“’Preciate the transport, buddy, but you want to explain to me why you’re outside the estate when you were given instructions to stay put until your ass was healed?”
“Tyra sent word. Wanted me available to help with driving. Sir.” Only the barest motion indicated that Xander was not just nervous but still in a great deal of pain. The younger male held himself carefully, and the tension of his body gave it away.
Thad cursed at Tyra for managing to create yet another sticky situation. It was maddening, really, although Thad had to concede that in this case her plan had worked. With Xander unable to fight, he was a good choice to play chauffeur. It left one extra man to help Lee and Siddoh shore things up while Thad and Isabel headed home.
Home
. It was an interesting choice of word for the mansion since neither he nor Isabel actually lived there just now. Thad had resided in one of the smaller houses at the estate, and until a few days ago, the idea of moving into the main house had seemed… unbearable. Now, he was resolute. It just needed to happen.
As for Isabel, after all was said and done, would she be willing to consider calling the estate her home as well? Or was she as determined as ever to hitchhike back to Florida?
Thad shifted and tightened his grip around her shoulders. If he were to dwell on how close he had come to losing her tonight, and how damn much that scared him… The last thing he needed was to fall into a puddle in front of Xander. Or Isabel, for that matter. He needed to stay strong for her.
He hadn’t anticipated it, but Thad was coming to the conclusion that the hardest part of this leadership gig was not having the luxury of breaking down. Ever. Right now, a great deal of his energy went toward holding up a facade of strength and calm that would shatter in an instant if it was as much as tapped by a toy hammer.
Thad rubbed his forehead. Even his face was hot and tense. This whole fucking thing was crazy. Sure, he’d never been as laid back as Siddoh, who quite frankly seemed to have a few screws lose, but he’d never cared this much about anyone or anything. The whole situation had him questioning his sanity in a major way.
He wanted nothing more than to crush Isabel’s body against his, but he didn’t want her to feel as if she were stuck in a vice grip. He hadn’t managed to look her in the eye since they’d left that derelict apartment building. If he did, he just might lose it. So instead he kept his focus on Xander, not that he knew what to do about that poor bastard’s predicament, either.
“So how you healing up, buddy?”
Xander sighed a little. “Doing all right, sir.”
Liar, liar…
“Xander,” Thad said quietly. He tried to convey with his tone what he didn’t want to say aloud. The bandage still adorning Xander’s neck made it clear that he was not, in fact, all right. A fully charged and fed vampire could heal rapidly, sometimes in mere minutes or hours. No way in hell should he still be bandaged up a few nights later. There shouldn’t be as much as a scab by this time.
The answering sigh was louder this time. “I’m sorry, sir.” Xander took a few more deep breaths in and out, likely steadying his nerves. Thad’s heart broke for the soldier. He knew the heart-pounding, gut-twisting agony that had nearly brought him to his knees when Isabel turned up missing. But mercifully, it had been short-lived. For Xander, there was no end in sight. No way to soothe the despair except time.
“Listen, man. I know it’s been hard since Tam died, and I get why you don’t want to feed. I really do. I can’t begin to imagine the difficulty of that.” Damn, but he did not want to knee Xander in the balls over this. Still, for the sake of everyone, there was no getting around the harsh reality of it.
“But it’s dangerous for you and the rest of the team to have you out in the field when you’re not operating at full strength.”
Xander swallowed hard, then nodded. “I know. Lee and Siddoh both already talked to me.”
Well, that would make this a little easier. “Good. So you know we have to take you off active duty until… you get your strength back.”
Xander nodded again. Just barely. “I know,” he said.
Thad sighed. “You can help out with training if you like, or you can talk to Ivy about some of the in-house security stuff. You choose. But I want you off the front lines until you’re back in shape.”
“What about the stables?” The question was full of hope. Since the estate fronted as a horse farm, someone from the team was always up there masquerading as the friendly neighborhood farmer, just in case.
Thad shook his head. “Sorry, buddy. I know that post gets no action, but heaven forbid something actually goes down. That’s our first line of defense, and whoever is manning it needs to be in top shape.”
Xander coughed a little. Could have been that his voice hitched, but Thad chose to assume it was a cough. “Understood, sir.”
They were almost back, and Thad was still at a huge loss with Isabel.
Part of him wanted to pull her into a private corner somewhere and hold on to her and tell her how afraid he’d been. How he couldn’t breathe at the thought of losing her. Another part of him was so righteously pissed over the whole thing that he wanted to scream until his voice gave out and his ears bled about how fucking stupid she’d been to run off alone into the night in a strange place and nearly get her ass killed.
He thought back to their escape from the grungy apartment where he’d found her and the smokescreen their bodies had created with huge clouds of steam billowing up between them. Right where their bodies met. It had been so perfect.
But… Isabel had remained fairly noncommittal regarding how she felt toward him. No, noncommittal wasn’t even accurate. Since they had made love, Isabel had consistently pushed him away. Thad leaned back against the seat, suddenly deflated. What if she really had run away?
He was such a stupid bastard.
While making plans in his head to nurse Isabel back to health and ride off into the proverbial moonlight with her, he had conveniently ignored the fact that she had never given any indication that he meant anything to her aside from really great sex.
Thad looked down at that scar on his forearm, which was still strangely quiet after all this time. After weeks of the thing prodding him for attention, he would have expected a little guidance or something from it.
A shaky sigh from Isabel gave him clarity. His precious bout of anger-driven machismo aside, he really couldn’t make her stay against her will. Didn’t want to. He only needed to look at what had happened when he tried before. What he felt for her didn’t amount to much if she didn’t feel the same way. He wasn’t into a lifelong commitment with someone who was faking it for the good of their race. Besides, she had made it quite clear that she wanted no part of being queen.
