Kentucky Sunrise (17 page)

Read Kentucky Sunrise Online

Authors: Fern Michaels

BOOK: Kentucky Sunrise
10.59Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
“I went off to college that year. When I went home for breaks or holidays I would hear the rumors. The story was some vagrant attacked her in the barn. The second year when I went home, I heard she had left with her baby. I was sick all over again. I occasionally thought about her over the next few years, and she more or less faded from my memory, but I could always resurrect her when I wanted to. I'd get out my book of poems and read them and remember how she looked or what she said when I read them to her.
“I eventually married Allison. We had three sons. They're pretty much worthless, thanks to their mother spoiling them. None of them has ever worked a day in his life thanks to trust funds. I never loved Allison, and I don't think she loved me. Our parents considered it a merger. She died from breast cancer. Everything I inherited from her I donated to breast cancer research. The boys howled and yowled, but I did it anyway. That's pretty much the story of your mother and me.”
“She hates you,” Emmie said.
“Yes, I know. She has every reason to hate me. I abandoned her, left her to fend for herself. I was mean, selfish, and hateful. But, I've changed. People can change, you know. I don't want you to hate me. Do you think we can work through all that? I have a lot of regrets, regrets I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I'd like to try if you're willing. It will be nice finally to acknowledge you. Not having done so is my one true regret in my life.”
Emmie swallowed. She had regrets, too. Regrets about Buddy, about her mother, about Gadfly, about life. She looked down at her puffy hands. “I don't know what to do.”
“Well, I know what you have to do, young lady. You have to get better, and then I'd like it if you'd come to live with me in Virginia. We have a whole lifetime to catch up on. I'd like to get to know my granddaughter as well. I want us to start out right. I think you should tell your ex-husband about Gabby. If you want that horse you love so much, we'll get him back for you. We can train him together if that's what you want. You are the only one who can make these decisions, and they don't have to be made right now. We have all the time in the world.”
Emmie smiled. “Are you as hungry as I am?”
“I'm pretty hungry,” Dillon said.
“They go all out in the dining room on Visitor's Day. The food is really good.”
“In that case, allow me to escort you to the dining room. I'd like it if you called me Dad. I know you have to earn a title like that, but if you can say it and mean it, I'd sure like to respond.”
“Okay,
Dad,
let's go to lunch.”
 
