Killian: A West Bend Saints Romance (45 page)

"
S
he tried
, I guess," Luke said. "I mean, she was just weak. She wasn't like the asshole."

We all nodded, sitting around the table in the house where we grew up. We'd buried her two hours earlier, just the four of us standing around her grave. I'd purchased the plot with my savings, something to make sure she wasn't in a state burial plot, the way the asshole had been buried. I didn't want her buried with him. No matter what kind of inadequate mother she'd been, there was something that didn't sound right about that. At least I could do that much.

Their feelings about her were as mixed as mine, I was sure. What could you really say about a woman who stayed with a man like our father, someone who beat his wife, beat his kids within an inch of their lives? She tried, at least.

But she should have tried harder,
Killian said.
We were kids, so she should have tried harder.

I guess that was the reality. I wasn't glad she was gone, not like I felt about the asshole - but I wasn't devastated, either.

It was what it was. Just the way life goes.

Killian held up a whiskey glass. "To our mother. May she finally have some peace."

I nodded. "To our mother."

We tossed back the whiskey, otherwise silent. It was a strange thing, all of us together, for the first time in years. It didn't feel right, somehow, the fact that we were all together solely because she'd died.

Brothers should be tighter than that,
I thought.

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket, breaking the silence, and I slid it out, looking at the number.

I looked up at Silas.

"What is it?" he asked, his face apprehensive. "What happened now?"

I recognized the number immediately. It was the number I had emblazoned on my brain, the one I kept telling myself I should call.

It just didn't seem right, me being concerned about what happened with some girl, when my mother had just died.

"It's River's number," I said, the cell phone buzzing over and over. "Her throwaway. The one we got her here."

"Well, shit, man," Killian said. "A fucking movie star is calling you. Pick up the goddamn phone."

The buzzing stopped, and I shrugged, putting the phone on the table. "It's nothing," I said, looking around at their faces.

"Are you fucking serious?" Silas said. "She left because she thought you were a douchebag who said shitty things about her. Then she said you were -and I quote-
the real deal
on fucking TV, and now she's calling you? What the hell is wrong with you? You don't
not
answer the phone. Now you
are
being a douchebag."

Killian and Luke stared at me, nodding.

"Douchebag," Luke chimed in.

"You're being a dickwad," Killian said.

The phone buzzed again, and I slid the screen open to read the message.

"It's not from her," I said, reading it, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Who's it from?" Silas asked. "What does it say?"

"Shit," I said, realizing what I had to do. "I have to go to LA. Now. And you fucked this all up, Silas. So you're coming with me."

* * *

"
T
his is it
," I said. "This is the address."

Silas whistled. "Fancy."

"Well, what'd you think it was going to be?" I asked. "She's a fucking star. Shit, man, she's way out of my league. I shouldn't be here."

"Yeah, well, you are now," he said. "Too late to change your mind."

What the hell was I going to say now that I got here?

"I don't even know if she's here."

"Her friend, the chick that texted you, said she wasn't leaving until tomorrow," Silas said. "Get in and see her."

Inside, the security guard stopped me. "Resident?"

"Visiting," I said.

He looked down at me, brow burrowed. "Yes," he said, his tone nasal. "Visiting who precisely?"

"River Andrews."

He smirked. "Nice try," he said. "But there's no one by that name who lives here."

"Number 1279," I said. "This is the address she sent me."

He shrugged. "Like I said, no one by that name."

"Shit, man," Silas said. "Are you serious?"

I racked my brain.
What was the fake name she gave Jed? Brenda. Bailey. Beth.
"Beth Winters."

He shook his head, his eyes narrowed.

"Jesus, man, come on," I said.

"Wait a second. You're
that
guy," he said. "The bomb guy. The one she went to see." He looked back and forth between me and Silas. "There's two of you."

"Jesus Christ," Silas said. "Give this man a medal. Congratulations. We're twins."

"YES," I said. "Yes. That's me. I'm not a psycho stalker or something. I know her."

"Ex-Navy, right?"

"Yes, yes." I didn't want to chat. Right now, I wanted to flatten this guy for getting in the way of me seeing her.

