Kaitlin's Silver Lining (20 page)

Kaitlin yanked her
hand from his and turned on him. “What do you know about it? How can you judge
him so quickly? You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

“Katy,” Sarge
implored. “Lord knows I’ve made my share of mistakes where you were concerned,
but I don’t deserve this bitterness you have toward me. As God is my witness, I
don’t know what it is you’re accusing me of.”

“Don’t. Don’t even
pretend you care.” Kaitlin couldn’t believe his audacity after all they’d been
through. Maybe he’d forgotten the past, but she sure hadn’t. Hate for her
father and what he’d done provided an anchor for her anger. She’d held onto
these emotions for so long, she didn’t know how to let them go.

The negative
intensity of these feelings had helped her mend from James’s betrayal on her
wedding day. She’d felt more comfortable hating a man she’d known all her life,
than hating James Latham. Her bitterness toward Sarge meant admitting there was
something wrong with him. Embracing her intense dislike for James meant
admitting there was something wrong with her.

Sarge had no words
for her. His stony silence made her uncomfortably aware of her rudeness. She
pushed herself away from the table, suddenly losing her appetite.

“Sarge is trying to
meet you halfway here. The least you can do is cooperate.” Bangles peered at
her with gentle but honest eyes.

“She’s rather
stubborn, but molasses and oats might loosen her up some.” Bryce gave her a
wink. It was just the right touch to lighten the heavy atmosphere. Kaitlin took
a deep breath. She’d come for answers, and she wasn’t going to get them if she
continued to act so immaturely. So much for proving to her father she was a
rational young woman who could make it on her own.

“Bryce is right.” She
swallowed a piece of her pride and relaxed back in her seat. “I’m not acting
like the lady I’ve become. Forgive me, Sarge.”

Sarge cleared his
throat and patted his lips with a napkin. “I was hard on both you and your
sister, because I didn’t know much about raising girls, but whatever the case,
I always had your best interests at heart. I can’t bring your mother back. I
can’t change the way things turned out for Bethany. But by God, I can try to
make things up to you. That’s all I want. A second chance. I want you to have
the Silver Saddle when I pass on. You might not want it now, but I’m hoping
it’ll be something your children and their children will grow to appreciate.
The Silver Saddle is the culmination of who I am. It’s all I have.”

Bryce leaned forward
and stretched his hand over hers. “Everyone makes mistakes, some are bigger
than others, and some mistakes leave lastin’ scars, but it sounds like Sarge is
really tryin’ to mend fences.”

Kaitlin pulled her
hand from under his and held it to her mouth, fighting tears. Sarge had never admitted
guilt for the bad times, yet what he’d just said was the closest she’d ever
heard to an apology. Perhaps Bryce was right. She gazed at her father with new
eyes, wondering if she should lower her guard. He looked old, tired. Deep
wrinkles mapped his features, and his eyelids sagged over watery blue eyes.
When she’d been younger, he’d been an unbendable rock, a hard man who’d forged
a livelihood from nothing. Now, vulnerability crept into his words and posture.

She pushed back tears
and took a deep breath. “I never could understand why I had to call you Sarge
and not Father, but I got used to it. That was little compared to other stuff.
I can’t forgive you for making Mother leave us, nor can I forgive you for
humiliating Bethany so much she felt she had to run away. Mother was partially
to blame for the immoral way Bethany viewed the world, so I suppose I can’t
hold you solely responsible for Bethany’s problems. But when you—you sent me
away...”

Her voice caught and
she stifled a sob. The old pain shot through her with fresh intensity. “Why?
Why did you have to send me away? I needed your reassurance, your strength, and
you reacted by evicting me from my home.”

“I did what I thought
best. How was I going to raise a girl by myself? You needed more than I could
give you.”

“I needed love.”

Her outburst must
have struck a nerve with Bryce, for he quickly turned his head. Was he
comparing Sarge’s actions to his own with regards to Charley? Had he thought to
drop Charley in Kaitlin’s lap and leave? But he hadn’t. He wasn’t anything like
Sarge. Spent, she sagged against the back of her chair.

