Just This Once (8 page)

“It’s not like anyone will care if you’re gay, Paula. Everybody knows that Matthew is, and no one gives him a hard time. Management isn’t going to fire you, not with their nondiscrimination clause.”

“I know all of that on the surface, but you know what? If I come out to these people, the next time I have to reprimand someone, it’ll be because I’m a fucking dyke, as if that makes my authority less valid. I’d rather it just be none of their business. Besides, it isn’t like I have a personal life to keep private anyway.”

The pair watched Jolene complete the check-in process for K. Wynne Connelly, who then turned toward the elevators. Rusty advanced the camera to capture that view, and they stared in silence as she stepped aside for passengers to depart, then disappeared as the door closed.

“At the very least, you should give her a call,” he coaxed. Rusty liked his coworker a lot, but he couldn’t understand why on earth someone who had so much to offer would keep to herself as Paula did. In the three years that they’d shared the night shift, he’d gotten to know her pretty well, and she’d only mentioned one casual girlfriend in all that time. Part of the problem, he knew, was their awful work schedule. Lucky for him that Juliana too worked the evening hours, and then, only part time.

“Later, maybe.”

In other words, when she was alone
, he thought. He’d think of a reason to make himself scarce in a half-hour or so.

———

Wynne opened her briefcase and spread her materials out on a corner of the conference table. It was a quarter till nine; usually they started promptly at 8:30, but there was no sign that anyone else was even here. A feeling of dread swept over her as she feared that she’d gotten her weeks mixed up, or that they’d canceled this week and she’d forgotten.

“Good morning, sorry I’m late.” Cheryl Williams bounded into the room with her typical exuberance. “Listen, we’re going to move into my office to finish this up,” she explained as she helped Wynne collect her papers.

“Is Doug already here?”

“No, Ken and I decided that it would be best to proceed with just the two of us. That might mean an extra trip for you, but then again, we may be able to move through things a little faster with less discussion.”

She meant fewer objections from Doug, Wynne knew.

“I’ll be happy to do whatever you need, Cheryl.”

“I know that about you, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.” She led them into her corner office, where coffee and breakfast rolls were already set up. “I didn’t get a chance to eat this morning, so I hope you don’t mind. Help yourself.”

“No thank you. I ate at the hotel.”

“So how do you like the Weller Regent?”

“It’s very comfortable. And it’s quiet. I like that.”

“So do I. There’s a nice one in Washington, but the one in New York is my favorite. They also just opened a new one in Dallas and another in Denver.”

“I haven’t had the chance to try those.”

“And speaking of Dallas, I’m sure you’re wondering why we decided to take Doug out of the loop with regard to the marketing plan.” Cheryl’s eyes held a conspiratorial twinkle.

“I could guess, but I’d rather not.”

“You’re very diplomatic, Wynne. And you’d probably be right. It just seemed increasingly difficult to push ahead with Doug’s constant objections, especially once it became apparent that he was opposed to anything that might weaken his own stature.”

Wynne nodded in understanding. That was Doug in a nutshell.

“That makes me want to ask why you haven’t had the same reaction.” The words hung in the air for a moment, but before Wynne could answer, she continued. “It’s become obvious — almost since Day 1 — that the streamlined sales and marketing plan is going to take away some positions, and yours is certainly at risk. You’ve seen that, but you don’t seem to fight it at all. Why is that? Are you eager to be rid of Eldon-Markoff?”

“No, not at all. It’s just that centralization is what’s best for the company and the stockholders, and that’s who I work for. I can sure see the handwriting on the wall, but that doesn’t change what’s a good business decision. What I know about Eldon-Markoff is that it’s a fair employer, and I only hope to be treated fairly.”
Well, there you go. My job’s definitely on the block
.

“You will be, Wynne. If you’ve worried about that at all, let me put your fears to rest.”

“Thank you.”

———

Paula pulled into the circle in front of the Weller Regent, waving politely to the valet crew. Wynne was waiting outside, and a young man hurriedly stepped forward to open the passenger door.

“Hello, Miss McKenzie. You ladies have a nice evening.”

