Keep: Romanian Mob Chronicles (10 page)

And when he pulsed a final time and then filled my womb with his seed, I knew I would love him forever.

Later, after we’d drifted off between long, slow kisses and caresses, he turned to me and rested his hand on my shoulder, the idle movements of his calloused fingers against my skin stirring a wave of delicious sensation.

“Last night,” he said, his deep, husky voice stirring sensation of its own, “you stayed up for me. Why?”

I looked into his eyes, felt apprehension spark. I’d been intent on talking to him last night, had stayed up, unwilling to wait for fear of losing my nerve, but his passion and then the exhaustion after had robbed me of my will. And now, I had to tell him. But I didn’t know how he would react.

“Fawn,” he said, expectant, practically daring me not to answer.

“I think… I suspect I’m pregnant.”

My lungs were so tight with apprehension, I had barely been able to get the last word out. I trusted him, but Vasile was still a mystery to me, and I had no idea how he would react, no idea what I would do, where I would go if he decided he didn’t want us. If he’d even let me leave. My eyes had lowered as I’d prepared myself to speak. But I looked at him now, searching his face for any hint of reaction.

There was none.

He got up, stepped into his pants, and pulled a T-shirt over his head.

“I’ll find a doctor,” he said.

And without looking back at me, he left.

V
asile

A
fter I dressed
, I moved through the motions of the day, meeting with Priest, other clans, settling disputes within Clan Petran, but it was almost as if I was in a dream.

I was preoccupied, to say the least, with Fawn’s announcement.

Pregnant.

I didn’t know how I felt about it. At some point, I knew I would have a child. It was my duty to my clan, one I would fulfill. But this, a child created out of desire not duty… I wasn’t yet sure what to think.

But no matter what, I would have to keep them safe, keep the ugly taint of my world from touching them, something I knew from hard experience was a near impossibility. No matter what I tried, how I tried to protect them, Fawn, the baby, would now always be at risk. I could build a fortress, have a thousand men, and if I slipped just once, they would be taken from me.

“What’s the bad news?” Sorin asked, plopping a glass down in front of me before sitting across from me.

Still grappling with my thoughts, I hadn’t yet gone home, wasn’t sure what I would say to her.

“She might be pregnant,” I said on a heavy exhale.

Sorin smiled bright and stood and rushed over, almost tackling me with his hug.

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” he said, slapping my back heartily. “I hope he takes after the good-looking side of the family. My side.” He laughed and clapped my shoulder again.

Then, after he looked at me for a moment, he sobered.

“Shouldn’t we be doing shots? Celebrating? You’re going to have a son, but you look like you just got the worst news ever,” he said.

“This is very serious business, Sorin,” I said.

“Isn’t this the very definition of
not
business?”

“Everything is business, and everyone around us is tainted by it,” I said.

Sorin waved a dismissive hand. “Vasile, you always find a way to make everything suck. You should be happy, thinking about your son and not that other shit. Business takes care of itself.”

“No it doesn’t. And it’s that kind of attitude that holds you back from becoming the leader, the man you should be.”

He frowned, piercing me with his stare, but then he said, “Don’t make this about me, Vasile. Lecturing me isn’t going to change the fact that you’re too fucking stupid and stubborn to celebrate a blessing. Something we don’t get all that often.”

I stared at him and shook my head. “Don’t you understand the risk? They’re targets now.”

“Yeah, so? She was a target before,” he said.

“‘Yeah, so.’ I should fucking punch you,
prostu pulii
.”

“Not if I punch you first. Father, Grandfather, his father before him, they all had kids. This shit works out.”

“How many uncles have we lost?” I said.

Sorin shrugged. “Across the generations. Twenty. Maybe more. But so what? The Feds could bust in here right now, send us to prison for the rest of our lives. Deport us. Some other clan could try to take us out and take control of the organization. A fucking tornado could rip this building to shreds and us with it. So what, because bad things can happen, we run and hide?

