Kindled (Book 3 The Kindred Series) (2 page)

  
Though Isla had not killed Lily, for only Julian would have known of Lily’s relationship to Cassie, Devon was certain that she had helped in Lily’s demise.
“
I’m the reason that he is here.
That they are
both
here.
”

  
Chris was silent for a moment as he swayed lightly in his chair.
“But
you
did not kill
Lily
.”

   Devon turned away again, his forgotten coffee clutched tightly in his hands.
“Splitting hairs,” he muttered.

  
Chris sighed softly, his impatience with Devon evident on his face.
“Th
e truth is
that it’s not you
that
she’s
really
mad at
.
”

   Devon frowned fiercely. “Of course it is.”
   Chris leaned forward; reaching out to take the mug from Devon’s clenched hands. He released it slowly, dimly realizing that he had cracked it
from holding it so tight
.
Coffee dripped down the side of the crack.
“No, it’s not. She’s mad at herself, she’s mad that she wasn’t there to stop it. She’s mad that she was with you that night
,
instead of with her grandmother. She’s mad that she
didn’t see it coming,
that she
didn’t
realize that
Julian
,
or Isla
,
would go after her grandmother. It’s not you that she hates; I don’t even think she truly hates Julian.
”

  
Chris broke off
,
his
e
yes bright in the light of the moo
n. His face was intent, his gaze
still incredibly lost and lonely. Though Chris was far younger than he, Devon suddenly sensed a wealth of wisdom in him that was frightening as well as slightly unnerving.

  
“
It’s
herself
that she hates right now
. That is
who she
is truly angry at, who she
truly
hates. That is what is at the root of her desire to die. She hates herself so much that she doesn’t want to keep going.
She h
ates herself so much that she doesn’t want an
yone’s love right now.
Not
yours,
not
mine,
no
body’s. She doesn’t feel she deserves it. Not anymore.”
   Devon sat in stunned silence, his gaze rapidly searching
Chris’s face.
Confusion swirled through Devon, doubt and worr
y
swamped h
im. Though the
two of them
had developed a friendship of sorts, Devon had always suspected that Chris was in love with Cassie. Why would Chris want to help him
by telling him this stuff now
?
Why would
Chris
give him hope that Cassie would come back to him
,
once she sorted through the emotions and pain swamping her?

   “Why are you telling me this?” he asked softly.

   Chris frowned at him, his eyes
shadowed by the dark circles beneath them
. “To help you understand.”

  
“But why?
”
Devon demanded.
“
With me out of the picture, you c
an
make your move on her.”

   Though the thought made his blood boil, it was something that needed to be said, and explained. Chris’s eyes widened, his mouth parted in surprise, and then (to Devon’s vast annoyance) he began to laug
h loudly. “Make a move on
Cassie
!?” he sputtered in disbelief.

   Devon frowned fiercely at him. “Yes.”
   Chris’s laughter died off, but his eyes still twinkled with amusement. “
You think that I’m in
love
with her
!”

   Devon’s annoyance grew as he shifted angrily in his chair. Despite their strange friendship, he was very close to punching the
maddening grin off of Chris’s face.
“Well
,
aren’t you?” he growled.

   “Good God no!” he cried, laughter bursting from him
once more
. “That would be li
ke being in love with my sister.
” He managed to gasp out between
bouts of
laugh
ter
. “You really thought that I was in love with her!
?
”

   Devon’s fierce scowl only caused him to laugh harder
.
Chris
nearly toppl
ed
from his chair as he rocked backward, holding his belly.
Slowly he began to regain control of himself, chuckling softly as he leaned forward in his chair again. “You acted like it, in the beginning,” Devon amended.

   Chris brushed back a strand of
unruly
sandy
blond
hair from his eye. “
I
was worried about
her;
I was frightened that she would be hurt
by you
.
U
ntil you arrived
Cassie had never felt anything for anyone, and
I
wanted her to go slow
,
and take it easy. I just didn’t want her to rush into something, when she had no idea what she was getting into.” Chris snorted as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. His eyes were mischievous when he turned his attention back to Devon. “Hell, none of us knew what we were getting into with you.”

   Devon shook his head at him. “Thanks,” he muttered.

