kate storm 04 - witches dont back down (18 page)

Morgan, of course, couldn't think of anything else.

"I'll call Lolly and make sure we are on the list." She sighed happily.

The karaoke list. There were so many people who wanted to sing, Lolly had a waiting list.

I groaned.

It's not that Morgan takes Morgause lightly. She doesn't. Morgan tried for centuries to come up with a way to destroy her.

And along the way, she too learned to live with the constant threat of Morgause. Hunt her sister, research a way to defeat black magic, find a person or two to nibble on. Life goes on.

Even for the undead.

And I couldn't begrudge Morgan her newest hobby.

She's my UDBF and I fully support her.

Okay.

Fine.

I totally begrudged the whole idea of karaoke. I hated it. I couldn't even lie to myself about it.

Karaoke has no redeeming qualities what-so-ever.

I still loved Morgan.

"I think we should sing ’The Monster Mash’ this time."

"Morgan." I tried to be firm. "The important thing is to find out if anyone has seen Morgause."

"Chicky, I’ll be able to find out what we need to know shortly after we arrive. We'll have plenty of time for karaoke."

I groaned.

****

Ash rolled to a stop at the red light.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"Kate."

"Don't say it." I held up a hand.

For a moment, I almost thought he wouldn't bring it up. I should have known better.

We'd left my aunt's house barely two minutes ago. We had another ten to go before we got to our apartment.

"You'll be safer if I leave."

Perfect timing for a dominant, protective demon.

"I'll follow you if you try to leave."

Not so good for a stubborn, madly-in-love witch.

"Damn it, Kate." Ash slapped the steering wheel. "Listen to me."

"I'm not going to listen if you're going to say stupid things." I thought about putting my fingers in my ear.

Incredibly childish, I know, but I did not want to get into an argument now. Not now, when we might have hours left together.

I was going to live and love Ash as much I could for as long as I could.

"It's not stupid and you know it," Ash growled. Orange and red flames popped to life over his shoulders.

"Morgause still doesn't know where you are." He jerked his shoulder. His sin writhed over his skin. "She has a damn good idea where I am now."

I refused to look at him or his sin.

The lines of his sin had always responded to me and my touch. Ever since he'd been hit with black magic, his sin had rejected me.

It wasn't personal.

Logically, I understood that. No one had been able to touch the moving lines and glowing flames.

But it felt personal. It felt as if the part of Ash that had always responded to me and me alone was now rejecting me. Turning a cold shoulder.

Brushing me off as so many had before Ash.

I've been trying really hard not to see it as a part of our countdown clock. I wasn't succeeding.

The scared little witch inside of me was terrified his sin was rebuffing me because Morgause had already scored her first shot in her soon to be triumphant fight.

Ash's sin is a part of him. Naturally, it's going to protect him.

In all aspects. Including keeping him off on the losing side.

My side.

I wished I could put my fingers in my ears and not listen to my internal, rather neurotic witch.

She was worse than Ash.

"You stand a better chance of staying hidden if I leave. She'll follow me. I'm the only lead she has right now."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I can't hide for the rest of my life, Ash."

"Damn it!" Orange and red flames danced down his arms to his hands.

I turned my head away and looked out the window.

A human male in a red convertible was staring at us. His mouth hung open.

I pushed the button and rolled up the tinted window.

If only I could close out the rest of the world so easily.

"Kate, you know I'm right."

"Your seat is starting to smolder."

Ash growled and jerked forward so his flaming chest was no longer in contact with the upholstery.

I pulled my wand out of my purse and cast a quick flame dousing spell.

The smoke evaporated, Ash inhaled deeply, several times and leaned back when the flames retreated to the top of his shoulders again.

"I can't be responsible for anything happening to you." The light turned green and Ash drove forward. "I won't be responsible."

He reached over and picked up my hand without looking.

"I love you. My life has no meaning without you."

I struggled to breathe through the vice grip tightening around my chest. The one that threatened to crush me in an embrace of love and guilt and frantic need.

