Kink the Halls: A Christmas Novella

Kink the Halls

Copyright 2013 Dawn Robertson

All rights reserved as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the publisher.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incident
s are the product of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Smashwords Edition

Published by Dawn Robertson at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Dawn Robertson

License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Kink the Halls
is dedicated to:

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation for making every holiday season magical.

My Family.

Elf for SANTA’S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for all of the readers who begged me for more Seven, Levi, and Star and forced me to write this fun Christmas story. 

To my family for making Christmas special every year, and my children for making me Santa

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday!

Fuck the Holidays
(Seven)

I fucking hate Christmas. It is my least favorite holiday of the year. Everyone who has been a dick to you all year long decides they are your best friend in the name of Christmas cheer. You are forced to deal with drunk co-workers at shitty company holiday parties. Everyone decides New York City is the most magical place on earth, and of course, the God damn tacky decorations. Whoever came up with the idea of putting a fucking live tree in your house should be shot.

“Stop being such a fucking Grinch, Seven.” Levi stumbles out of the elevator dragging the smallest tree I could get him to agree to at the lot across from Rockefeller Center. This was after he dragged me onto the ice with the masses of tourists. Can you see why my pregnant ass is grumpy? I can guarenfuckingtee you would be too.

“I'm fat, and exhausted.” I bark back at him, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge. “I don't even understand why we need to decorate, we are leaving for Star's house in the morning.” I gave in before Thanksgiving and agreed to celebrate the holidays in her brand new spacious home in Woodstock. I’ve done my best to avoid that town like the plague, but knowing my parents were long gone kind of cleared the coast for me.

“We might be leaving in the morning, but I still want a small tree. Come on Seven, you have to get into it. What happens when the baby is born? You can't be such a damn Debbie Downer for the holidays.” He’s right, but it doesn't make me any less pissy. I’ve been trying to tone back my attitude lately and it seems the hormones have only made shit worse. Once the word of pregnancy spread around the office, every last person has been avoiding me for fear that I will bury them six feet under. I don't blame them, because I probably would.

“Just turn the fireplace on, put your feet up and relax. Once I get the tree up, I’ll come rub your feet.” He really knows the key to my heart. Although, rub my feet has become a code word for foreplay. My sexual appetite is strong as ever. I am one of those horny pregnant women, unfortunately most of my toys have been left at the door. Levi is worried he’s going to hurt me or the baby somehow. Hysterical huh?

My hands rest on the tiniest swell of my baby bump, not noticeable to the eyes of a stranger, but the small rounding curve has certainly caught my own attention. My body is changing in ways I never thought, all of my pants are becoming more snug, my bra size has already grown, and my feet are constantly rebelling against my heels. Which I fucking hate.

“How do you feel about going back to Woodstock?” Levi catches me off guard, I was far too busy musing about my body to consider the weight of his question. Only a few weeks ago we had taken the long drive upstate for Thanksgiving as a family with Star, my new found niece Magnolia, and Star's new family. It was an interesting weekend to say the least. I’m happy for her, genuinely happy. She’s finally in a good place, drug free, and living the life most normal people would only dream of.

But, things are different. I never thought I would see the day when we both started moving in our own directions in life. We never lived more than a ten minute drive apart. Now, we’re five hours apart. I guess this is what they call life, right? I just can't help but feel like I’m losing her.

“I'm okay with it. I mean, I hate Woodstock. But, I enjoy spending time with Star and Magnolia.” The truth is, I love that little girl. For being under the care of our parents for five long years, she is amazingly well adjusted. I could get used to the family holidays upstate, it’s just going to take me some time to get used to it all.

“No comment on Star's new biker gang?” I scoff at Levi. She certainly has some colorful new characters in her life, but what else is new? The people she chose to spend her time with in Manhattan weren't much better.

“Whatever makes her happy,” I wave him off with my hand, and stand up, heading for the kitchen. I really wish I could down a shot of whiskey, but everyone keeps telling me it’s shitty for the baby. Damn it. I opt for a glass of apple juice, one of the few cravings I’ve had since learning about Squishy. It’s just nice that I can finally keep it down.

A big crash echoes through the living room, followed by Levi cursing up a storm.

“Fuck this shit! Fuck this tree!” I peek around the corner to see the tree laying on the ground next to him. He is holding onto his side wincing in pain. I can't help but laugh at him on my way to the bedroom, where I’ll indulge in a nice warm bath.

“Merry Christmas Levi.”

(Levi)

She laughed at me and continued on her way. I’m officially going to start calling her Scrooge McDuck. Anything that has to do with Christmas is like pulling damn teeth. I guess her upbringing is to blame though.

Growing up, I always had these huge family Christmases. Lights on everything, a giant real Christmas tree we would trek into the woods upstate to cut down ourselves, Advent calendars, and massive celebrations. And because I am an only child, my parents spoiled the shit out of me. That was until they died my senior year of high school. Everything changed then. The happy home life I’d known growing up was thrust out the window when I was forced to go live with my aunt and uncle, whom I still don't care much for, but that is a story for another day. I think?

Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with the stupid tree. We are leaving tomorrow morning, and won't be back for a couple days. I’m sure by the time we get back, all the needles will be all over the floor, giving Seven another reason to flip out. Fuckin' hormones man!

I wrestle to get the tree upright again, and secure it in the wrought iron Christmas tree stand I pulled from my storage unit, which houses everything of my parents. I have so many fond memories of my father holding up our Christmas tree, while I turned the screws on the stand to secure it in place. We always decorated it together.