Kieran & Drew (23 page)

“What’s with the random capitalization thing?” he asked, not looking back at Kieran but continuing to pick random comic-bookish figures up, studying them before placing them back where he found them. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s cute and a total Kieran thing to do, but why?”

“Um, well, I-I just thought it looked better when I was a kid— more fun. And I don’t like being told what to do or how to do it, so….” “So it’s a nonconformist thing? Like the suspenders and bowties and stuff?”

“I wouldn’t say nonconformist. That makes me sound like I’m trying to make a point. It’s just something dumb that I did when I was younger and still do. People always labeled me as weird, so I just… I don’t know. I don’t like to stick out, but at the same time I’m my own worst enemy, because if someone’s going to call me a freak, then to hell with it, why even try to be the same as everyone else when they won’t let me?”

Drew glanced back at him and shook his head. “You are made of awesomeness, you know that?”

Kieran’s sudden interest in the carpet and his dismissive snort would suggest that he thought Drew was being stupid, but his lips pressed together to smother a smile that indicated how pleased Drew’s comments made him.

“You know, Matt’s brother—you remember Travis, right?”

Kieran nodded and Drew carried on. “Travis would lose his shit if he could see all this.” He spotted something propped up in the corner of his room against a bookcase. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling as it dawned on him what it was. “So ah, what’s that….” He lifted his chin. “Over there?”

Kieran shifted uncomfortably. “That, um, that may or may not be a lightsaber.”

 

Drew raised an eyebrow, enjoying the blush in Kieran’s cheeks and making him squirm.

 

“I’m like… at a hardcore level of nerd-dom.”

 

“Stop that,” Drew admonished. “Hey, is that a Middle Earth poster?”

Kieran looked over his shoulder. “It’s a map; it’s a thicker material than paper.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure what it’s made of, but my dad framed it for me when I was a kid.”

“I may not be into this stuff as much as you, but I did love
Lord of the Rings
when it came out. It was the first film that ever grabbed me, you know? That and
The Prophecy.
” He continued to look around the room as he spoke, and stopped when his eyes fell on Kieran’s computer desk. “Nice setup.”

“Oh, thanks. I got that laptop for my birthday. It’s pretty nifty.”

Drew shot him a look that clearly showed he doubted Kieran’s sanity at calling an Apple MacBook with printer, scanner, and surround-sound speakers
nifty
. “I would never leave this room, if it was mine.”

“Believe me, for a couple of years, I didn’t.”
“So… top-of-the-line stuff to make up for…?”

Kieran nodded, glancing away. “Pretty much.” He shrugged off Drew’s jacket and folded it over his arm. “Don’t forget your jacket later.”

Drew tilted his head. “Hang on to it.”

Kieran’s head snapped up, and Drew nodded before Kieran could ask if he was sure. A small, quietly delighted smile touched Kieran’s lips, and he folded the jacket over the back of his computer chair.

“Could be worse, Kieran,” Drew said softly. “Your dad could ignore you completely.”

 

Kieran gave him a remorseful look. “I know. I’m sorry.” Drew shook his head, dismissing the needless apology. “No, forget it. Doesn’t make how you feel any less legit.”

Kieran took a breath and then moved to take a seat in his large leather computer chair. Drew squawked in surprise when Kieran yanked him close by the wrist so that he more or less fell into Kieran’s lap.

“What are you doing?” Drew laughed. “I’ll squish you.” “What, you too butch to sit on my lap?”

“Fine.” He’d been trying to stand, pulling his weight off of Kieran, but then sat fully in Kieran’s lap, smirking.

 

“Oh
crap
, get off! Get off!” Kieran laughed, pushing at him.

Drew tilted his head back and laughed. As he stood he yanked Kieran from the chair and then pulled him back into his own lap. “That’s better.”

Kieran held the pretense of being put out, but it was obvious to Drew that Kieran enjoyed it as much as he did. “That’s a super-duper, fancy-shmancy computer.” He tickled at Kieran’s sides and he grinned when Kieran began to squirm and chuckle.

“Argh! Stop it!”
“Um, no. Not when you’re squirming in my lap like that.”

“Perv. Quit it!” Kieran choked. He made a quick grab for Drew’s wrists and held them tight. “You’re evil,” he laughed breathlessly. “How much porn do you have on that computer, just out of interest?”