"I love you too, Ash."

"Then let me leave, let me do what I can to keep you safe."

I turned my hand in his so mine was on top. I brought my other hand over and pressed his large, warm hand between my much smaller ones. Holding onto him.

"Morgause will track you down, Ash."

"I know." He smiled as he said it. In devilish anticipation.

"This is my battle to fight."

He growled in response. The flames rose up higher on his shoulders.

"I can't live without you either, Ash." A stab of pain took me by surprise. I was dealing with the screaming ache in my heart. I thought I had it fairly well under control. I wasn't screaming out loud. I hadn't even whimpered. Then I realized the pain was physical.

I looked down and saw I had gripped Ash's hand so tightly within my own my knuckles had turned white. I tried to tell myself to let go, but I couldn't. I couldn't let go of him. It took a second before I noticed Ash's knuckles were white as well. He was holding on to me just as tightly as I was to him.

I stared at our hands, refusing to let go, stating without words what we wanted, what we needed. The side of love that holds you together while our mouths spoke of the other side that wants what is best for the other person.

It gave me the courage to say what I never would have otherwise.

"I don't know if I can fight her without you."

I try to show the world a strong side. A witch who has been able to put loss and bullying behind. A witch who has built herself up by her own determination.

It's a damn shaky foundation.

I've gathered strength from my aunt's love and Morgan's friendship and Al's devotion.

But Ash has been the one to make me feel as if those fragile sticks I've used are more like thick beams cornered in cement.

I may have assembled my foundation on lies, or what I thought were lies, but through Ash's eyes I've been able to see the truth in what I thought was actually fiction.

"I'm stronger with you."

I hated to say it. It emphasized my weakness. My insecurities. But it was the truth. And I couldn't lie. Not now.

Ash's hand tightened even more until I thought he might break my bones. His strength astounded me.

"So am I."

I jerked my gaze to his, but he was watching the road. Refusing to glance at me.

I looked down again at our hands. Wrapped together. Physically able to say things an insecure witch and a scarred demon could barely put into words.

"Then stay and fight with me."

We were a block away from home before Ash responded.

"All right. I'll stay."

24. Embracing My Lie.

"
Show no fear," I repeated aloud.

"Lie if you must." I highlighted the words. "Embrace the lie."

"Did you say somethin', Doll?" Al called out.

"No." I thought the TV would drown out my voice. Actually, I hadn't thought anything would have interrupted his fascination with the wolf show. Al had been fully engrossed when Ash and I had gotten home a little while ago. It was the show about the wolf versus the mountain lion. The producers of the show had created 3D models of each animal.

I'd caught a glimpse of the wolf dodging a vicious blow and the mountain lion rolling off balance when I'd walked by. Al had grunted, "Sucker." 

I'd kept going to my porch. I assumed they added bloody special effects, too.

Ash had gone back out to pick up dinner.

He'd kissed me hard before he left.

We needed some time to regroup by ourselves. At least I did.

I'd been incredibly close to melting into a pool of absolute uselessness after our conversation in his truck.

Honestly, a matchmaking witch should not be surprised by love and its amazing depths.

But I've been faking it and hoping I would make it for so long, I sometimes forgot I wasn’t totally faking it anymore.

The new realities of my life trickle in rather slowly.

When Ash mentioned dinner and going out to pick it up, I hadn't offered to go with. My plan was to gain control over my emotions and present a somewhat together witch, not a weeping hot mess of one by the time Ash returned. I'd given up on the idea of a totally together one because, really, that was just asking too much of a witch.

I had a little more than an hour before Ash and I planned to meet Morgan. And Drake. And Désirée Norma-Sue and Phil.

Now that we were talking
Got Fangs?
everyone wanted to meet up.

Lolly, the owner, almost pleaded with Phil to make an appearance. "Ban shman," he said. "I'll keep the back door open, and I'll have a car ready in case the police show up."

