Keep Her (45 page)

Jackie rubbed her hands together in obvious anticipation. “Ooooh, I like the sound of this. Let’s pick one. Or should we wait for the rest of the girls to stop flirting with the bartender and get back here with the drinks?” I glanced over to the bar and sure enough the rest of the bridal party was there laughing it up with one of the workers. Before I could say anything, Jackie pointed across the room. “What about that guy over there?”

I looked across the dim bar to the wine-colored, velvet banquettes, where an attractive man sat pondering the wine list. “You know I’m not into blonds. Two blonds together, can you imagine? How would we ever figure out what body parts go where?” I batted my eyes feigning innocence.

Jackie chuckled at my lame attempt at a joke, while I continued my inspection of our fellow patrons. Not much to choose from, which was disappointing. On the one night I’d decided to let loose a little, there wasn’t anyone worth letting loose with. I certainly wasn’t interested in the middle-aged man with the small paunch and a wedding ring, trolling for women at the bar. Or the work-obsessed Wall Street type with the suspenders over his dress shirt who didn’t seem to be letting his friends get a word in edgewise. And the artsy guy was too outside the box. His bright red jeans, painted on his ass, looked like they’d been dragged behind a bus. But this was New York City—they probably cost a small fortune.

I scrunched my face up in distaste then turned in the other direction and locked gazes with a set of piercing blue eyes. The wall sconces and the lighted glass behind the bar offered the only illumination in the room, but it didn’t matter. I could see from here—this guy was smokin’. And not like a ‘let’s cook some marshmallows over the fire’ kind of smokin’. He was three-alarm blaze, call-in-the-water-bombers smokin’.

I swallowed, my lips parting while my eyes took in his wholly male presence. He was standing beside a table, and his tailored grey suit hugged his body—a body that sure as hell had spent a lot of time at the gym. His dark hair had a slight wave to it and brushed the top of his back collar.

I held his gaze for a long moment as the rest of the people milling about the room seemed to fade away. The reality that I was blatantly staring at the stranger floated into my consciousness, and I cleared my throat as I diverted my gaze. But not before seeing his sexy, lopsided grin, complete with dimple and a perfect set of pearly whites.

Heat rose up my neck, and I traced the condensation pattern of a cup no longer there.

“Wow. He’s something else.”

I turned my attention back to my friend and gave her a weak smile. “He sure is.”

With a suspicious smile, Jackie said, “I haven’t seen this side of you in a while. I have to say, I like it.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that bad, am I?”

“Well, not at my bachelorette party, you’re not,” she said, sliding a shot in front of me. “I still can’t believe you got us in this place.”

It hadn’t been easy. The group of us were only in town for the weekend, but luckily one of my past clients had a connection with the owner, who’d agreed to let us use the table without the usual bottle service requirement. Five hundred a bottle was too rich for my blood—and my bank account. In exchange for the table, I’d committed the ultimate sin and agreed to sell his oceanfront home at a reduced commission when the time came. Tit for tat, that was always the way. But a maid of honor couldn’t put a price on keeping her nearest and dearest friend happy, now could she?

“Bottoms up,” Jackie said, picking her shot up off the table.

I fidgeted in my seat, pulling down the too-short hem of my dress. How I’d let Jackie talk me into wearing this thing I’d never know. “I think I’ve had enough for now,” I said and looked over at my friend.

“Come on,” Jackie whined and placed the shot back on the table. “You’ve finally let loose. It’s my bachelorette party… please?”

“Don’t bat those eyes at me.”

Jackie continued to give me her best version of a puppy-dog face, which in her inebriated state more closely resembled a botched Botox job.

I laughed. “You were always the noceur not me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Alright word nerd, none of that tonight. I plan to have
way
too many drinks in me to try and figure out what the hell you’re saying.”

I shook my head and gave her a cheeky grin, knowing I’d used the word purposely just to bait her. I’d had a thing for words as long as I could remember. I loved discovering rarely used words, but my absolute favourite was finding words in other languages that had no English equivalent.

Jackie didn’t share my love for all things literary. But it
was
just like my free-spirited friend to want to crank the party up a notch. We’d met twenty-eight years earlier when we were babies and both our moms had sent us to the same babysitter. I couldn’t remember a time in our lives when we hadn’t been there for each other.