“Hi, Justin. Thanks.” Paula shifted the car into gear and slowly edged out into traffic.

Tonight, the top was up, as it had rained earlier in the day. “Hello again, Miss Connelly. Are you enjoying your stay at the Weller Regent?”

“Most certainly, Miss McKenzie. I especially like the way the hotel staff coordinates my entertainment schedule.”

Paula grinned at her companion. She’d thought Tuesday night would never get here!

“So what are we going to see?”

The driver explained their choices and they settled on an action adventure flick that had gotten pretty good reviews. It turned out to be a pretty good story, and the special effects were spectacular.

But Wynne got distracted about halfway through and could barely concentrate on the film. Instead, she became focused on the fact that she wanted to hold Paula’s hand. She’d told herself ever since her last trip to Orlando that the only way she was going to allow herself to socialize with this woman was if she kept things at a “friend” level, but now that they were here in the dark theater, linking her fingers with those of Paula McKenzie was about all she could think about. Finally, she picked up the drink from the cupholder they shared and moved it to her other side, raising the chair arm between them. In a not-so-subtle move, her hand crept over into Paula’s lap until the younger woman grasped it with her own, entwining their fingers and squeezing.
Ahhhh!

When the picture let out, the pair walked arm in arm to a small pizza restaurant nearby, Wynne limping slightly at the stiffness from sitting still for so long.

“You want to walk a little bit before we go in?”

“Yeah, that might be a good idea,” Wynne agreed, though not liking the fact that her injury was dictating the course of their evening.

“Listen, I appreciate your being understanding about our not having much contact at the hotel. It just wouldn’t look right. The tongues are probably already wagging anyway, but I don’t want to give them anything to talk about at work.”

“It’s okay, Paula. I wouldn’t want our friendship to create a problem for you at the hotel.”

So it’s a friendship. That hand-holding thing was just…what the hell was it?

“Are you out at work?” Wynne asked, interrupting Paula’s musings.

“Not really. I mean, Rusty knows, but he’s probably the only one.” Paula went on to explain what she and her boss had talked about only two nights ago, and why she thought it best to keep private things private. “Of course, they’re probably all speculating about you and me now anyway.”

“Then maybe I should rent a car next time,” she offered.

“I hate to have you do that. I should just get over it.”

“No, I understand how it is, really.”

“What about you? Are you out?”

“Mmmm, yes and no. The folks at the Baltimore office know, the ones who aren’t clueless, that is. But I’m not out at Eldon-Markoff. I don’t know how they’d feel about it, and I’d be afraid it might have an effect on my references.”

“Surely, companies don’t think that way anymore.”

“You’re probably right, but a lot of people still have their prejudices, and a reference might come down to one of those people, not a company policy.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, but we do it to ourselves, you know. When we hide in the closet it’s like saying we know we’re doing something wrong.”

“That’s a good point.” They had circled the block and now stood again in front of the restaurant. “You ready to eat?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

Dinner conversation turned again to the subject of being out, this time, with their families. Paula related the story of how she told her parents, and their subsequent reaction.

“Even today, I don’t think they’re very comfortable with the idea. I’ve never really brought anyone around to the house, except Susan. She and I saw each other for a few months, but it never got really serious.”

“How did your parents react to seeing you with someone?” Wynne asked.

“They were nice to her, but…kind of stiff. She wouldn’t notice that, but I did. The thing is, though, I don’t know if they were reacting to Susan, or to the idea of me with Susan.”

“Have you ever talked with them about it?”

“Yeah, I’ve talked with my mom a little. She just says that she wants me to be happy. She wishes I could find a person to give my attention to, instead of the Weller Regent.”

“Yeah, I guess parents are like that. I think they all want us to be happy, once they get over deciding what should make us that way.”

Paula clinked her beer mug with that of her companion. “I’ll drink to that. What was it like with your family?”

Wynne chuckled. “Well, it’s kind of a funny story now, but it sure wasn’t at the time.”

“Something tells me this is going to be good.”

