Killian: A West Bend Saints Romance (22 page)

"
H
ave
you ever thought about selling this stuff, Killian?" Lily runs her hand over the saddle I've been working on in the shop, really just a shed beside the cabin.

"If I'm quiet, will the deer come back?" Chloe pipes up, running back outside the shop. Lily and I follow her. My brothers and River and Tempest are gone, so Lily and I took Chloe outside to run around the woods and burn off some of the sugar buzz she got from eating two cupcakes after dinner.

"Maybe. You have to be super stealthy, though."

"What's
stealthy
?"

"Real quiet," I tell her as she tiptoes across the grass, her finger over her lips. I turn to Lily. "I don't know about selling it. The saddle is for Bud down at the bar. It's a hobby. I don't think I'll be setting up a shop."

I don't tell her about the money that Jack left me – enough money that I could never work again. In fact,
that's
exactly what I intended to do when I came back to West Bend – retreat up here to my cabin and fish and build shit.

I should tell her about the money sometime. I know she's curious about why I can come to the bakery and work for nothing. She gets really stressed out about the bakery and money. I could just tell her that I'd take care of her.

That's really fucking presumptuous of you.
That's exactly what she'd say if I told her.

"It's really nice, Killian." She glances over to see if Chloe is looking before she turns to face me and slides her hands around my waist. "This whole thing tonight was – meeting your brothers and stuff. I mean, aside from the whole marriage thing."

I groan. That was embarrassing. I make a mental note to go punch Silas later. "Sorry about that."

Lily laughs. "It's okay. You weren't kidding about Luke being a fantastic cook, either."

"He wants to open something in town, a restaurant. Did he tell you?"

Lily shakes her head. "This place needs a good restaurant, something other than CJ's. Luke should come do a lunch menu at the bakery."

I'm not sure if she's kidding. "Don't joke about that with him, or he'll probably take you up on it. Cooking is Luke's passion. He loves it."

"I'm kind of kidding; I mean, I only just met him today. But a lunch menu could be a good idea. Or more likely, it would spread me even thinner than I am already, so –"

"No
kissing
!" Chloe yells, even though we aren't.

Lily breaks away from me. "Five more minutes and then we have to get going, kiddo. It's a school night," she calls before turning back to me and, with a glint in her eyes, whispering, "After my warden over there is asleep, you can come by and sneak into my room, if you want."

"Yes, ma'am."

Later that night, cradled next to me, she lets out a soft sigh as she falls asleep. This is good, being with Lily. It feels comfortable. But the feeling of being comfortable – happy, even – is a foreign one to me. I've never had that before and it makes me uneasy. It's basic physics – what goes up must come down. If things are good now, they can't possibly last.

* * *

"
L
isten
. It's okay. I'm at the hospital with her now," I say into the phone. On the other end, Lily's voice is high-pitched.

"Why didn't she call me?" Lily squeals.

"Is that Lily?" Opal asks from the hospital bed. "Tell her I can hear her screaming into the phone from way over here and this is exactly why I didn't call her – because I didn't want to lose my hearing. I'm an old woman and my hearing is one of the few things I have left!"

"I heard that," Lily yells. "I'm almost to the store. I'm putting a
closed
sign on the front door of the bakery and I'm coming to the hospital."

"I already put up a sign," I say calmly. Lily has been high-strung the past couple of days. She says it's just because she's nervous about sending off her daughter for the first time, but I'm almost positive it's because she's nervous about her parents coming here to pick up Chloe. . . and meet me.

"Why didn't Opal call us last night?" Lily continues in her high-pitched voice. "I'm in the car on the way from dropping Chloe at school. Is she okay? I mean, how did she break a hip? What on Earth happened?"

I glare at Opal, who waves at me and shakes her head. "I don't need a lecture from Miss Play-It-Safe."

I snort. I'll let Opal tell Lily this story herself. Lily will wrangle it out of her when she gets here anyway.

And she does. Lily barges into the hospital room, heading straight to Opal without so much as a glance at me. "Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me last night? How did you get here?"

"Chill the hell out," Opal says. "In fact, I think one of these doctors here might be able to give you a sedative. Or a tranquilizer. Do they have horse tranquilizers here?"

"I don't need a sedative. How did you break a hip? You're in better shape than I am." Lily looks back and forth between me and Opal.

I shake my head and look at Opal. "Don't look at me. I'll let Opal field the questions."