 

“More than you can imagine,” Kieran freely admitted with a smirk.

Drew snorted. “I was trying to make you blush.”
“Well, it didn’t work.”

“No, it didn’t. You’re not all that shy talking about sex. No, if I want to make you blush, all I have to do is compliment you.”

“That’s not true.”
“You have the cutest little butt.”

Kieran let out a flustered breath, rolling his eyes and looking away with a shy smile. “Shut up.”

“And voila! Blushing!”
“You cheated.”
“No I didn’t, you do have a great butt; it fits right into my hands.” “Stop talking about my butt!” Kieran laughed.

“What should I talk about, then? Your gorgeous blue eyes? The way your brow puckers when you concentrate…?”

“Stop it,” Kieran murmured.
“That one, shy smile you have that makes me so damn nervous?”

Kieran gently took hold of his face and kissed him with a nervous energy that made his hands shake and his breath unsteady. He sighed into the kiss when Drew’s hands moved up along his back to cup the nape of his neck, and he melted against Drew’s solid form as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Kier,” Drew murmured, running his hand along Kieran’s spine and nuzzling his nose along his cheek. “Are—are we leading up to something, here?”

Kieran let out a deep breath that wavered, betraying his nerves. He ran his fingers through the hair at the back of Drew’s head and swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, but instead climbed out of Drew’s lap, Drew’s hand following the lines of his body as he pulled away. He stood there, uncertain, and nerves got the better of him. He bit his lip, glanced toward his bed and back at Drew beseechingly, hoping that he wouldn’t have to say the words out loud, because he wasn’t sure he could.

A smile in equal parts tenderness and something else intimate spread across Drew’s lips. “There’s that smile I was talking about,” he murmured.

He crowded up close to Kieran, Drew’s hands going to his hips and then dipping his head to catch a kiss as he walked Kieran backward. They stopped when the bed touched the back of Kieran’s knees, and Kieran ran his hands nervously along Drew’s arms, not knowing what to do with them.

“I don’t know what I’m doing after… after a certain point.” “Me neither. It’s fine, though. Isn’t it?”

Kieran’s face changed and something slid into place in his expression, a realization. “You’re totally terrified.” Despite his words he sounded relieved.

“Uh, well maybe… just a little bit? I’m mostly really happy about hopefully having sex for the first time, though.”

Kieran snorted and dipped his head to press his forehead against Drew’s chest as he laughed. “I like that we’re… people always remember their firsts, don’t they?” He looked up at Drew and fisted his hand in the front of his T-shirt. “They remember always, even when they’re long gone and it was forever ago.”

Drew’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath. He hunched both his shoulders and dipped his head to pull Kieran forward by gently cupping his face into a kiss so hot and deep that it was felt from head to toe.

“Take off your clothes,” Drew murmured, his voice low and his hands already tugging at the hem of Kieran’s T-shirt.

 

“We’re really doing this?”

 

Drew nodded hastily and whipped his own shirt up and over his head. “We’re doing this.”

Kieran watched as Drew quickly stripped, his heart thundering in his ears. When Drew stood only in his boxer briefs and socks, he paused to look at Kieran and his smile disappeared. “You look scared.” His hand reached for Kieran’s cheek. “Have you changed your mind? It’s okay if—”

“I haven’t changed my mind. I’m just… I-I don’t think I ever actually thought this would happen for me. And it’s not only happening, it’s happening with you. That’s just… whoa.”

“O-okay, but… just to clarify, you still want to do it, right?” “Oh yeah.” He nodded straight away. “I don’t even know why I’m still talking.”

Drew grinned widely and then wet his lip. He gently guided Kieran, touching his elbows, to sit on the side of the bed, and then reached for his belt buckle. He glanced up to meet Kieran’s eyes, to check that what he was doing was okay, and Kieran lifted his hips in answer. He pulled at the waistline of Kieran’s jeans, taking the underwear with them, and pulled them down his legs. “I’m so glad you wore somewhat normal clothes today, otherwise this could have been embarrassing,” he joked.

Kieran smiled, letting out a short, breathy laugh, but realizing he was completely naked, he curled his body slightly, sitting back further on the bed. “Now you,” he whispered.

