Katie Opens Her Heart (14 page)

Jesse pushed open the door. Mabel’s cheerful face was the first one he saw. She was looking up at him from her usual place at the table. Around Mabel were all of the others, waiting patiently. The steaming meal was sitting on the table in uncovered dishes. At the end of the table, opposite his place, right where Millie had always sat, was Ruth, her face beaming. No schoolbooks were in sight.

“
Daett
!” Mabel jumped to her feet. “We were waiting for you! I was about ready to go check where you were. Supper’s getting cold.”

Jesse looked around, his mind whirling.

“
Ach
, of course, I’m forgetting myself.” Ruth stood. “I know my being here for supper is unexpected, Jesse. But the children invited me to stay, and I couldn’t resist. What a lovely family you have! And it’s a lonely house I return to at nights, with not one smiling face to warm my heart. You can see, I’m sure, why I accepted.”

“
Yah
, I guess,” Jesse mumbled. What else was there to say with the eager faces of all his children looking at him? Ruth was still on her feet, waving her hand around as if she were at the schoolhouse door directing him over to speak with her.
This is my place
, Jesse told himself.
I need to seize control
.

“Your children are just the sweetest, Jesse,” Ruth gushed. “You’ve done such a
wunderbah
job of raising them. How can you manage so much? And Mabel! She’s almost grown up, I do declare. Carolyn, of course, I see in school every day, and she’s also so mature. And your two oldest…Jesse, why I would have passed out to see such handsome men in my younger dating days.”

Willis turned bright red, Jesse noticed. Well, it would serve them all right to taste a little embarrassment.

“And now they’ve invited me for supper.” Ruth had barely stopped for breath. “I get to eat food I didn’t have to fix! I do declare, it’s been
years
—in fact, not since I left home to marry Homer—since anyone prepared such a meal for me. Mabel wouldn’t even allow me to lift a finger to help. I sat right there in the living room and worked with little Joel and his reading lessons until a few minutes ago when Mabel hollered that supper was ready. You don’t know how decent and upright a family you’ve raised, Jesse.”

Jesse gave an inward sigh and motioned for Ruth to be seated. The woman was here, and the food was getting cold. There was only so much a man could do. He sat down, said “Let us pray,” and bowed his head. “Our gracious heavenly Father, we come at this evening hour to give You thanks for Your many great and kind blessings toward us. You have given us another sunny day in which to work, and You have blessed all of us with healthy bodies and sound minds. We ask for Your mercy to soften our hearts toward the weaknesses of others, even as You give us mercy for our many shortcomings. Bless now this meal which Mabel has prepared. I know she has worked hard, as have the other children. They all seek to live lives that are pleasing to You. Be with us the rest of the evening and for the night’s rest that lies before us. Keep us safe in Your arms so we may awaken to a new morning to partake again of Your grace. Amen.”

“Amen,” Ruth added after him, her voice seeming to echo in the kitchen.

Jesse stared at Leroy, who was grinning from his place on the back bench. The boy sobered when he saw his father looking at him.
At least he still has respect for me
, Jesse thought. But if he didn’t get on his toes soon, Ruth was going to leave him as plucked as a molted hen. What had gotten into the woman? She clearly planned to take over the house first…and from there probably go for his heart. Right now the woman was cooing to little Joel as she measured out his mashed potatoes.

“So how much do you want, sweetie pie?”

Joel was wiggling from head to toe, his face aglow with happiness. He hadn’t had this much attention in a long time, which was obviously the effect Ruth was after. Even Leroy was patiently waiting while Ruth dished out Joel’s small portion. Under normal circumstances, Leroy would have lunged across the table at the first sign his food was being delayed.

“And here you are, Carolyn.” Ruth passed on the dish, still cooing.

Jesse noticed that Ruth hadn’t taken any potatoes for herself. She would wait until last, he figured, to make the best impression possible. And from the look on Mabel’s face, the gesture hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Mabel leaned across the table. “
Nee
, Ruth. You take some first. You’re our visitor.”