"Oh, Lord, you're going to find out anyway. I broke it in the shower."

Lily gives us an expectant look. "Okay." She pauses, her hands on her hips as she looks at us. "What are you not telling me? Spill it."

Opal rolls her eyes. "I wasn't alone."

"You weren't alone? What does that even mean?" Lily starts, then a flush spreads to her cheeks. "Oh.
Ohhhhh
."

I cover my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Look, Miss Prude, don't even give me a lecture about the dangers of sex in the shower or tell me how slippery lubricant can be."

I snort as Lily's jaw drops, and then I really can't stop laughing. "Yeah,
Lily
."

"Oh my God, Opal!" Lily looks horrified. "You
what
? In the shower?"

"It's important in your old age to learn new skills. Keeps the brain agile."

"It's important to do brain teasers and games, not have sex in the shower!" Lily looks at me with wide eyes, her face burgundy now, which only makes me laugh harder.

"Well, to be fair, it
was
a game," Opal protests.

"Oh, God, stop!" Lily exclaims. "Where's your…
boyfriend
?"

"My booty call?" Opal asks. "I told him to leave. He called the paramedics last night! Honestly, it's only a broken hip. He could have driven me to the hospital himself, and that's what I
told
him, but instead he called an ambulance. My next door neighbor Martha – nosy as hell, always has been – was standing there in her bathrobe watching as I was taken out of the house at midnight with lights flashing! This is a whole lot of fuss about nothing."

"It's not
nothing
! You broke your hip, Opal!"

Opal rolls her eyes and sighs. "Stop fussing. My daughter is driving up from Grand Junction and you are both forbidden from telling her exactly how it happened. All she needs to know is that I slipped getting out of the shower, although Lord knows that now she's going to think I need help, like I'm some kind of invalid. You hear me? Forbidden."

I mock-button my lips, but I can hardly keep a straight face. "Mum's the word."

"What's the treatment plan?" Lily asks. "Are you scheduled for surgery?"

Opal waves her hand dismissively at me. "They're going to take me up for surgery in an hour and put a pin in my hip. I finally saved up for that trip to Paris I've always wanted to take, and now I'll have a damn pin in my hip and be setting off those metal detectors at the airport. Then one of those TSA agents will have to frisk me." She pauses for a beat. "On second thought, maybe that pin in the hip is a good idea after all."

"Are you sure she's not senile?" Lily asks me loudly.

"You'll remember this conversation when you're seventy-three and break your hip in the shower with that one right there, girl." She points to me.

I lean over and whisper to Lily. "That's right. Someday when we're old and grey I'll break your hip while taking you from behind in the shower."

Lily punches me hard in the arm.

"What?" I ask innocently. "We should probably practice so you don't slip and fall. Practice makes perfect."

Lily's phone in her purse buzzes and she takes it out, giving me the stink eye the entire time. "Hello?" She listens silently, her brow furrowed. "Oh my God. Is she okay?"

Shit. It's something with Chloe.
My heart immediately races.

"She did
what
?" she asks. "Yes. I'll be right there."

"What happened?" I ask as soon as she hangs up the phone.

"I don't understand it. Chloe knows better than that. I don't know what in the world would have gotten into her."

"What happened?" Opal asks.

"I have to go to the school. Chloe got into a fight. She punched a boy in her class."

Oh, shit.

"So… I
may
have had something to do with it," I confess.

"What?" Lily shrieks, then drops her voice an octave as she glares at me. I think her nostrils are flaring. "What. Did. You. Do. Exactly?"

"She hit a boy?" Opal asks. "Did he deserve it?"

"Yes," I blurt out. "Is his name Alex? If it's Alex, he deserved it."

"What are you talking about? Chloe knows better than to punch anyone! This is insane. Opal, I have to go down to the school, but I'll be back later. And you." She whips around to face me. "
You
are going to tell me how you know about this boy."

"The two of you can get right on out of here because I want to watch Maury Povich before the surgery and it's going to come on in less than five minutes," Opal orders. "And if Chloe punched a boy who deserved it, then good for her."

I have to give Lily credit for holding her temper longer than I'd have thought she would have. She waits until we're in the parking lot before she whirls around, her hand on my chest. "Start talking. What did you have to do with my seven-year-old daughter punching another kid and getting herself suspended right before the end of school?"