“Listen,” he said to her as they pulled up in front of the mansion. “I want you to head back to your room, lie down, and get some rest. I’ll go find Brayden or one of the other medical staff. You need to get checked out.”
She furrowed her brow. Yeah, he even loved the giant creases in her forehead. “Then what?”
He almost couldn’t force his lips to move. As soon as he thought it, his lips pressed into a tight seal of their own volition, and the words clogged his throat so he could barely breathe or swallow.
“If you want to leave, I won’t make you stay. All I ask is that you wait long enough for us to find someplace safe to send you.”
Isabel nodded mutely. The frown remained on her face, and her eyes lost focus like she was confused. That was pretty much it, though. If he had expected her to jump into his arms and make a declaration of undying love, he clearly had been fooling himself.
Thad opened the door and helped Isabel out of the car. If he didn’t get her inside and out of his sight soon, he was going to start saying things he would regret later.
“I, uh, I think I’d like to stop by and see how Lexi’s doing. That would be okay, wouldn’t it?” Her tone of voice was strange. There was almost a… meekness to it.
Thad did a little head shake. He’d witnessed a veritable cornucopia of mood swings from Isabel since they first met. She was sexy and cool, confident and assured, hot and cold, aggressive and passive. Crazy as it was, he liked how that kept him on his toes in a good way.
Well, that was just too damn bad, wasn’t it?
“Yeah, sure,” he said. Holy hell, he was tired enough to drop right where they stood. “She’s probably worried about you. I’ll send the doctor to check on you there.”
He sternly commanded his feet to stay the hell put while she made the short trip down the east hall to Alexia’s room. So it was a done deal. Isabel would go back to the human world, and Thad would go on to be most miserable son of a bitch that ever oversaw the vampire society, because no way was he going to find another mate. Not when his goddamn destiny was about to walk out the door.
His insides ached, and his gut was in knots. Big, complicated ones the likes of which Houdini never could have freed himself from. A disturbing sense of vertigo had come over him. If he could have given up every cent he had for the chance to wallow in bed for a few days and cry like a little girl until he died from dehydration, he would have gladly done so.
Instead, he turned to head back out the door. He needed to find the doc, check in on Eamon’s pregnant widow, and do who the fuck knew what else. For the second time that night, he nearly managed to plow into Lee in the foyer.
Lee’s return was a good sign. He wouldn’t have left before the job was done.
“Good news, bad news, as usual,” Lee grumbled. He was a mess but kind enough to dust off his boots before he stomped through the main door.
“Good news first. I could use some.” Thad sagged against the wall a few feet away. First chance he got, he was gonna sleep for a week straight.
Lee nodded. “Your problem is taken care of. Siddoh just texted me. The building is clear, and they evacuated the tattoo parlor before they torched the place. S’a bad neighborhood so likely no one will think twice about it. Also, he checked out the teeth on that freak—looks like dental work. So now we need to figure out why the hell a wizard is running around with custom caps.”
Thad rubbed at the steel cables in the back of his neck. “Maybe they want to blend in, pass as one of us?”
Lee grimaced like he had a bad taste in his mouth. “Yeah, I thought of that too. The question is how well it would work. Most of our kind would know the difference.”
“Maybe not till close up, though,” Thad speculated. “Not until too late. Or maybe not one of our kind that hasn’t seen a wizard before. Think about it. If we’re doing our jobs right, they shouldn’t get near the general population.”
“True.” Lee crossed his arms over his chest. “We gotta figure out how many more of these fuckers are out there and what they’re doing. We could be looking at a serious problem if they manage to infiltrate our communities.”
“I know.” Yeah, this night just kept getting better. Thad straightened, and the ache in his neck crawled up through his jaw to settle in the front right quadrant of his head. “Shit, I don’t even want to think about it.”
“A little more bad news.” Lee’s voice dropped to an uncharacteristically hushed tone. “Haven’t heard from Tyra. She was last seen in the alley and said she was heading to her office to chill, but it’s been a few hours. Siddoh and I have both tried calling, and she’s not picking up.”
Thad took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Let’s try not to assume the worst yet. She drained herself pretty good tonight so she might just need some extra time.” He checked his watch. It was uncomfortably close to dawn. “Probably she’ll be crashing back at her place by midday. Keep trying to reach her, though.”
“Sure thing.” Lee took a few steps toward the hallway. “I need to check in with Xander, talk to him about what’s going down.”
“Yeah, we chatted a little on the way back. Apparently Tyra had sent him for transport.”
Lee shook his head, chuckling slightly. “Wow, she really sucks at toeing the line, huh?”
Thad cracked a slight smile. “It’s part of her charm. Hey, listen. Do me a favor. When you can, no rush.”
“What’s up?” Stopping mid-stride, Lee turned back toward the foyer.
“I want to start clearing out my father’s office, like I said. I’d like you to help pack it all up, if you don’t mind. I’d ask someone else to do it but I don’t know what might be in there that could be sensitive. I know Ty went through everything down there, but I figure better safe than sorry. Never know if she may have missed something.” Thad reached for the knob to the front door, ready as he ever would be to head across the way to see Theresa. Eamon’s widow.
Shit
.
This was the sort of thing his father would have handled well. With wisdom and compassion. On Thad’s best day, he couldn’t hope to be half the male his father had been on his worst.
Lee nodded again. “Yeah, no problem. Listen, I’m gonna head to my room and grab a shower, and then I’ll add it to my to-do list.”
Thad was eternally grateful to have Lee at his back. Even for the small stuff. “I appreciate it, man, truly.”
Lee had already turned to start walking again, his bloody leather jacket slung over one shoulder. He threw his hand up in a small wave as he retreated. “No sweat, buddy.”