Tessa stared at Megan in horror, hating the rejected look in Megan's eyes, hating the fact that somehow, however inadvertently, she'd been the one to put it there.

"That's just not true," Tessa said firmly. "I left home to become a model, because that's my job. That's what I do. My staying away had nothing to do with you."

"But you don't like Mommy," Megan said.

"We're sisters. Sometimes sisters fight, just like friends fight. I bet you argue with your friends sometimes."

"Then we make up." Megan put her hands on Tessa's face, and Tessa had to stop herself from flinching. This mothering stuff was dirty business. "You
and Mommy have to make up."

"We will someday," Tessa lied, because she didn't know what else to say.

Megan studied her for a long moment. "All right, then." She turned her attention to the nearby television and squirmed around in Tessa's lap until she could lean back against Tessa and watch in comfort.

Tessa tightened her arms around the little girl, realizing she was starting to enjoy the contact. She wondered what it would be like to have a child of her own. It wasn't something she'd thought much about, especially after Sam's departure from her life.

After that, she'd been consumed with staying thin and looking beautiful and getting magazine covers. But she knew that her career wouldn't last forever, not in the business she'd chosen. And then what would she have? Scrapbooks full of photos, clippings of hundreds of parties, two apartments and not one home, not one man?

Did she want children? Did she want a husband? The white picket fence, the carpools, the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches? Right now, holding Megan, she could see some definite advantages to having a child. She'd have someone to love her, someone to belong to her. Maybe that's what Alli had been looking for, she thought suddenly, her gaze traveling to the counter where Alli was finishing up the admittance procedures.

Jimmy didn't think she looked at Alli, and maybe he was right. Because the woman she saw standing in the emergency room was nothing like the pesky little sister she remembered. Alli had grown up. Well, so had she. That didn't solve their problems, but it did add some distance, maybe some perspective.

Jimmy sat down next to her. "How's it going?"

Tessa took the ice pack off the side of Megan's face. "Looks better, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you've got guts, kid."

Megan smiled like every other female who came under Jimmy's charm. "Mommy said I was very brave."

"You
were
very brave," he agreed. "If I ever have a little girl, I hope she'll be just like you."

"Are you planning to have children?" Tessa asked him.

"I'd like to."

"Really?"

"Why so surprised?"

"Children would tie you down."

"I've been pretty much everywhere I wanted to go, sometimes twice. The world isn't that big."

"I'm still not sure I can see you changing a dirty diaper. You're not exactly prone to manual labor."

"My wife will take care of the diapers."

"You are such a chauvinist."

"What's a chauvinist?" Megan asked.

"It's a man who lets his wife change diapers."

"Daddy says he used to change my diaper."

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Jimmy said dryly. "Okay, what about you? Any kids in your future, Tessa?"

"Yesterday I would have said probably not."

"But today your biological clock started ticking?"

"Something like that," she said, smoothing down a piece of Megan's hair.

Jimmy followed her movement with his eyes and they softened when he gazed at her. "You look good doing that. Can you believe I actually left my camera in the car?"

"It's about time. You know, it occurs to me that you're so busy taking our pictures, you don't really participate, you just watch."

He shrugged. "Someone has to be the recorder."

"I don't think that's a rule."

"You like having your picture taken."

"I also like doing stuff with you. So it's okay with me if once in a while you come to me barehanded."

"I'll remember that."

"Good."

"Everything okay?" Alli asked as she joined them. She smiled down at Megan. "Better?"

Megan nodded, pushing the ice pack away from her face. "I'm hungry."

"I think there's a snack machine over there," Alli said. "Come and pick out something with me."

Megan immediately slipped off Tessa's lap and took her mother's hand.

"Anyone else want anything?" Alli asked.

Jimmy said no, and Tessa shook her head, feeling suddenly cold without Megan on her lap.

"What's wrong?" Jimmy asked.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"I thought I was satisfied with my life until I came here," she said.

"And saw what you were missing? Come on, Tessa, I know Tucker's Landing is a cute little town, but do you really want to spend your life here?"

"I want a husband. I want children. I want some roots somewhere."

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You do?"

"I don't think I realized I did until just now." She got to her feet and stretched her arms over her head. "Everything is all mixed up in my mind. And I find it odd that we're in this part of the hospital with Sam while my grandmother is just a few floors up."

"You want to go see her?"

"I think so. Do you want to come with me?"

"I'll wait here with Alli and Megan. I've been in emergency rooms before, and I have a feeling it will be a while before we see Sam again."

"I'll just stop in and say hello to Grams and tell her we're going to shuck some more oysters. That should reassure her."

Tessa stepped onto the elevator just as Alli returned to Jimmy with a bag of nacho chips and a can of Gatorade. She popped the lid for Megan and handed it over to her, then squeezed open the bag of chips. It was all so ordinary, and she relished the simple movements, feeling more like they were in a park at a picnic than in the emergency room of a hospital.

"Did Tessa go up to see Grams?"

"Yes."

"That's good." She cast another worried look at the double doors through which Sam had disappeared. She wished she could have gone with him.

"He's going to be fine, you know," Jimmy said.

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from worrying. Since I had Megan I've become immensely concerned with my own mortality—and Sam's, too." She dropped her voice, even though Megan had wandered over to a chair closer to the television set. "I don't want her to grow up without both of her parents."

"The way you did," Jimmy said.

"I wouldn't want her to go through that for anything in the world. Losing my parents left me with this incredible sense of panic that kicks in every time someone I love is a little bit late. I know it drives Sam crazy how often I call to check up on him, but he never had the rug pulled out from under him the way I did."

"I can see how you would worry. But he will be all right. You got him here in time."

"I know. You're right." She leaned back against her chair, taking slow, deep breaths. Five minutes passed, then fifteen. Alli stood up and paced. Jimmy went to get a soda. A half hour and no word. She was just about to demand to be taken to Sam when Tessa reappeared.

"How's Grams?" Alli asked.

Tessa frowned. "Tired, worried, sluggish. She was talking better yesterday than she is today. William said she just got back from physical therapy and that makes her too tired to speak clearly."

Alli studied Tessa's face thoughtfully, wondering if there was something her sister wasn't telling her. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"I think so. She's still focused on us getting that pearl. I don't want to be the one to tell her we failed."

"We won't fail. Maybe you and Jimmy should go home and get started."

"I want to make sure Sam is all right," Tessa said.

"It could be a while."

"I don't want to leave yet."

Alli slowly nodded. "All right. Then we wait."

Fifteen minutes later, the double doors opened and Sam appeared in a wheelchair.

"I told them I could walk," he said as he was rolled up to them.

Alli smiled down at him with her heart filled to the brim with love. Thank God he was all right! His face was still swollen, but his breathing was clear and sharp. "Are you really okay?" She couldn't help taking his hand, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm fine. How's Megan?"

Alli tipped her head to where Megan was engrossed in a television program, completely oblivious to anything else in the room. "Recovered," she said with a wry smile.