Killing Time: The Bonus Collection (18 page)

I noticed the slight hints of rosemary and sea salt. It was definitely fresh water salmon and it tasted delicious. It was almost as satisfactory as watching a scarlet faced Severin lose it in front of his slaves. Somehow, I didn’t think that was very good decorum.

“Leave her alone, Seven. If she doesn’t feel like talking then who are we to make her?” Rory’s voice was cold, jaded.

“Easy. She should be here on the floor with my slaves because she is
not
our equal! I had her before me this morning, sucking my cock as if it were the most decadent thing she ever tasted and you know what the kicker was, she wanted to please me because she thought I was
you
. If your stupid little whore can’t tell the difference between us then why should I respect her?”

“For fuck’s sake, let it be, Severin.” Rory pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are giving me a goddamn migraine with all your insipid talk.”

“Yeah, just don’t fall in love…you know what happens when you do…” he trailed off cryptically.

Rory shook his head before he threw a cloth napkin over his plate in anger. “You just ruined a perfectly good dinner with all your bullshit. Aurélie, let’s go.”

I wanted to say I was sorry to go—and in a way I was because once he dropped me off in Manhattan, I would never see him again—but I couldn’t take another minute of Severin. I wasn’t exactly sure what kind of relationship he and Rory had but it didn’t take an assessment from Dr. Phil to know it wasn’t a healthy one.

If I didn’t know better, I almost thought Severin was in love with his brother and didn’t want anyone else to have him. It was probably just my imagination. Was it possible for something so sick to happen between siblings?

I followed Rory wordlessly into the garage. My dress was tucked into a small Louis Vuitton carry-on he’d given me and I wore a Juicy Couture pink sweat suit he’d had delivered earlier that evening. It certainly wasn’t my favorite designer but at least I had on a comfortable pair of Chanel flats to match and my high heels were also in the carry-on along with my small purse and my wool coat I’d worn the night before.

As I climbed into the passenger seat next to him, he seemed to ignore me as he cranked up the car and turned the heat on low as the night had grown quite chilly. I looked in his direction every now and then but I didn’t know what to say to ease the ache. It couldn’t have been easy on his ego when I’d outright said no to his offer of a relationship but it wasn’t for the reasons he probably thought and I needed to express myself or I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I turned toward him as he continued to focus on the road. Mylène Farmer’s
Bleu Noir
played low on the stereo and I thought the album was a perfect soundtrack for our past weekend.

“So, are you a big fan?” I inquired.

“Of who? Madame Farmer? Well, Severin is and it kind of grows on you after a while although she is a bit campy, isn’t she?”

“Well, it is true a lot of homosexuals like her music in France but she’s popular amongst everyday people too you know. I grew up listening to her so I am quite fond of her music. It didn’t escape my attention
Point de Suture
was playing at the club last night. It…fit the scenery.”

“Severin chooses the play lists when he is in town. There are a lot of Europeans who frequent the club so we tend to play a lot of British and French artists. Although you are surrounded by some of the most depraved activities, you get to see them performed to great music. We try to avoid the whole ‘club atmosphere’ with pulsing bass music as it is a bit of a cliché. There are plenty of BDSM clubs like that but all of ours are exclusive and we try to cultivate that atmosphere.”

“Why didn’t you ask me if I had been tested for sexually transmitted diseases?” I questioned, changing the subject.

“What?”

“Well, you asked me what birth control I was on but you never asked me whether I was Typhoid Mary. I might
look
clean but we both know that means nothing…” I trailed off.

Rory laughed out loud. “You are
kidding
, right? Someone in my position doesn’t have to ask such inane questions. I only wanted to know whether you would be truthful or not but I have my ways…of knowing, that is.”

My heart began to accelerate in my chest. “What do you mean?”

“Listen, I know your whole medical history, including the abortion you had when you were twenty-one. Was it Renaud’s?”

My face burned and I knew my complexion was scarlet at the moment. “How did you get a hold of my medical records?”

“It’s easier than you think now that everything is online. Most doctors store their medical files online in places like DropBox and a fair amount of them use Cloud programs provided by Amazon and Apple. Stupid, I know, because a pretty good hacker can crack those programs. I know an excellent hacker and she keeps me up to date for a fee. I’d rather pay it then not and make a horrible mistake.”

I said nothing because the thought of someone invading my privacy in such a way pissed me off so thoroughly.

“Listen, it’s nothing personal. I do it with all my sexual partners. It might seem like a very promiscuous lifestyle but it isn’t. When I am at the club and I get involved with a customer, I always wear a condom with absolutely no exceptions. The only person I didn’t use any form of protection with was your sister. I knew her and she wouldn’t dare cheat. Plus, I had access to her medical records as she used a doctor I paid for and he knew what to expect from me.

“I have never had a sexually transmitted disease and I would like to keep it that way. It was nothing against you but I have to be careful in my line of work. It isn’t exactly the safest profession you know but I enjoy what I do and the clubs I run. I provide a service and people are very satisfied with what they find at our establishments. That is the way it should be.”

“When did you have your
hacker
procure my medical records?” I wondered out loud.

“The same day your sister died. It was only precautionary at the time. I wanted to make sure there weren’t any diseases in your family that might have caused Trésor’s death—”

“What are you on about? Her throat was slit. What would a family disease have to do with that? Don’t be daft.”

“Detective O’Neill and Detective Wozniak had already been assigned the case but both refused to tell me how she died until I was in the country. They merely called my mobile phone and inquired where I was and at the time, I was in the air on a flight back to the States. When I asked how she expired, they refused to give details and told me I would have to meet them at the precinct when I arrived. Ironically, I’d only made it to the station fifteen minutes before you and Grayson came waltzing through the doors. By then, I knew.