“I can easily wait till last,” Ruth said, batting her eyes. “You just go on as if I weren’t here. I want to make sure there’s enough for everyone.”

“Come on, take some,” Mabel insisted, not backing down. “There’s enough.”

“Well, if you insist,” Ruth said with a smile.

Jesse had enough of this. He grabbed the gravy bowl in front of him. “Okay, everybody, pass things around like normal. I’m hungry, and we don’t have to do everything proper tonight just because we have a visitor. You know you don’t act this way when we’re by ourselves.”

Did the children know what was going on here?
Nee
, probably not. They wouldn’t see a fly if it buzzed in front of their eyes. Jesse suppressed a sigh. Perhaps his quest for Emma was wrong. Maybe he should allow Ruth to take over. There certainly would be no need of a long courting period. He wouldn’t need to make fruitless trips over to another woman’s place. Here was a future
frau
all packaged and ready to go. All he had to do was accept the gift.

“Come on,
Daett
! Don’t look so sober,” Mabel said, interrupting his thoughts. “It has been a
gut
day.”

Jesse smiled a little. “
Yah
, even with the little
kafuffle
we had with Joel this morning.”

“
Ach
, that,” Mabel said, as if such a thing were no longer even worth considering. “I’m sure Joel learned his lesson. At least he didn’t come home with grass stains on his pants today.”

“How did you manage that?” Jesse asked, glancing at Joel who was still grinning.

“I didn’t play outside today,” Joel proclaimed. “I stayed inside so I wouldn’t get my pants dirty.”

“See!” Mabel patted Joel’s head. “He’s learning fast.”

Jesse laid down his spoon. “Now wait a minute. Since when is it good for little boys to stay inside during recess? Joel, you should be outside playing with the others.”

“I didn’t want to get my pants dirty,” Joel protested. “Mabel gets angry when I do.”

“Well, Mabel will just have to get upset,” Jesse said. “You need to go out and play. It’s not good for little boys to be inside all day.”

Jesse waited, expecting Joel to glance at Mabel for approval. Instead, Joel looked over at Ruth. “You told me not to go out and play so Mabel wouldn’t be angry.”

Ruth smiled, stroking Joel on the head. “That’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong by obeying me, Joel. I’ll talk to your
daett
after supper and explain things to him. But maybe tomorrow you should go outside.”

“Okay.” Joel turned back to his supper. “I like to play outside even if I do get grass stains on my pants.”

Ruth had the decency to turn a little red, Jesse noticed. He ignored her for the rest of the meal, although the children chatted with her. When they were finished eating, Ruth jumped up and started clearing the table.

Jesse interrupted her. “Come, Ruth. We need to talk. The girls can clean the table.”

“But they’ve worked so hard making supper,” Ruth said. “I can’t just walk out and leave them with all of this.”

“Please,
Daett
,” Mabel said, her eyes begging his approval. “We do need help. And I’m tired after all the fuss we had today.”

Jesse thought for a moment. Were Ruth’s charms already working on him like they were on the children? Something certainly was. He had no answer to give but
yah
. Mabel did deserve the help, and, truth be told, he really didn’t want to speak with Ruth. He had a good idea how that conversation would go.

“Why are you tormenting me, Ruth?” he would ask. She would look shocked and proclaim she was only doing her duty.

“I’m not going to marry you,” he would say. She would turn white and say she’d never meant to imply such a thing. How could he even think that of her?

“Okay,” Jesse finally said out loud. “I have some chores to finish in the barn.” He rose and headed out the washroom door. He was soon in the barn busying himself by throwing down hay from the mow. Some twenty minutes later he heard Ruth’s buggy rattle down the lane.

