Keep Me (21 page)

Showering off the memories of last night, I cringed at the thought of what I almost said. Thank God Marcus shut me up before I admitted to him I was falling in love. But whether the words were spoken or not, the feelings remained the same.

I was falling in love with Marcus Grayson and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t act on it, and I sure as hell couldn’t stop myself from falling further. It was inevitable, especially if I spent more time with him.

Luca’s whining from the other room forced me out of my head and urged me to finish up quicker. “Be right there, Luca man.”

I rinsed the last of the conditioner from my hair, squeezed out the excess water, and turned off the faucet, only to step out of the glass doors to no towel in sight. Where was my head at? Back on that boat with Marcus was my only guess. Even if I drip dried I was stuck in a predicament—I wasn’t about to sneak out of the bathroom in the hopes of not being seen. So when I heard the knock on the door, I nearly got down on my knees to thank the god of impatient morning bladders.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.” Marcus whispered.

Shit!
Had to be him? I guess I had the god of mockery to thank for this one.

“Tess, Luca’s looking for you… want me to take him out?”

“Um, no.” I answered still looking around the bathroom for even the tiniest bit of cloth to cover my soaking wet body.
You’re being ridiculous—he’s seen your entire naked body.
“Oh shut up!” I mumbled under my breath.

“What?” Marcus asked from the other side of the door.

“Oh, nothing. I, uh, forgot to, um… I need a towel,” I finally admitted.

I could just picture the look on his face right now. It almost made me smile.

“You’re naked
and
wet in there, pretty girl? Hold on, I’ll break the door down.”

“No! You’ll wake Riley.”

I heard a thump on the door, followed by Marcus’s hearty laughter. “I’m kidding. I have a key… and a nice, warm towel. Calm your bare buns, I’ll be right back.”

At this point, I didn’t care about the circumstance. I was starting to shiver.

The jangling of the doorknob alerted me to his presence and I instinctually covered my breasts with one arm and my crotch with the other hand.

The door opened and closed quickly—this time with Marcus on the same side as me. “Morning, beautiful.” He stared at me, hanging the towel from his index finger.

I lunged for it, opting for the lesser embarrassment of bare breasts, but he pulled back, teasing me.

“Not so fast. This is a pleasant morning surprise. You know I have to take advantage of gifts such as these.”

“Marcus, Luca’s whining. Please. Towel.”

“How bad do you want it?” He smirked.

“Bad.”

“And what are you willing to do to get it?” He licked his lips.

I walked closer to him, pressed my wet, naked body against him and spoke, deadpan, “Scream at the top of my lungs for help.”

I felt his chest rise and fall with laughter as he wrapped the towel around me. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

I swathed myself tighter in the warm, plush cotton, tucking it under my arms and around the front of me, all the while ignoring the bathroom intruder and how my skin tingled for his touch being naked so close to him.

“Seriously, though, good morning, pretty girl.” He came up behind me, enveloping me in the warmth of his protective arms and kissing my neck. I leaned into him, allowing the feeling of being his wash over me… for just a moment.

“Marcus, we can’t. Not here. She won’t get it… I’m not in the mood for her to ruin the weekend with an interrogation followed by a lecture.”

We both stared in the mirror, each of us looking at the other for answers. “So I can’t tell her you’re my girl?”

Was I his girl? Is that how he saw me? Because I wanted to be his girl. God, I was turning into mush in his arms. I nearly caved, but then reality set in. “Please. Let’s not complicate it or put labels to it. How about we just take it slow?”

His eyes lit up with hope. I really did want to try. “Really? You mean that?” Wet strands of hair were still plastered to my neck and face. He swiped them away, kissing the back of my neck and then nipping my ear.

Legs, don’t fail me now.

I regained composure and spun around to face him. He was truly gorgeous—tousled bed-head, bronzed skin accentuated by swirls of ink, and those damn pajama pants hanging from his hips that way. Irresistible. “Yes, but I still don’t want to tell Riley.”

He bit his lip and sucked in a breath. I hoped I didn’t bruise his ego.

“Can you respect that? Understand that I’m not ready for the third degree? She’s intense, Marcus, and I know she means well, but trying to convince her of something she doesn’t believe in… it’s exhausting.”

His hands came up to my face, brushing his thumbs against my freshly cleaned skin. “I can’t argue with you there. But putting on an act won’t exactly be fun… or easy.” At that moment, his morning wood made itself evident against my stomach. Suddenly the thread count of the towel didn’t seem so high. I could feel the awakening of his body beneath the thin cotton, wanting so bad to reach out and touch it, or lick it, or feel it inside me.

“We don’t have a choice. Luca is crying now and Riley will be up any second.”

“Tessa? Where are you?” Guess she already
was
up… and looking for me. “Luca’s crying… shhh shhh little man, Mommy can’t be far. Tess, where are you?” Her voice was getting closer.

“Uh… in the bathroom, Ry. Be right out!” I shouted toward the door and then darted my attention back to the smirking Marcus. “See!” I whispered through gritted teeth. “Now what do we do?”

Marcus lulled me with a soft, quick kiss on the mouth and then backed away. “I’ll hide in the shower. Just go out there and get your son. Divert her attention from the bathroom for a few minutes and I’ll sneak out. Problem solved.”

I shook my head, fingering the knots that were starting to form in my unbrushed hair. “Yeah, for now, but keep it up and we’re gonna get caught.”

“A, B, C, D, E, F, G…”

If she sang that song one more time I was going to bop her over the head with Luca’s toy hammer. He seemed to love Auntie Riley’s pleasant mood, but I, on the other hand, felt resentful… and that worried me.