“I was worried and thought maybe she died because of something I had done so I scoured her medical records and ordered both your parents’ and yours from my hacker friend. She delivered them within a couple of hours and by the time I got to the police department, I knew it had to be foul play. You will tell me if you find anything suspicious in her journals, won’t you?”

“Of course,” I snapped. “Wait…are you telling me you have never read them?”

“No, I haven’t. I wouldn’t dare invade her privacy like that.”

I laughed though it was highly inappropriate. “You don’t mind hacking into someone’s medical records but you won’t read your lover’s journal for fear of
invading
her privacy? I’m almost positive you don’t see the irony.”

“Well, one concerns me. Her health is important to me and the other…her journals…they are not of my affairs.”

“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.”

I was quiet for a while and didn’t say anything further until we were on Interstate 495 heading west towards Manhattan.

“So, you said you aren’t staying with Grayson when you get back. May I ask what it is you plan to do?”

I glared at Rory before I said anything. “I don’t think that is any of your business. Let’s just say I don’t have to stay here in New York any longer and my leaving here won’t be a moment too soon. I am not particularly crazy about Manhattan and never have been. I just moved here for the job and after I became engaged to Grayson, well, it was a given this is where we would stay.”

“I always knew you would be the type to suffer from wanderlust. Are you going back to Europe?”

“Maybe,” I replied.

“So, you won’t tell me where you are headed? Do you think that will stop me from tracking you down?”

“Stop you? No, but I hope you would respect my privacy if I have no wish to be found.”

“I suppose I have no choice. It does make it easier for me to check on you and make sure you are all right. Just because we are not in a relationship doesn’t mean you haven’t gotten under my skin. You are Trésor’s sister and that is a dangerous position in these times if she didn’t commit suicide. You do realize you aren’t safe and if I don’t know where you are—”

I held up a hand to stop him from talking. “It’s better this way, Rory. Less temptation for both of us because…you got under my skin too and if you constantly came around, I’m not sure I could resist temptation. You’re a lovely human being and together, we are two fucked up individuals with a lot of baggage but somehow, we make it work. Sometimes, it just
shouldn’t
work and these are one of those times. You and me—it can’t happen.”

“Is it because I was in a former relationship with Trésor? Do you feel like you are betraying her memory if you were to be with me?”

I shot him a look. “No, she doesn’t have anything to do with it. I need to be on my own for a while and perhaps find some…closure to this whole issue. I know it won’t bring her back but let it be a cause—my own personal crusade if you wish—I can actually do something about because she’s my sister and I loved her with all my heart. I can’t do anything about all those conflicts far away but perhaps I can settle the one raging within me. I acted stupid and selfish—I was the older of us two by seven years and I should have done everything in my power to make it right.”

Rory sighed and I could tell I was just frustrating the hell out of him. “Your answer, though eloquent, lacks conviction. I would do anything to make sure you are safe yet you will take absolutely nothing from me. What if I threatened to withhold the money?”

“I’m leaving anyway—money or no money, Rory. After what has happened between us, I can’t just go on with my life and pretend everything is okay. It’s never been my style to lie and I will tell Grayson the truth but I won’t blame you. In this case, I knew exactly what I was getting involved in and I did it with my eyes wide open.”

He said nothing further and as the bright lights of Manhattan began to illuminate the night sky, my chest tightened painfully and I found it hard to breathe. By the time he pulled up to the foreboding building where I resided with Grayson, I was in the midst of a full on anxiety attack.

Rory stared at me for a long time before he grabbed my hand closest to him and squeezed tightly. “Do you want to go inside?”

“Not really,” I managed in a soft voice. “To be honest, I am afraid but I have to pick up some clothes and Trésor’s possessions. Gray might be a bit reluctant to hand them over and I don’t want a huge fight but I suppose it can’t be avoided at this point. It’s my own sorry fault. If I had been honest with my fiancé and myself from the get-go then this wouldn’t be happening.”

“Listen, do you have the code to the parking lot?”

“Of course.”

“Then I will park in a guest spot and accompany you upstairs. You’re breaking it off anyway so I don’t see how my presence can harm the situation.”

At that moment, neither could I and therefore I merely nodded in acquiescence to his decision.

We parked and both got out. As we boarded a private elevator connected to the garage, he pulled me to him and I didn’t fight his touch or his embrace. “Where will you stay?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest—”

“I can’t drive back to the Hamptons tonight…I’m worn out from all the exertion of our sexual activities. You can stay with me at the Waldorf until we figure out what you’re going to do.”

“Rory, don’t push it.”

He stopped touching me and instead held his hands up in mock-surrender. “Why don’t we get this out of the way now? I care a lot about you but I will never push you past boundaries you are not willing to cross so let’s make a deal. Stay with me until you get everything straightened out. At least until Trésor’s funeral is over as I also have a house in Vaucresson that is empty more often than not and could use a guest every now and then. When you know what it is you want to do then I will let you go. On your own, without me, is that understood?

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and that includes sexually speaking as well. We will get your belongings and we’ll leave for France tomorrow, deal? You can rest up and do what ever kind of research you need. In fact, I will put you in touch with some of her friends who were also in the community. I don’t want us to fight about this. You need to find out what happened to her as do I. Perhaps you are the better person to carry out that investigation and I can accept that.”

He paused and touched my face with his hands. “I can’t be free of you yet and I know I don’t have a right to ask but just please…be with me. It’s the loneliness that gets to me more than anything. I miss her smile, her laugh and having her in my life. Can you understand that? I don’t want to be on my own because I am bound to follow my brother down a path of self-destruction and I fear I might not be able to recover. I am
begging
you.”