Ken Jennings's Trivia Almanac (161 page)

SEPTEMBER 28

551
B.C
.
T
HE
C
HINESE THINKER
C
ONFUCIUS
is born, as calculated by the government of Taiwan, which still celebrates the day as Teachers’ Day.

WISE CRACKS

Here are some sagelike proverbs from another source: the theme songs of 1980s sitcoms. What shows gave us these immortal bits of wisdom?

1.
There’s a path you take, and a path untaken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.

2.
There ain’t no nothing We can’t love each other through.

3.
Maybe the world is blind, Or just a little unkind.
Don’t know.

4.
You take the good, you take the bad.
You take them both.

5.
We’re nowhere near the end.
The best is ready to begin.

6.
Together, taking the time each day
To learn all about
Those things you just can’t buy.

7.
Any time you’re out from under.
Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.
Keepin’ your head above water, Making a wave when you can.

8.
Life is more than mere survival.

9.
This flame in my heart
And a long-lost friend
Gives every dark street a light at the end.

10.
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There’s a face of somebody who needs you.

1967
F
RANK
Z
APPA NAMES HIS
firstborn daughter “Moon Unit,” anticipating the modern trend for self-indulgent celebrity baby names by almost thirty years.

POOR BABY

Name the celebrity parent(s) of these unfortunate tykes.

Easy

1.
Apple Blythe

2.
Hazel Patricia and Phinnaeus Walter

3.
Shiloh Nouvel

4.
Suri

5.
Rumer Glenn, Scout LaRue, and Tallulah Belle

Harder

1.
Kal-El Coppola

2.
Frances Bean

3.
Sage Moon Blood

4.
Duncan Zowie

5.
Jermajesty

Yeah, Good Luck

1.
Denim Cole and Diezel Ky

2.
Tryumph and Whizdom

3.
Speck Wildhorse

4.
Pilot Inspektor

5.
Moxie CrimeFighter

SEPTEMBER 29

1963
M
Y
F
AVORITE
M
ARTIAN
crash-lands on Earth.

LOST IN SPACE

What TV regulars hailed from these planets?

Easy

1.
Ork

2.
Krypton

3.
Vulcan

Harder

1.
Gallifrey

2.
Melmac

3.
Remulak

Yeah, Good Luck

1.
Quadris

2.
Zetox

3.
Decapod 10

1967
T
HE
BBC
AIRS
a radio play of
King Lear.
Part of Act IV, Scene VI, will go out to an unexpectedly large audience when the Beatles, recording at Abbey Road, overdub four lines of the Bard’s dialogue onto the end of “I Am the Walrus.”

SHUT UP AND SING

Which songs feature these snatches of spoken-word chatter?

1.
“Hal and his famous ashtray!”

2.
“This ain’t no disco. It ain’t no country club either. This is L.A.!”

3.
“This ain’t rock ’n’ roll. This is genocide!”

4.
“Señores y señoras, nosotros tenemos más influencia con sus hijos que tu tiene.”

5.
“I’ve got blisters on my fingers!”

6.
“Do I what? Will I what? Oh, baby, you knooow what I like!”

7.
“Weddings, parties, anything. With bongo jazz a speciality!”

8.
“Come on, girls, do you believe in love? ’Cause I got something to say about it, and it goes something like this.”

9.
“You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!”

10.
“Yeah, this album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I’d never amount to nothin’.”

1981
T
HE
U.S.
NATIONAL DEBT
passes $1 trillion for the first time. Congress, unaccountably, elects to raise the debt ceiling rather than print a single trillion-dollar bill.

TIDY SUMS

1.
What movie was originally titled
$3,000,
for the size of Vivian Ward’s paycheck?

2.
Who was at first reluctant to put his hometown into his stage name, for fear he’d be mistaken for
The Six Million Dollar Man
?

3.
On what TV show did Michael Larson win $110,237 in a single taping in 1984?

4.
Whose net worth is five multiplujillion, nine impossibidillion, seven fantasticatrillion dollars, and sixteen cents?

5.
What pitcher’s 1998 contract with the Dodgers made him baseball’s first $100 million man?