Keeper of the Stars (18 page)

“Trevor?” She slipped her arm through his. “What do you think?”

“I don't know. I—”

She leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. “You can't say no.”

In that moment, he knew she wanted more than he could give in return. It wasn't the right time or place.
And she's not the right girl.
He looked away, over the heads of the crowd, looking—

“Trevor?”

“Sorry, Tess.” As gently as possible, he removed his arm from her grasp. “I'll be going back to the Cartwright ranch with my mom when this is over.”

Disappointment flittered across her face, and he was sorry to be the cause. It had been unfair of him to accept her other invitations. Not so much the game night party, with so many in attendance, but definitely meeting her for coffee at The Friendly Bean the previous week. Not once but twice.

Truth was he'd always been reckless with the feelings of others. Especially the women he'd known. But he was changing. God was changing him. And he was going to have to be honest with Tess. He was going to have to let her know that he wasn't interested in anything more than a casual friendship. No dates. No future plans. At least not with her.

He glanced across the fellowship hall again.

“If you're looking for Penny—” Tess pointed. “She's over there with her dad.”

Surprised, his gaze flew back to Tess. Had he been looking for Penny?

With a slight tip of her head, Tess gave him a knowing look. A look that said she understood something he hadn't discovered yet.

Penny Cartwright? No. He wasn't interested in her. Not in that way.

Was he?

Hillary Mitchell returned to the stage and announced it was time to get started. Everyone began filing out of the fellowship hall, but before Penny, her dad, and Dot Reynolds had taken more than a few steps, Trevor arrived to take his place next to his mom.

And Penny couldn't help it—she felt a leap of pleasure at the sight of him. At the sight of him alone. She hated to admit it, but when she'd seen him talking to Tess, she'd been afraid Tess would join them. And, if she was honest with herself, she hadn't wanted that.

She frowned, bothered by her awareness of Tess's attraction to Trevor. It wasn't as if it was a new awareness. It had been obvious ever since the day Tess first saw him at the bazaar in this very same hall.

Her dad leaned close. “Is something troubling you?”

She gave her head a small shake, hoping to chase away her thoughts even as she answered, “No. Nothing.” She forced a smile as she looked up at him. “It's a beautiful night for caroling.”

“That's what I thought when Dot and I drove into town.”

“What did the two of you do all day?”

“Not much. She and I sat and visited over coffee for a long time this morning. Trevor came over after getting off work at noon. When he and I were done feeding, he took his mom into town to do some shopping. And the three of us had a quick bite of supper before coming to the church. Did you have time to eat something?”

She nodded, not bothering to tell him it was the other half of the sandwich she'd had for lunch.

Outside, the inky night sky sparkled with stars, like diamonds on a jeweler's velvet display cloth. The air was cold, and snow crunched beneath their feet as they made their way to Main Street. The instant Hillary Mitchell, walking at the front of the procession, saw the first Christmas shoppers, she stopped. In moments, the group had formed a half circle, three rows deep, and begun to sing “Joy to the World!”

Penny felt a twinge of sorrow, remembering that last Christmas Brad had stood between her and their father as they'd sung this same song in this same location. But then her thoughts were pulled to the present by a voice she hadn't heard before. A male voice, not overly loud but strong. Rich timbre. Smooth, with just a hint of a Western twang. She guessed who it was, of course, but turned her head to confirm
it. Yes, it was Trevor, and she found herself leaning ever so slightly toward him, trying to hear even better. She envisioned her brother, his arm around her shoulders, whispering in her ear,
“See, didn't I tell you he's great?”
Tears welled in her eyes. Her throat closed, stopping the words of the song from escaping. Thankful for the darkness, she tugged on her knit hat, pulling it lower on her forehead.

As the last strains of the carol drifted upward on the cold night air, Trevor looked in her direction. When their gazes met, he smiled at her. But then he must have seen her sorrow, perhaps even guessed why it was there. His smile faded. She was sorry to see it go. Sorry to be the cause of it going.

Their audience applauded, and Hillary motioned for the band of carolers to follow her farther down the street, looking for more shoppers to serenade. All around Penny, her friends and neighbors talked with one another, their voices merry, befitting the evening and the season. Her heart lifted a little.

“Are you okay?” Trevor asked.

She wasn't sure how it had happened, but Dot and her father were now walking side by side and Trevor was next to her.

“Penny?”

“I'm fine. I was just . . . just . . .” Her words trailed away.

“Thinking of Brad,” he finished for her, barely loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded.

“He told me about this tradition.”

“He did?” It seemed an odd thing for two guys to talk about.

“Yeah. When you're in a band that tours, there's lots of downtime, lots of hours in a car or a bus or a van. Talking helps stave off boredom. Brad liked to talk about Kings Meadow and his family.”

She knew that already, but still she said, “He did?”

“He did. I felt like I knew you and your dad long before I got to meet you.”

She drew in a shuddery breath. “I was so angry at him when he left.”

“Yeah.”

“I said things I shouldn't have said.”

“He didn't blame you, Penny. He understood why you were upset. Really, he did.”