 
Ian Hunter flipped the pages of the Visitor's Book until he came to the name Dwight Holcum. Next to the name was Emmie's signature. Who in the hell was Dwight Holcum? He looked familiar.
He carried his salad and iced tea from the buffet line and settled himself across the room. He deliberately chose a table that would allow him to observe his patient and her guest. He was finishing his tea when Emmie looked up and waved. They were both facing him. He was stunned at his conclusion.
Like father, like daughter.
P
ART
II
8
The mansion had always reminded her of the white-pillared Tara in
Gone With the Wind.
Even the sweeping grounds and the ancient oaks dripping Spanish moss were reminiscent of the movie. Emmie Coleman, now Emmie Roland, was mistress of all she surveyed, thanks to her indulgent father.
She was back in the swing of things, working a few hours a day in the barns with her father's Thoroughbreds and acting as his hostess when he entertained. She was happier than she'd ever been before.
The year she'd spent in the Thornton rehab center had flown by, thanks to her father's monthly visits. He spurred her on to challenge her limits and took great pride in even her smallest accomplishments. These days she had no regrets.
At the end of her stay, with Dr. Hunter's help, she'd made important decisions that would affect the rest of her life. She was comfortable with her new life. If she missed her mother or Blue Diamond Farms it wasn't noticeable to anyone who knew her. She refused even to think about the ugly scene with her mother when she told her of her decision to live with her father.
Her health had improved greatly. Knowing someone cared about her enough to monitor her well-being constantly meant more to Emmie than all the riches in the world. And she owed it all to her newfound father, who was also a doting grandfather.
Emmie surveyed the lunch table, adjusted one of the fine linen napkins before she stood back to admire her handiwork. Lunch was always special for her father because he only had black coffee early in the morning and was starved by lunchtime. A pretty table was something he liked. She always made sure there were fresh flowers in the center of the table, and every single day, when lunch was finished, he plucked one of the flowers and handed it to her with a low, sweeping bow.
They were having potato-crusted salmon, a garden salad, and a fruit compote for dessert. For her brother Nick, who would be arriving shortly, there would be a large T-bone steak and a twice-baked potato.
Nick had invited himself to stop by on his way to visit their uncles, Rhy and Pyne. “It will just be for lunch. I'm anxious to see Gabby and to meet your father,” he'd said on the telephone. She looked down at her watch at the same time she heard the doorbell. She didn't wait for Caruthers, her father's houseman, to open the door; she ran to it, thrust it open, and jumped into her brother's arms.
“Whoa, Nellie.” Nick laughed. “If I had known I was going to get such a greeting, I'd have come sooner. You look good, Emmie. Real good. Are you happy? Don't answer that. I can see for myself that you're glowing and sparkling. I'm happy for you,” he said, hugging her. “You feeling okay?”
“Yes, I'm feeling fine these days. I still have to take medication, but look, I can make a fist again, and my feet and most of my joints are back to normal. I go once a month to be checked from head to toe. Dad makes me go. In fact, he takes me and waits to get the reports. So far so good. What's new with you? Dad's running late today, so let's go into the sunroom and talk a bit. I want to hear everything. I know you didn't just come here to see me and our uncles. What's up? Is it Willow?”
Nick flopped down into a deep recliner. “Damn, you always did manage to home in on the crux of something when it involves me. Yeah, it's Willow, it's Mom, it's Hatch. Hell, it's everything. Willow was picked up in Chula Vista and arrested last week. She was hiding out in Tijuana. Mom's real pissy. Hatch is glowering about Willow and doesn't want to defend her. I'm in the middle of a kick-ass case I know I can't win, and how is your life going?”
“Wonderfully. Nick, I am so happy. Gabby is happy. Cookie is happy, and Dad is . . . wonderful. We get on so well. I call Mom once a week to say hello. She's civil, and the conversation is usually about Gabby and lasts no longer than five minutes. I do call, though. You know you were her favorite, don't you?”
“That was your imagination, Emmie,” Nick hedged. “She treated us both the same.”
“No, she didn't, but it's okay for you to think that. I learned a lot during the year I spent in Las Vegas. I've come to terms with everything. I had bags and bags of guilt I carried around. I tried so hard to be like Mom, I made myself sick. And in the end I managed to screw everything up. I learned something Mom has yet to learn. I love my daughter because she is my flesh and blood. I know that I'm capable of killing to protect her if that need ever arose. Mom . . . Mom used me as her penance for what she thought she did wrong. She took care of me, fed me, clothed me, but she didn't allow herself to love me the way I love Gabby. She smothered all her feelings and channeled them into working like a mule. That was her choice. The mind is an amazing thing. All my life she made me feel guilty. It was like I ruined her life in some way. The way she treated me, acted with me, is the way she treated your father, Hunt. If anyone needs a shrink, it's our mother. Going to the core of your being and pulling out all the
uglies
for someone else to see, in my case, Doctor Hunter, is what it's all about. You talk it through, work at it, then one day you wake up and go, yeah, that's what happened. Then you ask yourself how you can fix all those
uglies.
When your mind and body are healthy, you can deal with anything. It worked for me. I love Mom, but not the way a daughter should love a mother. It's a different feeling. I can recognize the differences in everything in my life these days.”
Nick stared at his sister, a stunned look on his face. “Jesus, Emmie, you just put into words what I've been feeling guilty about for years. I bet if we were horses, she would love us to death. You're right about my dad, too. Sitting in his office, I think about him a lot on my downtime. I feel really close to him there. When I'm sitting in his chair, I remember little things he said, remember the way he looked at me or Mom like he couldn't believe what he was hearing or seeing. Guilt is a terrible thing. You're free now, aren't you?” His voice was so full of awe, Emmie smiled.
“Yes. Oh, God, yes, Nick.”
Nick rubbed his chin, his eyes on his sister. “Think about this, Emmie. Your happiness now comes from your dad. My only happiness was with my dad. Even now, just sitting in the chair that was supposed to be his makes me happy. I know he's watching over me. I know it as sure as I'm sitting here. Why couldn't Mom give us that? Both of us busted our asses to be what she wanted. When we went back, it wasn't because of Mom. We went back because of the place. Because of Blue Diamond Farms. It was the only home either one of us ever knew. Our roots were there. You didn't take anything personal with you that concerned Mom when she booted us out. You took a patch of grass.”
“I know all that, Nick.” Emmie smiled. “Doctor Hunter helped me figure it all out. Do you know what else he told me? He told me it's okay if I don't love Mom. He said if I cared about her it was enough. No one on this earth can force you to love someone if the feeling isn't there. And, by the way, my patch of grass is still growing. I have twelve blocks, and it's thriving. There's a greenhouse here, so it's growing under perfect conditions. Boy, you should see my Gerber daisies!
“Now, what's wrong where Hatch is concerned? I wish you could stay longer. We didn't even talk about Mom's movie.” Her voice was so wistful, Nick hugged her.
“I don't know what's wrong. He's pissed because I can't win this case I'm on even though the other partners agree with me. We never should have taken it on to begin with. He said his firm doesn't lose cases, and maybe he made a mistake hiring me. He said I must have screwed up along the way, but I didn't, Emmie. He's like a wet hen, and now this thing with Willow came up. I'm thinking, and I could be wrong, that things down on the farm aren't what he thought they were going to be, which brings it all back to Mom.”
“Tell Hatch he doesn't have to take Willow's case if he doesn't want to. I don't care if she tells Buddy about Gabby. I'm prepared for it. I told you, I can deal with anything these days.”
“I'm glad I came here. You saved me a lot of money in shrink bills. I'm so glad it's working out for you, Emmie. What are you going to do about Hifly?”
“Nothing. After the race, I'll take him back and put him out to stud. Who knows, I might get a real winner one of these days, one I can train myself. I realized I couldn't yank him away from Jake. The boy needs to do what he's doing, and if I can help, so be it. It's more important to him than it is to me. I know I keep saying this, but I learned how to sift through stuff, to analyze and make the right decisions. You have to look at the whole of something, look at the pros and cons and decide what's best for everyone concerned and if you can live with it, you go for it. Jake is important. If it's meant to be, it will be. Hey, I hear Dad's car. Come on, I can't wait for you to meet him.
“Nick, I know you heard Mom's side. He had a side, too. He loved her back then, but he was a kid, just like Mom was a kid. Kids screw up and don't always make the right decisions. You have to look past all that to the person he is today. Can you do that?”
“You bet! And speaking of the movie, I really wanted to go to the private screening, but my time was just too tight. Did anyone in the family go?”
“I didn't. I had the time but . . . I didn't want to see Mitch Cunningham. Dad was willing to go, but since I didn't know if Mom was going or not, I thought it would be best if I stayed away. I found out later she didn't go. I didn't watch the video they sent me either. It didn't seem like the right time. Too much was going on. Besides, it's all about Mom. It was her story. Maybe I'll never look at it. It did get good reviews from all the women's organizations. It's going to get a nomination. The truth is, I don't care. How about you?”
“They sent me the video, too. Those movie people made a big deal about no one from the family showing up for the private screening. It was in all the papers. Medusa pointed it out to me. She stays on top of stuff like that. If the movie really does get a nomination, I guess we'll be invited to the Academy Awards. I'm afraid that's not my bag either. How about you?”
“Nah. I lived it, so did you. Why would I want to see all that stuff played out on the big screen?”
Emmie linked her arm with her brother's. “I hear the car. Let's go meet my dad.”
 