"My son's thinking of joining the Navy," he said.

"That's nice." I looked toward the elevator.

The guard ambled slowly toward the desk. "It was in the news, you know," he said. "One of the magazines. Had your picture in it, with River's. I read your story. Article said you cleared a bomb in Afghanistan, ahead of a convoy that would have never seen it coming. You're a hero."

"Yes," I said, exhaling. "That's me. Hero."

He took out a card, and I reached for it, but he didn't hand it over, still talking. "You're not going up there to break that girl's heart, are you?"

"No," I said, pulling the card from his hand. "Fuck. No."

"For the elevator. Need it to get to the upper floors."

"Thank you."

The whole way up the elevator, my heart pounded in my chest. I ran through what I was going to say.

"What are you going to tell her?" Silas asked.

"Shut the hell up, man."

* * *

T
he door opened
, and...a girl, not River, wearing a tank top, her arms covered in tattoos, a ring in her nose, stood in front of us, a confused look on her face. Then she grinned. "There's two of you."

"Who are you?"

She put her hand on her hip. "Abby. Who the fuck are you?"

Silas grinned. "Silas. And Elias."

She looked us up and down. "Twins," she said. "I dig it."

"Is River here?"

"So you're Elias, huh?" she asked, her gaze hard. She exhaled. "I guess I can see it."

"See what?"

"You're hot, I guess, in a rugged kind of way," she said. "I mean, I prefer pussy myself, but I can see what she sees."

"Is she here?" I asked.

"Hey River," she called. "Pizza guy is here."

"I didn't order any - "

There she was, standing in the doorway.

Looking at me.

"Elias," she said, her eyes focused on mine. And then she looked at Silas. "You're twins."

I shrugged, embarrassed. "I didn't mention he was my twin," I said. "I didn't think to, and-"

"I think you overheard something at the bar -" Silas began.

"Yeah, I heard what you said. Expiration date. Just a fling."

I glared at Silas. "Not me," I said. "This jackass said that."

Silas threw his hands up in the air. "Guilty," he said. "It was me. In my defense, I was
actually
saying there was an expiration date on it because someone like you would in no way really date this asshole. Because you're slumming it."

Behind her, Abby whooped. "Hah," she said. "Did I say there was an explanation?" She pushed past River and motioned for Silas. "Guess we should give them some privacy," she said, stepping back a few feet.

The pair hovered a few yards away.

"I can see you," I yelled. "I'm missing a leg. I'm not fucking blind."

I heard Abby cackle.

"I thought it was you," River said. "Saying that stuff. I thought it was you."

I nodded. "I know."

"You didn't tell me you had a twin."

"I don't know what to say about that," I said. "It was an unfortunate oversight."

"I'll say. Why did you come here, Elias?" Her face was turned up toward me, her lips parted. I wanted my mouth on her.

"No flowers or anything?" Abby's voice broke though the silence.

"Abby," River warned. She turned toward me. "No flowers or anything?"

"No," I said. "No flowers. Just my heart."

Silas guffawed. "That is fucking corny as hell."

"Get out," River hissed, and they walked back into the apartment, the sound of laughter becoming muffled. She turned toward me. "Your heart, huh?"

I shrugged. "I don't have anything else to lay on the table, here," I said. "This is it. It's all I've got. I don't know what the hell is going to happen in the future. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. But I want whatever it is to happen with you. I want you. That's it. All I know is I want you."

River stared at me, long and hard, before her lips finally parted and she spoke. "Elias, I -"

Abby's voice rang loud from the living room. "Kiss him already!"

River whirled around. "Seriously, guys, if I hear one more thing out of either of you, I swear I will kill you both with my bare hands!"

She stepped outside and pulled the door shut behind here, shaking her head.

"So," she said. You were saying?"

"Here's the thing," I said. "You can tell me to go to hell, or call me crazy. I haven't known you long enough to be saying this, and I am acutely aware of that fucking fact. But I've been close to dying, and I've seen enough death in my life to know that when something - someone- knocks me on my ass because she's so different from anyone else I've ever known, that...well, it's just really goddamn important."