“Don't be an idiot, Brad. You're throwing your life away. All that schooling. All that money to pay for your education.”

“I have to do it. It's what I'm supposed to do, Penny.”

“You spoiled, selfish . . . selfish . . .”
She'd floundered for the perfect word to call him, and when it came, it was one that would have gotten her behind tanned if her dad had heard.

Brad had stared at her in stunned silence for a long while, and when he spoke at last, all he said was her name.
“Pen.”

“You're never going to amount to anything. Not anything.”

She heard the slamming door to her bedroom as clearly now as the day she'd screamed those words. “I was so hateful to him. I wish I could tell him I'm sorry. All of those months . . . I never told him I was sorry.”

“He knew. He loved you.”

Silent tears tracked down her cheeks. Tears that she'd worked so hard to keep in check. There was no stopping them now.

“Come on.” Trevor took her by the arm and gently led her through the group of carolers, not stopping until they were away from lampposts wrapped with twinkling Christmas lights and bright storefronts that invited shoppers to come in from the cold. Not stopping until they were alone in their own little patch of darkness. “It's okay to cry, you know.”

He couldn't have known how wrong he was. It wasn't okay to cry, because there was a reservoir full of unshed tears just waiting for the dam to burst. A sob escaped her, then another. She covered her face with her mittens and sobbed again. And again. And again.

Slowly, tenderly, he wrapped her in his arms, her hands and face pressed against his chest. She hadn't the strength to resist, even if she'd wanted to. His kindness no longer surprised her. He patted her back with one hand and murmured soothing sounds near her ear. There was no reason she should be comforted—and yet she was. The broken sobs began to subside, although the tears continued to flow for a while.

Trevor would have done or said just about anything to help ease the pain he'd heard as Penny cried in the cold darkness. Her sobs had made him feel helpless. Holding her, letting her
cry against him, had been an instinct, but now that he held her, he didn't want to let go.

This feels right.
He looked up at the sky, stars twinkling overhead.
But the timing couldn't be worse.

He was only beginning to figure out a few things about himself and his life and his ambition and his envy and his pride. He was just starting to understand this new relationship he had with God. He had so much more to learn. And one thing he knew for sure. A romantic relationship wasn't a good idea for now. Not with Tess Carter and definitely not with Penny Cartwright. He could care about Penny because she was Brad's sister. He could love her like he would love a sister of his own if he had one. But he couldn't feel anything more than that. That wasn't why he'd come to Kings Meadow. That wasn't why God had brought him here. He was convinced of that.

Penny had grown still in his arms, and he realized she'd stopped crying. He took a short step back, needing some space between them. “You okay now?” His voice sounded cold and unfeeling in his own ears.

He could barely see her face in the darkness, but he thought she blinked before answering, “Yes. Yes, I'm okay now. I . . . I'm sorry I lost control. We'd better get back to the others before we're missed.”

She turned and walked swiftly in the direction of the carolers, never looking back. Trevor wanted to catch up with her. He wanted to apologize, to take her back in his arms. Instead he waited a few heartbeats before he followed. At
the back of the group, Penny slipped through an opening to rejoin her father. Trevor chose a different path to get to his mother's side.

His mom looked up, a question in her eyes. He shook his head and pretended that some of the magic hadn't gone out of the night.

Brad

2010

T
REVOR
R
EYNOLDS WAS THE MIDAFTERNOON PERFORMER
on the last day of the festival. Brad had never heard of him before, but he liked what he saw and heard. Liked it a lot.

What he liked even more was getting to meet the singer. Unlike the other performers before him, Trevor didn't act rushed or disinterested when Brad was introduced backstage. He met Brad's eyes with a direct gaze and invited him to sit down so they could talk awhile. It wasn't long before Brad shared—in a halting voice—his private dream of being a drummer in a professional band one day.

“How old are you?” Trevor asked once Brad fell silent.

“Seventeen.”

“Still in high school?”

Brad nodded. “I'm a senior this fall.”

“Are you in a band now?”

“Only the school band.”

Trevor smiled. “Nothing wrong with a school band. That gives you a different kind of experience, and all experience is good.”

“Yeah, but I can't wait to graduate so I can become a part of something more than that. My dad and sister are all set on me going to college, but I'd—”

“Kid, can I give you a piece of advice?”

“Sure,” he answered with enthusiasm. “I'd love some.”

“Don't skip college. You'll regret it if you do. I speak from experience.” The singer wasn't smiling any longer. His expression said he was dead serious.

But Brad was convinced Trevor was wrong. What difference would college make to a drummer in a country band?

Trevor leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Tell you what,” he said after a lengthy silence. “You wait to chase your dream until you graduate from college. If you do that, I'll make sure you get some auditions in Nashville. If I'm in need of a drummer when that time rolls around, I'll even audition you myself.”

Brad felt a strange sensation shoot through his body. More than excitement. More than anticipation. Something even more than hope. Almost from the moment he'd given his heart to God at winter camp, he'd prayed that music, that playing the drums, that being part of a band, would be God's will for his life. And for the first time, he sensed it
might be. A door had been opened. Just a crack for now, but still open.