Désirée Norma-Sue sent me the entire conversation via text. She was thrilled with Phil's popularity, the knowledge that Lolly was willing to break the rules for them and the idea of a get-away car.

Al had decided to stay home and watch his wolf shows. It was a full-on marathon and he'd discovered the timer had been deleted.

And we couldn't find the remote to reset the recordings.

My bad.

I'd "find" it in my underwear drawer tomorrow morning sometime.

I didn't feel guilty. Not even a smidgen.

Morgause was desperate and getting closer. Al would be safest at home and away from Ash's sin.

The damn thing was going to draw Morgause to us like a lodestone.

Ash had added extra knives and a big-ass sword he strapped to his back before he put on his jacket to go get our food.

I had a wand in my purse, one in a lined pocket in my left biker boot and a small one tucked away in my bra.

Weapon wise, we were about as ready as we could be. Mentally . . . That's always the question, isn't it?

Ash and I had agreed we would face Morgause together. But he was still battling his need to protect me. And I was still battling my insecurities.

And damn do I have a lot of them.

So now I was reading Charles Clayton's self-help books. Actually, I was just skimming them. I didn't have time to read them.

I was searching for the parts I'd heard Mr. Clayton discuss at his book reading.

The parts that made sense to me.

I'd come back and read the sections on "Seven Steps To A New And Improved You" and "Methods For Inner Peace" later. If I had a later.

Right now, I planned to embrace my lie.

I could defeat Morgause. I would defeat Morgause. I had the skills and the power necessary to face off against her in a fight.

I refused to acknowledge any part of my psyche that said otherwise.

I could defeat Morgause.

I would defeat Morgause.

I'd repeat it as many times as necessary for it to be my new truth.

"You all right out here, Doll?" Al asked.

I looked down. He stood next to my ankle, staring up at me with a slightly puzzled look in his bulging brown eyes.

I'd been so engrossed in repeating my mantra, I hadn't heard him come out onto the porch.

"I'm fine, Al." I picked him up and set him on my lap. "I thought you were watching your show."

"Commercial break."

I nodded and stroked his little back. Al has the smoothest black fur. It's soft and slick and it calms us both when I pet him.

"Al." I paused for a moment and gathered myself. I didn't want to fall apart again, but there are times when things need to be said.

"Yeah, Doll?" Al stood up on his back legs and placed his front legs on my breasts. "Ya sure you're all right? Ya got a funny look in your eye."

I kissed his head.

I wasn't going to tell him about my growing sense of urgency. He'd worry and he'd insist on going out tonight to keep me safe.

I wanted him safe.

"You know how much I love you, don't you?" I cupped his face gently between my hands.

"Course I do, Doll. I love you, too." He blinked his wet eyes.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I wish . . ." I wished for a lot. For Al to find someone to love. For him to be safe. For Ash and my aunt and Morgan to be safe. To not be cursed. I wished I could hug my mother one last time.

I shook my head. I could wish all I want. I'd still end up back in reality.

I settled on, "I want you to be happy, Al. Will you promise me that?"

"Doll, I am happy. I've always been happy with you."

I pulled him in close while I blinked my eyes.

"Life's too short to be otherwise," Al said into my throat.

A warm little tongue licked me under my jaw.

"Now, why don't ya come inside and watch a show. Cause you're startin' to worry me." Al arched his tiny head back and licked me on the tip of my nose. "Maybe ya need to unleash your inner beast."

I looked into his bulging brown eyes. The eyes of a hitman who'd been reduced to a Chihuahua. And remained undefeated.

I set down the self-help book.

Al was right. If I had a crazy strong inner witch, now was definitely the time to let her loose.

It sure as hell couldn't hurt.

25. Hot Demons.

The front door opened. "I've got dinner."

I heard Ash pause in the doorway to the living room. "Where's Kate?"

"She's in the kitchen. She couldn't take the blood," Al said. His paws made the softest
thud
when he jumped down from the couch. "I hope you got meatballs. I'm starvin'."