   “No problem.” Chris grew silent for a few moments, his foot tapp
ed
lightly on the wooden boards. “I have never felt anything
at all
romantic for Cassie
,
and I never will.
What you two feel for each other is something so good and true
that it has to be able to beat
what she is going
through
.
It has to be able to push past her walls and save her
, again
.
In fact, I
know
that it can, and it will.
”

   Devon slowly digested this information
as he
lean
ed
back in his chair
. Chris did not love her. It was a strange thing to realize, it was even stranger to realize that he had long ago come to accept the
thought
that Chris
was
in love with her.
It
had not bothered him, he had not been jealous. Cassie had been his,
then. He had known that her heart belonged to him, that
he was
all she
would
ever want.

  
Things were different now. She was no longer his
,
and h
e
was
relieved that Chris did not love her
. Devon didn’t need the competition now, and he was surprised to realize that he didn
’
t want
their
odd friendship to be affected by
it
.

  Slowly
,
he turned his attention to Cassie’s window again. With his mind he reached out to her, making sure that she was still present and accounted for. He brushed briefly against her mind, coming up against a wall of
fury that was stunning in its intensity. The fact that
Chris said
it was directed at
herself
was enough to make his stomach turn. He would have much preferred that it be directed at Julian,
or
even him
self
. It broke his heart.

   His head bowed, he took a deep breath as the weight of the world seemed to rest upon his shoulders. “There has to be something that we can do,” he whispered.

   “Time,” Chris
answered. “I think time is the only answer.
She needs t
ime to come to terms with everything, time for her to realize that she is not
to
blame.”

   “What if there isn’t enough time?”
   Chris bit his bottom lip nervously as he shook his head. “We’re going to have to make sure that there is.”

   Devon leaned back in his chair, folding his arms on his stomach as he glanced at Chris ag
ain. He was surprised to
realize
that Chris was perhaps the first true friend he had ever had. It was a weird thing to realize. It was a weird thing to
have
. But Chris was on his side.
Devon
didn
’
t
fool
himself into thinking that
Chris
would
choose
him
over Cassie, but Chris
would fight for him, and he would not turn against him. It was a good thing to know. And it was something that he was exceptionally grateful for.

   “Thank you,” he said softly.

   Chris flashed him a smile. “Don’t go getting all sentimental on me you big bad vamp.”
Devon chuckled softly, propping his feet up beside Chris’s. Though he would have preferred to have been in Cassie’s bed, curled up next to her,
this was far better than sta
nding outside in the cold
.
At least h
e wasn’t alone here.
“You know, before all this happened, I had thought that she would end up joining you.”
   Devon started in surprise, nearly toppling out of the chair as his sudden movement jolted it sharply.
“What!?”
   Chris grinned at him as he shrugged absently. “I thought that she would join you in the end. I’m not a fool, I see what goes on between you two, and no matter how hard I try to keep
the emotions
blocked
out
, some
things
slip through. I know how hard it is for you to be around her. I know you fear you will hurt her.”
   Devon stared unblinkingly at him, unsure what to say, unable to believe what Chris was saying to him. “You don’t think I would
hurt her
?”
   Chris s
hook his head,
messing his shaggy hair up even more
.
“Not at all.
I think you love her more than even you realize.
You wouldn’t hurt her.
”

   Devon couldn’t move
as
shock held him riveted. “And it wou
ldn’t have bothered you if she
decided to join me?”

   Chris smiled wryly at him. “Before I met you I would have destroyed her m
yself
,
if such a thing had happened to her
.
E
v
e
n
though it would have killed me to do so.
But now I know you, and I know that she will not be a monster. All I want is for her to be happy, and you make her happy.”
   “Not anymore,” Devon mumbled.

   Chris shrugged absently. “It will work out.”

   Devon wished that he could believe him, but he wasn’t too sure himself. “She didn’t want to join me.”
   Chris’s frown intensified. “You talked about it?”
   Devon nodded, leaning forward he clasped his hands before him, trying hard not to recall the horrified look on Cassie’s face when he had broached the subject
with her
. “Yes.”

  
Chris started in surprise, his eyebrows dr
e
w sharply together.
“She never mentioned it.”

   “She had made up her mind not to join me
. She probably felt there was no need
to mention it
.”

  
Chris was silent for a minute, his eyes distant as he thought over Devon’s words.
“She w
ill
come around.”
   Devon chuckled softly as he turned to him. “Are you always this optimistic?”

   Chris grinned back at him. “No, I just know how she feels about you…”
   “Felt.”
   Chris’s eyes narrowed upon him. “No, it
is
how she still feels; it’s just buried beneath s
elf hatred and grief right now.
She
just needs time to work it all out
. I know Cassie as well as I
know
myself. I
know
she’s still in there somewhere and that she
will
come back.
She has to
come back
.
”