"She's suspended from first grade?? That's ridiculous."
What is wrong with that fucking school?
"I taught her some basic self-defense moves, okay? How to throw a good punch and –"

Lily interrupts. "You taught Chloe how to throw a punch? Why in the world?
When
, for goodness sake?"

"Hold up now, I'm not the one you should be mad at here. Neither is Chloe. If it's that little shithead Alex that she got into it with, she didn't do anything wrong. I told her the next time he pushed her, that she should push him back. Or hit him. Basic self-defense."

Lily's face is white. "Have you lost your freaking mind? Are you actually insane? You can't tell a seven-year-old to
punch
another kid!"

"He was pushing her around. Alex and Hannah have been bullying her, pushing her and tripping her and stuff. They kicked dirt in her face!"

Lily stops, looking at me with her brow furrowed. "She told you that?"

"Yeah, when we were fishing."

"Why wouldn't she tell me?"

I exhale heavily. "She didn't want to worry you."

"
You
should have told me! Why on Earth wouldn't you tell me?"

Shit.
"I thought I was helping!"

"Helping parent my child by teaching her how to punch someone to solve her problems?" Lily is furious. She reaches for her car door, yanking it open. "I don't need that kind of help."

She yanks the car door closed and then she's gone.

What was I thinking? That I could hang out with Chloe, bond a little bit, and that somehow I'd do the right thing when it came to a situation like this? Who in the world am I kidding? I have less than zero parenting skills. When I was a kid, I gave enough other kids black eyes that even the biggest bullies knew not to mess with my brothers or me anymore. Apparently, that's not how you do it.

I'm left standing there with a sinking feeling in my gut, the sense that everything is crashing down. I fucked up – and I didn't even realize I was fucking up. I thought I was doing the right thing, which means I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.

When it comes to kids or relationships.

I
'm so
angry I think I might actually explode. The entire drive to the elementary school, I'm thinking about how mad I am at Killian. How dare he teach Chloe to punch someone? He taught my kid to use her fists on another kid.

I'm furious with him.

But the anger at him quickly gives way to something else – guilt. I'm angry with myself, because how did I not know Chloe was being bullied at school? She should have been able to come to me, but instead, she didn't want to worry me.

How terrible is that? It feels like I'm the one who's been hit right in the gut. She told Killian instead of me.

And Killian kept that secret for her. He should have told me.

I should have known that getting involved with him was a terrible idea. Chloe and I were doing just fine without Killian in our lives. Sure, I've been having fun, laughing and feeling lighter for the first time in as long as I can remember – and Chloe likes him. But what was I thinking, dating someone who knows nothing about children?

It's completely irresponsible.
I've
been irresponsible.

* * *

"
I
'm really sorry
," Chloe sniffles, her eyes red. "I know you're mad at me."

I exhale heavily. "No, honey. I'm not mad at you. I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me what was happening. Alex and Hannah shouldn't have been doing what they were doing. But I'm the grownup and it's my job to protect you. You're not supposed to handle that on your own. That's why you're supposed to tell me what's happening."

"You would tell Mrs. S."

"So? That's who I'm supposed to tell. She's your teacher!"

"They would just do it more. That's what happened after you talked to her before. It wouldn't do anything. And you get worried."

"My job is to worry about you, Chloe. That's what I do, because I'm your mom. And it's definitely my job to help with this kind of stuff."

"Alex pushed me in the shoulder."

"So you punched him in the face?"

"Hannah said that I don't have a dad because I'm stupid and ugly, and then Alex pushed me in the shoulder."

"Hannah said what?"
That little shit.

"I know it's not true," Chloe says, exasperated. Her eyes well up with tears again. "But it hurt my feelings, and Alex was laughing and he pushed me again and I wanted him to shut his dumb mouth and stop pushing me. So I punched him."

Is it wrong that I know I'm supposed to teach her not to hit other kids, but inside I'm secretly a little bit pleased that Chloe punched the kid who's apparently been tormenting her?

I slide my arm around her and pull her onto my lap, her head against my chest. "You can't go around punching people in the mouth when they say stupid or mean things. Even if you want to. I want to punch people in the mouth sometimes, but
I
don't."

Chloe starts to giggle, then sniffs. "No, you don't."

"It's okay to feel angry and upset, but it's not okay to just hit another kid in your class. If you told me or the teacher what Alex and Hannah were doing, we'd make sure it stopped."