“It was when I was in college at the University of Maryland. I was living at home, but I met this woman who lived near campus, and I started staying nights at her place. Mom went on and on about what a nice friend Judith was.” Wynne stopped her story to take a drink.

“But then they started getting suspicious, right?”

The brunette shook her head. “Oh, no. It was much more melodramatic than that. You see, in college, your professors don’t happen to care if you go by your middle name. They always call you by your first name, and mine is Katharine. But Judith didn’t know that it was also my mom’s name, and during summer vacation when she was home in Connecticut, she sent me this card with a picture of two naked women, and just as a joke, she addressed it to Katharine W. Connelly. Mom opened it and nearly had a heart attack, and of course she showed it to my dad. Then at dinner, she tossed it in front of me and Janelle grabbed it and started laughing her ass off. Mom was just glaring at me with her arms folded across her chest, and Dad was like ‘pass me the potatoes.’”

“Oh, that’s hilarious.”

“As I said, it’s funnier now than it was then. Mom stayed on my case for the next three years or so. Every woman I mentioned, she’d ask if that was my girlfriend. Finally when I told her yes once, she dropped it. But I have to give the woman credit — she’s come around.”

“Yeah, I give my mom and dad credit too. They’re okay, and I’m pretty comfortable with them.”

The waiter dropped off the check, and this time Paula insisted that it was her turn.

“I should probably get back to the hotel. It’s almost midnight, and I have a breakfast meeting at 7:30.”

Paula offered her arm as an escort and the two women walked slowly back to the parking lot. When they reached the car, they stopped, Paula guiding the tall woman to sit on the rear fender. “You know, there’s one real big drawback to me having to drop you in front of a busy hotel.”

She’s going to kiss me
.

Indeed, Paula stepped closer and placed a hand lightly on Wynne’s shoulder. “Is this okay?” she whispered as she slowly lowered her head.

Wynne raised her hand and cupped the blonde head, pulling the lips toward her own. She had tuned out that voice telling her she couldn’t have something as nice as this. Their kiss was coy at first, but soon, both women were breathing hard, open-mouthed as their tongues danced with a tentative passion. As her free hand made its way to Paula’s hip and beyond, a pair of passing headlights stopped them short.

Stepping back, Paula looked into the dazzling blue eyes and smiled. “I really liked that, Wynne.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” the dark-haired woman said huskily. “So did I.”

The women gazed for a few more moments into one another’s eyes, both sensing a deep satisfaction at what they had just shared.

“I guess I should get you home.”

“Then I suppose one of us should move.”

“Oh, that would be me,” Paula answered, stepping back to allow Wynne to stand. She unlocked the passenger door and held it while the tall woman slipped in.

Too bad about that manual transmission
, Paula thought. She wanted to hold Wynne’s hand again, but she needed both hands to drive in this downtown traffic. The hotel was only a few blocks away.

“So…are you coming back in two weeks?”

“That’s still the schedule.”

“The next launch is the last weekend in April. If you have a chance to check your calendar, let me know if you think you can be here and I’ll get an extra pass to the press site.”

“I forgot to look, but I will,” Wynne promised. That was almost six weeks away, but she doubted she could swing it. There were just too many variables.

Paula wheeled the Mazda into the curved driveway. “Have a nice day at work tomorrow and a safe trip home. I had a really good time with you tonight.”

The valet opened the passenger door. “Thank you. Me too.”

———

I’m in such trouble here
.

Wynne readied for bed, her head swimming with the memory of Paula’s mouth on hers.

If that kiss was indicative of what else they might offer one another, it wasn’t going to be easy to say no. But she couldn’t do this, no matter how much she wanted to. This was getting too complicated.

Chapter 7

“Wow, where’d you get all this energy?” Val had been watching her friend for the last half hour, roaring through her circuit like a woman possessed. Paula was taking her time with all her reps so she’d get the maximum benefit, but as soon as she’d finish, she’d moved quickly to the next machine without a break.

“I don’t know. I just feel…invigorated.” In truth, Paula was still savoring her night out with Wynne last week, and was full of nervous energy in anticipation of the woman’s return.