Kirkland Revels (4 page)

Friday in his basket, too weak to rise, made an effort to do so ; his pleasure was obvious at the sight of Gabriel, whose long, elegant fingers gently stroked the dog’s ear.

” He’s fond of you,” I said.

” But you’ll have first place in. his heart.”

” I saw him first,” I reminded him. ” I shall keep him with me always.

Will you let me pay you what you gave the woman? “

” I wouldn’t hear of it,” he told me.

“I should like to feel that he is all mine.”

” So he is. A gift. But I admit to an interest. If I may. I shall call again to inquire after his health.”

” It is not a bad idea to have a dog in the house,” said my 23 father, as he came to stand beside us and took down into the basket.

We were standing thus when Mary brought in the tea wagon. There were hot crumpets as well as bread and butter and cakes; and as I sat ‘behind the silver teapot, I thought this was my happiest afternoon since I had returned from France; I was as contented as I had been when Uncle Dick came home.

I did not realise until later that this was because I now had something in the house which I could love. I had Friday. I did not think at this stage that I had Gabriel too. That came later.

During the next two weeks Gabriel called regularly at Glen House; and at the end of that first week Friday was fully restored to health. His wounds had healed and good food regularly taken had done the rest.

He slept in his basket in my room and followed me where- ever he could.

I talked to him continuously. The house had changed; my life had changed because of him.

He wanted to ‘be not only my companion but my defender. There was adoration in those limpid eyes when they looked into mine. He remembered that he owed his life to me; and because he was the faithful sort, that was something he would never forget.

We went for walks together—he and I. Only when I rode did I leave him behind, and when I returned he would fling himself at me in the sort of welcome I had only ever had from Uncle Dick.

Then there was Gabriel.

He continued to stay at the Black Hart. I wondered why. There was a lot I could not quite understand about Gabriel. There were times when he talked freely about himself, but even at such times I always had the impression that there was something he was holding back. I felt that he was on the verge of telling me, that he longed to tell me, and could never quite bring himself to do so; and that which he held back was some dark secret, perhaps something which he did not entirely understand himself.

We had become great friends. My father seemed to like him—at least he made no protests about his constant visits, The servants had grown used to him, and even Fanny, as long as we were properly chaperoned, made no complaints. 24 At the end of the first week he had said that soon he would be going home; but at the end of the second he was still with us.

I had a feeling that he was deceiving himself in some way, that he was promising himself that he would go home, and then making excuses not to.

I did not ask him questions about his home even though I longed to learn more about him. This was something else I had learned. At school I had often been made uneasy by searching questions about my home; I had determined not to inflict the same discomfort on others. I would never probe, but always wait to be told.

So we talked about me, for Gabriel had no such reticence where I was concerned, and strangely enough, with him I did not mind. I told him about Uncle Dick who had always been a kind of hero to me, and I made him see Uncle Dick with his sparkling greenish eyes and black ‘beard.

Gabriel said once when I had talked of my uncle: ” You and he must be somewhat alike.”

” There is a strong resemblance, I believe.”

” He sounds like the sort of person who is determined to get the most out of life. I mean, he would act without first weighing up the consequences. Tell me, are you like that?”

” Perhaps I am.”

He smiled. ” I believe you are,” he said; and there came into his eyes what I can only describe as a far-away look, by which I mean that he was seeing me, not as we were together at that moment, ‘but in some other place, in some other situation.

I thought he was about to speak, but he remained silent and I did not press him, for I was already beginning to feel that too much probing, too many questions, disturbed him. I must wait, I knew intuitively, for him to tell me without prompting.

But I had discovered that there was something unusual about Gabriel, and that should have warned me not to allow myself to become too deeply involved. I had been so lonely;

I found the atmosphere of my home so depressing; I longed for a friend of my own age; and the strangeness of Gabriel enthralled me.

So I refused to see any danger signals and we continued to meet.

We liked to ride on to the moors, tether our horses and stretch ourselves out in the shelter of a boulder, looking up an the sky, our arms behind our heads, talking in a dreamy, desultory way.

Fanny would have considered this the height of impropriety, but I was determined to adhere to no conventions ; I knew this attitude delighted Gabriel and I learned later why it did so.

Each day I would ride out and meet him at some agreed spot because I could not bear the sly glances Fanny gave him when he called at the house. In our small and sheltered community it was not possible to meet a young man daily without causing a certain amount of speculation.

I often wondered, during the early period of our acquaintance, whether Gabriel was aware of this; I also wondered whether he felt as embarrassed about it as I did.

I had not heard from Dilys for some weeks, so I supposed she was too immersed in her own affairs to have time to write. I did feel, however, that now I could write to her because I had something to tell her. I explained about our finding the dog, and how fond I had become of him; but what I really wanted to talk about was Gabriel. My affection for Friday was uncomplicated, but I could not quite understand my feelings for Gabriel.

He interested me, and I looked forward to our meetings with something more than the pleasure of a lonely girl who has at last found a friend;

I realised that this was because I was constantly expecting some revelation which would startle me. There was certainly an air of mystery about Gabriel and I believed that again and again he was on the verge of con ding some secret which he longed to share with me and could not quite bring himself to do so. I had a conviction that he, like my father, was in need of comfort ; and while my father repulsed me, Gabriel, when the time came, would welcome my desire to share whatever it was that was troubling him.

It was impossible, of course, to confide all this to the lighthearted Dilys, particularly when I was not at all sure of it myself. So I wrote a chatty, superficial letter, and felt pleased become something had happened to me which was worthy to be written about.

It was three weeks after we met when Gabriel seemed to come to a decision; and the day he began to talk to me about his home marked a change in our relationship.

We were lying stretched out on the moor and he pulled up handfuls of grass as he talked to me. 26 .