Chapter Seventeen

Katie crept down from her room on the night of the Mennonite birthday party. She’d changed into her blue Sunday dress. Her hands were trembling as she paused to listen at the bottom of the stairs.
Mamm
was still in the kitchen putting away the last of the supper dishes. There were sharp clinks coming from around the corner, as if plates were being placed together carelessly. This was not going to be easy.
Mamm
hadn’t smiled all evening. But neither had she delivered a lecture. Katie decided a lecture would have been easier to bear than the silence. She hesitated by the kitchen doorway. This was so heartbreaking.
Mamm
had once been her best friend in the world. Katie wanted to rush into the kitchen and take
Mamm
into her arms. But crying on
Mamm
’s shoulder wouldn’t do much
gut
now.

Mamm
wanted her to end this mad idea of attending a Mennonite youth gathering on the basis of an invitation from a boy she’d only met once. Life could return to normal,
Mamm
had said, if they could go on like before. If Katie would only repent of this grave sin. But,
nee
, that wouldn’t happen. Katie felt she had to go with Esther at this point.

As Katie turned away from the kitchen,
Mamm
picked up on her presence. “Katie, will you come here a minute?”

“
Yah
.” Katie hesitated before turning back. She stood in the doorway. When
Mamm
turned, her eyes showed signs of crying. Katie decided if she didn’t sit down her legs would collapse. She pulled out a chair and sat by the table.
Mamm
hardly ever cried. And here she was the one bringing
Mamm
this heavy sorrow.

Mamm
approached and pulled out her chair. “Won’t you consider changing your mind, Katie?”
Mamm
took Katie’s hand. “All you have to do is tell that Mennonite girl you’ve changed your mind. I don’t think
Daett
would have liked this.”

“They’re expecting me.” Katie didn’t meet
Mamm
’s eyes. It wasn’t right for
Mamm
to bring up memories of
Daett
at this moment.

Mamm
stroked her hand. “They have plenty of other young people to attend their party. I only have you, Katie.”

Katie sprang to her feet. “
Mamm
, I love you, but I have to do this. I don’t know exactly why or what it means, but I can’t go on living like we are. I want something more. I don’t know what that is or if I will find it tonight at this gathering, but I have to go.”

“
Nee
, you don’t
have
to go. No one is forcing you.”
Mamm
’s eyes searched her face.

“No,
Mamm
, it’s not like that. Something inside of me is…well…changing. I can’t explain it.”

“You’re going because some boy paid you attention.”
Mamm
reached up to pull Katie back down in her chair. “Do you know how empty that will be in the end?”

Katie looked away. That she should wish to be noticed was an awful thing, but it was true. She
had
enjoyed being noticed by Roy Coblenz.

“It’s true, isn’t it?”
Mamm
persisted.

“
Yah
,” Katie admitted, not looking up. “Why is it wrong to want a man’s love?”

“We’ve been through this before.”
Mamm
’s voice was earnest. “This will bring you nothing but trouble, Katie. I know because I’ve been there.”

“And you want us to go on living like we are now—just the two of us?”

Mamm
nodded.

“I can’t!” Katie protested. “How can I? I wasn’t made to live isolated. I want someone to love. I want a husband,
Mamm
. Is that a sin? I want children. Don’t you want grandchildren? How can that be wrong?”

“Katie, the things you want most, you won’t find with the Mennonites.”

“So where am I supposed to find them? Here? The Amish boys around here don’t notice me. They think of me merely as your daughter…or the weird girl. That won’t change anytime soon. Once our people get something into their heads, you know there is no getting it out.”

“Katie, Katie!”
Mamm
said. “You’re talking wild things. So what if our people think we’re nothing. That is
Da Hah
’s will for us. We can be happy together.”

“I can no longer be happy living like this.” Katie rose again. “I’ve already seen too much,
Mamm
. There’s a world out there you’re missing out on, and I don’t want to live that way.
Da Hah
is helping me by opening doors. I have prayed about this,
Mamm
.”