"Do I get to stay home from school?"

I groan. "Yeah, you
get
to stay home from school. They suspended you for three days. That's the whole rest of the school year. That means you're stuck with me at the bakery."

Now it's Chloe's turn to groan. "All day? But tomorrow is crazy hair day." The last week of school is basically a fun week, which means Chloe's getting doubly-punished by missing out on all of the end of school activities.

"Yep. Remember that the next time you think about giving someone a fat lip. And no TV this week, either. Make that two weeks."

"Mo-
om
."

"Don't
mo-om
me."

She sighs, but she snuggles up against me, quiet in my arms. "Are you mad at Killian?"

I exhale heavily.
Am I mad at Killian?
That's a complicated question. "I'm not mad at anyone, Chloe."

"I love you, mom."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"
W
hat am
I going to do there all day?" Chloe whines.

"You're really going to go with whining here, when you got suspended from school?" I ask. "Hanging out with me all day long is your punishment."

"Mo-
om
."

My phone vibrates, signaling a text, but I don't open it because I'm driving. And also because I know it's Killian. Opal's daughter is already in town, so Opal is not texting me at eight in the morning. And I haven't quite worked out what I want to say to Killian, even though it's been running through my head all night.

This isn't going to work.

You made a mistake, let's move on. Just consult me before turning my kid into a boxer, okay?

I'm bouncing back and forth between extremes, and I don’t know which way to go. So I'm delaying responding to the text I know must be from him, even though I'm going to see him in a few minutes and have to deal with it then anyway.

When I arrive at the store, my heart stops. I can't even pull up to my regular parking space on Main Street. A bright blue van is parked outside of the bakery, and Killian stands on the sidewalk, his cellphone pressed against his year, yelling at someone.

I think I'm going to be sick.

What's that saying about bad things happening in threes? First Opal breaks her hip, then Chloe gets suspended. What the hell is going on at the bakery?

I park on the other side of the street, get Chloe out of the car, and take her hand as we cross the road. "Killian!" Chloe yells, running up to him and he high-fives her before hanging up the phone.

My heart is racing when I reach him and I don't know if I want to look inside the bakery.

Don't tell me something happened with the bakery.

Don't tell me. Please don't say it.

"Something happened last night," Killian begins.

My heart sinks.

"What? What happened?" Chloe asks as she darts for the front door, but Killian scoops her up and deposits her in front of me.

"You can't go inside there, Chloe. It's all wet."

"Why?" she asks.

"What happened?" I choke out the words, my head spinning. Everything I have is inside that bakery – all of my hard work. My future. Chloe's future.

Killian grimaces. "It was the apartment directly above the bakery. A pipe burst and—"

"A pipe burst?" I squeak. "Well, it's a pipe in a small apartment. It can't be that bad, right?"

Killian frowns. "It's not great. The owner wasn't home. So it's been going all night."

No, no, no, no, no.

I tell myself to keep calm.

"Can Chloe stay outside with you for a second so I can take a look?"

"They're in there surveying right now, Lily. It's pretty wet. You should stay out here."

Fuck no. This is my bakery, my equipment. Oh, God. All of the equipment that I bought with my business loan. And my inventory and –

"My insurance paperwork is in the office."

"These guys aren't the insurance guys, Lily. I didn't want to go poking around in your things for your insurance policy. They're an emergency crew I called out – it's better to take care of water damage immediately."

"Not the insurance guys," I repeat stupidly. My thoughts are cloudy. I can't quite think straight, not with my head swimming, thoughts flying in a thousand different directions about things I need to do. I need to call the landlord. And I'll have to remake the cakes. A little water couldn’t damage all of the equipment, could it? It's heavy-duty stuff.

This won't be terrible,
I tell myself.

"I can't pay for this, Killian," I say numbly. "The emergency guys, I can't pay for them."

"Your insurance will probably take care of it," Killian says, his voice calm. "Or the tenant's insurance or whatever. I paid for it. We can figure out the details later."

"What's wrong?" Chloe asks. "Can we go inside now?"

"Nothing's wrong, baby. There was an accident with some water in the store and we're just trying to figure out how to get the water out."

"Someone spilled something?" she asks. "You can just wipe it up."

"Good suggestion," Killian notes, and Chloe beams.

"You can't just
pay
for it," I whisper to Killian, my jaw clenched.

"I'm helping."