“Get your head out of your ass, Vasile, and try to be happy for once. The shit’s gonna touch us, and all of us aren’t going to make it out, but right now, you should be with your woman. Celebrating. Asshole,” he said with a shake of his head.

I looked at my brother with new eyes, wondering when he had started to grow up.

“Perhaps,” I said grudgingly.

He smiled again, reminding me of the pesky, cocky kid that had been like my shadow. “Perhaps?” he said. “You know I’m right, brother, but I won’t make you admit it. I’m going to celebrate,” he said, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

I put a hand on his arm. “Sorin, keep this quiet, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, and then he headed off.

After he left, I thought about what he’d said. Maybe he was onto something. And then again, maybe he wasn’t. But in this thing he spoke the truth. This was a time for celebration, and I should spend it with my woman.

When I arrived home, I found her sleeping. I crawled into bed beside her, wrapped my arms around her waist, put my hands on her belly, and fell asleep with images of my new family filling my mind.

F
awn

“
Y
ou’re driving today
?” I asked.

“Yes. I want to be alone,” Vasile said.

The churn in my gut sped to hurricane speed, and I worried I might pass out from the wave of dizziness that hit me.

I’d been nauseous for a couple of weeks, but this bout was not brought on by what had been confirmed as a pregnancy, at least in my mind.

No. This was dread pure and simple. Disbelief that he was making me do this.

“Fawn, we must go. We don’t want to keep the doctor waiting,” Vasile said.

He looked at me patiently but expectantly, hand on the door handle, and though my mind screamed at me to run, I complied. He got in after me, and then drove off, guiding the car with sure, efficient movements. He was intense as always, but he didn’t seem especially bothered. He glanced over at me quickly before turning his eyes back to the road.

“It’s early, but I wanted to see the doctor before he opened for the day. We’re going out of town because I want this to stay secret. But it will be quick. Don’t worry.”

I gripped the door handle, surprised when I didn’t toss whatever meager contents remained in my stomach.

Left hand on the steering wheel, he reached over and patted my knee. “You’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want to do this,” I said, hating the weakness in my voice, terrified of how he might react.

“Why not? Are you afraid of doctors? My grandmother, she was too.”

I was almost sick with confusion. This was as close to idle chatter as Vasile had ever gotten, and it had me even more off balance.

“I’m sorry, but this isn’t easy for me. I know we didn’t plan it, but I want to keep it.”

There. I’d said it, and I’d deal with the consequences.

“Of course we’ll keep it. What else would we do…?” He trailed off and gripped the wheel tighter and looked at me, pure malice in his eyes.

Then he pulled off the road and parked, expression calm, but the rage that poured off him was palpable.

“Where do you think we’re going, Fawn?” he asked. The low, firm tenor of his voice, the precision with which he spoke only heightened my fear.

“To the doctor. To…”

“To what?” he asked flatly.

“To get rid of it,” I said, my voice trembling with the fear that had begun to spring up.

He gripped the wheel tighter and muttered a low oath.

“You think I’m going to take you to kill my baby?”

When he asked like that, used that voice, those words, I saw the stupidity of it. He would kill everything, anyone, before he would harm his own, and I wanted to curse myself for even entertaining the idea he would make me get rid of it.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sounding frail, pathetic. “I just thought…”

“That I was a monster. That I would force you to…”

He trailed off, and I worried he might rip the wheel right off the car, he gripped it so tight.

“I am, you know?”

“What?”

“A monster. A very bad man. Maybe that’s why you can’t believe me. Don’t trust me.”

His words pierced right to my very core, and shame overtook the fear.

“It’s just that you didn’t seem happy,” I said.

“I wasn’t,” he confessed.

“So you see—”

“But then I thought about it, thought about my son, a tiny little baby with your eyes. I was happier than I’ve ever been.”

He looked at me then and I saw the truth of it in his eyes, felt the fear and shame displaced by love, hope for our new family.

As he turned back to the road, he put his hand on my knee again. I reached out and entwined my fingers with his.