I should be feeling anything but resentful. With Riley back in my life, a void was filled. I had been friendless for far too long and having her around made me feel whole again. But I was holding back from her—not totally being myself—because I couldn’t share with her all the things I wanted to. Like confiding in her, girlfriend-to-girlfriend, about the guy that gets my heart pumping. It just so happened that guy was her brother, the one she told me I shouldn’t get involved with. And to make matters worse, there were no prospects on Riley’s dating horizon—a very sore subject—so gossiping about our love lives wasn’t exactly on
our
horizon.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch over there, Tess?” she asked, peeking up from her position on the floor next to a drooling Luca.

Your brother.
“Just tired, that’s all. Ry, wipe his mouth for me?”

She grabbed the bib from me and swiped up his mess. “You sure? I’m here if you need to talk.”

It was unfortunate that I couldn’t entirely take her up on that. What I needed to talk about, she didn’t want to hear. “I’m fine. Late night with Marcus at the concert… can’t party like I used to, I guess.” I yawned, making the story believable and then it struck me. “Hey, where is Marcus anyway? It’s way too quiet around here.”

“He went to the store to pick up a few things for a clam bake.”

A flood of memories came rushing back to me.
Mr. and Mrs. Grayson forcing us all to wear lobster bibs, Marcus playing ventriloquist with a lobster claw, and Riley showing me how to suck back an oyster in one gulp.

“Sunday afternoon clam bakes were a ritual for you guys. He didn’t have to go all out… I mean, especially if…”

“No. It’s good to do things that remind us of her. Marcus was the one that kept telling me that. It keeps her alive, Tess. It’s all we have left.”

I wasn’t there for her when her mother died. I was too busy being controlled by Zack, too caught up in my own world to understand that my friend was going through the toughest time in her life. “I’m sorry, Ry. I can only imagine how much you miss her.”

Her eyes turned glassy and her lip quivered slightly, but she held strong and gulped back the hurt. “I miss her every single day, but she’d be happy we were here and it’s all thanks to Marcus.”

I tilted my head, wondering why Marcus deserved the praise. She registered my bemusement and elaborated, “He redid the whole lake house a few weeks ago. Pretty much on his own, too. Dad won’t come back here—it’s too painful—but Marcus felt she wanted traditions to carry on, memories to keep being made. He’s not a total ass all the time.”

I looked down at my son, avoiding eye contact with her. It would totally give me away. “No, he’s definitely not.”

“
Lobsters here! Get your fresh lobsters here!”
Marcus’s enthusiasm rang through the house like a gong. He bounded through the door, past the kitchen, and into the living space holding two squirming, bright-red lobsters with their claws rubber-banded shut.

Luca looked up and immediately flung himself into hysterics. The creepy crawlers seemed to freak him out, so I scooped him up and nestled him close.

“Sorry, Luca-man, didn’t mean to bug you out. It just means more for me!” Marcus marched to the kitchen, where he must’ve placed the lobsters in their temporary holding area in the sink. He came back empty-handed and beaming. “See, little buddy? All gone!”

Luca looked up at him and smiled back, tears still wetting his chubby cheeks. His arms stretched out to his new man-buddy and Marcus jumped at the chance to do some male bonding.

“Since when are you the baby whisperer, Marcus no-kids-for-me-ever Grayson?” Riley stared at the two boys in disbelief. Both of them wore shit eating grins.

“Luca loves me… it’s part of the guy code thing. Right, tiny man?”

Luca giggled as Marcus gave him a mini-high five. “Da-da. Da-da,” he squealed.

My heart stopped. Marcus’s jaw dropped. And Riley might’ve shit her pants.

“Did he just call me what I think he called me?” Marcus’s expression was priceless. Completely I’ve-just-seen-a-ghost, what-the-fuck-just-happened priceless.

I reclaimed my son and gave the best explanation my mind could come up with. “You’re the only guy he’s been around since… since his father. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. Do you, little man?”

I wanted to crawl under a rock and shrivel up like the Wicked Witch of the East did when that house fell on her. Hearing Luca call Marcus “da-da” made me all kinds of baffled. Ten thousand different emotions passed through my veins, my bones, my skin, in that tiny millisecond of time. An unexpected future with Marcus as my husband and Luca’s father flashed before me and made we want to weep—weep because it was impossible and so out of reach; weep because the words had to scare the crap out of Marcus; weep because that made-up, ridiculous picture of our future made me happy. My heart was treading on thin, thin ice here. It was betraying me in ways that shouldn’t be acceptable for any organ or body part.
Damn you, unpredictable, stupid heart. Stop making me think these things!

“Come on, Ry.” Marcus intervened. “Let’s get this clam bake started. Tess, why don’t you and Luca take a little nap? We’ll wake you when it’s time for dinner.”

His suggestion couldn’t have come at a better time, though it pained me to think he was freaking out on the inside as much as I was. Whatever it was, it was the wake-up call that I needed. Off-the-charts sex, incredible chemistry, and an insane physical connection… Marcus and I had all of that going on. But the look on his face when things got serious—there was no denying he felt he was in over his head. How stupid was I for nearly caving this morning? For giving in to the feelings I was starting to have for him? He wasn’t ready and I would not be responsible for dragging him down. Nope, I was on the other end of that once and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Marcus would have to face the fact that the two of us could only remain friends—okay, friends with benefits. No matter what he
wanted
to believe—what he wanted
me
to believe—me and Luca and what we had to offer was way too much for someone like him to handle.