The words just poured out of me, this rush, unstoppable.

"So, I'm saying I want to be with you. I fucking love you. That's all I've got. You can tell me to go to hell or whatever you want. But I've said my piece."

"All right," she said.

"All right?"

She nodded. "All right, to all of it. I want you too, Elias."

I pulled River close, my mouth coming down on hers. With her lips pressed against mine, the world was set right again.

"
A
re
you really sure all of this is going to fit?" I stood with my hands on my hips, surveying the apartment, my boxes stacked neatly in towers in the middle of the room. I'd donated most of the things from Viper's place and this one in anticipation of the move to West Bend.

"You saw the house," Elias said. "It'll fit. Are you sure you want to move into a farmhouse in West Bend? It's not exactly Hollywood."

I slid my arms around his waist and looked up at him, the man who had made me so happy. "It's completely crazy," I said. "And not like Hollywood at all. I'm totally, a hundred percent, over the moon sure."

"You think you're going to be happy there with me?" Elias asked. "Might be too tame for you, being a movie star and all."

I laughed. "Tame is nice," I said. "And I'm not going to be a movie star in West Bend, anyway - just a regular old college student, taking classes so I can become a teacher. Besides, you're not tame everywhere."

Elias slapped me on the ass, hard. "Don't forget it, either," he said, circling around me, his breath on my ear. "If you need a reminder before we leave, though..." He pressed his hardness into my ass cheek. "I can take you in the other room and -"

One of the movers walked in. "I think we've got everything inventoried."

Elias groaned. "Perfect timing, thanks."

Later, I settled back in the car and watched in the side mirror as I left Hollywood behind.

Left behind the life I knew to start a new one with this man.

Elias drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove, and I leaned back against the seat. I felt calm, totally at peace.

"Where the hell is he?" I asked. "I should be taken to the looney bin for letting Silas take my Mustang back here so I could stay with you out in California."

River ran her hands over my chest. "Oh, but then you wouldn't have had all that time alone with me the past few weeks," she said.

I kissed her, letting my hands roam down her hips, cupping her ass. "You're right," I said. "Maybe you can remind me of why I stayed out there alone with you."

River moaned. "Gladly," she said, taking my hand. "No furniture yet, so I guess it doesn't matter which room we christen first, right? Besides, I'm sure Silas is just running an errand or something."

"Yeah." That was probably it. But River didn't know everything, not about Silas' disappearances, his erratic behavior.

A motorcycle engine rumbled, growing louder as it approached, and River and I went to the door.

Killian dismounted the bike.

"River, this is Killian, one of my brothers."

Killian stuck out his hand, and grinned. "Pleased to fucking meet you."

"Classy, dude."

"Need to talk to you real quick, Elias." Killian gave me a look, and River kissed me on the cheek.

"I'll just make myself useful bringing stuff inside," she said.

"Look," Killian said. "I've been doing some thinking on it, and I think Silas is right."

I groaned. "Jesus, not you too. Come on. You know Silas is smart as shit, but sometimes he's crazy smart. Emphasis on crazy."

Killian shook his head. "No, I think there's more going on in this town than just a developer coming in. I think he's right about what happened. I don't think the asshole's death was an accident. And I don't think mom overdosed."

River looked up from the trunk as she pulled out two bags, and smiled at me. "Everything okay?" she asked, as she walked past.

"Yeah," I said. "Everything's just fine."

River and I would be just fine, I knew that. More than fine. All this time I'd been a big cynic, convinced there were no happy-ever-afters, no movie endings for me. The universe had a big fucking sense of irony, giving me a movie star - who starred in romantic comedies, no less- to fall in love with.

Things happened for a purpose- I was starting to believe that. So maybe our parents' deaths were the universe's way of bringing my brothers and I back together, unifying us for a common purpose.

Even if I had no idea right now what the hell that purpose was.

I was going to find out.

Not right now, though. Right now, I was going to go sit down, have a beer with Killian and River, and toast the fact that we were starting a new life here in West Bend.

Everything else, whatever the hell was going on, could wait. Right now, I was happy.

* * *