“Fine, pass it over.” I reached for the shot, sure it would be my undoing. “But I can’t be held responsible for my actions,” I laughed. Jackie always did have a way of talking me into things.

I sprinkled some salt on my wrist, licked it off, and tossed back the tequila. Grimacing, I grabbed a lime off the table, put it in my mouth, and sucked. The tequila burned my throat all the way down to my stomach. It was awful stuff, but a welcome distraction from the feeling of loneliness that seemed to have taken permanent residence inside me.

The idea of Jackie settling down still seemed so strange to me. “How is it that after all the sleeping around you did, you ended up being the one to find Prince Charming?” I asked.

Jackie laughed. “I keep telling you, Chloe, all work and no play won’t make you happy. And it definitely won’t get you laid.” Her face turned serious and she bumped my shoulder with her own. “Come on, what gives? You haven’t seemed yourself the past few weeks. It’s almost been radio silence unless I call you. I love that you’re having fun tonight, but I can tell something’s been on your mind. Is it because you haven’t been out with anyone in a while?”

I looked across the room and saw the rest of the girls were now sidled up to some guy at the bar, who looked to be buying them a round of drinks. “God, no,” I muttered. “I haven’t been out with anyone because there’s no one worth going out with. We can’t all be as lucky as you and have Prince Charming rescue us from the side of the road when we get a flat tire.”

Jackie’s eyes narrowed. “And you don’t stand a chance of meeting Prince Charming unless he up and falls on your windshield while you’re driving around town showing houses,” Jackie countered. “I think you deliberately avoid situations where you might meet him.”

“I don’t need to meet Prince Charming…I’m perfectly fine with the way my life is now.” The conviction in my voice almost made me believe it myself—almost. Attempting to lighten the mood, I added, “Maybe I’ll become a nun, be celibate, and live happily ever after.”

Jackie flicked her long, black hair off her shoulder and pressed her lips together, her green eyes unblinking as she stared impatiently at me. “Sounds like a lot of fun,” she said dryly. “Can I make a suggestion? Try having fun for the time being. Find some hot guy, have lots of hot sex, and don’t worry about whether he checks all the boxes on your extensive list of items meant to weed out any man with a pulse. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”

I twisted my lips to the side and pretended to think about it. “Hmm…I fall madly in love with said hot guy, not be able to live without him, and turn into Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction?” I laughed.

“Okay, smartass. Ever the optimist,” Jackie quipped, sarcasm evident in her voice. “We all have needs. And you haven’t gotten laid in forever. Hellooo—it’s called sexual frustration.”

I could always trust Jackie to put it all out there without softening the edges. “I’m not sexually frustrated. They make stuff to take care of that sort of thing,” I teased.

“It’s not the same and you know it. A vibrator isn’t going to kiss you like it can’t get enough. You can’t feel the heat of its skin against you or gaze into its eyes when it’s on top of you, just before it—”

I raised my hand up to stop her from continuing. “Okay, I get your point.”

I had that familiar pang in my chest, a lonely ache coupled with another ache brewing further down as I imagined what it would be like to be with a man again. Having that intimacy with someone would be nice, but some things just weren’t worth taking the risk for. Life had thrown a lot at me, and I’d learned that being that dependent on another person for my happiness wasn’t worth the pain left behind in their absence. My sister was all I had left now.

“I understand,” Jackie looked at me sadly. “After what happened with Jeff, I get it. But that was forever ago. Maybe you could keep it casual? You’re gorgeous. You’ve never had a shortage of male attention.”

I sighed. I was no fool. I knew exactly what Jackie’s end game was. She hoped that if I put myself out there, I’d magically stumble into Mr. Right like she had.
Never. Going. To. Happen.
I just wasn’t that girl who had everything fall into place for me. My past was proof enough.

Jackie’s hand came down on top of mine. “I want you to be happy. I worry about you. What are you going to do once your sister’s moved halfway across the country? I’m concerned about where that’s going to leave you. Ever since Jeff, you’ve kept every guy at arm’s length. And that was years ago. You need a man in your life.”