Sarge scraped his
chair back and squeezed his eyes. “I loved you, gal. Too much.”

Kaitlin shook her
head. She wasn’t going to argue the fact.

“Things were never
the same when I returned. I had new values, new goals, and they didn’t fit into
your plans for my future. You could never see I was my own person.”

“The war was starting
to touch Colorado, and I didn’t want you hurt by it. I figured school in Boston
was the safest place. I also didn’t want you to follow in Bethany’s footsteps.
I didn’t know what I’d done wrong, but I couldn’t afford to repeat those
mistakes with you.” Sarge’s raspy voice gave the only indication of the
emotional turmoil he must be experiencing. Kaitlin should be moved by the
sincerity she heard, but she just wasn’t ready to trust so quickly.

“You were all I had
left. I regret sending you away. If I hadn’t sent you to Boston, you never
would have heard those suffragists speak. You never would’ve developed such an
independent nature, or the drive to fight for the things you believed in. Don’t
get me wrong. I’m proud of the woman you’ve become, but I want more for you.”

“More?”

“Anyone with half a mind
can see how lonely and bitter you’ve become. Fighting for these beliefs might
be fulfilling on a grand scale, but they make cold bedfellows at night.”

“Ah.” Kaitlin saw
exactly where this conversation headed. The old coot was about to badger her again
about marriage and family. “I was wondering how long it would take you to get
to your favorite subject. Let me save you the trouble. I am very happy living
in Denver. I love the thrill of protesting against the wrongs perpetrated
there. It gives my life meaning. I am not marriage material. No man wants a
woman who is stronger than he is.”

Bryce scratched his
forehead. He squinted his eyes and wrinkled his nose, a sure sign he was about
to argue her point. “Well, now, I don’t see where you’ve ever proved you’re
stronger than a man, Katy. I concede you’re more hardheaded than most and while
it’s true, most men like their women a bit more malleable, I don’t think it’s
safe to say no one could ever want you.”

“I do not have the
qualities necessary to make a good wife,” Kaitlin reiterated, narrowing her
eyes to punctuate her point.

They all stared at
her, waiting for her to elaborate. She rolled her eyes. “I don’t like to cook.”

“Cooks can be hired,”
Bryce argued.

“I don’t like to
clean house.”

“I can attest to
that.” He chuckled. “You had more cobwebs in your bedroom than dolls, but that
chore can be hired out as well.”

“Whoa there.” Sarge
waved a gnarled hand in the air. “When were you in her bedroom?”

Kaitlin ignored him.
“I am not at all fond of children.”

“Now that’s where
you’re wrong. Look how well you’ve done with Charley. You don’t think you’re
fond of them cuz you’ve never really been exposed to them. It’ll be different
when you have your own.” Bryce waggled a brow. “Not to mention how much fun
it’ll be makin’ ’em.”

Bangles started
chuckling at that last remark. Sarge collapsed back into his chair. “Are you
more to my daughter than just an escort, Bryce?” Sarge asked with what appeared
to be genuine fatherly concern. Kaitlin wasn’t fooled by her father’s anxiety
over Bryce’s indiscretion.

“No!” Kaitlin shot
Bryce a condemning glare. “He most certainly is not. How did we get on this
line of conversation, anyway?”

The dopey grin Bryce
wore obviously wasn’t convincing Sarge or Bangles.

“You know, partner,”
Bangles chuckled again. “That woman is liable to run you ragged. But then, a
spirited filly is a lot more pleasurable to ride than a docile mare.”

Bryce swept his gaze
over her figure. “Yep, I’d have to agree. A spirited filly she is, and she’s
got good lines, too. Although, she’s a bit of a stargazer.”

At that, Bangles
erupted into full laughter while Sarge continued to frown fiercely. Kaitlin
unfolded and refolded her napkin, uneasy with their amusement. “I’m not too
fond of being the brunt of your jokes. Care to share the humor?”

Bangles shook his
head, wiping tears of mirth from the corners of his eyes. “Ah, Katy. I’ve
missed having you around.”