“It might be a girl,” I said.

He just squeezed my hand and lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile.

V
asile

Five Months Later

“
Y
ou’re still here
?” she said when she woke.

“Yes,” I replied, choosing not to say I’d found it harder and harder to be away from her, that seeing her first thing, her body soft and ripe with my child, her eyes bright with affection was the fuel I needed to get through the hours that would pass before I saw her again.

She kissed me, her touch still sweet, almost shy, but her comfort with me real. Her eyes darkened with something but she smiled it away.

“I guess I should get up. I’m seeing Esther today.”

“Wait,” I said, and she paused and looked at me. “What were you just thinking?”

Her smiled dropped an increment, but I didn’t press, just waited.

“I just… That day. Why did you…?”

“Take you?” I asked.

She nodded.

I’d considered that question a thousand times and had finally settled on an answer. “You reminded me of someone. My turn,” I said.

She nodded again.

“How did you find him?”

She chuckled grimly. “You mean how was I stupid enough to get captured by him? To allow myself to be broken by him?”

“Fawn—”

She turned her eyes toward me. “What? It wasn’t my fault? I couldn’t have known?”

I went silent, but then grabbed her hand and squeezed it, urging her to go on.

“Vanity,” she finally said.

I squinted in question, but she wasn’t looking at me, didn’t see me. Was lost in those horrible memories of the past.

“I graduated high school and I needed a job, decided I was going to be a real professional. I ended up at a temp agency, and they sent me to David’s office. It was his father’s back then, but I didn’t know that, didn’t know anything. Was just a stupid kid pretending to be an adult.”

She looked at me then, but I still didn’t think she saw me. “Don’t know how I caught his attention, but one day he stopped in front of my desk, said I had a pleasing telephone voice.” She laughed derisively. “Pleasing telephone voice,” she spat. “Something as stupid as that, and I felt like the queen of the world. Important. Special.” Her voice went quiet then, and I saw the anguish in her expression.

“He was so sweet, so nice. And then one day he wasn’t,” she said on a deep sigh.

“He hit you,” I said, knowing full well the answer but needing to hear her say it.

“Hit me. Kicked me. Choked me. Whatever caught his fancy at any given moment,” she said casually.

I paused, rage making me dizzy, the desire for retribution making it almost impossible for me to stay still, sadness at what she had lost, happiness at being with her now, making me stay. When I thought I could speak again, I said, “Did you try to leave him?”

She looked at me then, face twisted in disgust. At me or herself, I couldn’t tell.

“I didn’t try. I did,” she said. “Waited until he left one day and then snuck out. Went to Esther’s house.”

She looked at me again then, reading the question on my face. “So what happened?” she said.

I nodded.

“What always happened. I was stupid, let myself get comfortable. Let myself believe that he’d let me go. I was there for over a month, had almost convinced myself I was safe. And then one day…”

She trailed off, eyes turning down, face dropping. “Someone slipped an envelope under the door. There were pictures inside, pictures of Esther, her grandmother, her little brother.”

“David,” I said.

“Or someone who worked for him. Didn’t matter. I got the message loud and clear. I left that very moment, didn’t even say good-bye,” she said. “And he was waiting on me, opened the door before I rang the bell.”

Her voice was a near whisper, and I clenched my fists to try to help bite back the emotion. Whatever she was going to say would not be pretty.

“I was terrified, but he was on his best behavior. Hugged me, told me how much he’d missed me. Had me make his favorite dinner. Steak and corn on the cob. And he sat, drank his wine, and talked to me about everything that had happened at work while I was gone.”

Her eyes were flat now, far too reminiscent of the way they’d been the very first time I’d seen her.

“He finished his last bite of steak, took the last swallow of wine, and then he grabbed the bottle…”

She went silent, lost in thought, but she didn’t have to continue.

“I thought that I wouldn’t make it, prayed that I wouldn’t, but I got better.”

“And?” I said.