 
Nealy perched on the paddock fence and watched Jake put Hifly through his paces. He had progressed rapidly, going beyond her expectations. She was almost giddy with the realization. The boy was so comfortable in his skin now. He might be considered a runt by the other workers, just the way they considered Hifly a runt, but he was all heart, just the way Hifly was. To say Jake had bonded with the runt horse was to put it mildly. Hifly wasn't quite as accommodating to her or any of the others as he was to Jake. And Jake loved it.
The fear had left him early on, and from that moment, he took off like a rocket. She hoped it was because of her encouragement and his mother's support. Like Hifly, Jake only wanted to please. He'd never complained. Not once. He sucked up the ribbing, sucked up the early morning hours and all the hard work that went with raising Thoroughbreds.
But more than anything, it was the look in Jake's eyes when he looked around at the lush bluegrass, the paddocks, and the horses. She'd never seen that look in Nick's or Emmie's eyes. Hunt, her first husband, had never had it, either. For sure Hatch didn't have it. Maud and Jess did, though. It was obvious to everyone that Jake loved Blue Diamond Farms with a passion.
She loved it when he came to her for advice, loved it when he asked her to watch a particular video of a jockey so he could learn from it and not make mistakes. And she loved it when he linked his arm with hers, and said, “Aunt Nealy, you're the greatest. If I turn out to be half as good as you, I'll really be flying.”
In the night, in the darkness of their bedroom, Hatch said she was trying to clone Jake to be like her. She didn't think she was doing that, but if she was, it wasn't a bad thing in her opinion. Confidence, ability, and the love of the animal was something Jake had earned. She was free and yet stingy with her praise. They both knew his shortcomings and worked together to overcome them. She must be doing something right because Sunny and Fanny both said the boy had never been happier. His reports to the family were full of love and praise for her. Always in the wee hours of the morning, while Hatch was still sleeping, she would tell herself Hatch was jealous.
In the beginning, she'd had a hard time understanding how a grown man could be jealous of a boy who had the same intense passion, the same intense love for the horses that she had. Sometimes she felt almost drunk with the knowledge that finally, at last, there was someone she could truly communicate with, share the love of Blue Diamond Farms.
She knew in her heart that Maud and Jess were up there somewhere watching her progress with young Jake, just the way they'd watched and instructed her so many years ago.
She had become more and more aware of her age and her limitations. Her body protested every night when it was time to call it a day. She knew she was a disappointment to Hatch in the lovemaking department, and she worked hard to overcome what Hatch called her ambivalent attitude. She couldn't seem to help herself, and she did try, but it had been the same with Hunt. She loved Hatch, but she loved the farm and the horses more. And Hatch knew it just the way Hunt had known it. And, now, Jake knew it, too.

Other books

Pranked by Sienna Valentine
Logan by Melissa Foster
Las viudas de los jueves by Claudia Piñeiro
Senator Love by Warren Adler
NO ORDINARY ROOM by Bill Williams
Hush by Amarinda Jones