” I am sure I should find it attractive. It’s very old, is it not? Old houses have always been absorbingly interesting to me.”

He nodded, and again there was that far-away look in his eyes.

” Revels,” I murmured. ” It’s such a lovely name. It sounds as though the people who named it were determined to have a great deal of fun there.”

He laughed mirthlessly, and there was a brief silence before he began to speak; then it was as though he were reciting a piece he had learned by heart.

” It was built in the middle of the sixteenth century. When Kirkland Abbey was dissolved, it was given to my ancestors. They took stones from the Abbey and with them built a house. Because it was used as a house in which to make merry … I must have had very merry ancestors it was called Kirk- land Revels in contrast to Kirkland Abbey.”

” So the stones which built your house were once those of an ancient abbey?”

” Tons and tons of stone,” he murmured. ” There’s still much of the old Abbey in existence. When I stand on my balcony I can look across to those grey and ancient arches. In certain lights you can imagine that they are not merely ruins … in fact it is difficult to believe they are. Then you can almost see the monks in their habits moving silently among the stones.”

” How attractive it must be. You love it, do you not?”

” It has a fascination for all who see it. Don’t all things as old as that? Imagine, although the house is a mere three hundred years old, the stones of which it is built date back to the twelfth century.

Naturally everyone’s impressed. You will be when . “

He stopped and I saw the slow smile curve his delicate lips.

I am forthright and had never been able to hedge, so I said: ” Are you suggesting that I shall see it?”

The smile about his lips expanded. ” I have been a guest in your home.

I should like you to be one in mine. “

Then it came bursting out: ” Miss Corder, I shall nave to go home soon.”

” You don’t want to, do you, Mr. Rockwell?”

“We are great friends, I believe.” he said.

“At least I feel we are.”

” We have known each other but three weeks,” I reminded him.

” But the circumstances were exceptional. Please call me Gabriel.”

I hesitated, then I laughed.

“What’s in a name?” I asked. ” Our friendship cannot be greater or less, whether I call you by your Christian or surname. What were you going to say to me, Gabriel?”

” Catherine!” he almost whispered my name as he turned on his side and leaned on his elbow to look at me. ” You are right, I don’t want to go back.”

I did not look at him because I feared my next question was impertinent, but I could not prevent myself from asking it. ” Why are you afraid to go back?”

He had turned away. ” Afraid?” His voice sounded high pitched. ” Who said I was afraid?”

” Then I imagined it.”

Silence fell between us for a few seconds, then he said:

“I wish I could make you see the Revels … the Abbey. I wish …”

” Tell me about it,” I said and added: ” If you want to … but only if you want to.”

” It’s about myself I want to tell you, Catherine.”

” Then please do.”

” These have been the most interesting and happiest weeks of my life, and it is because of you. The reason I do not want to go back to the Revels is because it would mean saying good-bye to you.”

” Perhaps we should meet again.”

He turned to me. ” When?” he asked almost angrily.

” Some time perhaps.”

“Some time! How do we know what time is left to us?”

” How strangely you talk … as though you thought that one … or both of us … might die tomorrow.”

There was a faint flush in his cheeks which seemed to make his eyes burn brightly.

“Who can say when death shall come?”

” How morbid you have grown. I am nineteen. You have told me that you are twenty-three. People of our ages do not talk of dying.”

” One evidently does. Catherine, will you marry me?”

I must have looked shocked by this unexpected outburst because he laughed and said: “You are looking at me as 28 though I am crazy. Is it so strange that someone should want to marry you.”

” But I cannot take this seriously.”

” You must, Catherine. I ask with the utmost seriousness.”

” But how can you speak of marriage after such a short acquaintance?”

” It does not seem short. We have met every day. I know that you are all I want, and that is enough for me.”

I was silent. In spite of Fanny’s attitude I had not considered marriage with Gabriel. We were the best of friends and I should be desolate if he went away ; but when I thought of marriage he seemed almost like a stranger. He aroused my curiosity and interest; he was unlike anyone I had ever known and, because of that certain mystery which shrouded his personality, he attracted me very much; but until this moment I had thought of him mainly as a person whom good fortune had sent my way at an important moment. There was so little I knew about him; I had never met any of his people. Indeed when they, or his home, briefly intruded into our conversation I was immediately conscious of Gabriel’s withdrawing from me, as though there were secrets in his life which he was not prepared to share with me. In view of all this I thought it very strange that he should suddenly suggest marriage.

He went on: ” Catherine, what is your answer?”

” It is No, Gabriel. There is so much we do not know about each other.”

” You mean there is so much you do not know about me.”

” Perhaps that is what I mean.”

“But what do you want to know? We love horses; we love dogs; we find pleasure in each other’s company; I can laugh and be happy with you.

What more could I ask than to laugh and be happy for the rest of my life? “

” And with others … in your home … you cannot laugh and be happy?”

” I could never be completely happy with anyone else but you; I could never laugh so freely.”

” It seems a flimsy structure on which to base a marriage.”

“You are being cautious, Catherine. You feel I have spoken too soon.”

I knew then how desolate I should be if he went away, and I said quickly: ” Yes, that is it. This is too soon….”

” At least,” he said, ” I do not have to fear a rival. Do not 29 say No, Catherine. Think of how much I want this to be … and try to want it a little yourself.”

I stood up. I was no longer in the mood to stay on the moors. He made no protest and we rode to the village, where he said good-bye to me.

When I reached the stables Friday was waiting there for me, He always knew when I had gone out riding and never failed to be in the stableyard watching for my return.

He waited patiently until I had given Wanda to one of the lads, then he flung himself at me, making sure that I was fully aware of his pleasure in my return. Many dogs have that lovable quality, but in Friday it was stronger than usual because it was touched by an extreme humility.