I gulped. Jackie’s concern was genuine, and none of what she’d said was news to me. I’d had those same thoughts plenty of times, but I kept pushing them away, telling myself I’d deal with them later. Well, later was fast approaching.

Hearing it from Jackie’s mouth brought home the realization that I couldn’t continue to put off dealing with the inevitable—my sister was leaving for college. Dread formed in the pit of my stomach as I tried to picture how I’d fill my days once she was gone. The person who had been my primary focus for the past ten years would soon no longer be a part of my daily routine. I’d taken a chance on Jeff and after how that turned out, well, I’d thought it was better to focus on raising my sister and securing my own future. My love life could wait.

“If you’d walked in on your boyfriend banging his secretary on his desk, you wouldn’t be keen on dating either,” I deadpanned. “But that’s not it…I’ve been stressed out by work. I’m not sure I’m going to meet my sales quota by the deadline. I need that bonus,” I said, massaging my temple. Impending loneliness had been the least of my concerns over the past few weeks. Ever since my Broker’s offer to buy into the firm, I’d been working like mad to make every sale I could at the new condo building.

“Sales aren’t going well?” Jackie asked.

“Well enough.” I shrugged. “Still, I’d feel better if I’d reached my goal already, or if I was only a handful of sales away. That’s the only way I’m ever going to have enough money to buy into the Brokerage.”

Months ago, the broker in my office approached me with the deal of a lifetime. To semi-retire, he was going to need a partner to keep the brokerage afloat on a day-to-day basis. He’d offered me first dibs on the buy-in, saying he’d always admired my “grit and determination.” I was ecstatic, of course. I needed this. I had no college education to fall back on, and years ago I’d grown tired of chasing the next deal.

God, if I could make this happen, it would change my life. It would mean that even after losing my mother so young, I’d have the stability and security I’d always sought.

“You’re a great agent,” Jackie assured me with an encouraging smile. “I’m sure it’ll all come together.”

I returned the smile though I didn’t really feel it. “Thanks, but you’re my best friend. You have to say that.” I let out a heavy sigh, wishing I shared my friend’s confidence, and pushed the feeling down. Now was not the time to reflect on life. I was here to have a good time and celebrate Jackie’s happiness—to hell with my own issues. Tonight was all about my best friend, and I’d be damned if my own problems were going to bring my friend down. Jackie loved a good time, and as maid of honor it was my job to make sure I delivered.

“Enough talk about the heavy stuff. Let’s get back to finding a guy for me to flirt with tonight.”

“I thought we’d already found one.” She nodded mischievously toward the insanely hot guy with the blue eyes.

“Yeah, right,” I scoffed. “A little out of my league, I think.”

“Oh please,” Jackie frowned. “For all we know, he could be covered in back hair and have a small dick.”

I burst out laughing and gave my friend a light smack across the arm. It took me a minute to catch my breath. “You’re horrible.” I grinned at her. “Do you know how long it’s been since I flirted with someone? Maybe I should start with more of an average Joe.”

I was in the mood for some innocent fun tonight. Being away from home and all the memories and responsibilities it held seemed to have had that affect. Even so, I had a feeling any conversation with the blue-eyed stranger had the potential to turn into something not entirely innocent.

“Alright then.” Jackie leaned in to give me a hug as the rest of the bridal party returned from the bar and placed down a variety of drinks and shots. In the spirit of the evening, I picked up a shot of God-knows-what neon concoction and held it in the air. The other girls followed suit.

Smiling at my friend, I shoved down the lump of nostalgia. “I’d like to propose a toast to Jackie and her upcoming nuptials. May she and Rob have a long and happy life together, full of nothing but love, trust, joy… and because it’s Jackie, a whole lot of mind-blowing sex.”

All the girls cheered and clinked the assortment of drinks and shots before tossing them back. Jackie beamed. Whether a result of alcohol, love, or the fact that I was looking to have a little fun, I couldn’t be sure. I hoped it wasn’t the latter or my friend would end up disappointed. Despite what I’d said, I had no intention of pursuing anything beyond a mild flirtation with anyone—blue-eyed stranger included.

Ninety minutes, one drink, and two shots later, I stood in front of the gilded bathroom mirror, mulling over my earlier conversation with Jackie.