She set the napkin
aside. “Enough to tell me what y’all meant by a stargazer?” She should probably
know, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember the term.

“A stargazer is a
horse that tends to hold his head too high and his nose too far out.” Bryce
pushed his plate away and pulled the glass of tea in front of him.

“I still don’t see
what’s so funny.” Was he comparing her to a horse again?

“Never mind,” Bryce
replied, taking a sip of sugared tea. “I think we should get back to more
serious things. Sarge, what can you tell me about James Latham?”

“No,” Kaitlin
interrupted before Sarge could reply. “We will not talk about James. I’d rather
talk about horses.” Kaitlin wasn’t ready to open that particular topic.

“Hush, Katy. Sarge
might know something that’ll help us figure out what James was up to.”

Sarge tapped the
table with his finger. “Why? What has James done now?”

Kaitlin refused to
provide an answer. The renewed pain of Latham’s betrayal cut deep, and she
didn’t want Sarge witnessing her distress.

“Katy? I asked a
question.”

Bryce started to open
his mouth, but Katy cut him off. “The man stirred up a bit of trouble back
home, that’s all.”

“Why do I sense
there’s more to it than that?” Sarge asked. He wasn’t one to be forthright with
information, and Kaitlin hoped he proved true to form. She didn’t need Bryce
knowing the particulars of her relationship with Latham.

“Humor me, Sarge.
Katy doesn’t seem to think I need details on the man, but past events tell me
otherwise.”

Sarge nodded.

Kaitlin’s stomach
twisted in a knot, threatening to reject the fine meal Vena had prepared. She wanted
to go to her room, so she wouldn’t have to face the hurt all over again, but
she didn’t want to leave Bryce alone with her father and Bangles to discuss
things she considered private.

Sarge leaned back in
his chair. “James used to work for me. He was kind of a hotheaded kid, but he
was a hard worker. He took a shine to a lot of girls, but when he started
flirting with Kaitlin, I decided to encourage the suit.”

“Kaitlin came back
from school with some mighty lofty ideas,” Bangles picked up the conversation.
“She was still mad at Sarge for sending her away, so she decided to apply for
her own homestead. She was going to prove to Sarge she didn’t need him or any
man telling her what to do. At twenty-one, she had a legal right to do this.”

“She had a legal
right, but she wasn’t physically equipped to handle all the hardships,” Sarge
continued. “I sent James over to her place to help her out. He was reluctant at
first, but I offered him enough money. A year after she moved out to the
honeymoon cabin, James started working as her foreman. She didn’t know I’d sent
him, and he was smooth enough to make it seem like it was his idea. I promised
him another fifty acres if he’d get her to agree to marry him. At first he
refused to even consider it. It was two years later before he began seriously
courting her.”

Kaitlin leaned her
head back and closed her eyes. She always knew there was more to James’s sudden
interest in her than what he claimed. She should have suspected Sarge’s hand in
her romance. “One minute he was just my foreman, and the next he was dazzling
me with compliments. I didn’t understand his sudden interest in me as a woman,
but I was lonely, and he made me want things.”

“Now it’s your turn,
young man. What has Latham done to warrant these questions?” Sarge asked.

“No, Bryce, please.”
Katy shifted uneasily in her chair. “He doesn’t have a right to know my
personal affairs especially after confessing his hand in Latham’s proposal.”

“I imagine Sarge
regrets past actions or he wouldn’t have been so forthright with the
information.”

“You two keep talking
circles around the issue. Spit it out, Bryce.” Sarge sounded as if he’d had
enough. Katy clamped her lips together and turned her head away. Let them talk
about her. She didn’t care anymore.

“Katy’s been getting
some nasty mail. She claims the letters started about June. Several had an
Oresonville postmark and all said the same thing. Leave Denver or else. When I
showed up at her house, someone threw a rock through her window with the same
message attached. I chased the young man, but he eluded me. Later, I found the
little rascal. He’d been paid by James Latham.”

“Bryce, you don’t
have to say any more.” Kaitlin snapped her gaze to his.