Drew bit his lip, hooked his thumbs into the sides of his boxers and slid them down. He stepped out of them and quickly toed off his socks, and when standing there, completely naked in front of Kieran, he thought he could perhaps understand Kieran’s reticence. They’d fooled around plenty together, first in the storage room and then in the back of his Buick. They’d seen all the good stuff, so nothing came as a shock to either one of them, but they’d always been at least partially clothed, and it was only when completely stripped down in front of one another that they realized they could still be scared of this. Watching Kieran now, Drew thought he seemed flushed and vulnerable.

“Lay back,” Drew whispered, and followed—not entirely gracefully—as Kieran reclined.

It took a moment to arrange themselves, but as soon as they were reclined, skin to skin, their heat pooling into each other’s bodies, they let out simultaneous gasps of both surprise and understanding.

“Oh my God,” Drew breathed. “I had no idea that just
this
would feel so good.”

“Skin to skin,” Kieran whispered with dawning wonderment. He dragged his hand up Drew’s bare back. “Drew, we’re in a bed.” His voice was conspiratorial, as if they were sharing a secret or discovering something incredible that no one else was privy to.

Drew let out a quiet laugh. “
Naked
. In a bed
naked
. God, come here.” He covered Kieran’s mouth with his own, his kiss hot and demanding. “It feels so good to be spread out like this. I love being on top of you.”

“You really like this?” Kieran asked, rolling his hips upward as his teeth tugged at his bottom lip. “Because I sure do.”

 

A noise left Drew that wasn’t so much a groan as it was a garbled moan, grunt, and whimper. “Oh crap.”

 

“Oh crap?” Kieran laughed.

“I wanted to be amazing our first time—I wanted to… you know, blow your mind or whatever, but this is going to be pathetically unimpressive.”

They rolled their hips together, and Kieran dragged his hand up and along Drew’s sides, his fingers leaving red trails. “I had no idea doing this naked and
horizontal
would be ten times hotter.” He clamped his hands down on Drew’s sides, a gasp leaving his lips as they thrust together just dead-on at the same time.

“Kieran… we-we should stop a sec—
ah
!” He hissed, clenching his jaw.

Kieran pressed his lips to the side of Drew’s throat where the skin was already damp and salty. “When you shudder like that? I can feel it in your shoulders, makes me feel amazing. Turns me on….”

“Okay.” Drew pushed up on his arms; his body nestled intimately within the juncture of Kieran’s thighs, hips pressing into hips. “Okay, I need a second to-to….” He took a deep breath and let it out quickly. “God, I thought I’d be so much cooler than this.” He laughed selfconsciously.

Kieran looked up at Drew, at his wide shoulders and strong arms. And he realized with relief that it didn’t matter that he was smaller than Drew, or that he was underneath him. Watching Drew from the exposed position he was in, he could see so plainly that Drew was as affected as he was. He was as vulnerable, eager, and as
in this
as Kieran. There was no top or bottom, not really, because Drew was as afraid as he was. “I have… I have what we need in the drawer—” He lifted his chin toward his bedside table. “There.”

Drew looked at the drawer and touched his tongue briefly to his upper lip. “We’re doing this?” he whispered.

 

Kieran nodded. His chest rose and fell more quickly as his breathing became shallow.

“And you’re okay with-with it being like this?”
“Like this?” Even his voice shook.
“With me… on top of you and—”
“That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Drew let out a sputtering laugh. “
Yes
,” he said, as if it were a ridiculous question.

“Okay, well, me too.”
Drew nodded once. “Okay.”

“Okay….” Kieran snorted. “I feel… given your athletic background, that I should be making some sort of catcher-pitcher, baseball-themed joke here.”

Drew laughed a little, but his throat bobbed nervously as he cut a quick glance to the bedside table, then back to Kieran.

Kieran leaned up on one hand to stretch to the drawer, and he rummaged for a second before pulling out a condom and a small tube of what could only be lube. Looking back at Drew, it seemed unfair to just hand them over when he looked so daunted—horny as hell, but daunted. He left them on the comforter beside his hip and brought his hands to stroke Drew’s forearms, which braced either side of his shoulders. “It’s just us,” he soothed.

Drew’s arms slowly folded, and his stomach pressed to Kieran’s. Kieran ran his hands up along his arms and threaded his fingers through his hair. They didn’t kiss; they simply took a second to look at one another and take in the feeling of allowing themselves to be so intimate and open to another person for the first time. It was Kieran who lifted his chin a fraction, an invitation, and then they were kissing, slow and easy and shaky and natural.