“He got worse. I couldn’t go outside, couldn’t pick my clothes, my food, anything. It was awful, worse than awful, and I spent every moment of every day trying to do whatever I could to keep him happy, trying not to set him off. That was entirely a futile task, one that drove me to the brink of insanity. Beyond.”

The dread that had brushed at my mind now gripped it full force. “What happened, Fawn?”

She pulled her sleeve up, turned her arm toward me. I’d seen the scars, but hadn’t asked where they had come from, probably unwilling to consider the answer.

“They’re fading now; you almost can’t see this one, but it feels so big to me,” she said, stroking a finger across the thin line nestled in the crook of her elbow.

“He tried to kill you?” I said, unable to keep the shock out of my voice.

“Every day. But this,” she said, stroking the mark, “this is from me. I decided one day that he would never let me go, and I couldn’t take another day, another second, so I took one of his razors. Did one, then the other, and then I lay there and prayed for death. And again my prayers went unanswered.”

He’d robbed her of her will to live, had broken her precious spirit to the point that death was better than life. Rage, anger, and sadness again overtook me. After a moment, I spoke, “He saved you.”

She laughed, the sound caustic, bitter. “Saved me? No. But he nursed me back to health, smothered me with attention and affection, said he couldn’t wait until I was strong again.

“And when I was, he beat me. Said he was the one who decided whether I lived or died.”

She stopped then, lowered her head, the weight of the shame pressing down her shoulders, her face.

I squeezed her hand tighter, reached up with the other to cup her cheek. “Not him, no one, will ever lay a hand on you again, Fawn. Not ever,” I said.

I held her eyes with mine, hating the sadness I saw there, the disbelief, but I wouldn’t look away until I knew she believed me.

I couldn’t say when the change happened, but she reached up and grasped my face as I did hers, and then she lay a soft kiss against my lips. I stayed still, let her kiss me as she wanted, ignoring the need that being near her always stirred.

She deepened the kiss and ran her hands across my chest, touching me with passion, acceptance, that made me sigh. Then she broke the kiss and stared into my eyes, her own hooded with desire. I almost protested when she turned, but held my tongue and watched as she lay on her side and then pressed her back to me, her ass curving against my cock. I curled behind her, rested my hands on the expanse of her stomach and then moved down to delve between her legs, found the wetness there.

I needed to be close to her, could sense she felt the same, so I guided my cock into her and stroked slow and gentle as I kissed her, let my hands trace her body until she reached a gentle climax that drew my own.

Later, I held her close, listening to each of her breaths and swore I would never let darkness touch her again.

“
L
et
me make you feel good, Daddy.”

The cheap whore shook her huge tits in what David supposed was an attempt to entice him. His dick didn’t even twitch. Hadn’t in what felt like forever, not since he’d lost her.

Not since she’d been taken by that son of a bitch.

The whore brazenly ran a hand across his thigh and waggled her eyebrows. In the club, she’d reminded him of Fawn. But under the brighter lights of his private rooms, the resemblance disappeared. She was curvaceous, though not as much as Fawn. Her face was attractive and objectively, David could acknowledge her features had a refinement Fawn’s didn’t. But her eyes killed the illusion completely. Where Fawn’s had been soft, almost innocent, the whore’s eyes were hard, gleamed with calculation.

The sharp slap rang out, and it was only then that David realized he had reached out. The whore’s eyes widened, then went flat with resignation. She’d probably expected it, and the look in her eyes enraged him. There’d been times when he’d had to hurt Fawn to teach her something, but every time she had been surprised, and though he knew she’d tried to hide it, every time there had been pain.

He missed that. Missed her.

He hit the whore again, this time with a closed fist, the dull sound of bone against bone making his dick jerk with the first signs of life for a long while.

She grabbed her cheek, and David slapped the other.

The whore retreated into herself, seeming to shrink before David’s eyes. That got another twitch and David smiled.

The whore was no Fawn, but she’d do well enough until he got Fawn back.

He punched her in the stomach.